2011.10.03 13:00 - Dark Night of the Soul...and Cookies

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Agatha Macbeth. The comments are by Agatha Macbeth.  I arrived just in time to greet a new visitor....


    Riddle Sideways: Hi Breeezer
    Breezer Tomsen: hello riddle
    Breezer Tomsen: can I sit down ? :-)
    Riddle Sideways: Breezer, have you been to this place before?
    Riddle Sideways: Hi Aggers
    Breezer Tomsen: no never been here before...
    Agatha Macbeth: Hello Rid :)
    Breezer Tomsen: hi aggers
    Riddle Sideways: Aggers are you GoC today?
    Agatha Macbeth: One moment Breezer, I'll give you a notecard about us
    Agatha Macbeth: Yes :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Didn't expect anyone to be here yet
    Riddle Sideways: oh, this little box behind me has it
    Agatha Macbeth: Yes, I think so
    Riddle Sideways: we record the chat sessions here for our wiki pages
    FcSeeker Resident: Hello all
    FcSeeker Resident: Aggers Breezer Riddle
    Agatha Macbeth: Breezer, we record our sessions...may we have your permission for your words to be recorded?
    Riddle Sideways: is that ok to include your comments Breezer
    Agatha Macbeth: Hello dear FC :)
    Riddle Sideways: ha, we both wrote
    Breezer Tomsen: that fine riddle, no problemo
    Agatha Macbeth: Better two than none Rid!
    Riddle Sideways: Hi Fc
    Agatha Macbeth: Thank you and welcome :)
    Riddle Sideways: good, what shall we chat about
    Agatha Macbeth: Are you back home yet Rid?
    Riddle Sideways: yep, got back home from that retreat
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah, right
    Riddle Sideways: catching up on emails and messages
    Agatha Macbeth: Bet everyone had a great time
    Riddle Sideways: what a wonderful week
    Agatha Macbeth: Yes, I can imagine
    Agatha Macbeth: Especially you and Storm playing guitars :p
    Riddle Sideways: getting to know the RL Maxine, Susan, Aph, Luci (Cinda)
    Riddle Sideways: and Storm too :)
    Agatha Macbeth nods
    Agatha Macbeth: Hopefully, there will be a theme session on it...
    Riddle Sideways: both all those hippy folk-rock songs
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah, would have loved that!
    Riddle Sideways: we did work up a little something
    Agatha Macbeth: I'll bet
    Agatha Macbeth: Any interesting explorations?
    Riddle Sideways: a little work, but could be a great theme session
    Agatha Macbeth nods
    Agatha Macbeth: Indeed
    Riddle Sideways: Aph, is a great artist that can take our explorations and words and draw them on paper
    Agatha Macbeth: Oh wow
    Agatha Macbeth: I didn't know that
    Agatha Macbeth: Maybe she will post some of them
    Riddle Sideways: on a long butcher paper roll
    Agatha Macbeth: On a *what* ? [giggles]
    Riddle Sideways: one section cut out of the middle, but still aboout 14 feet long
    Agatha Macbeth: Good heavens
    Agatha Macbeth: What does a butcher use that for exactly?
    Riddle Sideways: probably will not publish it, cause it has some personal stuff
    Agatha Macbeth: Aww
    Riddle Sideways: but that would be hard to understand
    Agatha Macbeth: She could always edit it :)
    Riddle Sideways: maybe
    Agatha Macbeth smiles
    Agatha Macbeth: We must prod her a little...
    Riddle Sideways: Mt. Rainer was in the distance
    Agatha Macbeth strokes FC's head
    Riddle Sideways: and the weather kept changing
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah yes...
    Agatha Macbeth: Kenneth Arnold and all that
    Riddle Sideways: so first there was a mountain
    Riddle Sideways: then there was no mountain
    Riddle Sideways: then there was
    Agatha Macbeth: No UFOs I take it?
    Riddle Sideways: - old Donovan song
    Agatha Macbeth: I know :p
    Riddle Sideways: unless you count Storm
    Agatha Macbeth: I'm not exactly a kid you know HA!
    Agatha Macbeth: If only
    Riddle Sideways: Santo was there for one night
    Agatha Macbeth: Only one?
    FcSeeker Resident: lol
    Riddle Sideways: only one
    Agatha Macbeth: How come?
    Riddle Sideways: san had been traveling at start of retreat
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah
    Agatha Macbeth: Your guitar playing didn't put her off then? :DDD
    Riddle Sideways: kept asking about fc but San would not say
    Agatha Macbeth: We all know he's a cutie :)
    Riddle Sideways: made San stand on her head
    Agatha Macbeth: OMG
    Agatha Macbeth: Did all the loose change drop out?
    Riddle Sideways: lol
    Riddle Sideways: actually did not play guitar while San was there
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah
    Agatha Macbeth: I think Luci enjoyed herself
    Riddle Sideways: just looked out the window and Santo was head standing next doors
    Agatha Macbeth smiles
    Riddle Sideways: Cinda seemed to enjoy
    Riddle Sideways: She lead a dream workshop
    Agatha Macbeth: Luci did?
    Riddle Sideways: and did astro charts for everybody
    Agatha Macbeth: Ooh
    Agatha Macbeth: Western or Eastern?
    Riddle Sideways: Maxine was so funny
    Riddle Sideways: western
    Agatha Macbeth: she is
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah, ty
    Agatha Macbeth: Wonder where everyone is tonight?
    Riddle Sideways: hiding
    Agatha Macbeth: We usually have a full circle at this time

    Breezer had been sitting quietly all this time.  Now he steered the conversation in a whole other direction....
    Breezer Tomsen: Can I share something with you, or ask a question ?
    Riddle Sideways: of course
    Agatha Macbeth: Please do Breezer
    Breezer Tomsen: ok thank you
    Breezer Tomsen: let me first tell me something about myself
    Agatha Macbeth: Ok
    Breezer Tomsen: I am dutch 32 years,
    Breezer Tomsen: busy with nonduality and stuff now for around 12 years... but I am sick of it now :-)
    Agatha Macbeth smiles
    Riddle Sideways: :)
    Breezer Tomsen: actually I don't have a question, got to the point where I see I can't do anything anymore
    FcSeeker Resident: understand
    Breezer Tomsen: but I still suffer, very tired and exausted
    Breezer Tomsen: some days are good and there where some openings few weeks ago
    Breezer Tomsen: but most of the time I am just doing nothing
    Breezer Tomsen: don't like to watch tv, seems like I lost all of my interests and now also the interest for nonduality
    Breezer Tomsen: it looks like al I can do is wait, or do nothing...
    FcSeeker Resident: maybe that is because this world is dual...
    Breezer Tomsen: I heard about a thing called dark night of the soul, did anyone heard about that?
    FcSeeker Resident: meaning both; SL and RL
    Agatha Macbeth: I have heard of it, yes
    Breezer Tomsen: ok, I feels like I am in it, somethimes for a few weeks it hits me and then after a while I feel better, but then it comes back again
    Breezer Tomsen: I almost smoke 2 packages of cigarettes a day now ...:-)
    Riddle Sideways: wow
    Agatha Macbeth: Oh dear
    Breezer Tomsen: What do you think about the waiting thing? do I have to wait , It sure feel like I can't do anything...?
    FcSeeker Resident: what would you wait for ?
    Riddle Sideways: waiting takes a lot of patience and always seems it is not coming
    FcSeeker Resident: hi Korel
    Agatha Macbeth: Osiyo Korel :)
    Riddle Sideways: is there a way to be calm and stillness in the waiting
    Korel Laloix: heya
    Breezer Tomsen: good question, I think I am waiting for the silence, I had a silence period before
    Riddle Sideways: Hi Korel
    Breezer Tomsen: hi korel
    Korel Laloix: Heya
    Riddle Sideways: Korel, thanks for the beautiful poem in the exhibition hall
    Agatha Macbeth smiles
    FcSeeker Resident: do you mean the silence in which there is 'everything' ?
    Riddle Sideways: or the silence where there is peace
    Breezer Tomsen: yes, few weeks ago 'I' had the experience 'I' was gone, it felt silent and very light, now its gone again (well it looks like its gone...)
    FcSeeker Resident: when you shine for that kind of silence, you are great light, and great light 'calls' darkness...sorrows and fears and pains from other people who knows you or are phycically near...both ways; other souls see you better and come to get help...
    Riddle Sideways: Korel, it was a sad and anger producing and action motivating poem.
    Korel Laloix: You are welome.
    Korel Laloix: It was what I felt at the time.
    Agatha Macbeth: It sounds like you have come to the right place if you are talking about 'dropping the I' Breezer :)
    Korel Laloix: There is a part two that is not realy a poem... if you want to see that.
    Agatha Macbeth nods to Korel (wado :)
    Riddle Sideways: yes please
    Riddle Sideways: Breezer, silence is hidden by noise
    Breezer Tomsen: yes aggers, but I can't drop it I see, I sometimes pray to set me free and I try to accepts thing, be quiet and silence
    Riddle Sideways: (taht is a stupid thing to day]
    Riddle Sideways: I meant my comment
    Breezer Tomsen: I a way I feel like there is some surrender but it is not complete yet
    FcSeeker Resident: <3
    Riddle Sideways: yes
    Agatha Macbeth: I don't think it was silly Rid
    Breezer Tomsen: somewhere inside I know you folks can't help me, but sometimes it feels nice to talk to someone about this stuff I guess
    Riddle Sideways: it sure does
    Agatha Macbeth: Yes Breezer, agreed
    FcSeeker Resident: <3<3<3
    Korel Laloix: Finding the right person or people is tricky.
    Agatha Macbeth: There are always more questions than answers
    Breezer Tomsen: and new answers lead to new questions, and there you go again :-)
    Agatha Macbeth nods
    Riddle Sideways: personally have dropped the "I" for a few months now. It helps see with 'eyes' not 'I'
    Agatha Macbeth: Indeed :)
    Korel Laloix: I went though several counselors before I found someone that could really work with me.
    Agatha Macbeth: Nice, Rid :))
    FcSeeker Resident: that is also that there are answers that are true to many different kind of questions
    FcSeeker Resident: and imo the most urgent 
    FcSeeker Resident: 'key' answer is that 'the medicine is love'
    Agatha Macbeth smiles and hugs FC
    FcSeeker Resident: one is said also in the bible;
    Breezer Tomsen: yes fc, very true
    FcSeeker Resident: the truth shall release you
    FcSeeker Resident: not meaning to preach at all; no...I'm not religious to any religion...
    Breezer Tomsen: I also feel that there is a lot of builded up tension inside over all those years (had 5 psychoses and been in hospital for mentally ill) , I would like to cry but somehow I can't, I have the feeling that it will al be released , but when I don't know...
    FcSeeker Resident: if love is not religion
    Agatha Macbeth smiles @ FC
    Agatha Macbeth: Sorry to hear that Breezer...
    Breezer Tomsen: yes it's sadd, but it is my way so in someway I feel fine with it
    FcSeeker Resident: <3<3<3
    Breezer Tomsen: whatever must happen happens...
    Agatha Macbeth: That's good :)
    Agatha Macbeth: As someone I know always says 'It's all perfect' :)
    FcSeeker Resident: imho you have choosen very great lessons to your this life...
    FcSeeker Resident: and the most urgent thing I think that you truly have learned; that you dont blaim anything or other people of what you are now going through <3<3<3<3
    Agatha Macbeth: <3
    Riddle Sideways: Hi Kavi and Alf
    Agatha Macbeth: Hiya
    Breezer Tomsen: hi kavi
    Agatha Macbeth: Alf why do you always turn up at the end of the session? :ppp
    FcSeeker Resident: hi Kavi
    Kavi01 Resident: hello gang
    Kavi01 Resident: hows every1 2day
    Agatha Macbeth: Hello Kavi
    Kavi01 Resident: just came in briefly to accept pema's friendship invite
    Riddle Sideways: maybe Alfs clocks are off by half hour
    Agatha Macbeth: Crayzeee dog!
    FcSeeker Resident: ...looking around for alf....
    Agatha Macbeth: He's hiding behind a pillar
    Alfred Kelberry: hi :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Hello Mr Pup :)
    FcSeeker Resident: ah
    FcSeeker Resident: now I see you alf
    Agatha Macbeth: We see you Boxy!
    Alfred Kelberry: got carried away, came in late :)

    We assault Boxy's nose vigorously...
    Alfred Kelberry: thank you all for the nose fondness :)
    Kavi01 Resident: ok have 2 go now c ya soon i hope
    Alfred Kelberry: go well
    FcSeeker Resident: waves
    Agatha Macbeth: Ok, thx for the flying visit!
    Riddle Sideways: bye kav
    Kavi01 Resident: lol flying indeed
    Kavi01 Resident: :)
    Alfred Kelberry: what's new?
    Kavi01 Resident: dont come along as much lately
    Agatha Macbeth: Aww
    Agatha Macbeth: Well, we all do what we can :)
    Riddle Sideways: hopefully
    Agatha Macbeth grins @ Rid
    Agatha Macbeth: Looks like Wol must be working overtime again :(
    Alfred Kelberry: good for her
    Riddle Sideways: Wol wrote something about a BIG project
    Agatha Macbeth: Ooh
    Agatha Macbeth: SL or RL?
    Riddle Sideways: think RL
    Agatha Macbeth: Ah
    Alfred Kelberry: i think they're about to deploy some stuff
    Agatha Macbeth: Thought for a moment she was going to finally get her Kira workshop off the ground
    Alfred Kelberry: yes, that would be nice
    Agatha Macbeth: Mm
    Alfred Kelberry: i actually forgot about it :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Sadly seems she can't find the time :(
    Agatha Macbeth: atm
    Alfred Kelberry: now going to nag her. thanks, aga :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Yeh, me too!
    Alfred Kelberry: or time can't find her
    Agatha Macbeth: Could be
    Riddle Sideways: the time cops are looking for you for wasting it so much
    Alfred Kelberry: we should make ourselves available to time, otherwise it slips away
    Agatha Macbeth: The Watch dog :)
    Alfred Kelberry: um... time of being or something...
    Riddle Sideways: please take care all, must leave for now
    Alfred Kelberry: cute elephant :)
    Breezer Tomsen: by riddle
    Agatha Macbeth: Bye Rid, be careful out there
    Alfred Kelberry: *sips tea*
    Alfred Kelberry: kori, you like oatmeal cookies?
    Agatha Macbeth: Elephant ???
    FcSeeker Resident: waves
    Korel Laloix: Not realy.
    Alfred Kelberry: aga... forgot again?
    Korel Laloix: Cookes have to have chocolate in them or they are not proper.
    Agatha Macbeth: Yep, looks like it
    Alfred Kelberry: kori, but... but... they're almost like choco ones!
    Korel Laloix: Oh heck no.
    Agatha Macbeth grins
    Korel Laloix: Now if you can make a chocolate oatmeal cookie... that would be OK.
    Agatha Macbeth: I'm still waiting for you to script your tail, you lazy pup :p
    Alfred Kelberry: you go ahead and touch my nose :P
    Agatha Macbeth: I do!
    Korel Laloix: Chocolate covered chocolate cookies are even better.
    Alfred Kelberry: kori, i like to think that you have some cookies in you :)
    Alfred Kelberry: choco ones
    Agatha Macbeth: Or chocolate covered chocolate?
    Alfred Kelberry: recursive cookies?
    Korel Laloix: I really can't do much cookies... I think it is the butter in them that I can't take.
    Agatha Macbeth: They don't do one's heart a lot of good
    Agatha Macbeth: Muchos cholesterol
    Alfred Kelberry: aga, how's your cookie-fu? can you cook them?
    Agatha Macbeth: To be honest, never tried Alf
    Alfred Kelberry: oh nooes!
    Alfred Kelberry: must. try. :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Oh yesses :p
    Alfred Kelberry: i think woly makes nice cookies
    Agatha Macbeth: And eats them too, no doubt :pp
    Alfred Kelberry: that's why cookies are being cooked :)
    Korel Laloix: I really prefer fresh frybread with walnuts and flavored honey.
    Agatha Macbeth: Wow
    Alfred Kelberry: ah, good one, kori
    Korel Laloix: That is our standard junkfood.
    Agatha Macbeth: Indeed
    Alfred Kelberry: funkjood
    Agatha Macbeth: I like cheese on toast a lot
    Alfred Kelberry: heh
    Korel Laloix: I am way lactose intollerent so I really don't do cheese much either.
    Agatha Macbeth: Aw, shame
    Alfred Kelberry: are there lactose free cows?
    Alfred Kelberry: would be neat
    Korel Laloix: There are genetic engineers working on that I have read.
    Agatha Macbeth: Wouldn't surprise me Korel
    Agatha Macbeth: Give it time
    Agatha Macbeth: Well, I'm afraid I must run along and leave you with the recorder now...
    Korel Laloix: Ciao
    FcSeeker Resident: waves
    Breezer Tomsen: ok aggers, bye thank you :-)
    Agatha Macbeth: Breezer, I hope we were some help to you :)
    Agatha Macbeth: Please feel free to come again
    Breezer Tomsen: ok thanks again aggers, have fun! see you around..
    Agatha Macbeth: Bye for now, take care
    Alfred Kelberry: boots girl
    Alfred Kelberry: fc panda
    Agatha Macbeth pokes Alf
    Alfred Kelberry: :)
    Alfred Kelberry: wuff!
    Alfred Kelberry: ok, me back to work
    FcSeeker Resident: namaste
    Alfred Kelberry: you rest well
    Korel Laloix: Take care.
    Korel Laloix: I am off as well... thanks for the chat all.
    Breezer Tomsen: bye korel

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