Page last modified 16:30, 16 May 2011 by wol

*Wol Euler was guardian for this session.*

Wol Euler: hello sam!

Wol Euler: nice avatar

oO0Oo Resident: hiya Wol :)

oO0Oo Resident: like your outfit

Wol Euler: thank you ;) brand new, I just discovered this store

Wol Euler: it comes in opaque and sheer versions :)

Wol Euler: I thought the opaque more appropriate to the dignity of PaB

Wol Euler: hello rhi

oO0Oo Resident: hiya Rhi .. gtsy

Rhiannon Dragoone: hi Wol; hi Samud

Wol Euler: how is everyone today?

Rhiannon Dragoone: I'm good, how about you, Wol? Samud?

oO0Oo Resident: good :)

Wol Euler: I'm well, hoping for a day off today (in exchange for a half Sunday)

Rhiannon Dragoone: What do you think are your odds of getting it?

Wol Euler: better than even!

Rhiannon Dragoone: hi Egg!

Wol Euler: because I wouldn't be at work before noon and the boss will be leaving at 2pm

Wol Euler: hello egg

eggsalad Ormstein: hi rhia, hi wol

oO0Oo Resident: hi eggsalad

eggsalad Ormstein: hi sam

Wol Euler: if the mountain won't come to Mohammad ...

Wol Euler: how are you, egg?

eggsalad Ormstein: well, wol. and you?

Wol Euler: quite well thanks

eggsalad Ormstein: wos macht du?

Wol Euler: we haven't seen either of you here for a while

eggsalad Ormstein: i keep losing track of the time :(

Wol Euler: aaah

Rhiannon Dragoone: Yeah, and I keep getting busy in RL

Wol Euler: things on your mind?

eggsalad Ormstein: yes, big things

Wol Euler: care to talk about it?

Rhiannon Dragoone: What sort of things, egg?

eggsalad Ormstein: major life issues, like purpose

Wol Euler listens.

eggsalad Ormstein: I can't find one

eggsalad Ormstein: not much else to say about it

Wol Euler nods.

Wol Euler: how long have you felt this ... lack of purpose?

eggsalad Ormstein: sorry it's not a very interesting topic

Wol Euler: oh but it is.

eggsalad Ormstein: oh, it comes and goes

Wol Euler: (next topic: why do people apologise for talking about their own fears and feelings?)

eggsalad Ormstein: well, what I meant was, I don't have much to say, because the question is unresolved

Wol Euler: do you have a feeling of what kind of purpose it should be?

eggsalad Ormstein: nope, I'm completely lost

--BELL--

Rhiannon Dragoone: Samud, I think I've seen you buzzing around my pond

Wol Euler: hello obs

Rhiannon Dragoone: hi obs!

oO0Oo Resident: in the absolute.. mmm ..expect so Rhi

oO0Oo Resident: hi Observerm :)

Rhiannon Dragoone: Where is he? I saw him on my radar, but not visually

Wol Euler muses. There are all kinds of purposes, I guess. Devoting one's life to saving abandoned pets, for example

Wol Euler: due west of us, he hides in the bushes :)

Rhiannon Dragoone: oh, way over there

Rhiannon Dragoone: yeah, he is kind of hiding

eggsalad Ormstein: yes, but I can't get any motivation to do anything such as that

Wol Euler: well that makes it difficult, I guess, it would have to be something that grabs you

eggsalad Ormstein: right, and nothing appeals to me

Wol Euler: something that is significant to you (if nobody else)

Wol Euler: is this a new feeling? I don't recall you speaking about it before

eggsalad Ormstein: it's been worse lately, but it's always there

Wol Euler nods.

Wol Euler: perhaps the strength of that feeling at this particular moment is "just" a biorhythm effect?

eggsalad Ormstein: idk why it comes and goes, never gave that much thought

Wol Euler: (I'm not saying you don't need a purpose, but that your strength of feeling about it might be biorhythm based)

Rhiannon Dragoone: I need to log

Rhiannon Dragoone: Hope you work it out, egg

Wol Euler: bye rhi, take care

eggsalad Ormstein: bye rhia and thanks

Rhiannon Dragoone: You too, Wol

Bertram Jacobus: hey friends n folks ! :-)

Rhiannon Dragoone: Hi and bye Bertam

eggsalad Ormstein: hi bert.

Rhiannon Dragoone: bye Samud

oO0Oo Resident: hi Bertram .. gtsy

oO0Oo Resident: bye Rhi

Bertram Jacobus: ty - same same :-)

Wol Euler: I notice in myself the effect of biorhythms on my emotional state: I can go from despair and panic to calm without any particular change in external circumstances, over a quite long timescale

Wol Euler: hello bert, nice to see you again

Bertram Jacobus: again : tyty :-)

Bertram Jacobus: to drop emotions is not so easy ...

Wol Euler: indeed

oO0Oo Resident nods

eggsalad Ormstein: I don't even remember how they work

Bertram Jacobus: you mean, you don´t experience / have some egg ?

oO0Oo Resident: you sound depressed egg

eggsalad Ormstein: no, I remember studying biorhythms as a kid, but I've forgotten it all

eggsalad Ormstein: well, yes, sam

Bertram Jacobus: ah ! :-)

Wol Euler gives your hand a squeeze

Bertram Jacobus: hmmm ...

oO0Oo Resident: I'm sorry for any discomfort you are going through egg.. glad you made it here too.. to be here

Wol Euler: agreed

Bertram Jacobus: me too

Wol Euler: I find sitting alone much worse than sitting with friends, even if I don't say much then

--BELL--

Wol Euler: when alone in such a state, my thoughts go into a "death spiral"

Bertram Jacobus: hmmm - i was here yesterday or the day before yesterday and i found it nice as well - but i have friends at other places - so i never feel "totally alone" ...

Bertram Jacobus: oops - sry

eggsalad Ormstein: well, I'm so accustomed to it, it's really no longer a major issue

Wol Euler: no reason not to address it :)

Bertram Jacobus: "death spiral" ? what does that mean pls wol ? if i may ask ... (?) -

eggsalad Ormstein: but every time I revisit it, I get the same (non) answer

Wol Euler: that my thoughts circle around the same issue, getting tighter and faster on my inadequacy or the failure of whatever I'm obsessing about

Wol Euler: until there is no room for any other idea, nor for a solution or a way out

Bertram Jacobus: oh. i see. sry to read that, all that ...

Bertram Jacobus: so much suffering in the universe ! ...

Wol Euler: which is one of the ways that depression sustains itself: it prevents you from seeing anything but the problem

Wol Euler: talking helps, in my experience

Wol Euler: if you have somebody you can trust to listen, and to respond without bias or judgement

Bertram Jacobus: ok ...

Wol Euler: it helps enormously just to have them say that htere is a second side to it

oO0Oo Resident:

when shadows are gathering when memory dementors are raging I drop there, at the fountain there is always someone there to greet me always someone to make me laugh always some giggling or smiling or listening weaving stories in poetic voices someone showing up as a whirling dervish or making the snow fall on us with a kind heart and generous advice

*from The PaB Neighborhood Cafe by Eden Haiku [fair use] *

*edenhaiku©Totempoetry2011*

Wol Euler smiles.

Wol Euler: thanks, sam

Wol Euler: this is why therapy works: not because the therapist is a genius, but just because they are not you :)

Wol Euler: your problem doesn'T have the same emotional weight fo them as it does for you

Bertram Jacobus: ah. yes. no. :-)

eggsalad Ormstein: mine doesn't really carry emotional weight

Wol Euler raises an eyebrow.

eggsalad Ormstein: there are only two possible solutions

Wol Euler listens.

eggsalad Ormstein: find a cause, or cease living

Wol Euler: O.O

eggsalad Ormstein: so I just put off the decision indefinitely

Wol Euler: I find the second option rather drastic ...

oO0Oo Resident: i find that the 'baby giggle' is a third alternative for me.. when i feel this way

eggsalad Ormstein: oh, I didn't mean suicide, that's unacceptable

Wol Euler: good

eggsalad Ormstein: you can exist without living

Wol Euler: ah, yes, I follow you now

Wol Euler: become a robot, you mean

eggsalad Ormstein: right

Wol Euler: on the whole I'd still think the first option better ... but that's just my opinion

Wol Euler: what have you tried as possible purposes?

eggsalad Ormstein: helping people, making them smile

Bertram Jacobus: nice

Wol Euler: but that wasn't enough?

eggsalad Ormstein: it wasn't very rewarding

Wol Euler: what does "rewarding" mean?

Bertram Jacobus: but we are taught not to make a difference between us and others : so let´s make ourselves smile as well (!) ... ;-)

Wol Euler: were you expecting parades with elephants, and only got a few butterflies?

oO0Oo Resident: :)

Wol Euler: (I don't know why that image came up, I hate parades, think them a total waste of time)

Bertram Jacobus: ··..•♥•··..☺ SaTiA ☺ ..··•♥•..··

Bertram Jacobus: says she likes butterflies more then elephants ;o)

Wol Euler: well yes :)

Bertram Jacobus: but the picture you gave were very nice she says also :-)

eggsalad Ormstein: well, it felt shallow and selfish, instead of good

Wol Euler nods thoughtfully

oO0Oo Resident waves to Satia :)

eggsalad Ormstein: because I was only doing it to make ME feel better

Wol Euler: aaaaah

Bertram Jacobus: ··..•♥•··..☺ SaTiA ☺ ..··•♥•..··

Bertram Jacobus: rewinks :-)

Wol Euler: yeah, most sages agree that that doesn't work :)

Bertram Jacobus: rewaves sry - that before was germanglish :o)

Wol Euler: that satisfaction and fulfilment are usually found as byproducts of something entirely different

--BELL--

oO0Oo Resident: mangle the germanglish

Bertram Jacobus: but helping always is better then hurting (!) -

Bertram Jacobus: oops - sry - again ! :o)

oO0Oo Resident: saw this quote today

oO0Oo Resident: “In rivers, the water that you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes; so with present time.” ~Leonardo da Vinci

Wol Euler nods.

Wol Euler: we talk about that often here, Egg, whether actions can ever be truly altruistic

Wol Euler: or whether our joy or pride or happiness in doing them perhaps lessens their value

Bertram Jacobus: i repeat : helping always is better then hurting

Wol Euler: agreed!

eggsalad Ormstein: what about doing neither?

Bertram Jacobus: not possible

Wol Euler: I infer that you are trying that, and that it isn't working -- since you still hurt?

eggsalad Ormstein: mostly that was over yesterday

eggsalad Ormstein: I talk to some sad people on SL, and it seems to cheer them up

Wol Euler smiles.

eggsalad Ormstein: some people find me pleasant to chat with

Wol Euler: that's a good and worthy thing, I would say

eggsalad Ormstein: so it fixes the problem for a while

Wol Euler: and consider this: if they experience a cheering-up, a bettering -- then what does your motivation matter?

eggsalad Ormstein: right, but SL is on my terms

Wol Euler: you did help, focus on that

Wol Euler: and you want to be able to extend that outside of SL?

eggsalad Ormstein: no, I can be my selfish self in SL

Wol Euler frowns. I'm confused, can you expand on that a little?

eggsalad Ormstein: if I don;t want to help, I can just logoff

Wol Euler: ah, I see

Wol Euler: logging out of RL is harder

Wol Euler: but there are ways to do that too: TV, alcohol, sex-tourism ...

eggsalad Ormstein: and I don't do any of those :)

Bertram Jacobus: but with all that you´re still in life

Wol Euler grins.

eggsalad Ormstein: have you heard of isolation chambers?

Wol Euler: mmhmm

oO0Oo Resident nods

eggsalad Ormstein: with the salty water that you float in?

oO0Oo Resident: sensory deprevation tanks?

eggsalad Ormstein: yes, that's the word! thanks, it wouldn't come to me

eggsalad Ormstein: er, phrase

Wol Euler: sounds like a mini-hell to me frankly, but that's my problem

Wol Euler: I have trouble enough going into some deep subway stations :)

eggsalad Ormstein: and to me, it sounds like a fantastic escape

Wol Euler: ha :)

Wol Euler: have you tried it?

Wol Euler: perhaps you should.

eggsalad Ormstein: yes, I wanted to look into building one

oO0Oo Resident: you may be able to buy a KIT

Wol Euler: wouldn't it be better to try one out first? :)

Wol Euler: take a week and go on a retreat to some place with one

eggsalad Ormstein: either way, I couldn't find one until Bert just gave me the right words!!

Wol Euler: true :))

--BELL--

Bertram Jacobus: i like those tanks

Wol Euler: tell us about them?

eggsalad Ormstein: you have one?

Bertram Jacobus: find them enourmous relaxin

Bertram Jacobus: no - i twice was at places where you can be in it

eggsalad Ormstein: I should google to see if there is such a place local to me

Wol Euler: yeah :)

Wol Euler: it would really surprise me if there weren't, Egg.

Wol Euler: so many people pass through Vegas, for so many reasons ...

eggsalad Ormstein: yes, already found one at a yoga place :)

Wol Euler: ha! Book yourself in!

oO0Oo Resident: :)

Wol Euler: and come back and tell us all

eggsalad Ormstein: humph, they are closed

Wol Euler: :(

Bertram Jacobus: sadly it´s not cheap ... mostly ...

Bertram Jacobus: but i agree : you´re in las vegas ? there should be something like that ...

eggsalad Ormstein: striking out thus far

Wol Euler: I'm really surprised

Wol Euler: I'd have expected every major hotel to offer that as part of its "wellness" package

Wol Euler: the things one learns about one's expectations :)

Bertram Jacobus: "floating tank" may be a good search term ...

eggsalad Ormstein: so far, no luck

Bertram Jacobus: hmmm ...

Wol Euler: huh

eggsalad Ormstein: no, all links point to that yoga place, that is now closed :(

oO0Oo Resident: Sadly.. I must fly... but happily, I was with you all. :)

Wol Euler: bye sam, fly well

Wol Euler: take care

eggsalad Ormstein: bye sam

oO0Oo Resident: best wishes.. and may everyone be happy and have the seeds of happiness

Bertram Jacobus: bye sam ...

oO0Oo Resident: when that is possible

oO0Oo Resident: :)

Wol Euler: :)

Bertram Jacobus: it´s a nice wish and thought ...

Bertram Jacobus: okay - so i´ll leave too now ...

Bertram Jacobus: ty for the talk and the community !

eggsalad Ormstein: bye bert, thanks for the help

Wol Euler: bye bert, take care, and hugs to satia

Bertram Jacobus: ty ... :-)

Bertram Jacobus: ··..•♥•··..☺ SaTiA ☺ ..··•♥•..··

Bertram Jacobus: says : hugs back :-)

--BELL--

Wol Euler: :)

eggsalad Ormstein: it's a great outfit, wol

Wol Euler: thank you :) it's new, i just discovered the store

Wol Euler: there's an opaque version too :)

eggsalad Ormstein: sort of see-through, but not

eggsalad Ormstein: do you have a lm for that store?

Wol Euler: sure, just a mo

eggsalad Ormstein: thanks!

Wol Euler: yw

eggsalad Ormstein: if you don't mind, I'll be off now to check it out

eggsalad Ormstein: always good to see you

eggsalad Ormstein: be well

Wol Euler: take care, egg

Wol Euler: I hope you find a purpose, or at least peace of mind without it

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