2013.06.09 19:00 - Family

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Calvino Rabeni. The comments are by Calvino Rabeni.

    Calvino Rabeni: Hiya Korel !
    Calvino Rabeni: Hi Ewan :)
    Calvino Rabeni: What's new in you-ville?
    Korel Laloix: Had a good chat with one of my step-sisters that I have never really talked with before.
    Korel Laloix: So that was great.

    Calvino Rabeni: Yes it must be :)
    Korel Laloix: Awkward at first, but getting better.
    Calvino Rabeni: It must be a big thing to have a large family ... I've often wondered what it would be like
    Korel Laloix: I am still sort of figuring that out.
    Korel Laloix: Trying to create familial relationships with no history is sort of painful I am finding out.
    Korel Laloix: Interesting profile map Cal... the one about the heart.
    Korel Laloix smiles
    Calvino Rabeni: My entire extended family could sit on my bed.
    Korel Laloix: Oh wow.
    Korel Laloix: Before i found my father, I was the same way...
    Calvino Rabeni: that must have been an amazing change
    Korel Laloix: Not as much as you would think... still developing.
    Korel Laloix: Was sort of anticlimactic really.
    Calvino Rabeni: But led to many doors opening later?
    Korel Laloix: Still a work in progress.
    Korel Laloix: I mean, most people would not know how to act if someone told them they had a 26 year old daughter they did not know about.
    Calvino Rabeni: Trying to imagine that ... yes, especially if I had no others (!)
    Calvino Rabeni: Wonders how that went
    Korel Laloix: It was bizarre and a bit surreal.
    Korel Laloix: And I had a really long standing resentment against him until I figured out the situation.
    Calvino Rabeni: nods, there are movies about this kind of meeting, so I guess people are interested in it
    Calvino Rabeni: ah that is good
    Ewan Bonham: I think the forgiveness is something that we hav to come to..
    Calvino Rabeni: nods
    Ewan Bonham: Itis part of the spiritual journey..
    Korel Laloix: True... and I know that.

    Calvino Rabeni: those stories are more often seen frm the child 's eyes
    Ewan Bonham: I am afraid I will have to go now... Thanks for the rest and friendship...:)
    Korel Laloix: Ciao
    Calvino Rabeni: Bye Ewan
    Korel Laloix: I started some special pages in my journal to record all this stuff in.. so I would not have to search back if i wanted to reread.
    Calvino Rabeni: that sounds like a good idea
    Korel Laloix: Helps me to collect my thoughts at least.
    Korel Laloix: i sort of had these ideas or maybe daydreams about what it would be like to have a parent that actually cared about me.
    Calvino Rabeni: collect and focus ... many times I feel those thoughts get away from me
    Korel Laloix: And that is what I got.. but building the relationships is new grounds for us both.
    Calvino Rabeni: that is ... did you find it in part? ... oh that is great
    Calvino Rabeni: I feel like it takes outside aid
    Korel Laloix: Yes.. he does care about me.. but as we live aways apart, and just the weirdness of the situation, it is taking time.
    Calvino Rabeni: starting to think I should visite mine.
    Korel Laloix: I have on a couple of occasions...but mostly just holiday weekend dinners.
    Korel Laloix: But now that I have a half sister going to the same college as Reeba, this will be good I think.
    Calvino Rabeni: Not much one to one opportunity?
    Korel Laloix: Not really.
    Korel Laloix: But he is trying.. and his wife is trying as well... she was the first from that family I dealt with...
    Calvino Rabeni: Was she more like a bridge or a door?
    Calvino Rabeni: Hope it was a positive start

    Korel Laloix: Well... when my aunts and Reeba's mom were tracking him down, they set up a a meeting with her... and she agreed as she thought I was a fraud and was going to just tell me off.
    Calvino Rabeni: :(
    Korel Laloix: But... evidently, when I walked into that dinner she looked at me and realized I looked more like her husband than her own kids did... so she made herself change her thoughts.
    Korel Laloix: And when we layed everything out for her we could tell she was very upset.
    Korel Laloix: And I would be too.. I understand that.
    Calvino Rabeni: But she admitted she could see it .. yes it would be a shock
    Korel Laloix: But when we layed the timeline out for her, she softened quite a bit.
    Korel Laloix: I was born well before they were married.
    Calvino Rabeni: I can imagine so
    Calvino Rabeni: timeline would help quite a bit
    Korel Laloix: And he really did not know I was alive, so he could not have told her about me.
    Calvino Rabeni: Big surprise for him too .. and there is also good your aunts helped with the search
    Korel Laloix: So maybe you wish you did not have a big family after hearing all of this... smiles
    Calvino Rabeni: Ummm gulp
    Korel Laloix: It took them a hard year of trying with gf's mother's help...
    Calvino Rabeni: think I still would choose it
    Korel Laloix: Sometimes I do wish I had a more stable life.. but I do like what I have now.
    Korel Laloix: Osiyo San.
    Santoshima Resident: Osiyo
    Calvino Rabeni: Osiyo san
    Korel Laloix: Good to see you.
    Santoshima Resident: likewise good to see you both
    Santoshima Resident: sorry to be so late
    Korel Laloix: No worries.. we were just talking about advance family drama.
    Calvino Rabeni: Good to see you too ... not sure I can stay past the hour .. have something in the kitchen to deal with
    Santoshima Resident: np, i'm only here for a minute or two
    Korel Laloix: That sounds tasty... what you are making us?.. smiles
    Santoshima Resident: tea calls
    Calvino Rabeni: um, a rafe non-vegetarian meal ..
    Korel Laloix: rafe?
    Calvino Rabeni: with free range beef
    Korel Laloix: Oh lovely.
    Calvino Rabeni: i meant rare (typo)
    Korel Laloix: Sounds good to me.
    Korel Laloix: OH Ok.
    Santoshima Resident: ok, happy cooking.
    Calvino Rabeni: told someone it was labeled "grass fed beef" and they said, "well what else to they eat?" -- not impressed
    Korel Laloix: so do you mean a not frequent even or very undercooked?
    Calvino Rabeni: Hi Cinda :)
    Calvino Rabeni: i mean not frequent
    Santoshima Resident: hello cinda
    Calvino Rabeni: (wondered if you would ask)
    Korel Laloix: I have to say I did not know much about ranch works until I met Reeba..
    Korel Laloix: But it is interesting for sure.
    Korel Laloix: Osiyo Luci
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes
    Lucinda Lavender: Hello Friends
    Calvino Rabeni: Hi Paradise
    Paradise Tennant: hiya cal korel san luci :))
    Santoshima Resident: hello paradise
    Lucinda Lavender: Having a little trouble settling in
    Lucinda Lavender: came late but at least to say hello

    Korel Laloix: Well good to see you.
    Lucinda Lavender: :))
    Calvino Rabeni: Cinda I went for a 3 hour walk down by the marshes with a mutual friend and his poodle
    Lucinda Lavender: :))
    Lucinda Lavender: I bet I know who you speak of...
    Paradise Tennant: nice nothing like a good poodle with a poddle
    Lucinda Lavender: I:))
    Calvino Rabeni: Graduation party for his daughter
    Lucinda Lavender: I missed it due to car troubles
    Calvino Rabeni: Poodle with a puddle
    Calvino Rabeni: (or a whole lake)
    Lucinda Lavender: I hope you had fun!
    Calvino Rabeni: Poodle with a PhD
    Calvino Rabeni: (for a dog)
    Lucinda Lavender: smart then...
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, fun, perfect day for it
    Lucinda Lavender: I have had a problem with my van...
    Lucinda Lavender: cannot get out of reverse
    Lucinda Lavender: unless I turn the whole car off
    Paradise Tennant: that makes it awkward
    Lucinda Lavender: yes..
    Lucinda Lavender: i am learning to deal with it till the fixing is complete
    Korel Laloix: That is strange.
    Santoshima Resident: awkward but interesting
    Lucinda Lavender: may be the master or slave cylinder
    Lucinda Lavender: interesting names
    Lucinda Lavender: what has your topic been tonight?
    Korel Laloix: I guess we were talking about family drama... and starting relationships from nothing.
    Lucinda Lavender: nodding
    Paradise Tennant: always think the relationships are already there
    Paradise Tennant: it is just a process of uncovering them
    Paradise Tennant: smiles
    Paradise Tennant: nite nite cal
    Calvino Rabeni: Need to go .. unfortunately .. dinner awaits .. fortunately :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Good seeing you all
    Calvino Rabeni: bye for now
    Lucinda Lavender: have a nice dinner..
    Korel Laloix: CIao.
    Santoshima Resident: bye Cal, good to see you
    Korel Laloix: Well, in the case we were chatting about, I did not find my father till earlier this year, having never met him beofre.
    Korel Laloix: So it was starting from nothing really.
    Korel Laloix: But I have to go as well.
    Korel Laloix: Thanks for the company all.
    Korel Laloix: Ciao
    Lucinda Lavender: have a good night Korel
    Paradise Tennant: nite nite korel sweet dreams
    Korel Laloix smiles.. thanks



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