2011.04.14 07:00 - Fear of failing

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Storm Nordwind. The comments are by Storm Nordwind.

    Questions asked - and variously answered - in this session:

    • What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
    • How does that sit with dropping what you have to see what you are?
    • Is it harder or easier to drop fear of failing as you get older?
    • How do you drop fear?
    • Is fear based on past experiences or is it innate?
    • Are we what others think of us?
    • What kind of person is not defined like that?

    Xirana Oximoxi: Hello Korel and Storm:)
    Storm Nordwind: Good morning Xirana!
    Xirana Oximoxi: Good morning:)))
    Storm Nordwind: Hi Yaku :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: I've seen the video of the flight of 'birds'... not exactly like flying in a toast with butter... but nearly!!! :)))
    Xirana Oximoxi: Hi Yaku:)
    Storm Nordwind: :)

    A world of possibilities.

    Storm Nordwind wonders what his next tour vehicle will be. First a carpet, then a slice of toast...
    Xirana Oximoxi: well... here you have a lot more of possibilities:))
    Storm Nordwind: Yes!
    Xirana Oximoxi: a shoe?
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    Storm Nordwind: Hmm... maybe
    Yakuzza Lethecus would prefer a steak right now :P
    Storm Nordwind: haha!
    Xirana Oximoxi: hehehe

    Posing two questions.

    Storm Nordwind: I was thinking about this land of possibilities earlier...
    Storm Nordwind: and two questions came to mind:
    Storm Nordwind: first question is a standard question that gets asks in RL workshops of various kinds...
    Storm Nordwind: and that is, "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"
    Storm Nordwind: And the second question...
    Storm Nordwind: "How does that relate to the practice of dropping?"
    Storm Nordwind: It seemed to me the two ideas have almost contradictory attitudes
    Storm Nordwind: Ideas anyone?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hello susan
    Storm Nordwind: Hi Susan
    Xirana Oximoxi: hello Susan
    iwandertoo Resident: waves :)

    What does dropping mean anyway?

    Xirana Oximoxi: I have problems with the meaning of 'dropping' :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: well i think i might start to study in my sparetime
    Storm Nordwind: Though, Xirana, you're familiar with the "Drop what you have to see what you are" idea of PaB?
    Xirana Oximoxi: drop means a small 'drop' of water falling to the floor... (for me...at the moment )
    Storm Nordwind: I see Xirana... perhaps think of "let go of" instead?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: dropping actually also means to ,,see" those little monkeys and smile at those
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hello arch
    iwandertoo Resident: waves
    Storm Nordwind: Good morning Arch :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes... in a metaphorical way.. to bring ourselfs slowly. word by word, thought by thought to the round here:)

    Yaku has an answer to the original questions.

    Yakuzza Lethecus: dropping an elaborated mindset of failure, that´s kind of the last target for me
    Xirana Oximoxi: hello Arch:)
    Archmage Atlantis: Helo
    Storm Nordwind: Ah... so Yaku... the first question of "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" works very well with dropping? :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: yes, i´d say it does
    Storm Nordwind: Thank you! It's good to see things from other people's point of view. Very helpful :)
    iwandertoo Resident: i love this about PaB
    Storm Nordwind smiles
    iwandertoo Resident: (it is very helpful)
    Archmage Atlantis: Yaku, now I see you , I wish to not only wtist bak
    Alfred Kelberry: meep!
    Alfred Kelberry: hi :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey boxy
    Storm Nordwind: Hi there Boxy!
    Alfred Kelberry: yaku-san :)
    iwandertoo Resident: waves
    Xirana Oximoxi: hi Boxy:)
    Alfred Kelberry: :)

    Restating the questions.

    Alfred Kelberry: what's the topic today?
    Storm Nordwind: So far I'd posed two questions (1) "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" and (2) Does this work with the idea of dropping?
    Xirana Oximoxi: in wiktionary, drop also = 'to fall... so the two questions are quite similar
    Xirana Oximoxi: I was thinking about this land of possibilities earlier... [07:04] Storm Nordwind: and two questions came to mind: [07:04] Storm Nordwind: first question is a standard question that gets asks in RL workshops of various kinds... [07:05] Storm Nordwind:
    Xirana Oximoxi: questons that Storm has made
    Xirana Oximoxi: oh! it has been 'cut'
    Storm Nordwind chuckles
    Alfred Kelberry: stormy, i love the "no fail" proposition :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: not all the enire questions that Storm has made ..sorry
    Storm Nordwind: No problem Xirana - thank you anyway!
    Xirana Oximoxi: yw:)

    Boxy has an answer too.

    Alfred Kelberry: i think if for a moment you "drop" the judgmental past and unpredicted future, you can enter the "no fail" mode
    Storm Nordwind: Aha! Another brilliant insight! :)
    Alfred Kelberry: :)
    Alfred Kelberry: so hard to do...
    Yakuzza Lethecus wonders if pema would say ,,and yet so easy"
    Alfred Kelberry: ha! :)
    Alfred Kelberry: relative

    Boxy's question - of fear.

    Alfred Kelberry: do you think with age it's harder or easier to drop the fear of failing?
    Bleu Oleander: hi everyone
    Storm Nordwind: Hi Bleu!
    Xirana Oximoxi: hi Bleu
    iwandertoo Resident: waves
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey bleu
    Storm Nordwind: Good question Boxy. Personally I think it's easy to drop the fear of failing as one gets older. But I may be the wrong person to ask as I have dropped fear of all sorts!
    Alfred Kelberry: enlightened stormy :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: I was thinking it may be different for each person
    Alfred Kelberry: how did you do it?
    Storm Nordwind nods to Xirana
    Storm Nordwind: By asking what fear was based on
    Xirana Oximoxi: and also getting older you can have moments of fear and moments where this seems to be dropped:) (hope I've used 'dropped' correctly:)
    Xirana Oximoxi: and did you find out what fear is based on?
    Xirana Oximoxi: I mean, that maybe sometimes is not easy to find
    Storm Nordwind: I don't know, Xirana, if it's different for different people, but my guess it's based on the prospect of personal harm in some way
    Xirana Oximoxi: I understand Storm...:)
    Bleu Oleander: do you think it's based on your past experiences or is it innate?
    Storm Nordwind: Fear helps people survive. But it can also make their lives miserable!
    Alfred Kelberry: fear of falling is innate
    Alfred Kelberry: fear of quitting your job isn't
    Bleu Oleander: so how do you find a balance between survival and misery?
    Storm Nordwind: The difference between "past experiences" and "innate" is very blurred for those who believe in reincarnation! ;)
    Alfred Kelberry: i'd love it to be true, but... i highly doubt it :)
    Alfred Kelberry: luci :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: hello Luci :)
    iwandertoo Resident: waves
    Lucinda Lavender: HI everyone:)
    Bleu Oleander: hi Luci
    Storm Nordwind: The body reacts to circumstance. It triggers emotions that rise and fall. We can watch them arise and fall away with dispassionate interest, or we can identify with them and hang on to them because we don't want to lose our identity. We have the choice, including the choice to practice! :)
    Alfred Kelberry: identity... interesting
    Storm Nordwind nods
    Storm Nordwind: So often there is a tendency to say we are what we think or we are what we feel.
    Storm Nordwind: (Or at least so it has seemed to me :)
    Alfred Kelberry: so if you're a big macho type, you can't just say "let's forget about it and be friends"? you have to punch a few times? :)
    Bleu Oleander: :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: hehheee

    Are we defined by others?

    Alfred Kelberry: actually, we are what others think of us
    Storm Nordwind: oh?
    Alfred Kelberry: our identity is shaped by social interaction with others
    Xirana Oximoxi: hmmmm... we need others to be, but not at this point, I think!! :)
    Storm Nordwind: It can be, Boxy, if we are malleable
    Alfred Kelberry: most people are
    Storm Nordwind: Alas, I don't know enough people to comment on that!
    Bleu Oleander: environment and relationships shape us ... it's an on-going process ... we are constantly changing
    Alfred Kelberry: even a strong-willed type has to keep up the image
    Storm Nordwind: Why Boxy?
    Alfred Kelberry: cause people expect him to act a certain way

    What kind of person is not defined by others like this?

    Storm Nordwind: And if he doesn't care what people expect?
    Alfred Kelberry: this is the shaping effect
    Alfred Kelberry: then he becomes steve jobs :)
    Alfred Kelberry: or an outcast
    Storm Nordwind: or a Buddha
    Alfred Kelberry: ! :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: partly i see practices around pab as tools to become aware of our unconcious roleplay
    Alfred Kelberry: yaku is 007 :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: :))

    And general banter closes the session.

    Lucinda Lavender: Luci is not allowed to reposition her head:)
    Alfred Kelberry: huh?
    Storm Nordwind wonders whether Luci is relogging to clear problems
    Bleu Oleander: seems so
    Alfred Kelberry: nice new look, bleu :)
    Bleu Oleander: why ty boxy :)
    Alfred Kelberry: bleu of 2011 :)
    Bleu Oleander: I wouldn't go that far
    Storm Nordwind: Bleu of April 14th 2011!
    Alfred Kelberry: yes, that's more like it :)
    Bleu Oleander: Bleu of April 14
    Bleu Oleander: ha!
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    Storm Nordwind: ninja'd
    Alfred Kelberry: tempus fugit
    Alfred Kelberry: stormy, you don't use sl 2.0 nick names?
    Storm Nordwind: Not available in viewer 1.23.5 I believe
    Alfred Kelberry: :/
    Storm Nordwind: And haven't felt the need
    Alfred Kelberry: "stormy" tag would look so nice on you :)
    Storm Nordwind: No. Friends call me "Storm"
    Alfred Kelberry: ah, ok :)
    Storm Nordwind: Which is an abbreviation of my RL name anyway
    Alfred Kelberry: but stormy is cuter!
    Storm Nordwind: Cuteness is not something I've made any attempt to emphasize!
    Alfred Kelberry: :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: hehe
    Alfred Kelberry: i think you did... in other terms :)
    Alfred Kelberry: btw, susan has 5 "s" in her name
    Alfred Kelberry: neat
    Storm Nordwind: The only other person that called me Stormy was a RL convict.
    Alfred Kelberry: :)
    Alfred Kelberry: xir! :)
    Alfred Kelberry: nice
    Xirana Oximoxi: I've changed it!! oximoxi is too long:)
    Alfred Kelberry: :)
    Alfred Kelberry: *has to go; poofs quietly*
    Storm Nordwind waves
    Xirana Oximoxi: bye:)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: yes, i am also leaving
    iwandertoo Resident: waves
    Yakuzza Lethecus: take care boxy and everyone
    Bleu Oleander: me too
    Xirana Oximoxi: bye then... me too:)
    Bleu Oleander: take care everyone :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: thanks for this nice time!!!! see you soon and have nice day!v :)
    Storm Nordwind: Bye for now!

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