2010.10.10 01:00 - Dying

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    Wol Euler was guardian and commenter for this session. Perhaps it was the coincidence of John Lennon's would-have-been seventieth birthday that prompted this discussion. It was one of the most moving conversations I've had in PaB recently.


    Archmage Atlantis: hello, Wol *g*
    Archmage Atlantis: Imagine meeting you here :)
    Archmage Atlantis: Oh wait
    Wol Euler: yeah, and on 42 day* too!
    Wol Euler: how improbable is that
    Archmage Atlantis: Yesterday John Lennon was 70 yesterday and imagine :)
    Wol Euler: mmhmm
    Wol Euler: that seems odd, somehow, I thought he would have been older than that
    Wol Euler: farther from my own age
    Archmage Atlantis: He was farther from most ppl in age when he was born, imo
    Archmage Atlantis: And I never liked his music till long after he was gone
    Archmage Atlantis: I remember as a small child, well I was never small, but it's a good metaphor
    Wol Euler: :)
    Archmage Atlantis: I didn't get the 4/4 beat of the early music
    Wol Euler: o.O
    Wol Euler: really?
    Archmage Atlantis: Actually I still don't
    Archmage Atlantis: I really only like yellow submarine forward
    Archmage Atlantis: yeah really
    Wol Euler: but that's also 4/4 (music pedant)
    Archmage Atlantis: Hmmm
    Wol Euler: though I suppose you couldsay that the lilt in "yellow subarine" makes that 12/8
    Wol Euler: I'll grant you there is a difference between "love love me do" and "yellow submarine" :)
    Archmage Atlantis: You know something about the construction of music, Wol?
    Wol Euler: I played violin for many years
    Archmage Atlantis: Ahhh
    Archmage Atlantis: Not an easy instrument
    Wol Euler: indeed. plenty of room for error
    Archmage Atlantis: So you hear sound
    Archmage Atlantis: Not like most of us do
    Wol Euler shrugs. Every learning that we do re-shapes our view of the world, tunes our perceptions in a diferent diretion
    Archmage Atlantis: I only hear the emotion, you hear the construction
    Archmage Atlantis: true
    Arch has something on his mind.
    Archmage Atlantis: Do you ever talk to X, Wol?
    Archmage Atlantis: random thought
    Wol Euler: I haven't seen hem in many months, Arch.
    Archmage Atlantis: The dying often withdraw
    Archmage Atlantis: matters not
    Archmage Atlantis: Time for you to be guardian
    Wol Euler: ((****** note to myself: remove this from the log! ******))
    Archmage Atlantis: You many remove your words.....I would appreciated if you allow mine to stand
    Wol Euler: oh, ok
    Archmage Atlantis: I no longer fear
    Wol Euler: I didn't know that zie was "out" about hir health.
    Archmage Atlantis: Zie is not
    Wol Euler: *you* might not fear, but I suggest that you do not have the right to decide that for hem.
    Archmage Atlantis: That is true
    Wol Euler: tell you what, if you want to talk about dying generally, I'll let your words stand but remove X's name.
    Archmage Atlantis: You are a good person Wol
    Wol Euler: I try, Arch.
    There is a pause during which I imagine Arch gathering his thoughts.
    Archmage Atlantis: Well, let's see.......I am dying
    Archmage Atlantis: Not immediately
    Archmage Atlantis: but it is closer than most of lesser age
    Wol Euler listens
    Archmage Atlantis: It is more difficult to talk about, because it seems insane......
    Archmage Atlantis: Yet, we are at a point of decision in this reality
    Wol Euler: why "insane"?
    Archmage Atlantis: Because insane means not matching to what reality has gone before
    Wol Euler: oh, I see. Being in this position feels like an insane break with your life before it
    Archmage Atlantis: Yes, that
    Archmage Atlantis: 'Would you mind if I took another form, Wol?
    Wol Euler: go ahead :)
    Archmage Atlantis: ok
    Archmage Atlantis: ty
    Arch switches av-form to a white leopard.
    Archmage Atlantis: Do you hear song birds?
    Wol Euler: mmhmm
    Wol Euler: actually now that you mention it, I hear only insects at the mment
    Archmage Atlantis: Ah
    Wol Euler: heh, scratch that, there's teh bird.
    Archmage Atlantis: The frogs here in RL sound like birds
    Archmage Atlantis: the Everglades are very interesting
    Wol Euler listens.
    Archmage Atlantis: Lately the panthers and bears have been coming to play, eat and be in people's backyards
    Archmage Atlantis: A nice change from the alligators and pythons
    Wol Euler: heheh
    Wol Euler: mammals do feel closer to us, somehow
    Wol Euler: even if those are still predators
    Archmage Atlantis: Mammals care for their young....some reps and fish do also...almost no insects
    Archmage Atlantis: But a few do
    Arch continues.
    Archmage Atlantis: We are at a place of decision
    Wol Euler listens.
    Archmage Atlantis: Nature has experimented, now we chose what we think is best
    Another pause, and a change of topic, to the Play as Being group.
    Archmage Atlantis: Ah, time to rebecome myself
    Archmage Atlantis: Bell
    Wol Euler smiles.
    Archmage Atlantis: I've been missing the bell too much lately
    Archmage Atlantis: The moments to reflect
    Wol Euler nods.
    Wol Euler: many of us do.
    Wol Euler: I'm guilty too, though I try to be aware of it
    Archmage Atlantis: Still, that is what this place is built upon
    Archmage Atlantis: Pema wrote it down
    Wol Euler: :)
    Wol Euler: It saddens me to read newcomers saying "this (our conversation) seems very random" or "there doesn't seem to be much meditation here"
    Archmage Atlantis: I understand
    Wol Euler: there is a place for salons, for meaningful conversation, and I'm glad to take part in them.
    Archmage Atlantis: There was a point to this place
    Wol Euler: but I do regret that we have drifted so far from our original purpose
    Wol Euler: it seems to me that many of the newer members see it only as a salon
    Archmage Atlantis: Perhaps that is growth, to understand one's beginnings
    My thoughts.
    Wol Euler: I wish that Pema would return to taking an active part in the sessions.
    Wol Euler: perhaps that is just laziness on my part, giving in to my hesitation and reluctance.
    Wol Euler: because I could also lead us in that direction
    Wol Euler: but I don't
    Archmage Atlantis: He has failed if no other can take his place......actually, many others
    Wol Euler: many could.
    Wol Euler: none do.
    Another pause, another change.
    Archmage Atlantis: My cat needs to be lifted to the bed.........he has realized I will do it for him.....he is 19 yo,, a bit old for a cat
    Wol Euler: yes, that is old.
    Archmage Atlantis: Yet if I am not here. he finds his own way
    Wol Euler: he must have been well cared for, well loved, to reach that age
    Archmage Atlantis: He has been loved, yes, not always well cared for
    Wol Euler: my cousin's husband, a carpenter/housebuilder, made a ramp for their aged cat to climb onto their bed
    Archmage Atlantis: I like
    Archmage Atlantis: I have been looking for a ramp
    Wol Euler: I think that's why I never had a pet (since living on my own). I'm afraid of losing them.
    Wol Euler: plus the fact that I'm away for weeks at a time, for work or holiday. I thought that would be unfair to them
    Wol Euler: but it was mostly fear of loss.
    Archmage Atlantis: We never lose one that we love.
    Wol Euler nods.
    Archmage Atlantis: And, as for a pet, get 2
    Wol Euler grins.
    Archmage Atlantis: They willl be there when you are not
    Wol Euler: to entertain each other
    Wol Euler: nice
    Archmage Atlantis: And fight, and bitch, and scratch......and then to realize they are both there
    Wol Euler: like children
    Archmage Atlantis: Like adults also
    Wol Euler: heheheh
    Wol Euler: yes
    Archmage Atlantis: The animals that have come to live with humans, no other simians have such pets.companions
    Wol Euler: mmhmm
    Archmage Atlantis: Te ones that are with ous chose this, the others are wild
    Wol Euler: though I've read that the great apes in zoos do sometimes "adopt" stray cats
    Wol Euler: and horses will apparently become friendly with the cats and dogs that visit their stables
    Archmage Atlantis: prototyes
    Wol Euler: child substitutes, perhaps.
    Wol Euler: since we don't usually let them breed freely
    Archmage Atlantis: Not all horses, not all dogs, not all felines
    Archmage Atlantis: Nor should we breed freely
    Wol Euler: :)
    Archmage Atlantis: We have gone past that need
    Wol Euler: many do who should not, agreed.
    Wol Euler: it's interesting that there is an aptitude test and background checks before adopting, but anyone can make a kid of their own at will
    Wol Euler: as though we recognize that parenting is too hard for some people, but are unwilling to take the next logical step.
    Wol Euler: and rightly so.
    Wol Euler: that way lies madness.
    Wol Euler: oh, I have to go. Work calls.
    Archmage Atlantis: Madness is the way thorough, only by madness do we change
    Archmage Atlantis: Night love
    Wol Euler: goodnight arch.
    Wol Euler: take care
    Archmage Atlantis: Namaste and Blessings


    * a geeky joke: 101010 is 42 in binary

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