2011.11.27 19:00 - Considering Sangha

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Calvino Rabeni. The comments are by Calvino Rabeni.

    Lucinda Lavender: hi san
    Santoshima Resident: hi luci :)
    Santoshima Resident: quiet here
    Lucinda Lavender: yes
    Santoshima Resident: ok if i join you?
    Lucinda Lavender: how are you today?
    Lucinda Lavender: yes:)
    Santoshima Resident: quite ok, thanks
    Santoshima Resident: you?
    Lucinda Lavender: I have had an interesting day
    Santoshima Resident: ok
    Santoshima Resident: yes?
    Lucinda Lavender: I have been working on my ancestry tree
    Santoshima Resident: ahh
    Lucinda Lavender: and had a friend who could help me
    Lucinda Lavender: found some people from long ago today
    Lucinda Lavender: from scotland
    Santoshima Resident: hmm
    Santoshima Resident: did you know about that line of the family?
    Lucinda Lavender: an interesting search since with computers one can get to some stories that were written down by others..no I did not knows much about my fathers side...
    Lucinda Lavender: they are the ones from scotland
    Santoshima Resident: ah, did you find much about them?
    Lucinda Lavender: hey cal!
    Santoshima Resident: hey Cal :)
    Lucinda Lavender: only a tiny bit
    Lucinda Lavender: I claimed for you ...
    Santoshima Resident: enough to further the search?
    Calvino Rabeni: Hello ! Thanks
    Lucinda Lavender: yes...I found that after I looked at the geneological information available in the county they lived in...more was forthcoming
    Lucinda Lavender: all sitting in the kitchen
    Santoshima Resident: amazing
    Lucinda Lavender: the friend I was working with had relatives 60 miles from mine
    Lucinda Lavender: hi Aph
    Lucinda Lavender: how are cal and aph?
    Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Cinda, San, Cal
    Santoshima Resident: hi aph :)
    Aphrodite Macbain: nice group tonight
    Santoshima Resident: we are talking about luci's research into family tree
    Aphrodite Macbain: what have I missed?
    Santoshima Resident: and finding a brach
    Santoshima Resident: branch
    Aphrodite Macbain: OH! a fascinating activity
    Lucinda Lavender: I was just talking about doing a listtle family history research
    Aphrodite Macbain: I've done the same thing and have now put it on the web for everyone to add to
    Lucinda Lavender: nice:)
    Aphrodite Macbain: what program are u using?
    Santoshima Resident: what program do you use for that Aph?
    Lucinda Lavender: ancestry.com
    Aphrodite Macbain: My heritage
    Aphrodite Macbain: It's all those neices and nephews that are so hard to control -along with the second cousins
    Lucinda Lavender: nodding:)
    Aphrodite Macbain: Susan - this that you!?
    Lucinda Lavender: HI Susan:)
    Calvino Rabeni: Hi Susan
    Calvino Rabeni: Long time :)
    Susan Aloix: Hey :) hi aphro...lucinda..cal
    Santoshima Resident: hi Susan, good to meet you
    Susan Aloix: yeah been forever
    Susan Aloix: Hi san
    Santoshima Resident: hi

    Aphrodite Macbain: What have you been up to?
    Susan Aloix: Working mostly Aphro.....hardly any time to come to SL
    Susan Aloix: opps
    Susan Aloix: Nice to meet you too san
    Susan Aloix: yeah thats fine san re. image
    Santoshima Resident: ty
    Lucinda Lavender: I I missed the guardian meeting today...
    Lucinda Lavender: are there any updates...'
    Santoshima Resident: me too
    Santoshima Resident: it's posted on the wiki
    Aphrodite Macbain: so did I Luci - I slept till 9AM
    Lucinda Lavender: ok...will read
    Santoshima Resident: fine day to sleep in
    Aphrodite Macbain: sounded like a good meeting
    Lucinda Lavender: good
    Santoshima Resident: livelier when fewer people
    Lucinda Lavender: mostlikely
    Santoshima Resident: talk about "topics"
    Lucinda Lavender: ah
    Lucinda Lavender: shall we think of a topic for now?
    Santoshima Resident: :) sure, luci
    Aphrodite Macbain: Hmmm
    Lucinda Lavender: cal...ideas?
    Calvino Rabeni me looks innocent :)
    Aphrodite Macbain: How about the concept of the sangha? we can begin to explore it here?
    Calvino Rabeni: sure
    Calvino Rabeni: that sounds like a topic with a lot of substance
    Lucinda Lavender: that is something I have not been in exactly...but I am game
    Susan Aloix: listens
    Santoshima Resident: ok
    Lucinda Lavender: Luci starts by thinking...what is the song of the sangha?
    Aphrodite Macbain: I can just say that I believe I am part of a sangha-a supportive community - when I am with Pabbers
    Susan Aloix: Sangha (Pali: सन्घ saṅgha; Sanskrit: संघ saṃgha; Wylie: 'dus sde) is a word in Pali or Sanskrit that can be translated roughly as "association" or "assembly," "company" or "community" with common goal, vision or purpose. Sangha is the third of the Three Jewels in Buddhism.
    Susan Aloix: (wiki)
    Santoshima Resident: what do you mean, luci?
    Aphrodite Macbain: supportive community
    Lucinda Lavender: I am just playing...
    Aphrodite Macbain: sing us the song of the sangha Luci
    Aphrodite Macbain turns on her sound
    Lucinda Lavender: I was just noticing the sang/song sound
    Santoshima Resident: sang a songa
    Aphrodite Macbain: sing sang song
    Aphrodite Macbain: thanks susan
    Lucinda Lavender: assembling for common practice?
    Aphrodite Macbain: community - but a community that teaches and supports one's practice and learning
    Aphrodite Macbain: like your choir Luci
    Lucinda Lavender: and also my dream circle
    Susan Aloix: nods....is all for supporting the learning process
    Lucinda Lavender: is there usually a leader?
    Aphrodite Macbain: tho I feel inadequate in teaching much
    Aphrodite Macbain: I guess there is usually a teacher
    Aphrodite Macbain: a principal teacher
    Lucinda Lavender: ah
    Santoshima Resident: why do you guess that, Aph?
    Santoshima Resident: is that true for you?
    Aphrodite Macbain: I have noticed that most groups that follow a practice has some form of teacher or guru
    Susan Aloix: I just got back from a retreat with others.......i think leaders emerge from a group.....dont need to start with one...
    Aphrodite Macbain: My yoga practice is informed by my teacher
    Aphrodite Macbain: but I can be a disciple
    Santoshima Resident: and that person's practice is infomed by his/her teacher(s)
    Santoshima Resident: it's a living tradition
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes- a lineage of teachers
    Calvino Rabeni: People seem to need some authority (institution or ritual) to allow them to feel like their mutual helping relationships are legitimate ... in a way they like / need that support, or maybe permission, to engage in help / growth / support activities with other people
    Calvino Rabeni: so all the sangha like group relationships are in a way "branded"
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes- it provides a structure as well as a motivation or purpose

    Calvino Rabeni: but, it sets up a lot of dependence of people on their groups and institutions
    Aphrodite Macbain loves looking at all the avis typing away
    Santoshima Resident: shh
    Santoshima Resident: like, parental figures, Cal?
    Aphrodite Macbain: driven by respect rather than obligation - ideally
    Calvino Rabeni: Perhaps so San
    Calvino Rabeni: In the culture now there are so many people interested in spiritual growth, and they go in and out of different groups, and perhaps are members of multiple groups at once
    Aphrodite Macbain: testing and tasting
    Lucinda Lavender: that has been true for me...Cal
    Lucinda Lavender: well sort of
    Calvino Rabeni: then there are spiritual friendships, a kind of sangha-of-two
    Aphrodite Macbain: can 2 people form a sangha?
    Lucinda Lavender: dream circle is leaderless tho
    Santoshima Resident: yes
    Santoshima Resident: absolutely
    Calvino Rabeni: Why not, Aph?  If two people have an understanding and commitment to support and practice
    Aphrodite Macbain: thought it was a community - which to me implies a multiplicity of people
    Lucinda Lavender: bye Susan hope you come back
    Santoshima Resident: bye Susan, thanks for coming by
    Calvino Rabeni: Its becoming much more possible for any small group to negotiate that kind of agreement / understanding
    Aphrodite Macbain: I would call the other person a teacher rather than a sangha
    Calvino Rabeni: (figures Susan crashed / will return soon)
    Calvino Rabeni: I think there are all varieties of different intentional helping / learning / support relationships amd groups
    Calvino Rabeni: and in the big picture that's what gives resilience to a culture
    Aphrodite Macbain: I find that there is greater stability within a larger group
    Santoshima Resident: greater stability in what way, Aph?
    Santoshima Resident: for myself, I prefer small groups
    Aphrodite Macbain: hmmm
    Santoshima Resident: it comes down to personal preference
    Santoshima Resident: and inclination
    Calvino Rabeni: In the Christian community there is a concept of service also, even without any evangelical intention
    Aphrodite Macbain: a group of two can change quite quickly; a group of more than three changes less quickly since here are more people to change
    Lucinda Lavender: welcome back susan
    Susan Aloix: ty lucinda
    Santoshima Resident: wb, susan
    Susan Aloix: ty san :)
    Calvino Rabeni: I agree, a personal preference and inclination is important, but I suspect there is social-level knowledge at work too, about the very possibilities of such relationships
    Santoshima Resident: possibly
    Calvino Rabeni: WB Susan :)
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes Cal. WB Susan
    Susan Aloix: ty cal :)
    Susan Aloix: :) aphro :)
    Lucinda Lavender: thinking of how getting brave enough to join is onething...and then how to maintain the connection to a group...
    Aphrodite Macbain: maintining the connection is the hard work for me
    Lucinda Lavender: ah
    Lucinda Lavender: I have been on both ends recentlly
    Aphrodite Macbain: to sustain an interest
    Aphrodite Macbain: and find a relevance
    Calvino Rabeni: For instance sometimes a lot goes on in salons and barber shops .. people who work there are in a unique position with their community ... they can be of great help, without the need (and maybe advantage?) of being designated as the purveyor of a tradition or philosophy
    Lucinda Lavender: when there is a container...that is strong it seems easier to be honest there
    Lucinda Lavender: to trust
    Aphrodite Macbain: Perhaps it's the container- that allows people within it to feel safe , feel relevant, and get stimulated
    Santoshima Resident: for sure, people who are entrusted with the physical nurturing of others, the tradition is embedded in the role, cal
    Calvino Rabeni: nods, the salon is a different kind of container than the temple
    Santoshima Resident: almost the same
    Santoshima Resident: ritual that is shared
    Santoshima Resident: and understood
    Santoshima Resident: expected
    Santoshima Resident: certain social "dialects" that are beyond words
    Aphrodite Macbain: Newfoundland pubs are like that! Everone knows you. There's alot going on.
    Calvino Rabeni: yes

    Aphrodite Macbain: and there is an underlying ritual for belonging'
    Aphrodite Macbain: Gotta go - another sangha calls!
    Calvino Rabeni: I find it a little different in small towns ... the town itself is a bigger container that echoes the smaller ones in it ..
    Calvino Rabeni: Bye Aph
    Susan Aloix: bye aphro :)
    Santoshima Resident: so long, Aph
    Lucinda Lavender: see you later aph
    Santoshima Resident: Luci, want to say more about connection ...
    Lucinda Lavender: hmmyes
    Lucinda Lavender: well I guess I have sometimes thought I was ready for a commitment and then changed my mind
    Lucinda Lavender: that is kind of confusing
    Santoshima Resident: where is the confusion?
    Lucinda Lavender: but going to a deep level in person with others seems better than from a distance
    Lucinda Lavender: for me
    Lucinda Lavender: unless you spend a lot of time communicating with each other to build the connection I guess
    Lucinda Lavender: I sorry to talk so much...it is just on my mind
    Lucinda Lavender: building connections that seem real with others takes time
    Calvino Rabeni: not at all, Cinda
    Lucinda Lavender: and work
    Calvino Rabeni: yes it is
    Lucinda Lavender: relationship requires connection and time...
    Calvino Rabeni: true
    Lucinda Lavender: sometimes a child will be removed from a classroom at school...then you have to sort that out
    Lucinda Lavender: what could I have done as a teacher...? etc
    Calvino Rabeni: There's been a parallel inquiry in the business world for a long time, about how to build intelligent organizations ...there the main container was the corporation, rather than a religion or philosophy .. And it became one of the ways that spiritual ideas were imported into the world of the corporation.  One developer in that world decided that what the groups actually needed most was better, deeper, more trusting one-on-one relationships. 
    Lucinda Lavender: !
    Lucinda Lavender: I believe that...
    Calvino Rabeni: It's a safety and support for the people involved ... since business affiliations can come and go.
    Santoshima Resident: that is really an interesting shift
    Claire Maskelyne: Hello, everyone. ^-^/
    Santoshima Resident: hey Claire, glad you could come
    Calvino Rabeni: In a way any group / organization can be a sangha-like community of practice
    Claire Maskelyne: How so, Calvino?
    Lucinda Lavender: we have some in our classrooms that ask for lots of attention...some who do not...I think for me being attentive equally makes for a safer place...
    Calvino Rabeni: like the child care community or any other, if the people in it have supporting relationships that go beyond,  and deeper than just getting the job done
    Calvino Rabeni: but I think it could start there
    Lucinda Lavender: it takes lots of discerment when look at a group

    Lucinda Lavender: typing and erasing
    Lucinda Lavender: many thoughts
    Calvino Rabeni nods
    Lucinda Lavender: So is Pab a Sangha?
    Calvino Rabeni: Not officially ... but with a broad definition of sangha it has some characteristics of one
    Calvino Rabeni: so I'd like to say yes
    Santoshima Resident: sure
    Lucinda Lavender: I don't mean to sound dramatic with the question..only thinking in what ways is it like one?
    Lucinda Lavender: I feel connection with many people here...
    Lucinda Lavender: certain practices are being worked on...
    Calvino Rabeni: there's a certain understanding of how people may speak ... and the fact that things are ongoing / repeating means it may support intentions that take time to develop
    Santoshima Resident: the idea of "sangha" provides an understanding that we are not separate
    Santoshima Resident: that there in interconnection
    Santoshima Resident: between people
    Santoshima Resident: and animals, even
    Santoshima Resident: plants
    Lucinda Lavender: everthing bring energy in to the mix?
    Lucinda Lavender: even the things we are mainly caring for as does Luci:)
    Calvino Rabeni: we're more interconnected than we realize, more I'd say than we are capable of being conscious of
    Claire Maskelyne: I'd like to throw something in here...
    Claire Maskelyne: Is it odd that I mostly feel more connected to animals?

    Calvino Rabeni: Animals put us in touch with very basic connection truth, without the confusions that sometimes come with human relationships
    Susan Aloix: other warm blooded animals are incredibly emotional and accessible...it makes a lot of sense youre connected to them (what cal said)
    Claire Maskelyne: Yes, but it's not just them.
    Claire Maskelyne: I feel that their needs are easier to read and address.
    Claire Maskelyne: They're definitely capable of dishonesty, but it serves them more often to be honest with the humans they're connected to.
    Claire Maskelyne: And I don't feel quite so helpless when trying to tackle their needs.
    Susan Aloix: nods....
    Susan Aloix: makes sense
    Calvino Rabeni: I was thinking about the animal therapists, like the Dog Whisperer, who work with the not-so-easy animal relationships
    Lucinda Lavender: interesting...
    Calvino Rabeni: yes,  as humans we have a great deal in common with all mammals, as emotional beings
    Claire Maskelyne: It's not just warm-blooded ones for me.
    Claire Maskelyne: I can be reasonably certain that a spider stuck in my bathtub and trying to climb the side is distressed, and I can (probably) help it by sticking it outside on the balcony.
    Santoshima Resident: sounds like the silverfish that get rescued from the tub over here
    Santoshima Resident: catch and release of the young rats brought in by the cats
    Calvino Rabeni: that's a great ability, to relate empathically to many life forms
    Susan Aloix: brb
    Claire Maskelyne: It's scary to want to relate to insects, I admit... many of them, or most, lead very violent lives.
    Claire Maskelyne: At least by our standards.
    Claire Maskelyne: Spiders are a little easier to read, because of the human connection with tarantulas, and the knowledge that certain cave spiders live in family groups for some time.
    Claire Maskelyne: Oh, and scorpions. They're pretty easy to read, too.
    Lucinda Lavender: family groups...wow!
    Lucinda Lavender: i did not know that.
    Calvino Rabeni: I think it's interesting how much social concepts are getting into the way people understand animals
    Calvino Rabeni: or even plants and bacteria
    Calvino Rabeni: groups of plants behave favorably to their "siblings" for instance
    Calvino Rabeni: and bacteria pass information and learn from their groups
    Calvino Rabeni: and use the knowledge of others in their groups

    Claire Maskelyne: I know... but I don't like the exclusionary way people read it.
    Claire Maskelyne: Like, that we and other creatures grow closer to family groups and communities only to exclude and be hostile to those outside them.
    Claire Maskelyne: As if the bonds of kinship depended more on genes than proximity and trust.
    Lucinda Lavender: Fascinating topics...I must go for now...get ready for another week. Thanks and good night to all:)
    Claire Maskelyne: Good night, Lucinda. :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Good night Cinda
    Susan Aloix: night cinda
    Calvino Rabeni: Hmm, bacterial "sangha" ...? maybe that's stretching it, but social intelligence seems nearly universal in living creatures
    Santoshima Resident: typed that, too, then erased: bacterial sangha
    Calvino Rabeni: heh
    Santoshima Resident: our teachers: the stars, minerals, creatures seen and unseen
    Claire Maskelyne: Why are they our teachers?
    Santoshima Resident: luck of the draw
    Santoshima Resident: dunno
    Calvino Rabeni: I think a teacher can be anything one decides to learn from and accord some respect
    Santoshima Resident: yes, i agree, Cal ~ and often unexpected
    Calvino Rabeni: It reminds me of Emerson's poem "The Apology" about reading the Book of Nature

    I go to the God of the Wood ... to fetch his word to Men
    There was never Mystery, but, 'tis figured in the flowers
    No secret History, but birds tell it, in the bowers

    Santoshima Resident: great
    Calvino Rabeni: The metaphor of reading a book has been a good way for the intellectual mind to get more connected with many things
    Calvino Rabeni: it's helpful, though a little indirect

    Santoshima Resident: saw a quite lovely film last night titled: Poetry that I recommend
    Claire Maskelyne: A film?
    Santoshima Resident: from Korea
    Claire Maskelyne: That's an odd title.
    Santoshima Resident: very gentle, and slow paced
    Santoshima Resident: very different sensibility that NA films, even indie
    Santoshima Resident: i enjoyed it quite a lot
    Santoshima Resident: Poetry, an odd title?
    Claire Maskelyne: Yes, I like more serene movies.
    Santoshima Resident: oops, sorry to write in the 90 sec break ...
    Paradise Tennant: hiya luci cal san claire :) everyone is up late :)
    Santoshima Resident: hiya Paradise :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Good evening Paradise :)
    Santoshima Resident: wb Luci :)
    Lucinda Lavender: I was off doing dishes and forgot to quit:)
    Lucinda Lavender: Hi Paradise
    Paradise Tennant: smiles how is everone tonight :)
    Santoshima Resident: really well, Para ~ how are you?
    Lucinda Lavender: pretty good..
    Calvino Rabeni: Adjusting to the winter rains Para ... they've been steady
    Paradise Tennant: smiles staying up late not wanting it to me Monday already :)

    Editor's Note: One thing a sangha does is to provide a protected space for discussing topics of a personal or sensitive nature.  This is similar to the confidentiality assumption surrounding talks with a friend, doctor, counselor, or clergyman.  The following part of the session fit that pattern, in my opinion.  I was in a quandary for a while about how to reconcile the sometimes conflicting needs of reporting and disclosure that this involves.  Should I post it verbatim?  Omit it entirely?  Post an edited version?  After speaking with several people I decided to follow a middle way and provide an edited version that offers some confidentiality by way of anonymity. 

    -- Start of the Cloak of Confidentiality --

    Q:  I've been rather depressed lately. I think I might have seasonal affective disorder, or maybe it's due to changing circumstances in my life.  But I just can't feel hopeful, or happy.  I'm having trouble eating and sleeping, I can't be creative, I feel lonely all the time, and yet somehow I'm scared to associate with people. And I wake up crying in the morning, longing for home.  And lately it's just like all the color, or even any sense of security, has gone out of the world. I just feel scared and miserable. And I'm not quite sure what to do. I realize that, perhaps, there may be more issues to tackle than I have the strength to possibly do at this point. Everything just feels WRONG. It seems to happen so often in my life.  I'm not just unhappy now, I'm deathly scared that I'll be like this at some other time in the future. And I just don't feel like I could live through that.

    A: An honest answer!
    Nodding.. in appreciation of that.
    Anything you want to share? .. sometimes helps talking a bit :)
    I think everyone has been there at some point .. a time when everything just felt wrong and the colour has drained out of life .. all bleakness
    Does what my mom would do .. goes to put the kettle on and make you tea ...

    A:  Do you write at all?  I have tried the idea of writing 3 pages every morning at some parts of her life( giant plain placemats work well) and write anything that comes to mind...other parts of the brain begin to sort issues out and put them in perspective ...a sense of containment starts up as well..

    Q:  I don't feel very creative these days.  Diaries depress me more, by fixing the feeling in my memory.

    A:  Containment is a good word temporary is another good word great times past the darkest hours do too
    I know what it is like to feel overwhelmed...a person who is open on many levels myself has had to learn how to manage how much I will look at at a time...
    In my experience ... Some of the times it's loneliness, sometimes solitude, and I like that solitude has a tradition of respect and depth.

    Q:  I feel like it needs something other than writing, though.  Something that really scares me lately is coming to terms with my issues of trust and security.  Because, deep down, I honestly don't feel that I can trust much of anyone. I literally cannot make myself believe that the person I talked to ten seconds ago will not forget me forever. And I certainly don't trust in the future, or myself.

    A: Hands a cup of fragrant green tea in a puppy mug
    Offers a biscuit and some apple slices

    Q:  But it's a really serious issue, and I've only started to realize it lately. I just can't feel secure about anything.

    A:  Difficult, yes.
    It is serious, but, it's a very human and maybe universal thing to encounter
    The sad reality of life is that it is terrifying.  There is no security one moment to the next
    I feel the rememberance of being in my 20's...and how that was the hardest...walking through a city was like being in a bad dream (everyone must know each other and I do not belong...so alone feeling)
    Remembers and offers a hand to hold

    Q:  But how does it ever end?  How can we ever feel complete and secure, and that someone can catch us when we fall?

    A:  You find your calm centre .. and relax .. you are complete just as you are ..sometimes that path can be rough ..lonely .. painful .. coming to know that .. is a life long process .. we learn forget learn again
    I like the writer John O'Donohue who wrote a book on Belonging ... it's not a make-it-better book, but more like finding dignity and compassion in life's deeper experiences.  I suppose though, I hedge my bets, not looking for a single kind of answer.  Looking for meaning, on the one end ... on the other end, it's been really worthwhile, I found, to cultivate a few good friendships.

    Q:  Yes, that's what I want.  But finding the right people right now is tough.

    A:  Do you have a dog ? a cat ? a pet of some sort .. they can be an amazing comfort in times of distress ?
    I miss the cat I used to have in my last house ... a good / quiet companion (who sometimes did surprising things)
    I find, personally, the darkening weather does affect my mood, though I hope to let myself relax into the season... and I work at holding my ruminations lightly, or at least kindly
    I think pain suffering .. and that paniced terror that sometimes comes with uncertainty loss loneliness .. are wonderful teachers they make you stronger .. and are part of a natural process .. they almost seem necessary they are so prevailing to our species ..
    Yes, would that I had more of that courage to face them.  And the prevalence of this experience... has it been one of the prices that have been paid for freedom?
    It takes courage to see what it takes to care of our selves sometimes
    I find I notice the circle pattern more in life .. it just goes round ..at your darkest hour .. you are starting back up .. at your brighest moment you are going to be going down
    finding the calm center...is about containing the flow of hormones sometimes... I had to learn how to eat enough, sleep enough, meditate, walk... those things helped me to regulate a bit... not become out of balance.  If I would start breathing differently I could start an anxiety attack... had to read up on it...and know that it would dissipate in 20 minutes or so
    Meditation helps a lot.
    Good sleep, exercise .. supports more emotional resiliency.
    There is a wonderful series of talks by Gil Frondsdale http://www.audiodharma.org/teacher/1/
    Changing how one sits, sitting more upright can be revolutionary in it's effect..having a full and easy breath can alter mood very much.
    We are holistic creatures ... which means lots of things help a little ... and nothing alone can make a huge difference... But, they add up.
    Having some small dependable pleasures. 

    Q:  But for me, making the right connections has become essential in life... finding the right people to suport me in supporting myself.  The scary part is learning to trust.

    A:  I agree about the importance of trust.  It's a central thing.   I think there are ways to sneak up on it.
    I've found long walks with the dogs listening to music .. helps .. particularly recommend kd lang's hymns of the 49th parallel... a great cd to listen to when you are hurting.
    It is very brave of you to share your feelings. I'm glad you're doing so.

    -- End of the Cloak of Confidentiality --


    Bertrum: Although I have to leave now, I've taken heart in your strength and in your trust in sharing.
    Calvino Rabeni: :)
    Lucinda Lavender: :)
    Paradise Tennant: nite bertrum namaste
    Santoshima Resident: bye bertrum ~
    Paradise Tennant: sigh I should go too .. 1 am here ... and my alarm will go off in a what will seem a blink :)
    Lucinda Lavender: sleep well
    Calvino Rabeni: Take care Paradise
    Santoshima Resident: thanks, Paradise ~ good night
    Lucinda Lavender: I should move myself along as well...
    Calvino Rabeni:
    Santoshima Resident: nite, luci ~ rest well
    Calvino Rabeni:
    Calvino Rabeni: :)
    Lucinda Lavender: sending best wishes for sleep and rest tonight...
    Claire Maskelyne: Thank you. :)
    Calvino Rabeni: I will take leave too
    Calvino Rabeni: Good night, Claire and Santo
    Santoshima Resident: thank you both, goodnight
    Calvino Rabeni: Thanks :)
    Claire Maskelyne: Good night, Calvino, and good night, San.
    Claire Maskelyne: Please be well.
    Santoshima Resident: g'night Claire
    Santoshima Resident: peaceful night to you
    Claire Maskelyne: And you, too. ^-^

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