2010.04.25 07:00 - Thank you, Fael

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Adams Dubrovna. The comments are by Adams Dubrovna.

    The title refers to Fael standing in for me in this time slot while I took a long break. In this session, Fael stepped aside so I can return. I sat by myself for a while  this morning enjoying the peacefulness of being temporarily alone in RL and SL, contemplating my past year in PaB, contrasting it to the first and wondering what is next.

    Adams Dubrovna wondering where everyone is this morning
    Adams Dubrovna: Hello Fael :)
    Fael Illyar: Hi Adams, sorry I'm late :)
    Adams Dubrovna: I have been enjoying the quiet, thinking about the last year in PaB
    Adams Dubrovna: The two years were very different for me
    Adams Dubrovna: We just finished up a student exhibition yesterday
    Fael brings up the session; we had sopken privately about thiss about a month ago
    Fael Illyar: you asked me earlier if I'd be willing to let you have this time slot for yourself some weeks back. Did you end up not able to, afterall?
    Adams Dubrovna: So I am somewhat free until I start my next project
    Adams Dubrovna: I have been still drifting along so far
    Fael Illyar: Oh I haven't mentioned it much yet, I'm thinking to go back to university... well, pretty much decided. Only if I'm not accepted into the local university I might have to change my plans.
    Fael Illyar: but that doesn't sound likely :)
    Adams Dubrovna: I hope that works out for you :)
    Adams Dubrovna: One of these years I am going to graduate (chuckles)
    Fael Illyar: Haha, yes :)
    Adams Dubrovna: I have served eight consecutive college careers now :)
    Fael Illyar: I've applied to get into computer science but math as secondary since that's almost certain to get me in. And I do have enough math studied already for Bachelor. Only need the minor subjects.
    Adams Dubrovna: wonderful!
    Adams Dubrovna: I am always amazed how much there still is to learn :)
    Fael Illyar smiles 'Always something to learn.'
    Adams Dubrovna: That is the great thing about staying on in the university
    Fael Illyar: It's been very nice noticing little bits and pieces and noting that "oh, I had no idea it could go that way before."
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Fael Illyar: that is, after pretty much naturally noting that that's the way it goes.
    Adams Dubrovna: :)))
    Fael Illyar: then noticing that I wouldn't have noticed that in the past.
    Adams Dubrovna: used up my superlatve smiles :)
    Adams Dubrovna: that is a wonderful thing to learn
    Fael Illyar: Yes :)
    Fael Illyar: you realize you are learning something in a quite concrete way :)
    Fael Illyar: I've recently realized why I stopped playing go actively. The pressure I was placing on myself about it became too much. The more I liked the game, the more I wanted to get better at it, the more pressure I put on myself.
    Fael Illyar: and... the less I wanted to play
    Adams Dubrovna: We can do that for everything we enjoy
    Fael Illyar: yep
    Adams Dubrovna: then we drop the pressure and the wanting and it is fun again
    Adams Dubrovna: Thank you for bringing up the Sunday morning session
    Adams Dubrovna: I think I would be ready to take it on again if you didn't mind
    Fael Illyar: Yes, I've been playing a rather challenging computer strategy game lately and somehow I was ready to learn this lesson this time.
    Adams Dubrovna: It was a good long break for me
    Fael Illyar smiles 'Then it's yours.'
    Adams Dubrovna: good to exercise the brain :)
    Adams Dubrovna: Thanks, I'll be here next week
    Adams Dubrovna: Thank you for filling the spot while I took the break
    Dropping fear of failure
    Fael Illyar: Yes, when I started this game, I was feeling the battles were tedious, yet I kept playing since I wanted to see where the story goes.
    Fael Illyar: then, after a while (not a short one this game) I eventually had a lightbulb light up in my head during one particular battle where I was having to scratch my head much more than usual to figure out a way to get through it, I somehow grasped that I'd be able to do it much faster and with less mental strain if I just let myself try the best strategy that comes to mind, even if it fails, just try again.
    Adams Dubrovna: Sort of like life :)
    Fael Illyar: the strain was coming from agonizing over the possibility of failure.
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Fael Illyar: and since it was particularly difficult one, it was quite large.
    Adams Dubrovna: The fear of failure is like wrapping oneself up in a box
    Fael Illyar: Even so, once I let go of avoiding the failure and instead deciding to take one failure to learn the tricks the opponent uses... it actually went very well on the first attempt.
    Fael Illyar: the particular difficulty for me in this one is that you can see everything the opponent has and what they can do before you begin. But ... if they have something that would be disastrous for your team but they don't use it...
    Fael Illyar: you can't tell that until you try :)
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Fael Illyar: I had another one of those this morning.
    Fael Illyar: I first spent half an hour poring over strategies to counter two particularly nasty looking skills the opponent had and... when I decided to actually see just how they would be used... they ended up not used at all.
    Adams Dubrovna: interesting programming
    Fael Illyar: yes :)
    Fael Illyar: I guess, if I hadn't bought a close range unit of my own into the fray, the opponent would have used them.
    Adams Dubrovna: we often forget that those in opposition are huiman and make mistakes of judgement too
    Fael Illyar: ah, this one is computer opponent :)
    Adams Dubrovna: hehe
    Fael Illyar: at first glance, looked invincible, almost.
    Shopping before a battle
    Fael Illyar: anyway, I had a trip to grocery store before I actually got the nerve to go at the opponent :)
    Adams Dubrovna: there is a metaphor there somewhere :)
    Fael Illyar: it's amusing how much effort I put into avoiding the "game over" text. Even though I can return to right before the battle from save game.
    Fael Illyar: Heh, yes :)
    Fael Illyar: I left for the shop because I already had needed to go yesterday and I noticed the shop had just opened.
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Fael Illyar: I'd have gone right after waking up if the shop had been open already at the time
    Adams Dubrovna: I guess someone did the shopping for Napoleon
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Fael Illyar: most likely :D
    Adams Dubrovna: Maybe it would have helped him at Waterloo
    Fael Illyar: Who knows :)
    While we were talking, I was thinking of how Fael and I had often found ourselves togetehr in PaB sessions when I first began. Fael has started a week or so before me and had mentored me
    Adams Dubrovna: I wonder how many months it has been since you and I were at a PaB session togteher by ourselves
    Adams Dubrovna: I t was very common at the beginning I think
    Fael Illyar: I'd guess very many :)
    Fael Illyar: I think you came to mine and I came to yours :)
    Fael Illyar: and it was often just the two of us.
    Adams Dubrovna: And oftertimes filled in too in those days
    Fael Illyar: yes, that too :)
    Fael Illyar: At the beginning, I came to every session I possibly could.
    Adams Dubrovna: It has been nice to see others experiencing that
    Adams Dubrovna: yes, me too
    Adams Dubrovna: It was summer, I wasn;t too busy and easier for me
    Fael Illyar: Yes... soon it'll be summer again :)
    Adams Dubrovna: Last summer I was pretty busy
    Adams Dubrovna: Hopefully not so much this summer
    Fael Illyar: ah... two years soon :)
    Adams Dubrovna: yes, I was thinking that as I was sitting here this morning
    Adams Dubrovna: Much has changed and much has stayed the same
    Adams Dubrovna: not in the combination we might have expected :)
    Fael Illyar: Not quite but that's what keeps life interesting :)
    Adams Dubrovna: :)
    Sharon arrives
    Fael Illyar: Hi Sharon :)
    Adams Dubrovna: Hello Sharon :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hi :))
    Fael Illyar: Ah, lovely pet you have there, Sharon :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: teleported to the pavilion, meant to tp to the meeting house I guess you'd call it :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: thanks :)
    Fael Illyar: I've handed this time slot over to Adams now :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ooohh
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Fael Illyar: Oh, speaking of which, would you like to post the log already or shall I do it one more time?
    Adams Dubrovna: Either way is fine Fael
    Adams Dubrovna: I claimed it earlier but you can claim it if you would prefer
    Fael Illyar: My preference would be that you post it :)
    Adams Dubrovna: OK. I'll do it :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: glad your taking it Adams
    Fael Illyar: If I do it, it's going to be just the bare log... I haven't been feeling like commenting on the log in a long while.
    Adams Dubrovna: I think it is fine not to comment
    Adams Dubrovna: Thank you again for filling in while I took a break Fael :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: weel, it's 8...todays Sunday right? (??)
    Fael Illyar: you're welcome :)
    Fael Illyar: yep, guardian meeting.
    Fael Illyar: shall we?
    Adams Dubrovna: yes, time for the guardian get together
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Fael Illyar: see you there :)
    Adams Dubrovna: I don;t think I can stay too long

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