2012.11.13 13:00 - Complicated seems to be more my fashion statement.

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Korel Laloix. The lack of comments is by Korel Laloix.


    Korel Laloix: Heya.. smiles
    Xirana Oximoxi: hello Kori! :)
    Korel Laloix: Thanks for sitting close...
    Xirana Oximoxi: well....it's always better close:)...if the company is good, of course:)
    Korel Laloix: I think most people her bathe, but people still sit far apart.. smiles
    Korel Laloix: Not sure why that is.... or why I like sitting close in here.. makes sense in some strange way I suppose.
    Xirana Oximoxi: for me too:)
    Xirana Oximoxi: I also like when there are few people and the circle is smaller
    Korel Laloix: THat can be nice as well.
    Korel Laloix: I guess when I want to be around people, I want them close.
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes:)
    Korel Laloix: But when I want to be alone I want them far far away.
    Xirana Oximoxi: here we can chose too
    Korel Laloix: Heya
    arabella Ella: Hallo!
    Xirana Oximoxi: but probably it makes less sense...
    Xirana Oximoxi: hallo arabella:)
    arabella Ella: still rather quiet here this evening!
    Korel Laloix: We had a bath this month... we promiss... smiles
    arabella Ella: but nic eto see you both
    arabella Ella: he he
    Korel Laloix: Think a lot of people are a bit PaBinged out from the retreat.
    Xirana Oximoxi: ty, nice to see you too:)
    arabella Ella: only sat here as this was only cushion that rezzed
    Korel Laloix: Oh OK... we don't feel so hurt then... smiles
    arabella Ella: was there a retreat? inworld?
    arabella Ella: i am not very up to date
    Xirana Oximoxi: hehe:) yes:)
    arabella Ella: not enough time for myself!
    Korel Laloix: Yes, over the long weekend.
    arabella Ella: did either of you attend?
    Korel Laloix: Would have liked to.. but my GF's parents were in town... so that was a bit more of a priority.
    Xirana Oximoxi: I've seen Eliza has sent a link to the wiki to explain about the retreat, but have not read it
    arabella Ella: ah ok i see
    Xirana Oximoxi: I have not, I don't practice meditation... maybe if I keep coming here at the end I will:)
    arabella Ella: he he maybe y9ou will!
    Korel Laloix: I meditate when I run... that is it.
    arabella Ella: i meditate when i drive
    arabella Ella: or walk
    arabella Ella: or sit watching a view
    Xirana Oximoxi: I think they don't be too silent:)) ..or at least that's what I have understood when on Monday they talked about their experience
    Korel Laloix: Being out on the bike is good to free and focus the mind as well.
    arabella Ella: nods
    Xirana Oximoxi: I meditate when the dogs 'walk' me:))...but maybe it's not similar
    arabella Ella: big dogs Xir?
    Xirana Oximoxi: middle size:)
    Xirana Oximoxi: and mixed race:)
    arabella Ella: nice
    arabella Ella: mixed race i find are the best
    arabella Ella: where dogs are conercend
    arabella Ella: sorry aout typos
    arabella Ella: am multitasking
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: clever girl:)
    arabella Ella: nooooooo
    arabella Ella: wish my life could be more simple
    Korel Laloix: That would be nice for sure.
    Korel Laloix: But maybe not.
    Xirana Oximoxi: I find so difficult to follow different conversations when more tha one IM windows opens:)
    Korel Laloix: Complicated seems to be more my fashion statement.
    arabella Ella: yes i try - but it is always difficult to find the right work - life balance
    arabella Ella: either too much work or too much leisure which could make life boring (a rare occasion !)
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes...sometimes we can not choose and the balance is a dream:)
    Korel Laloix: Shall I claim this one?
    Xirana Oximoxi: good Kori:))
    arabella Ella: yes Kori that would be nice
    arabella Ella: personally i dont think we cnnot choose on the contrary
    Korel Laloix: Ok.. just say somethinv ery profound now so I ahve a title.. smiles
    Xirana Oximoxi: hahahaha
    arabella Ella: i think it is fear of boredom which may take some ppl take on too many projects
    Xirana Oximoxi: (was it enough profound??? :))
    Korel Laloix smiles
    Korel Laloix: A good start.
    arabella Ella smiles
    Korel Laloix: I am horrible about overcommiting myself.
    arabella Ella: ok here comes my attempt at profound (drumroll ... )
    Korel Laloix listened intently
    Xirana Oximoxi: thtat can be, but also...I understand it the other way....wanting to do a lot of things and not enough time
    arabella Ella: what do you think has held this community together for nearly 5 years now?
    arabella Ella: so many communities here die a natural death - but this one has been sustained for many years now - why? how?
    Xirana Oximoxi: I have thought a little about it.... but not sure if I have the answer
    Korel Laloix: Well, I would say a mixture of three things... smiles
    Korel Laloix: A solid core of steady folks.
    Korel Laloix: Flexibility.
    arabella Ella: i would love to hear the inutitions of both of you on this topic please
    Korel Laloix: And a continuous flow of new people.
    Xirana Oximoxi: we are all very very different, but in my view.... we are able to listen and the differences are not a problem
    arabella Ella: true ... but ... (always a but ...)
    arabella Ella: what is it that keeps a solid core of steady folks from coming here on a regular basis?
    Xirana Oximoxi: maybe we enjoy each othere's company and have not the same facility to find it in RL
    arabella Ella: yes maybe
    arabella Ella: i mean there is no one right answer of course but a stream of different perceptions
    arabella Ella: but i find the way this community has been sustained over time amazing and incredible
    arabella Ella: also the way people regularly volunteer to take on various tasks and carry them out with no supervision
    Korel Laloix: THis offers a particular form of company I can't find RL... my social life is a bit much a lot of the time, but this is different.
    arabella Ella: only a little bit of peer pressure to complete tasks at times
    arabella Ella: (if that is the right language to use)
    Korel Laloix: I think so.
    Korel Laloix: brb
    arabella Ella: quite a few people have come and gone and when new people visit i sometimes wonder whether they are the old ones with a new avi
    Xirana Oximoxi: there are also different 'small' groups sharing their interests ...bt , here is open to all
    arabella Ella nods
    Xirana Oximoxi: ah yes...I must confess I still don't know exactly who is who in email, different avis....
    arabella Ella: he he
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    arabella Ella: quite a few of the regulars admit to having alts
    arabella Ella: and as it is flexible some may be on an 'off' mode at the moment
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes....of course:)...the iones I meet more oft I know:)
    Korel Laloix: Back
    Xirana Oximoxi: you can put the question in a different way to find a possible answer:)...what makes you still come to meet the people of the group here:)...for exemple:)
    arabella Ella: Actually I did Xir - and I dont have a satisfactory answer - that is why I ask you
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)ok:)
    Korel Laloix: Probably lots of different answers.
    arabella Ella: yes
    arabella Ella: many
    Xirana Oximoxi: I find that tehre is not one answer
    Korel Laloix: All being wrong of course.. smiles
    Xirana Oximoxi: ahhh yes, kori:)
    Korel Laloix: At least we are wrong together...
    arabella Ella: @Kori - all being right of course :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: I meant, not only one answwr
    Korel Laloix smiles
    arabella Ella: there are no wrong answers - only perceptions or deceptions (arabella ella)
    Xirana Oximoxi: ara....what relations do you link between 'perceptions' and 'deceptions'?
    arabella Ella: for me deception involves the motivation to manipulate others for devious reasons
    arabella Ella: perception is one's take on an issue, situation or whatever, from an individual subjective human perspective or point of cview
    Xirana Oximoxi: aha...thanks...sometimes I understand words in a different way, to talk about 'deception' id I translate it to Spanish may mean to be deceived in one's expectatives
    Xirana Oximoxi: if I translate
    arabella Ella: i suppose it could be extended to mean that but it is not what i meant
    Korel Laloix: I have similar issues sometimes.
    arabella Ella: a person may deceive another or be deceived by another
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes:)
    Korel Laloix: Or a person can deceive herself.
    Xirana Oximoxi: time to time, if I reread the chats we have here I discover meanings I was not aware when 'live chat' :)...anyway, since I come her I have improved a lot
    arabella Ella: yes i suppose so - can you think of examples Kori?
    arabella Ella: is English not your first language Xir?
    Xirana Oximoxi: no, Ara, I am Catalan:)
    Korel Laloix: People with addictions fool themselves.
    arabella Ella: ah ok i see - I love visiting Catalunia!
    Xirana Oximoxi: First lanuga Catalan, second language , Spanish:)
    Korel Laloix: People in bad relationships do as well.
    arabella Ella: I would accept your example of relationships Kori - not so much the addiction example though!
    arabella Ella: i have mixed feelings about addictions
    Korel Laloix: I lied to myself quite a lot when I was quitting smoking... but that might just be me.
    Xirana Oximoxi: (Ara, if you come to Catalunya, you tell me:)
    arabella Ella: Oh I certainly will Xir!
    Xirana Oximoxi: :)
    arabella Ella: did you successfully manage to quit smoking Kori? How?
    Korel Laloix: It took me years.. but I did quit.
    Korel Laloix: First I had to want to quit.
    Xirana Oximoxi: I did too.....after two tries
    Korel Laloix: Then it was kicking the menthol.
    Korel Laloix: Then the social aspects of it.
    Korel Laloix: Then the actual nicotine..
    arabella Ella: yes - a very difficult process!
    Korel Laloix: But my big motivation was quitting when my mom could not...
    Korel Laloix: So was a very externally focused action.
    arabella Ella: oh yes!
    arabella Ella: but very difficult nevertheless!
    Xirana Oximoxi: I mean that after a year non smoking I was tempted to smoke a cigarrette thinking it was all controled...and it was not
    arabella Ella: i think that one needs very strong motivation to attempt to quit any addiction
    Xirana Oximoxi: so...next time I deciced to stop I have never more smoked
    arabella Ella: and i also think some people may have a sort of 'addiction prone' gene so there is IMHHO more 'nature' than 'nurture' in the whole process
    arabella Ella: that's just my take on it
    arabella Ella: well done Xir!
    Korel Laloix: Research suggests culture as a third major factor.
    arabella Ella: really?
    arabella Ella: how would culture be defined in that context Kori?
    Mickorod Renard: hallooo
    arabella Ella: Hiya Micko!
    Korel Laloix: Social aspects.
    Xirana Oximoxi: I have no idea about it Ara...it was a personal decision because I was aware of how bad it was for health
    arabella Ella nods
    Korel Laloix: Pressure to do certain things.
    arabella Ella: yes
    Korel Laloix: Family context and cultural symbolism and familiarity.
    Xirana Oximoxi: hello Mik! :)
    Mickorod Renard: hiya
    arabella Ella: maybe also contexts in which the habit and the temptation are more pronounced?
    arabella Ella: like when mixing with friends or family who are also addicted - a bit like 'peer pressure'?
    Korel Laloix: Yes.
    Korel Laloix: Had to stay away from clubs for a year after...
    arabella Ella: or when packets of cigarettes that belong to others are lying around the place together with the tempting smell ...
    arabella Ella: Mick we are having some profound thoughts!
    arabella Ella: for Kori's log
    Mickorod Renard: that sounds fun
    arabella Ella: on addiction at the moment
    arabella Ella: and quitting
    Xirana Oximoxi: I have a frienfd that always tells me that I induced her to smoke...she still smokes and I don't...so, I always tell her that if I have so much power on her she must quit it too:)
    arabella Ella: well i recently found a web site that sends me emails each day - using a very clever system - i think it is called i coach - maybe you could recommend it to your friend Xiri?
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes...kori will have quite interesting and profound topics to choose
    arabella Ella nods
    Xirana Oximoxi: hi San:)
    Santoshima Resident: :) hi
    Mickorod Renard: mm i did without a smoke recently for about 10 days,,it wasnt until I returned home that I craved again,,and shortly after had to take up smoking
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes Ara, could you give the link, please?
    arabella Ella: what do you mean by 'had to' Mick?
    arabella Ella: give me a moment i will try to find the link
    Mickorod Renard: had to for my sanity
    arabella Ella: just hope i dont crash if i do i will come back
    Xirana Oximoxi: yes....no hurry:)
    arabella Ella: here it is found it - and by the way it is free - you could try it too mick
    arabella Ella: http://www.stopsmokingcoach.eu/home....egistertab-tab
    Xirana Oximoxi: thank you:) I will send o her:)
    arabella Ella: it starts after you register with a questionnaire to assess your dependency on smoking
    arabella Ella: then it places you at a level and sends you appropriate emails each day
    Mickorod Renard: also I have become superstitious in that I feel if i pack in smoking ,,while I am in control,,then shit happens which is like a lil demon to make me smoke again,,so the best option to avoid the problem is stay smoking
    arabella Ella: and it does not make you quit from day one but only when the time is right
    Santoshima Resident: well "shit" will happen whether you smoke or not
    Santoshima Resident: just sayin
    arabella Ella: it first prepares you to change your lifestyle then gets you to choose an appropriate and feasible date but the tactics communicated are very interesting!
    arabella Ella: Hiya San!
    Santoshima Resident: hiya Arabella :)
    Korel Laloix: I know exactlyt the feeling.
    Mickorod Renard: but it doesnt appear so bad when you have a smoke
    arabella Ella: And yes Mick the shit will happen smoke or no smoke!
    Santoshima Resident: that is called numbing out, mick,
    Korel Laloix: When you are quiting, it tempts fate to f%^& with you.
    arabella Ella: Mick believe me subscribe to this site - it works!
    Xirana Oximoxi: what was very important for me, when quiting smoking, was to have a 'box' of cigarettes always at hand...
    Mickorod Renard: I darnt, it will attract s''t
    Mickorod Renard: yes, thats a good point Xir
    arabella Ella: if I have cigarettes at hand i will fall into temptation!
    Xirana Oximoxi: not when you have taken the decission to qquit:)
    Santoshima Resident: magnetic field-like, mick?
    Mickorod Renard: I can go all evening without a smoke,,but if i realise i havnt got any I have to go out and buy some
    Xirana Oximoxi: exactly...that happened to me too Mick
    Santoshima Resident: what about nicotine patches?
    arabella Ella: i find nicotine patches work for me but they dont seem to work for everyone and they are uncomfortable in hot temperatures
    Santoshima Resident: hmm, they stick by some gluey stuff?
    Xirana Oximoxi: I've never tried patches or other methods
    arabella Ella: like sticking plaster
    Santoshima Resident: yoiks
    Mickorod Renard: I had the will power once,,but my tolerance of others reaches a low, and then that creates disharmony,,and then the cycle begins
    arabella Ella: which then leaves a sticky mark on your skin
    Santoshima Resident: oh, well, stay clear of others during the initial withdrawal
    Santoshima Resident: it's a tough one
    Mickorod Renard: he he
    arabella Ella: it is
    Korel Laloix: OK.. back to RL.. thanks for the chat.
    Santoshima Resident: bye korel, cheers
    arabella Ella: i find it best to either eat or drink something when i have the urge
    arabella Ella: bye Kori thanks!
    Mickorod Renard: bye Kori
    arabella Ella: eating or drinking raises my blood sugar level and makes me feel less vulnerable somehow
    Xirana Oximoxi: bye bye Kori! I also go now...have a nice time all:)
    Mickorod Renard: bye Xir
    arabella Ella: bye Xirana nice to chat with you!
    Korel Laloix: Ciao
    Santoshima Resident: bye Xir, nice to see you :)
    Xirana Oximoxi: bye bye:)
    Mickorod Renard: yes ara,,but reaching for another crutch is not the direction I wud prefer
    Mickorod Renard: I need the strength and resolve to do it cold
    arabella Ella: i must go now good night everyone!
    Mickorod Renard: nite nite Ara
    Santoshima Resident: good night, Arabella, take good care
    Santoshima Resident: i'll head out too
    Santoshima Resident: see ya
    Santoshima Resident: bye
    Mickorod Renard: bye san

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