2008.05.10 01:00 - Suffering and healing

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    The guardian at this meeting was Pema Pera and the comments are his.  


    It was an hour past midnight, SL time, and I came to an empty tea house. After a while, I noticed someone else walking around nearby, and since I had nothing else to do, I got up and said hello. She was busy in IM, she said, but indicated that she was happy to talk later. Indeed, a while later she walked in my direction, but first stopped at a neighbor’s house. I had been sitting outside on the wooden planks, so I got up and walked over.

    Pema Pera: Hi again!
    Hopefia Fayray: do u live here?
    Pema Pera: no
    Pema Pera: next place
    Pema Pera: to your right

    We strolled to the tea house, and went inside.

    Pema Pera: please feel free to sit down!
    Hopefia Fayray: this is ur house?
    Pema Pera: no but I come here regularly with a group of friends
    Pema Pera: four times a day we get together here
    Pema Pera: but this time of the SL day there are few people
    Pema Pera: even so, we have made a commitment to be here once every six hours
    Hopefia Fayray: because i have been here a few times before to meditate
    Pema Pera: to keep a sense of community continuity
    Pema Pera: every day at 6 pm SLT
    Pema Pera: there is a small group doing zazen here
    Hopefia Fayray: ok
    Pema Pera: btw, I just looked at your web page, very nice !
    Hopefia Fayray: ty but it has not been updated recently because i had a bereavement and prolly taking me twice as long to do anything at the moment
    Pema Pera: oh, I’m sorry to hear that . . ..
    Pema Pera: zazen at 6 pm is out in the open air zen meditation area
    Pema Pera: here is this tea house we gather at 1 am, 7 am, 1 pm, and 7 pm
    Hopefia Fayray: i prefer to meditate in the open air somehow
    Pema Pera: yes, it is nice, isn’t it?
    Hopefia Fayray: 1am sl time?
    Pema Pera: yes all SL times
    Pema Pera: so this is one of the times
    Hopefia Fayray: i love nature
    Pema Pera: you will like our idea to create a large forest here
    Hopefia Fayray: yes i need to meditate in rl too
    Hopefia Fayray: wow that would be cool
    Pema Pera: spanning parts of a dozen sims
    Hopefia Fayray: to hide the silly billboards and hooplas things over there
    Hopefia Fayray: forests are always cool

    Hopefia had offered a teleport to her friend Jerel, who then materialized in the tea house.

    Jerel Jetcity: hello
    Jerel Jetcity: hi Pema
    Jerel Jetcity: nice to meet you
    Pema Pera: please join us
    Hopefia Fayray: pema meet jerel, jerel meet pema
    Pema Pera: yes indeed
    Pema Pera: nice to meet you
    Jerel Jetcity: hi sweety
    Hopefia Fayray: hello jerel
    Jerel Jetcity: thank you very much
    Pema Pera: Hi Jerel
    Jerel Jetcity: pleasure to meet ya
    Pema Pera: Have you been here before, Jerel?
    Jerel Jetcity: yes once when Hope showed me this place
    Jerel Jetcity: very soothing here
    Pema Pera: thank you!
    Pema Pera: my neighbor Dakini Rhode built it
    Pema Pera: and let me use it
    Jerel Jetcity: wow quite impressive
    Hopefia Fayray: we saw her briefly yesterday although i havent spoken to her yet
    Pema Pera: and I was just telling Hopefia about a project we just started of creating a huge forest
    Jerel Jetcity: really?
    Pema Pera: centered here and spanning parts of a dozen sims
    Jerel Jetcity: that sounds like a huge undertaking
    Pema Pera: to create a setting for many retreat huts
    Pema Pera: yes
    Jerel Jetcity: that would be amazing
    Hopefia Fayray: if i had a choice between shopping malls and house or miles of forest - i would choose the forest every time lol
    Pema Pera: but we are gathering a real community here
    Pema Pera: haha, yes
    Jerel Jetcity: me too

    I explained about the PaB background of our activities.

    Pema Pera: what happened here
    Pema Pera: the background for the forest plans
    Jerel Jetcity: yes
    Pema Pera: is an exploration I started here on April 1
    Pema Pera: called “Play as Being”
    Jerel Jetcity: very impressive
    Hopefia Fayray: april fools day? heh
    Pema Pera: a suggestion for a type of meditation, but very short — 9 seconds at a time ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: i think more nature on SL is needed
    Pema Pera: yes, pretty foolish no?
    Jerel Jetcity: haha
    Jerel Jetcity: not at all
    Pema Pera: http://playasbeing.wordpress.com/
    Hopefia Fayray: sometimes the ideas that appear childish or foolish are the ones life embraces
    Pema Pera: every fifteen minutes we stop for 9 seconds
    Pema Pera: and break the spell of the conventional
    Jerel Jetcity: really
    Pema Pera: paying a 1% time tax
    Pema Pera: and the results have been amazing
    Pema Pera: see my blog I just pointed to
    Jerel Jetcity: okay i am reading it now
    Pema Pera: about a hundred people have visited in the last 40 days
    Pema Pera: and half of them keep coming back
    Jerel Jetcity: i will keep your blog on file

    With that context, I returned to the forest idea.

    Pema Pera: so with this growing community we thought about how to embed us in the landscape
    Pema Pera: rather than just gathering here
    Pema Pera: and the idea of a forest was born
    Pema Pera: we have already one and a half sim worth of land
    Jerel Jetcity: do you own the dozen sims?
    Pema Pera: no
    Jerel Jetcity: ahh i see
    Pema Pera: one and a half sim I own by now
    Pema Pera: spread over a dozen sims
    Pema Pera: tentacles ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: i understand
    Jerel Jetcity: branches
    Pema Pera: like paths or railroads
    Pema Pera: but instead wooded walkways
    Jerel Jetcity: it will be vast
    Pema Pera: seems better
    Pema Pera: yes it will stretch to the Western sea
    Hopefia Fayray: or tree roots ;)
    Pema Pera: four or five sims from here
    Pema Pera: we just bought three plots of beach property and are now filling in the gaps
    Jerel Jetcity: what is your timeframe to complete the project?
    Pema Pera: a few months to get it all contiguous
    Pema Pera: and to get the rough landscaping done
    Pema Pera: hills and river beds
    Pema Pera: the rest will then take more time to fill in
    Jerel Jetcity: wow
    Pema Pera: and will never be really finished — like a real forest ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: so continuously changing then
    Hopefia Fayray: yeh nature reclaims eventually
    Pema Pera: yes
    Jerel Jetcity: sounds amazing
    Hopefia Fayray: gawd will be so refreshing to see some woodland amongst the concrete nightmares u usually see in SL
    Jerel Jetcity: haha so true
    Jerel Jetcity: i try to stay away from the city sims
    Pema Pera: well, please come visit whenever you feel like!
    Hopefia Fayray: TY

    The topic shifted to the green tea here, and its effects on avatars.

    Pema Pera: oh sorry I should have offered tea ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: ok..thanks so much Pema for the invite
    Hopefia Fayray: ive just had some chai ty
    Pema Pera: just click on the pot on the tray
    Jerel Jetcity: that is fine…thank you
    Jerel Jetcity: ok
    Pema Pera: as you already figured out
    Pema Pera: then wear the cup
    Pema Pera: yes
    Jerel Jetcity: delicious!
    Jerel Jetcity: ty
    Pema Pera: it does have a side effect
    Pema Pera: the script is not yet perfect
    Jerel Jetcity: ohh
    Pema Pera: most people seem to start to float
    Jerel Jetcity: i hope it won’t make me dizzy
    Hopefia Fayray: turns up green? hehhe
    Hopefia Fayray: us
    Pema Pera: so be warned;>)
    Pema Pera: no just levitating ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: haha
    Pema Pera: soon after drinking the tea
    Jerel Jetcity: as long as we don’t turn into a monster
    Jerel Jetcity: ahh i see
    Pema Pera: not to worry!
    Hopefia Fayray: heheh oh yeh i saw a fox levitating in here before lolol
    Pema Pera: haha
    Jerel Jetcity: hehe
    Hopefia Fayray: well a fox man
    Pema Pera: yes we are here often
    Jerel Jetcity: that would be a funny sight
    Hopefia Fayray: and no i wasnt hallucinating lol
    Pema Pera: haha!
    Pema Pera: btw
    Hopefia Fayray: he is part of ur group i think pema lol

    At that moment Jerel started to levitate, soon followed by Hopefia.

    Jerel Jetcity: i believe you hun
    Jerel Jetcity: whoa!
    Pema Pera: there you go!
    Jerel Jetcity: **laughs !! **
    Pema Pera: more levity here!
    Jerel Jetcity: makes you light on your feet huh
    Jerel Jetcity: literally
    Pema Pera: yup!
    Jerel Jetcity: nice
    Pema Pera: getting up and sitting down again seems to break the spell
    Pema Pera: until the next cup
    Hopefia Fayray: have i crashed?
    Jerel Jetcity: ok
    Hopefia Fayray: ok no there lol
    Pema Pera: no don’t think crashed
    Jerel Jetcity: haha
    Hopefia Fayray: lol
    Hopefia Fayray: *GIGGLES* :)
    Pema Pera: elevated your position ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: well Hope makes me float anyway
    Hopefia Fayray: oh groan lol
    Pema Pera: btw
    Jerel Jetcity: :)) hehe

    I explained what I was doing here being awake at 1 am SL time.

    Jerel Jetcity: i think you have a terrific plan
    Jerel Jetcity: for SL
    Pema Pera: I’m actually typing this from a coffeeshop in Tokyo right now, it is almost dinner time here
    Jerel Jetcity: wow
    Hopefia Fayray: lol
    Pema Pera: I’m taking care of the night shift here
    Pema Pera: easy from Japan
    Pema Pera: ;>)
    Jerel Jetcity: konban wa
    Pema Pera: morning breakfast tea, perfect!
    Pema Pera: konban wa Jerel-san
    Pema Pera: nihongo hanashimasu ka?
    Jerel Jetcity: ty Pema
    Jerel Jetcity: oh sorry that’s all i know
    Jerel Jetcity: arigato
    Jerel Jetcity: hehe
    Pema Pera: I was in Berkeley for three weeks
    Pema Pera: last month
    Jerel Jetcity: for work?
    Pema Pera: yes
    Pema Pera: half my work is astronomy
    Pema Pera: half of it is broadly interdisciplinary, trying to connect many areas
    Jerel Jetcity: excellent
    Pema Pera: under the general umbrella of “what is reality and what can we know about it”
    Jerel Jetcity: you are a man of science
    Hopefia Fayray: reality is what we create?
    Pema Pera: well . . ..
    Pema Pera: but who are we?
    Hopefia Fayray: where do u stand on theories of quantum physics and manifesting percepted reality Pema?
    Jerel Jetcity: so how we perceive our world is important in your field

    We talked a bit more about science.

    Pema Pera: quantum physics is a wonderful reminder
    Pema Pera: that we can be wrong
    Pema Pera: physicists thought the world was like a clockwork mechanism
    Pema Pera: for a few hundred years
    Pema Pera: and boy were we wrong
    Jerel Jetcity: so true
    Pema Pera: but science is so young
    Pema Pera: we will see many more revolutions I think before we get anywhere close to a really deep insight into reality
    Jerel Jetcity: like in medicine
    Pema Pera: comparable to that of the best contemplative traditions
    Hopefia Fayray: and whose mind or perception do we take as the “default” point of view?
    Hopefia Fayray: lol
    Pema Pera: I think the central question is how to let go of our limited view of who we are
    Pema Pera: only then can we ask what reality is
    Jerel Jetcity: but isn’t that subjective. all views could be correct in some way
    Hopefia Fayray: well yes - and recognise our projections onto others as being manifestations of our own positive or negative thoughts
    Pema Pera: often yes
    Hopefia Fayray: or indeed the events in the world
    Hopefia Fayray: as collective projection of un/conciousness?
    Hopefia Fayray: ie - what u think creates what u see
    Pema Pera: whether views are correct or not depends at least in part on context
    Hopefia Fayray: but then as I was saying to jerel earlier i struggle with some aspects of this approach
    Jerel Jetcity: and sometimes what we see misleads us
    Hopefia Fayray: ie the random bad things that occur to innocent people
    Jerel Jetcity: yes like violence or sadness
    Pema Pera: within a movie we can talk about a horse or a house that we see — but really it is only a play of light in a wider context
    Pema Pera: both are true
    Jerel Jetcity: yes
    Jerel Jetcity: because it is not the real actual thing
    Hopefia Fayray: what is real what is actual?
    Jerel Jetcity: well things that exist

    I quoted Stim.

    Pema Pera: a good friend of mine once said about compassion:
    Pema Pera: there are two parts to compassion:
    Pema Pera: 1) see that there is no problem; 2) help the other to see that too
    Jerel Jetcity: Pema so many people need to know that
    Hopefia Fayray: thats a wise reminder
    Pema Pera: what I am trying to do here is to help people to see that, and myself too, to see it better, with a little help from my friends (^_^)
    Hopefia Fayray: but those who have been deeply hurt sometimes carry the projections of those who have abused them into the future and need more reassurance to see that
    Pema Pera: yes
    Pema Pera: hence the 9-second practice here
    Hopefia Fayray: which is hard to swallow
    Hopefia Fayray: because it means the person who
    Hopefia Fayray: performed the horrible thing
    Pema Pera: to poke holes in our stubborn sense of sadness about our fixed ideas
    Hopefia Fayray: is loved or fogiven
    Jerel Jetcity: yes pain from the past can be long term hindrances
    Hopefia Fayray: and the person who had to endure
    Hopefia Fayray: somehow has to fight constantly
    Hopefia Fayray: to survive
    Hopefia Fayray: it seems unfair
    Hopefia Fayray: like asking a butterfly to pull itself together
    Pema Pera: yes, Hopefia, I don’t want to take that lightly in any way — suffering is the basis of any deep exploration of reality
    Hopefia Fayray: because a dog has just mauled it
    Hopefia Fayray: whilst patting and saying well done to the dog
    Pema Pera: you can’t look at part of reality as a dream and leave the other part real, like you yourself, or the dog . . . . .
    Jerel Jetcity: it makes me wonder about life in general. is pain and suffering a natural order
    Hopefia Fayray: i know that suffering has made me stronger like a phoenix insome ways
    Jerel Jetcity: it is so prevalent

    Whether suffering is real is such a delicate topic. Showing respect for the experience of suffering without buying into the reality of suffering feels like walking a tight rope.

    Pema Pera: ultimately it does not exist — but that can be blasphemy to say that if you are not able to express it correctly, so I want to be very very careful . . . . .
    Hopefia Fayray: so are we really choosing to hurt ourselves?
    Pema Pera: yes, people who have not suffered much are rarely deep in their understanding and outlook
    Jerel Jetcity: i understand, because those qualities are ones that are experienced differently for each person
    Hopefia Fayray: even if someone is raped or murdered
    Hopefia Fayray: that victim has “chosen” that fate?
    Pema Pera: that would be too simple I think
    Pema Pera: everything is intertwined like roots in a forest
    Jerel Jetcity: well i know they exist because you see it everyday
    Pema Pera: an image that came up in a conversation here recently
    Hopefia Fayray: just asking because i try to do lots of affirmations and live positively in rl
    Hopefia Fayray: as being a teacher i want to be good role model for the kids
    Hopefia Fayray: and to also have a positive life myself
    Hopefia Fayray: i find posiitve thinking can bring great results
    Hopefia Fayray: but
    Hopefia Fayray: also
    Jerel Jetcity: no one chooses to be hurt physically or emotionally abused
    Hopefia Fayray: looking at whether negative manifestations
    Hopefia Fayray: are results from ur own mind
    Hopefia Fayray: or sometimes the Psychic projection of others
    Pema Pera: we have very little choice, really — so much of what happens is beyond our power — yet we can choose our attitude
    Pema Pera: as you indicate
    Jerel Jetcity: yes we can
    Hopefia Fayray: yes there is always a choice of how to react
    Jerel Jetcity: positivity goes a long way in this world
    Jerel Jetcity: people are so negative
    Hopefia Fayray: well like most people i have had a tough life - but i choose to nuture and allow my soul and psyche to be taught by life
    Hopefia Fayray: are people so negative jerel or
    Jerel Jetcity: you are strong hope
    Hopefia Fayray: is that ur projection when u are feeling negative?
    Hopefia Fayray: i know when i am feeling weak
    Pema Pera: and perhaps there is no problem at all . . . ultimately . . . and perhaps we can find a real resource in that way . . . I think we can . . . even though all that sounds very abstract, but it can be the most concrete. The name I prefer to use for the resource is “Being”
    Hopefia Fayray: people around me mirror that in the things they say and do backk to me
    Hopefia Fayray: life is a mirror is it not?
    Jerel Jetcity: no i witness people’s behavior sometimes and i try to be positive but you witness reality as it’s manifested by people’s actions or words

    The conversation accelerated. Clearly we were covering many topics that would need more time to sort them out. Hopefully soon!

    Hopefia Fayray: i think the inner creates the outer
    Hopefia Fayray: and life is a mirror
    Hopefia Fayray: of everyone’s psyche
    Hopefia Fayray: thats why we all need to heal and grow
    Hopefia Fayray: because we will still have wars
    Hopefia Fayray: poverty
    Hopefia Fayray: etc
    Hopefia Fayray: from lack of love
    Hopefia Fayray: and not money
    Hopefia Fayray: it boils down to lack of love for ourselves
    Hopefia Fayray: each of us
    Jerel Jetcity: so “Being” can be a way for us to heal and realize who we are
    Hopefia Fayray: the more we love ourselves
    Hopefia Fayray: the better we create
    Jerel Jetcity: yes i believe that as well
    Pema Pera: yes
    Jerel Jetcity: it all starts from each of us within ourselves
    Pema Pera: but we also have to see
    Pema Pera: what is real
    Hopefia Fayray: how do we see what is real?
    Pema Pera: otherwise we can love ourselves and get confused in doing so
    Hopefia Fayray: if reality is a concept?
    Jerel Jetcity: that question was posed in that movie the matrix…”and what is real?”
    Hopefia Fayray: i am frequentely confused lol
    Pema Pera: I am refering to seeing beyond concepts
    Pema Pera: beyond words
    Hopefia Fayray: life is breath
    Hopefia Fayray: and priorities
    Hopefia Fayray: when i was nursing my mother
    Hopefia Fayray: waiting for her to die
    Hopefia Fayray: a horrible expression
    Hopefia Fayray: but in effect what we had to do
    Pema Pera: when you drop what you have you are left with what you are — when you see that, there is no problem (to put it in a very small nut shell ;>)
    Hopefia Fayray: life became about life
    Hopefia Fayray: life=life
    Hopefia Fayray: and her carrying on breathing was all that mattered
    Hopefia Fayray: to me at least
    Pema Pera: that must have been a very moving experience
    Pema Pera: difficult too I bet
    Hopefia Fayray: then i actually felt her let go
    Jerel Jetcity: that was difficult Hope…is
    Hopefia Fayray: and the life force slip away
    Hopefia Fayray: at the end of the day
    Hopefia Fayray: life=life
    Hopefia Fayray: and thats all that matters
    Hopefia Fayray: thats why i shove all the negative garbage and goal scoring
    Jerel Jetcity: a cycle of life that we must all face, even our own time draws near with each second that passes

    We continued to talk about life and suffering.

    Hopefia Fayray: others sometimes tryto play games wiht in rl to one side
    Hopefia Fayray: because life is short and thats all that matters
    Jerel Jetcity: yes
    Hopefia Fayray: im not afraid of dying
    Jerel Jetcity: so we must cherish it and not live with grudges or stress
    Hopefia Fayray: but that can be hard when injustice is perceived
    Hopefia Fayray: and it makes me angry when the innocent suffer
    Hopefia Fayray: but then hopefully they are metamorphised in a sense
    Jerel Jetcity: that goes back to why things sometimes make no sense in this world
    Hopefia Fayray: i think it is all chaos
    Hopefia Fayray: and the beautiful thing that humans do
    Jerel Jetcity: i want to understand why pain exists
    Hopefia Fayray: is simply to try and put some kind of order into it?
    Hopefia Fayray: pain reminds us of a message
    Hopefia Fayray: if have a headache most people take tablets
    Hopefia Fayray: should listen to ur body
    Hopefia Fayray: and what it is trying to tell u
    Hopefia Fayray: we need to start from the premise
    Hopefia Fayray: that we are already “enough”
    Hopefia Fayray: from the beginning and were designed to be so
    Hopefia Fayray: and all this grasping and struggling
    Hopefia Fayray: is b****shit
    Hopefia Fayray: should just allow ourselves to “be”
    Pema Pera: That is a very strong message of hope, Hopefia!
    Jerel Jetcity: i don’t take medicines because i believe that yes our bodies are all we need to heal itself
    Pema Pera: This “to be” for me is central too
    Hopefia Fayray: yes - negativity/demons/bad karma - whatever u call it
    Hopefia Fayray: tries to constantly make us fall
    Hopefia Fayray: whisper somehow we are not good enough
    Hopefia Fayray: we simpyl need to let go and remember
    Hopefia Fayray: we are ALREADY enough
    Hopefia Fayray: and just need to allow ourselves to be so
    Jerel Jetcity: we do control who we are and what we can become
    Hopefia Fayray: well to a point

    We talked about healing and believing.

    Pema Pera: that is similar to what I meant when I spoke about “seeing” — seeing through those whispers that we are not good enough
    Hopefia Fayray: some of us need healing and
    Hopefia Fayray: someone to believe that what we said happened to us
    Hopefia Fayray: did actually happen
    Jerel Jetcity: affirmation can lead to healing
    Hopefia Fayray: and does it seem Pema - that the more aware u are of life
    Hopefia Fayray: the more u open urself up to the potential
    Hopefia Fayray: of being “brough down”
    Hopefia Fayray: its like uve put ur head up over the parapet
    Hopefia Fayray: and started to fight?
    Hopefia Fayray: lol
    Pema Pera: yes
    Hopefia Fayray: and esp if u are affecting others positvely
    Jerel Jetcity: hehe
    Hopefia Fayray: trying to help them see their true positive selves
    Hopefia Fayray: then u are open to “attack” lol
    Hopefia Fayray: ?
    Pema Pera: that’s okay
    Jerel Jetcity: well this world needs more positivity..more light to light up the darkness
    Pema Pera: if you see yourself what is
    Pema Pera: it is not such a big thing to be attacked ;>)
    Pema Pera: well
    Pema Pera: I will have to go soon
    Pema Pera: to get dinner here
    Jerel Jetcity: ok
    Hopefia Fayray: no - it depends who u have fighting ur corner and who is covering ur back
    Hopefia Fayray: lol
    Hopefia Fayray: ok have a great lunch was lovely talking to u
    Pema Pera: perhaps there there is nobody to fight
    Jerel Jetcity: well don’t wanna keep you, you must be hungry hehe
    Pema Pera: and no you to fight
    Hopefia Fayray: yes maybe fighting myself
    Pema Pera: I’m really glad to have met you both, and I hope you’ll come back here during other gatherings here!
    Hopefia Fayray: ty
    Jerel Jetcity: pleasure to meet you too Pema

    I gave a brief sketch of the atmosphere of our PaB gettogethers.

    Pema Pera: these are indeed the type of things we talk about
    Pema Pera: but only 1/3 of the time
    Jerel Jetcity: ty would be nice
    Pema Pera: itseems that 2/3 of the time we just have fun
    Hopefia Fayray: brb
    Pema Pera: a very cheerful bunch
    Pema Pera: we mix being silly and serious
    Jerel Jetcity: haha ok sounds good
    Pema Pera: something in a matter of minutes or seconds
    Pema Pera: that is the Play part
    Jerel Jetcity: well it’s late here and i am going to bed
    Pema Pera: the Being part is very much like what we discussed
    Pema Pera: hence Play as Being
    Pema Pera: okay, sleep well, Jerel!
    Jerel Jetcity: ty Pema. have a nice night
    Pema Pera: u 2 Jerel!
    Jerel Jetcity: bye Pema
    Pema Pera: tc!
    Pema Pera: say hi & bi for me to Hopefia!
    Jerel Jetcity: it was nice to talk to you
    Jerel Jetcity: ok i will
    Pema Pera: same here!
    Jerel Jetcity: :)
    Pema Pera: c u
    Jerel Jetcity: c u

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