E. The Adams Rubble story, continued

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    For this interview, I met Adams Rubble at St. Catherine's Monastery. It is not only one of the most
    lovingly-crafted and detailed spots in Second Life, but a place of deep personal resonance, as you will hear.

    Adams Rubble: You look marvelous :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Thank you :) You are rezzing for me...
    Adams Rubble: I am trying :)
    Eliza Madrigal grins
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh, very nice... timeless :)
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: shall we go to church?
    Eliza Madrigal: yes :)


    Eastern Orthodox liturgical music in the background adds to a feeling of standing on holy ground, and we step inside to kneel at the altar.

    Adams Rubble: Thank you for meeting me here. This is one place I always can come when I need spiritual renewal
    Eliza Madrigal: I can certainly understand why
    Adams Rubble: Maybe we should step outside and begin :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) If you like
    Adams Rubble: I am ready :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Such an inspiring environment...
    Adams Rubble: yes, I love this build. It is rough but the real monastery is rough
    Adams Rubble: It was built in the 6c and has survived in the midst of Islam in the middle of the desert
    Eliza Madrigal: yes
    Adams Rubble: I think it captures the spirit of the real place

                 


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    Eliza Madrigal: Okay, let's take a breath and settle in :)
    Adams Rubble: ahhhhhh
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: First, I am very pleased to sit down for this interview with you, Adams.
    Adams Rubble: Thank you for doing this Eliza :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I am honored :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Your writing for The Chronicles, and the way that you have shared your experiences openly and from the heart is something I have found comforting and inspiring, to say the least.
    Adams Rubble: Thank you Eliza. I have found your experience inspiring as well
    Eliza Madrigal: It is also true, that you have become a dear friend. :)
    Adams Rubble: thank you. You too :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Okay then, Let's begin!
    Adams Rubble: I am ready

    Eliza Madrigal: The last personal entry you made to The Chronicles was in March, 2009, when you shared three very distinct visions which opened up, you feel, due to conversations and explorations within Play as Being?                                        
    Adams Rubble: At the time of each Pema advised me to take them lightly, not to dwell on them. It was good advice.
    Adams Rubble: Still they were important to me at the time
    Eliza Madrigal nods, quite remarkable. 
    Adams Rubble: I think they confirmed something
    Eliza Madrigal: Confirmed?
    Adams Rubble: Maybe that I was beginning to reopen
    Eliza Madrigal: That is interesting. What do you mean when you say "re" open?


    A Calling

    Adams Rubble: I once felt that I had a calling from God. At the time I felt very open to God and felt that I could use Him as a resource
    Adams Rubble: It of course was the Faith of childhood
    Adams Rubble: when I began to doubt that faith which I thought was everything it all fell apart for me
    Adams Rubble: and I went for many years in the proverbial desert
    Adams Rubble: The visions in a way were a sign that there was life in the old spiritual part of me after all :)
    Eliza Madrigal: So this was a true crisis of faith for you? Do you see it that way?
    Adams Rubble: Yes no one was there to tell me that Faith was not the answer. It was there in St. Paul but I was raised as a Lutheran and Luther said that we are justified by Faith
    Adams Rubble: but Paul also said that Love was the most important thing
    Adams Rubble: No one of my spiritual advisers at the time knew enough to say don't worry about this
    Adams Rubble: that there might be more
    Adams Rubble: so I put aside the calling


    And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


    Eliza Madrigal: I see, but I am sure it informed your life in other ways?
    Adams Rubble: Pema suggested it was brought me to PaB :)
    Eliza Madrigal smiles. Then I thank The Calling :)
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: Thank God :)
    Eliza Madrigal: So when faith falls to the side, or seems to, did Love also fall to the side?
    Adams Rubble: Oh my, what an interesting question
    Adams Rubble: In some ways yes but I think it goes deeper
    Adams Rubble: I was not able to reach out and use Love as a resource
    Adams Rubble: This begins to tie in with everything and this can get very complicated
    Adams Rubble: and goes all the way to Being and timelessness
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: What I am hearing you say is that faith had been a paradigm for you... a real way of seeing.
    Adams Rubble: In a way I allowed myself to fall into a certain blind state
    Adams Rubble: I lost all connection to Being, to God
    Adams Rubble: I relied upon myself only
    Eliza Madrigal nods. I see. Wow
    Adams Rubble: and my family members :)
    Eliza Madrigal: And was it stumbling into PaB which you feel began to open you up?
    Adams Rubble: hehe. Not sure I would use the word "stumbling" but in some ways I guess maybe I did stumble into it; still there was an active time of searching involved. For some reason I found it easier as Adams Rubble than I did in real life. As Adams, I could search for the "kingdom of God" as a little child. I could be open in a way I could not in real life
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, a good clarification :)

    A Voice

    Adams Rubble: Yes, PaB was an important part. There was much I was ignorant about. For example when Pema first talked to me about identity I thought he was talking about name, rank, and serial number
    Eliza Madrigal: Interesting. Facts, then?
    Adams Rubble: So I spent the first ten months dealing with my "identities" or "attachments"
    Adams Rubble: In March when I last left off my story, there was one important one for me to face
    Adams Rubble: There was an identity, a voice in me from childhood which I considered a negative voice
    Adams Rubble: I set up to live life in opposition to it but it was always there questioning my values
    Adams Rubble: many times the voice would be personified in my mind as key figures; in times of weakness I thought and acted in step with the voice
    Adams Rubble: During the first nine months here I tried everything I could do to still the voice
    Adams Rubble: It was in April that it finally happened
    Adams Rubble: I owe that to Pema and Pila
    Eliza Madrigal: How interesting that you were able to notice this. Many go through their whole lives and never question in that kind of manner!
    Adams Rubble: It was at a PaB session and we were talking about Being seeing and God seeing
    Adams Rubble: I think someone mentioned Pema seeing (giggles)
    Adams Rubble: and then Pila mentioned Ancestor seeing
    Adams Rubble: I thought that a bit silly but I have pretty much tried everything suggested at PaB at least once :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: So I tried it
    Adams Rubble: I had worked on geneology a bit so I knew a bit about some of the ancestors
    Adams Rubble: In any case, they looked at the voice and told it to be quiet
    Adams Rubble: and the voice has been still ever since
    Eliza Madrigal: What a collaboration of events!

    A Point of No Return

    Eliza Madrigal: What did this stilling do in/for you from then?
    Adams Rubble: It was a point of no return for me
    Adams Rubble: Up to then I always believed I could slide back
    Adams Rubble: so I was desperately trying to go at as fast a pace as i could
    Adams Rubble: I may have slowed down too much since then :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) I am sure you haven't
    Eliza Madrigal: But it is interesting to me that sometimes pieces to what can seem like our own puzzles, are in someone else's hands :)
    Adams Rubble: yes, we need a little help from our friends :)
    Eliza Madrigal: And it seems the timing was right for you.
    Adams Rubble: yes, it was
    Adams Rubble: All that "work" in PaB had prepared me for the moment

    Eliza Madrigal: Did this then restore a bit more of your faith? Allow you to access love in a more complete way?
    Adams Rubble: Faith is not a word that has no interest for me personally at this time
    Adams Rubble: I still have my understanding of Christian values attached to the word
    Eliza Madrigal nods
    Adams Rubble: I prefer the word practice, a word garnered from my Buddhist friends :)
    Eliza Madrigal smiles
    Eliza Madrigal: Well, from your writing it is certainly apparent that indeed Love seems to be at work...
    Adams Rubble: I am working on it. Everyday I realize that if I had thought more lovingly or compassionately things would have gone much better :)
    Adams Rubble: I need to learn how to remember all these wonderful things I have learned when I need them :)


    There is an unusual beauty to talking about timelessness in a place which conjures such history.


    Eliza Madrigal: I was very interested to read that timelessness is a key to your allowing love in. Would you say more about that?
    Adams Rubble: and vice versa
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah
    Adams Rubble: My own limited understanding of of the concept timelessness was an important moment for me too
    Adams Rubble: I want to emphasize that it is the way I understand timelessness
    Eliza Madrigal: Of course :)
    Adams Rubble: When I think of timelessness I see a connection with every human being who ever lived or ever will live
    Adams Rubble: I realize then that you and I are sharing this music, the wonderful images of the Annunciation and Presentation in front of us, and every other appearance
    Adams Rubble: and that we have the same hopes, fears, etc.
    Eliza Madrigal: How beautiful, yes
    Adams Rubble: and every other human being has those too
    Adams Rubble: I expect some would expand that to all beings :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: When we see others are us then we can stop making judgments
    Adams Rubble: and just Love
    Eliza Madrigal: Love is enough?
    Adams Rubble: Truly I think it is a cure all :)
    Adams Rubble: but others would not agree :)
    Adams Rubble: I agree with Paul and am inspired by his words on the subject
    Adams Rubble: It is simple and direct

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
    self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in malice
    but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

    Eliza Madrigal: Yes, a very expansive and welcoming vision
    Adams Rubble: There was another factor in dealing with my voice
    Adams Rubble: I owe that to Corvi
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh! Go on please :)
    Adams Rubble: Who recommended Alice Walker's The Color Purple to me
    Adams Rubble: That also deals with voices passed down from previous generations
    Eliza Madrigal: Hm
    Adams Rubble: I think it helped loosen my attachment to the voice a little
    Adams Rubble: like waiting for a tooth to loosen before the dentist pulls it out
    Eliza Madrigal: to find empathy?
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah! Good description
    Adams Rubble: You mention empathy. the voice was anything but empathetic :)
    Adams Rubble: But since you mention it, something surprising has happened
    Eliza Madrigal: Yes, I wondered if the book and timelessness allowed you to be empathetic with the voice...
    Adams Rubble: As I looked back in my blog, there are numerous dreams in which deceased family members appear
    Eliza Madrigal listens
    Adams Rubble: and it seems I have been looking at them all with a newly found compassion
    Adams Rubble: They are more like human beings, like friends, rather than the authority figures or role models they had been
    Adams Rubble: Adams seeing ancestors :)
    Eliza Madrigal: A softening toward them then, and toward yourself?
    Eliza Madrigal: :))
    Adams Rubble: Yes, as I see them more compassionately it affects the way I see myself and others
    Eliza Madrigal: Your experiences, and the way you have shared them, is remarkably layered, remarkably textured, and yet very pure... simple in the best way.
    Adams Rubble: I think of myself as a simple person although wouldn't know it from all my playing with selves, manifestations and avatars in second life :)
    Adams Rubble: maybe I am simple minded :)

                  

    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, but now your mentioning of selves, manifestations, and avatars brings me to the question you asked at the end of your March entry ...
    Eliza Madrigal: You wrote:


    At the very end of the month I am thinking about how some of our "roles" become tangled up
    with one another. How can we ever begin to untangle them? How do we learn to choose what is useful from what
    we are taught without being burdened by the falsehoods passed on to us
    ?



    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Those are big questions!
    Adams Rubble: Well the falsehoods were in the voice
    Adams Rubble: as to the rest, we can do as Pema once told me:
    Adams Rubble: just drop them in order to listen
    Adams Rubble: and just like that all the weight can fall off our shoulders
    Eliza Madrigal smiles widely
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: yes of course :)

                 



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    Adams Rubble: It is quite a coincidence that the Annunciation just happens to be the painting on the slide show in front of us
    Adams Rubble: I have really learned to appreciate how much Mary was accepting from the angel, from God
    Adams Rubble: How trusting she was; how brave she was
    Adams Rubble: How invasive this gift from God was going to be...how much it would change her life even put her in danger
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh My, yes
    Adams Rubble: How can we hesitate about doing what is being asked of us in the face of her giving of herself :)
    Eliza Madrigal: That is quite a layered question, Adams :)
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: And one of your gifts seems to be asking them continually...
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I get a little teary, honestly... thinking about the picture you've painted
    Eliza Madrigal: it breathes life
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: You have painted, or Being paints...
    Adams Rubble: I have much to learn about Being
    Eliza Madrigal: I think you are in the right place  :) 

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