I enjoy the openness and freedom of Play as Being, as a kind of market place for anyone with a really serious interest in exploring reality. But I also very much appreciate the more specific attempts to give new form to old ways of practicing. Using Second Life as a way to let us avatars `just sit’ is a wonderfully inspiring way to remind us that `just sitting’ transcends cultures and media. Shikantaza, the Japanese expression for `just sitting’, has been an important part of my own development, early on, when I started exploring my own life as a laboratory, in my late teens and early twenties.
Sharing `just sitting’ with others can be meaningful in a way and on a level that is very hard to convey in words. Of course, it can mean different things for different people, and also different things for the same person at different times. But it has at least the potential to help us drop what we have, and see what we are; the core aim of Play as Being.
Play as Being itself is equally appropriate for Hinduists, Buddhists, Taoists, Sufis, Christians, or any serious practitioner, including those who are mostly attracted to a scientific of purely humanist exploration. And the Play aspect of Play as Being does play out quite differently in different forms of practice. But the Being part of Play as Being is expressed especially clearly in Japanese Zen and the original Chinese Chan as well as the Korean, Vietnamese, and other versions.
So even though PaB is not Buddhist, and is equally at home in, say, Advaita Vedanta or many other traditions, it is a fitting and happy historical fact that PaB took root here in Rieul next to the Zen Retreat, with Dakini being the connection between the two, just a few weeks before Play as Being was launched, on April 1.
Anyway, after we finished our zen sitting, at 6:30 pm SLT, there was still half an hour left before the start of the evening PaB session. At the end of our rounds of greetings and goodbyes, I found the chance to talk with Delani. I had met her only very briefly before in SL, but in another sense I felt I had met her already many times, through reading the PaB blogs: Delani often attends the afternoon sessions, which is my bed time in Japan. Here is a snippet of our after-zen conversation.
Adams Rubble: Good morning, day, evening or night to you all :)
Isen Enzo: Blessings…
Pema Pera: :)
Amya Bellah: Yes have a good morning…night or evening :)
Dakini Rhode: you too, Amya
Delani Gabardini: ty for joining amya
Pema Pera: it is a good morning here :-)
Delani Gabardini: ah japan
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: Kyoto, in the middle of the rainy season
Amya Bellah: wow nice :)
Pema Pera: but dry this morning
Delani Gabardini: well it is nice that u joined us
Pema Pera: Hi Steve!
stevenaia Michinaga: hello
Dakini Rhode: hi Steve!
Pema Pera: Yes, Delani, good seeing you here
Delani Gabardini: i tried to get to some PaBs
Delani Gabardini: wonderful concept
Pema Pera: yes, I saw your visits
Delani Gabardini: LOL
Pema Pera: always fun to read the blogs as a reader for a change
Delani Gabardini: we do tend to stray
Pema Pera: though in most cases I manage to be there myself
Pema Pera: oh yes, that’s part of the play
Delani Gabardini: what time do u go Pema
Pema Pera: in “Play as Being”
Pema Pera: oh, whenever I can
Pema Pera: 1 pm is 5 am in Japan
Pema Pera: then I’m asleep, mostly
Delani Gabardini: oh - that is the one that works best for me
Pema Pera: the other sessions, I’m often there
Pema Pera: 1 am 7 am 7 pm
Delani Gabardini: well i will try for one that u attend
Pema Pera: but in a few weeks I’ll be in California
Pema Pera: so then I’ll be at the 1 pm as well
Delani Gabardini: great
Delani Gabardini: will u return to Japan
Pema Pera: yes, in September Japan
Pema Pera: August NYC
Pema Pera: late July Berkeley :)
Delani Gabardini: r u on sabatical
Pema Pera: no, my job is research only
Pema Pera: anywhere in the world
Delani Gabardini: ah
Amya Bellah: I like that idea of anywhere in the world!
Pema Pera: I’m pretty lucky . . . .
When Delani mentioned Hikari, it peaked my curiosity.
Delani Gabardini: well I am heading back to Hikari
Pema Pera: Hikari, like in “ray of light”?
Delani Gabardini: Moon’s sim!!!
Pema Pera: ah!
Pema Pera: hikari is Japanese for light ray
Pema Pera: so was wondering
Pema Pera: whether you went back to the sun :)
Dakini Rhode gave you Hikaru, Hikari (91, 171, 27).
Delani Gabardini: visit us sometime
Pema Pera: Is that in Itsari?
Delani Gabardini: no it is a new sim
Pema Pera: or near?
Pema Pera: ah!
Delani Gabardini: none of us are on itsari now
Pema Pera: he moved his buildings from Itsari to Hikari?
Delani Gabardini: yes
Delani Gabardini: and built new temples
Pema Pera: I visited in Itsari a while ago
Delani Gabardini: beautiful right Gam
Gambhira Skytower: yes
Pema Pera: can I come along now and have a look?
Delani Gabardini: yes does anyone want to come
Delani Gabardini: i can tp u and give a mini tour
Dakini Rhode: yes Delani, I love Hikari
Pema Pera: please
Gambhira Skytower: i do
Pema Pera: I’ll have to be back in 20 minutes
Delani Gabardini: ok
Pema Pera: for the next Play as Being session
Delani Gabardini: it wont take long
stevenaia Michinaga: I’ll pass thank you, need some down time
Pema Pera: Amya, wanna join us?
Delani Gabardini: gam will u come
Amya Bellah: Sure :) Would love to
Gambhira Skytower: yes Del
Delani Gabardini: i will tp each of u
Delani Gabardini: bye Steve
Pema Pera: c u Steve
stevenaia Michinaga: thx for the landmark
Gambhira Skytower: take care Steve
So we all set off on a little tour to Hikari.
Delani Gabardini: this is the main temple - come look
Amya Bellah: wow really nice :)
Dakini Rhode: i think Moon has done a beautiful job with this
Delani Gabardini: we have a stupa which I donated
Pema Pera: definitely!
Delani Gabardini: and another temple
Delani Gabardini: tea house
Pema Pera: Are you a builder too, Delani?
Delani Gabardini: no no
Delani Gabardini: i just happened to have a stupa
Pema Pera: what a great one-liner, lol !
It could be the title of a movie “I just happened to have a stupa” . . . .
Delani Gabardini: shall we walk around
Dakini Rhode: i like the trees moon made himself
Delani Gabardini: btw Moon has diff seasons on the island - this is fall obviously - this is where I live
Pema Pera: yes, very bright and cheerful
Delani Gabardini: i think we should fly - ok
Delani Gabardini: hi gam!!
Delani Gabardini: good
Delani Gabardini: the stupa is on the other side of the island
Delani’s agile flight took me by surprise, and I had to use minimap and keen eyesight to spot her in the distance. I just managed to catch up, noticed Amya wasn’t there, and gave her a tp.
Amya Bellah: thank you!
Pema Pera: yw!
Delani Gabardini: there is also a hidden temple
Amya Bellah: Lost my flying ability for a second
Dakini Rhode: and i hear this spot is Isen’s inspiration…
Pema Pera: i almost lost them too :)
Amya Bellah: hehehe
Delani Gabardini: there are all these amazing little zendos and yes Isen was the designer
Pema Pera: did you buy a whole island, as a group?
Delani Gabardini: no Moon bought the sim - I bought the name
Delani Gabardini: he is the owner
Pema Pera: ?
Pema Pera: bought the name?
Delani Gabardini: hikari
Pema Pera: how do you buy a name?
Delani Gabardini: had to pay for it
Pema Pera: ah :-)
Pema Pera: how many people live here?
Delani Gabardini: right now 4
Delani Gabardini: but there are houses available
Amya Bellah: …how can we get to live here?
Delani Gabardini: you must speak with Moon
Delani Gabardini: Moon Fargis
Amya Bellah: thanks :) was going to ask
Delani Gabardini: Moon is in Germany so not on this time
Delani Gabardini: we would love to have u join us here
Delani Gabardini: so why don’t u explore the island and I will just sit here
Delani Gabardini: oh do u want me to take u to the stupa first?
Dakini Rhode: :-)))
Pema Pera: sure!
Amya Bellah: Sure!!
Delani Gabardini: i will tp u
This time I was determined to get there without tp, and I just managed, showing up right in front of the stupa. My particular AO lets my av do a summersault when I sto flying while still a bit above the ground, which was what drew the comments.
Gambhira Skytower: lol
Delani Gabardini: wow Pema good trick
Pema Pera: :)
Delani Gabardini: this stupa was free at Bodhi
Delani Gabardini: it is Tibetan
Amya Bellah: very nice…and what does it say?
Delani Gabardini: Dakini - u should relate to this
Dakini Rhode: oh yes Delani, in fact i have one of these in my inventory :-)
Delani Gabardini: i have no idea - i don’t understand sanskrit fully
Delani Gabardini: did u get it at Bodhi?
Dakini Rhode: the rotation bit in the center?
Dakini Rhode: that is om mani padme hum
Dakini Rhode: Chenrezig’s mantra
Delani Gabardini: oh that is wonderful - I say that often
Dakini Rhode: the mantra of compassion
Pema Pera: It is Tibetan
Amya Bellah: :)
Delani Gabardini: a beautiful mantra
Pema Pera: I think it say Om mani pema hum
Dakini Rhode: yes indeed
I had not noticed that Dakini had typed the same already. I was staring at the rapidly rotating Tibetan characters, trying to parse them from what little Tibetan I remembered after learning the alphabet many years ago. Dakini used padme, the Sanskrit word for lotus, while pema is the Tibetan pronounciation; the name I’ve choosen for my avaatar, Pema, thus means lotus in Tibetan. The Sanskrit word shows up also in the name Padmasambhava, litterally lotus-born, who brought Buddhism from India to Tibet. The Tibetan version of lotus-born is Pema Jungney.
Pema Pera: but it goes a bit too fast for me to read easily
Delani Gabardini: moon built the platform
Pema Pera: a bit rusty in my Tibetan :)
Amya Bellah: I am very new in the meaning of mantras
Dakini Rhode: yes that is it Pema
Dakini Rhode: the 6 syllable mantra
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: I see it now too
Pema Pera: I love the whole landscape setting as well
Delani Gabardini: Zato helped us with the temple
Pema Pera: the hills, the sky, the sea
Dakini Rhode: i love Moon’s trees
Pema Pera: all very well done!
Pema Pera: yes
Dakini Rhode: they’re low prim yet lovely
Gambhira Skytower: there is a hidden temple?
Delani Gabardini: we had some very good input - Zato is a rl monk
Pema Pera: wonderful place, Delani, and beautiful stupa too!
Delani Gabardini: yes it is beautiful
Pema Pera: I’ll have to return to Dakini’s pavilion :-)
Delani Gabardini: i have trouble finding it - it is well hidden
Delani Gabardini: ty for coming Pema
Pema Pera: thanks for showing, Delani!
Delani Gabardini: it was so nice seeing you again
Dakini Rhode: (Pema: it’s YOUR pavilion) lol
Pema Pera: looking forward to meeting you at a PaB session!
Delani Gabardini: you will
Pema Pera: haha, our pavilion then
Amya Bellah: It was really nice meeting you all. I will go ”work” on my other SL house :)
Dakini Rhode: haha
Delani Gabardini: maybe gam can join us
Pema Pera: enjoy, Amya!
Amya Bellah: Very nice pavillon!
Delani Gabardini: nice to meet u amya
Pema Pera: c u Gam!
Dakini Rhode: bye for now - and please join us if you like for PaBs
Pema Pera: bye everybody!
Gambhira Skytower: bye Pema
Delani Gabardini: Gam do u want to look for the hidden temple
Amya Bellah: Thank you and see you soon :)
Dakini and I teleported back to our pavilion. Most of the pictures that follow were taken by Sylectra; the two pictures with avatar names were taken by me.
Dakini Rhode: Pema i will give you a tour of Rieul one of these days :-)
Pema Pera: wonderful island they built there in a short time!
Pema Pera: sure, I’d be happy too.
Dakini Rhode: yes!
Pema Pera: I think I’ve seen most of Rieul and Mieum
Dakini Rhode: Moon does beautiful work…
Pema Pera: but I’m always happy to learn more fo the background
Pema Pera: it makes me wonder what to do with our forest
Dakini Rhode: Rieul is always changing… maybe one day it will be finished (ha!)
Pema Pera: oh no . . .
Dakini Rhode: i have some ideas, but Storm needs to put in the river first
Pema Pera: how to make the forest land friendly for many guardians to live in
Dakini Rhode: yes
Pema Pera: to become neighbors
Pema Pera: not only during PaB sessions, but as places to homestead
Dakini Rhode: to date the river has been the pathway thru…
Dakini Rhode: do we have many living in the forest now?
Pema Pera: nobody that I know off yet
Pema Pera: but I may be wrong
Dakini Rhode: i see that Rajah is there
Pema Pera: ah!
Pema Pera: great
Dakini Rhode: :-)
Pema Pera: we’ll have to talk about that during the guardian meeting
Dakini Rhode: Maybe it would be helpful for us to put houses in there
Dakini Rhode: maybe not all know how to build or want to…
Almost simultaneously, Steven, NeitherNorist, Pia and Sylectra arrived, so suddenly there half a dozen of us.
Pema Pera: Hi Steve!
stevenaia Michinaga: how was your tip
stevenaia Michinaga: trip
Pema Pera: Hi NN!
Pema Pera: welcome back
Dakini Rhode: Hi Steve Pia and NeitherNorist
stevenaia Michinaga: this is someone looking for you Pema
Pema Pera: Hi Pia!
Pema Pera: NN, this is our new place
NeitherNorist Ohl: hey PP
stevenaia Michinaga: hi Pia
Pema Pera: we moved a week or so ago
NeitherNorist Ohl: I can see
Pema Pera: the other place became too small for us
Dakini Rhode: Hi Syl
Sylectra Darwin: oops! Forgot to stop dancing
stevenaia Michinaga: hi Sylectra
Pema Pera: or we became too large, really :)
NeitherNorist Ohl: isn’t this nice
Pema Pera: Hi Syl!
Sylectra Darwin: Hi!
NeitherNorist Ohl: hi everybody
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4 whispers: Coffee type set to - Mocha
stevenaia Michinaga: danicng your way here? Sylectra
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4 whispers: Coffee Machine ready for use.
Sylectra Darwin: OK, am I stopped?
Dakini Rhode: i think you are
Sylectra Darwin: OK, thank you!
Sylectra Darwin: Good to see you all!
Pia Iger: hi,all
Dakini Rhode: brb
Pema Pera: Hi Pia!
Pema Pera: Hi Syl!
Sylectra Darwin: Hi Pema!
Windchime Bronze 12: Pema Pera picked the option ‘Sounds’.
Pia Iger: more birds sound, there are.
Steve refered to an email I had sent to the guardians email group.
stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for the reminder about the interesting blog on anger from the other day, worthwile read
Sylectra Darwin: It was - the one on anger and compassion?
Sylectra Darwin: good read
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Dakini Rhode: you know there was one day we kept talking on that subject…
Dakini Rhode: i haven’t seen that in the blog
Sylectra Darwin: hmmm
Dakini Rhode: maybe we only need to blog the first hour not the next 2 or 3
Dakini Rhode: :-)
Sylectra Darwin: haha
Pema Pera: oh, everything I get I put up :)
stevenaia Michinaga: it reads quicker than actually being there
Pema Pera: when was that Dakini?
Dakini Rhode: i wish i knew for sure, Pema
Pema Pera: I’m about two days behind
Pema Pera: generally
Dakini Rhode: last Saturday maybe
Pema Pera: that should be there then
Pema Pera: if it was in a PaB session
Pema Pera: NN, have you followed a bit what we’ve been doing?
Pema Pera: NN was one of our first participants, back in April when we started
Steve shared a fascinating observation.
stevenaia Michinaga: funny how talking bout anger and compassion was quite uplifting, your the conversation of Happiness from a week or so ago was quite the opposite (for me)
Pema Pera: hahaha, lol
Dakini Rhode: interesting how the mind goes…
stevenaia Michinaga: seems there is less happiness than anger
Pema Pera: or less easy to formulate
Pia Iger: I think Steve means “cats, dogs and happiness”
Pia Iger: that entry
stevenaia Michinaga: you can remove yourself from an angery state, but finding happyness is more dificult
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
NeitherNorist Ohl: I haven’t been following it. It’ll take me a while to fully catch up. FL needed a lot of attention
Pema Pera: Rl
Dakini Rhode: what do we mean by happiness?
Pema Pera: RL = real life
Pema Pera: SL = second life
NeitherNorist Ohl: yes, RL
Dakini Rhode: or FL = First Life
stevenaia Michinaga: happiness… my usual state
stevenaia Michinaga: a plce of contentment
Dakini Rhode: that’s how i see it too
stevenaia Michinaga: place
Dakini Rhode: basic happiness
Dakini Rhode: or absence of disturbing emotions & conflicting thoughts?
Pia Iger: calmness?
stevenaia Michinaga: all of those things
Sylectra Darwin: I’d go with contentment and a sense of fulfillment
stevenaia Michinaga: at once
stevenaia Michinaga: fulfillment is easy as that is life itself, or perhaps being
stevenaia Michinaga: Being
Dakini Rhode: it’s funny as i don’t think about happiness that much….
Pia Iger: Oh? to me fulfillness is not easy
stevenaia Michinaga: but isn;t it as easy as a smile?
Pia Iger: has to get something to be fulfilled, right?
Dakini Rhode: interesting thought, Pia…
Dakini Rhode: as if we have to get something to be fulfilled i guess that could be difficult
Sylectra Darwin: maybe we should differentiate between fulfillment and a SENSE of fulfillment
Sylectra Darwin: The latter being a perception, possibly brought on by the choice to feel fulfilled.
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4 whispers: Coffee type set to - Latte
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4 whispers: Coffee Machine ready for use.
Pia noticed that Dakini, seated next to her only a moment ago, had just risen way above her, leaving only seem of her black robes draped down on her cushion below.
Pia Iger: Dakini is higher than me.
Pema Pera: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: is dakini levatating? tr to much starch in her robe?
stevenaia Michinaga: or
Sylectra Darwin: It must be the caffeine
Dakini Rhode: have some Latte, Pia
Dakini Rhode: lol Steve
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4 whispers: Coffee type set to - Cappuccino
Dakini Rhode: this skirt does look a little stiff
Sylectra Darwin: hehe
Dakini Rhode: i have to talk to the cleaner about that….
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4: Must clear coffee cups before making another.
At that moment, after Pia took a sip herself, she too levitated.
Sylectra Darwin: hahaha, Pia!
Pia Iger: what happened?
Dakini Rhode: lol
Dakini Rhode: definitely the caffeine
Dakini Rhode: not the starch
stevenaia Michinaga: I was thinking about what Dakini said earlier: Dakini Rhode: basic happiness [19:15] Dakini Rhode: or absence of disturbing emotions & conflicting thoughts?
Pema Pera: :-)
FX1-Black V1.0 (High Prim)_v4: Must clear coffee cups before making another.
stevenaia Michinaga: seems that she mentioned things that could prevent happiness
NeitherNorist Ohl: hey everyone, I have to run. see you all soon.
Pia Iger: bye, NN.
Pema Pera: bye NN!
Dakini Rhode: nice to see you again NN!
Sylectra Darwin: see you soon NN
stevenaia Michinaga: by NN
stevenaia Michinaga: but happyness id not what;s left after you remove all the negative things , is it?
stevenaia Michinaga: it;s a state that prevents those thongs
Sylectra Darwin: that’s an interesting way to put it
stevenaia Michinaga: things
stevenaia Michinaga: nothing should prevent thongs
Sylectra Darwin: It occupies space rather than is the void.
Sylectra Darwin: hmmmm
Dakini Rhode: lol that’s a matter of taste… (thongs)
stevenaia Michinaga: well, yes, a freudian lapse
Sylectra Darwin: hehe, Steven!
Sylectra Darwin: Well we were discussing happiness
stevenaia Michinaga: in our own way…smile
Dakini Rhode: who is tonite’s guardian?
Pema Pera: me
Dakini Rhode: (ok)
Pema Pera: and I’m just happy to sit and listen
Pema Pera: but I can walk and talk too :)
Pema Pera: I don’t know much to say about happiness . . . .
Pema Pera: I think I’m with Steve there, generally happy . . . .
Pema Pera: :-)
Dakini Rhode: i never quite know what happiness is, so i don’t think about it much
Pema Pera: when I’m not happy, I’m generally happy to investigate why not
Pema Pera: and learn from that
Sylectra Darwin: excuse me - dogs want out
Pema Pera: c u Syl!
Thanks to Steve’s persistence, we continued our conversation around happiness, and many interesting aspects were brought forwards.
Dakini Rhode: when i feel something negative i usually have some changing coming up
Dakini Rhode: so now i look to see what needs changing
Dakini Rhode: usually it’s my mind…
stevenaia Michinaga: happiness can be as simple as acceptance
stevenaia Michinaga: that can be the change
Sylectra Darwin: back
Pema Pera: wb Syl!
Sylectra Darwin: ty
Sylectra Darwin: acceptance is a big part of it.
stevenaia Michinaga: how things, outside problems , affect you can affect your relative state of happiness, if you don;t let them affect you, or change to not let them affect you, happiness remains
Pema Pera: the problem is, do you always have the power to do so, Steve?
stevenaia Michinaga: power to affect yourself… sure
stevenaia Michinaga: it;s probably the only power you do have
Pema Pera: hmmmm
Pema Pera: if you would be in a really terrible situation
Pema Pera: how do you know you would have the power to deal with it?
Sylectra Darwin: the serenity prayer is an example from Christian culture.
Sky arrived, and again there were six of us.
Pema Pera: hi Sky!
stevenaia Michinaga: that reminds me of Stem’s story of anger and the imprisoned monk who had compation for his imprisoners
Sylectra Darwin: hello Sky!
Dakini Rhode: hi Sky!
Sylectra Darwin: I read that blog - and had trouble buying into it.
Dakini Rhode: I nearly didn’t recognize you (except for you name)
Dakini Rhode: I completely buy into that
Dakini Rhode: and this is why
Dakini Rhode: i have had experience like that
stevenaia Michinaga: also, for me locally there were those menenite children in lancaster pa who were killed by a deranged neighbor, the community forgave and offered help to the killers family
stevenaia Michinaga: they had that power
stevenaia Michinaga: compassion
Sylectra Darwin: wow
Dakini Rhode: what is the key to touching that heart of compassion?
Sylectra Darwin: possibly releasing anger
Sylectra Darwin: the two cannot exist in the same space
Dakini Rhode: for me, it was seeing that we are all interconnected
Dakini Rhode: in a very real way
Sylectra Darwin: I like that
Pema Pera: Yes, there is that power, and it is always available, and sometimes it seems to come easy, and sometimes not . . . so the question is what or even whether we can do anything to open up more for that
Dakini Rhode: we can do PaBs
stevenaia Michinaga: releasing, letting go of anger and other things, these are the things that allow love, happiness and compassion to take hold, more of the positive, reduces the negative
Dakini Rhode: or other forms of practice
Sylectra Darwin: I feel more compassionate when I take care of myself.
stevenaia Michinaga: ever try to be angy in a group of happy people, it;s rather defusing
Dakini Rhode: the reason i say that…
Dakini Rhode: isPaB or other practice like that
Dakini Rhode: allows you to see things differently
Pema Pera: seeing is key . . . .
Dakini Rhode: yes, seeing reality
Dakini Rhode: seeing what is real and what is not
Pema Pera: life experience helps, good friends help, serious practice of any kinds helps, but the question is seeing . . . .
I had to smile about the way Dakini and I sometimes seemed to finish each other’s sentences.
Pia Iger: can Seeing just happen to ourselves, without helps
Pia Iger: ?
Sylectra Darwin: Maybe I should start with a less extreme example than a monk being tortured by the government.
Pema Pera: it can, but less likely so
Dakini Rhode: sometimes we have no helps (like that extreme example) and seeing is all we have
Pema Pera: Pia, what I meant was: when good friends, say, help us see, then when the friends are not there, we still see — but when good friends help us to feel good, we only feel good when they are there — same for other factors that can help us. It has to lead to seeing to last
Dakini Rhode: yes!
Dakini Rhode: everything else is like a bandaid
Dakini Rhode: or mental tricks
Pema Pera: And when friends recognize in each other the seeing, then they are also far more likely to stay friends — not to get into quarrels and leave ; so it works both ways :)
Dakini Rhode: how can we make ourselves prone to “seeing”?
Pema Pera: we can’t
Dakini Rhode: maybe i asked the question wrong
Pema Pera: but we also try to do, I know all too well myself :)
Pema Pera: I find that the most difficult thing to learn
Pema Pera: to not grasp, try , reach
Pema Pera: for seeing
Pema Pera: but to let seeing see
Pema Pera: Being see
Pema Pera: and every day I learn from all of you
Pema Pera: to not grasp
Pema Pera: both because I witness my own grasping and that of all of yours
Pema Pera: thank you for presenting so many different ways of grasping!!
Pema Pera: :-)
Pia brought up another important point, and both Sky and I responded.
Pia Iger: Pema, I was talking today, that I feel sort of bordom not grasping, or reaching
Pia Iger: no happyness or unhappyness
Pia Iger: no excitements
Pema Pera: yes, that can happen . . . and then the challenge is to continue
Pema Pera: to not give up
Pema Pera: again, PaB is about continuation
Pema Pera: through time tricks and through a community of friends, both
Pema Pera: will help you to continue
Sky Szimmer: grasping, boredom, aversion all different aspects of the self and it is all ok
Sky Szimmer: but who is seeing that there is boredom, or grasping
Pema Pera: in general small happiness stands in the way of big Happiness — and sometimes Happy takes over from happy, all of a sudden; sometimes we drop happy and Happy doesn’t come yet and we feel a bit empty and bored . . . .
Pema Pera: no problem . . .
Pema Pera: just continue . . .
Pema Pera: yes, great question, Sky!
Pema Pera: wonderful koan
Pema Pera: Does that question work for you, Pia?
Pia Iger: I have been thinking about it.
I had used the terms happiness and Happiness in the way Stim sometimes does, using capital letters to point to what transcends the usual dualities. We can judge something to be good as opposed to bad, or we can talk about a fundamental Goodness that is not part of a good-bad pair. In this sense Happiness, Goodness, Gratefulness directly flow from Being as a resource instead of being part of a tug-of-war between opposites.
stevenaia Michinaga: and your definition of big and little happy is .. what, pema?
Pema Pera: Stim’s definition, really
Sky Szimmer: Pema, don’t you think words are a problem? say small happy or big Happy, this often conjures up some expectation of what Big Happy is
Sky Szimmer: then, we are always looking for the big Happy.
Pema Pera: the idea being that when we talk about good and bad, we have two poles, but Good is Good by itself — same with happy and sad vs. Sad
Pema Pera: words are always a problem, Sky
Pema Pera: living is a problem too :)
Pema Pera: yet here we are living and talking
Sylectra Darwin: living is a problem?
Sky Szimmer: for me, I find that some conjured expectation of what is, is always a problem
Pema Pera: you die
Pema Pera: yes, Sky, sorry
Pema Pera: I see what you mean now
Pema Pera: reaching for Happy is impossible
Sky Szimmer: no sorries :)
Pema Pera: doesn’t work
Pema Pera: you can only reach for happy
Pema Pera: Happy is already here
Pema Pera: we have to recognize it
stevenaia Michinaga: but we are all capable of happyness, it;s jsut a matter of not letting things interfere with it
Pema Pera: can’t reach forit
Sky Szimmer: we are always happy.
Pema Pera: yes, Steve, and the people in your nearby community are a geat example
Pema Pera: as you described
Pema Pera: Being is always Happy
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Pema Pera: and when we see enough to be able to recognize Being as a resource
Pema Pera: then we share in Happy
Pema Pera: but for a long time we consider Being as abstract, dont’ know what to make of it
Pema Pera: or we make it into a God
Pema Pera: a parent or something
I had been talking long enough, and Dakini gently took turns.
Dakini Rhode: If I may…
Dakini Rhode: My experience is that Being is a flow, and there is no question of happiness or not happiness of you’re in the flow
Dakini Rhode: so i’m not sure how meaningful it is to me to be looking for a big Happy
Pema Pera: yes, and what Stim meant with “Happy” was what you called “flow”, I think
Pema Pera: words are just labels
Pema Pera: and we all have different associations with the labels
Sylectra Darwin: I am going to try to think of happiness as something you LET happen when you get the other stuff out of the way.
Pema Pera: so we have to be clear what we mean
Pema Pera: that’s a great approach, Syl!
Dakini Rhode: there are things more important to me than happiness
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, a grat start Syl
Sylectra Darwin: ty (smiles)
Pema Pera: yes, Dakini, for sure
stevenaia Michinaga: for clearity, Dakini, what?
Pema Pera: so Happiness may be the wrong label for you then
Sylectra Darwin: One thing that allows me to be happier is to stop thinking so much about myself and my problems and think of things what are more important than me.
Pema Pera: if it reminds you too much of “happiness”
Dakini Rhode: lol Pema
Pema Pera: Joy, grace, openness, clarity — we could give them Capital letters too :)
Sylectra Darwin: lol
Pema Pera: I think Stim just tried to connect to everyday language . . .
Pema Pera: yes, Syl, indeed!
Dakini Rhode: steve, to answer your question, a couple of things - truly seeing reality/emptiness is probably the biggest for me personally, and making a difference for other people is another
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Sylectra Darwin: very nice
Dakini Rhode: and probably those produce “Happiness” but are not a particular goal of mine
Dakini Rhode: i said that wrong
Dakini Rhode: “Happiness” is not a particular goal of mine
Pema Pera: Perhaps the question of happiness is like children who are cute. A child that tries to be cute isn’t. When a child is really cute, there is no intention to be so
Pema Pera: but that is the real cuteness
Dakini Rhode: right and when a child is really cute, naturally so, it opens your heart
Sylectra Darwin: beauty is that way
Pema Pera: yes
We returned to Sky’s earlier point.
Pema Pera: So Sky was right, words mislead us :)
Sylectra Darwin: things which float away on the breeze if you strive too hard for them….
Dakini Rhode: Sky is wise :-)
stevenaia Michinaga: I have been told that whatever this state is, joy, bliss, yes, all those thngs can have that opening and changing affect on people
Sky Szimmer: I just get confuse a lot : )
Dakini Rhode: :-)
Pema Pera: but you gave the answer already, Sky, as a question: who is confused?
Sky Szimmer: problem is, with all these words, they create an image of what Being is, and that is not possible, I think.
Sky Szimmer: don’t think we can imagine Being
Pema Pera: indeed
Pema Pera: it is very very elusive
Pia Iger: I am not trying to imagine
Pema Pera: and yet it is the base of all we do
Pema Pera: of all that is and happens
Pema Pera: or seems to happen
Pema Pera: the light in the projector or movie
Pema Pera: but even much more than that
Pema Pera: images fail here . . . .
Dakini Rhode: well we can see it
Pema Pera: the warmth in anything that occurs
Pema Pera: yes, Dakini?
Dakini Rhode: and when i asked the question about what can we do to make our self prone to seeing….
Dakini Rhode: i truly do think there is something we can do
Dakini Rhode: doing nothing is not the answer
Pema Pera: absolutely!
Dakini Rhode: grasping is also not the answer
Pema Pera: we can step out of the way, as Fael said the other day
Pema Pera: (but that’s only approximately true, a good start)
Pema Pera: (but we can get stuck in that attempt too)
Dakini Rhode: perhaps seeing a glimpse of being is like an accident…
Dakini Rhode: but we can do things to become accident prone
Pema Pera: haha, yes!!!
stevenaia Michinaga: lol
Pema Pera: very nice :_)
Pema Pera: Play as Accident Prone children — PaP
Play as Being as Accident Prone Anonymous?
Dakini Rhode: the particular time i say the interconnectedness of myself and someone who was acting toward me with anger…
Dakini Rhode: in such a way that i felt the greatest compassion for that person
Dakini Rhode: in fact it brought tears to my eyes
Dakini Rhode: it was after a weekend of practicing tong len
Dakini Rhode: a tibetan buddhist practice
Dakini Rhode: the connection wasn’t direct
Dakini Rhode: i didn’t have the experience when i was practicing tong len
Dakini Rhode: it was after
Dakini Rhode: during my normal daily life
Dakini Rhode: but i connected that to the practice
Dakini Rhode: similarly, i think what we do PaBing or whatever transformative practice we do…
Dakini Rhode: can make us “accident” prone
Sylectra Darwin: yes
Pema Pera: yes
Sky Szimmer: I have found that taking apart the self has been a useful practice for me
Sky Szimmer: and fully appreciating and accepting every part of the self as part of the practice
Pema Pera: It is a bit like being presented with the choice Democrat or Republican — or any binary choice. You wonder about a third way. Here, too, grasping doesn’t work and ignoring doesn’t work. What is the third way? Whatever it is, it seems to need continuity. And that’s what PaB provides, leaving the precise choice of third way to all of us open
Sylectra Darwin: I’m sorry but I must go - please excuse me
Pema Pera: bye Syl!
Sylectra Darwin: thank you all
Pema Pera: yes, Sky, that’s essential
Pia Iger: night, Syl
Sylectra Darwin: take care
Syl took off, and Dakini and I found ourselves in a friendly PaB ping pong :-)
Pema Pera: appreciation rather than denial or suppression
Dakini Rhode: yes
Pema Pera: reaching for one thing implies denying or suppressing something else
Pema Pera: the third way doesn’t do that
Pema Pera: appreciation is core in any third way
Pema Pera: love, compassion, all that
stevenaia Michinaga: and acceptance
Pema Pera: yes, to oneself and others equally
Pema Pera: no false pride no false shame
Dakini Rhode: all we really need to do…
Dakini Rhode: is see that shame pride and the situations that cause them to arise
Dakini Rhode: are not ultimately real
Dakini Rhode: and release them
Dakini Rhode: (sounds easy)
Pema Pera: yes, seeing that
Dakini Rhode: it is easy actually
Pema Pera: true seeing implies release
Pema Pera: yes!
Pema Pera: that’s the joke
Dakini Rhode: it’s like a snowball rolling downhill
Dakini Rhode: once you see how easy it is it gets more easy
Dakini Rhode: it becomes a natural reaction
Pema Pera: yes, exponential growth :)
Pema Pera: Fael even build a graph here for that!
Sky Szimmer: it does sound easy but not easy to do at all. so much brain washing is in place and so many things we regard as part of self
Dakini Rhode: oh yes the math angle
Dakini Rhode: yes but those things are not ultimately real
Pema Pera: yes, Sky, but saying that makes it more difficult . . . .
Pema Pera: on one level you are right
Pema Pera: but on a deeper level you are wrong . . . .
Pema Pera: ;)
Pema Pera: both
Dakini Rhode: and too, to say they are not ultimately real
Pema Pera: you have a choice
Dakini Rhode: could be wrong in a way
Pema Pera: yes
Dakini Rhode: if it seems like denial
Pema Pera: anything we say can be misinterpreted
Dakini Rhode: or seems like nihilism
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: we talk like brother and sister, Dak :)
Pema Pera: hehe
Dakini Rhode: right
Dakini Rhode: lol Pema
Sky brought up a very practical concern.
Sky Szimmer: yes. of course we can say it is all a dream and it is but sometimes, that doesn’t make it easier to deal with what is thrown in your face
Pema Pera: it depends
Pema Pera: IF we can take the problem at a high level, great!
Pema Pera: If not, you deal with it on a lower level
Sky Szimmer: sometimes, it maybe too high to reach
Pema Pera: it is good to have a toolbox
Pema Pera: an arsenal
Sky Szimmer: sometimes, it may be necessary to take it down a notch
Sky Szimmer: but that maybe just me
Pema Pera: my experience, personally, is that I used to find myself switching levels, so to speak, once a week or so
Pema Pera: then once a day
Pema Pera: then once an hour
Pema Pera: then once a minute
Dakini Rhode: I think you’re right Sky
Pema Pera: and now typically once a second or so
Pema Pera: same idea
Dakini Rhode: people don’t actually skip levels of maturation
Pema Pera: just becomes more easy and flexible
Dakini Rhode: i think i’m just getting old….
Dakini Rhode: haha
Pema Pera: hahaha
Dakini Rhode: i just seem to hold a lot of things more lightly than i did
Sky Szimmer: I have found the website pathwaytohappiness.com useful. it is about seeing what the self is up to and what archetypes we have conjured up to deal with life
Pema Pera: problem is: everyone can do this, really, and maturity is not necessarily, really — yet maturity makes it easier . . . so both are true
Dakini Rhode: well the practice of letting go of thoughts…
Dakini Rhode: is key
Sky Szimmer: all techniques are just tools ultimately but the more we see what the self is up to, the more we can just be
Pema Pera: yes
Sky Szimmer: anymore, just wanted to throw that out there.
Dakini Rhode: thank you, sky
I threw out another mathematical metaphor, of coordinate systems, and Dakini seemed to take it literally, levitating again to a higher level.
Pema Pera: so all the contradictory things we say here are all true . . . but like in different coordinate systems, lke on a map of the Earth
Pema Pera: we have to know which coordinate frame we are using
Pema Pera: and we switch all the time.
Dakini Rhode: i can relate to that…
Pema Pera: One moment we feel angry and we are caught in anger
Dakini Rhode: lol i just switched
Pema Pera: and the next moment we can laugh about it
Pema Pera: yes, Dakini took the example very serious!!!
Pema Pera: at first we are angry for a day
Pema Pera: then the next day we wake up and laugh — or perhaps it takes a week or month
Pema Pera: then perhaps an hour or a minute
Pema Pera: and we can learn to dance with coordinate frames
Pema Pera: switching a few times a second
Pema Pera: How is that for you, Steve
Pema Pera: Do you feel ALWAYS happy
stevenaia Michinaga: thinking
Pema Pera: and undisturbed?
Pema Pera: or is there quick adjustment
Pema Pera: like bicycling
Pema Pera: falling this way and that but correcting?
stevenaia Michinaga: actually, on that point, the more emotion that;s brought to bear on a situation, being usually less productive, the more ammusing things appear to me
Dakini Rhode: oh that reminds me of my son….
Dakini Rhode: lol
Dakini Rhode: he could not keep a straight face if i were to get angry
Pema Pera: even when you would be tortured, you think, Steve?
Pema Pera: lol, Dakini!
stevenaia Michinaga: like rowing upstream rather than letting the currents take you
Dakini Rhode: he would try really hard, too
stevenaia Michinaga: I’ll let you know, Pema
stevenaia Michinaga: like laughing yourself out of a bad situation
stevenaia Michinaga: a change of perspective results
stevenaia Michinaga: my child tortures me daily, I have compation for him and myself, we both move on
Dakini Rhode: lol steve
Pema Pera: yes, if you can do that, great — question is what if you can’t — I wouldn’t know the answer for myself . . .
Pema Pera: . . . I would know where to look though
stevenaia Michinaga: if you can;t, then you cannot change , until you do you cannot be happy or forgive or accept
Sky Szimmer: that it is a really really bad dream and it’s all ok.
Dakini Rhode: those people who felt compassion for their tormentors… were very realized beings… and even in the Jewish concentration camps this happened
Pema Pera: yes, Sky
Pema Pera: And if I may . . .
This reminded me of a book I had read that had made a profound impression on me.
Pema Pera: about concentration camps
Pema Pera: there is the example of Jean Am�,Ai�(Bry
Pema Pera: has anybody read his book?
stevenaia Michinaga: no
Pema Pera: Jewish, born in Austria
Pema Pera: wound up in a Nazi camp, survived
Pema Pera: He described how he tried to talk with a famous philosopher
Pema Pera: who was also in the same camp
Pema Pera: he risked his life at night sneaking to the other barrack
Pema Pera: where the philsopher was
Pema Pera: at the risk of his life
Pema Pera: asking the philosopher: what does this all mean
Pema Pera: the philosopher said something like: don’t bother me, nothing of what I have taught is of any use here
Pema Pera: but then Jean added
Dakini Rhode: ah yes but Jean had the right question
Pema Pera: that there were two groups of people that could handle the situation
Pema Pera: not the intellectuals to which he belonged
Pema Pera: but the Christians and the Communists could — at least some of them
Pema Pera: because they saw the situation from a different level
Pema Pera: the struggle of the proletariat
Pema Pera: and grace
Pema Pera: in both cases beyond the small self
Pema Pera: and he was amazed and it was like a koan for him
Pema Pera: couldn’t buy into either
Pema Pera: yet saw that his own reasonable attitude was bankrupt
Pema Pera: Yes, Dakini he had the right question
Pema Pera: but sadly did not see the answer . . . .
Pema Pera: became bitter
Dakini Rhode: i think if you can stay with the question….
Dakini Rhode: which must have been incredibly difficult btw
Pema Pera: he committed suicide in the end in 1978
Dakini Rhode: that is hard
Pema Pera: of course, yes
Pema Pera: but sad since he came so close . . .
Dakini Rhode: b/c i want to think life can provide the answer
Dakini Rhode: if you look
Dakini Rhode: question and look
We were back to seeing! But by now the session had gone on for more than an hour and a half, two and a half when adding the zen sitting and the Hikari tour, and we started to leave.
Sky Szimmer: thanks everyone. got to run.
Dakini Rhode: by Sky
Pema Pera: bye Sky
stevenaia Michinaga: nice meeting you Sky
Pema Pera: and yes, I have to too :)
Dakini Rhode: and yes i have to too
Dakini Rhode: great chat!
Pema Pera: 2 x to too
stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for the evening
Pema Pera: yes, wonderful
Pema Pera: thank you all so much!
Pema Pera: It’s so amazing how much we can learn from each other
Pema Pera: every day here
Pema Pera: bye Steve, Pia, Dakini!
Dakini Rhode: really amazing, considering the limitations of chat
Pia Iger: bye, all.
Dakini Rhode: bye
Pema Pera: yes, or because of?
Pema Pera: hard to say
Dakini Rhode: one of those questions…
Pema Pera: probably both :)
Pema Pera: in some way
Dakini Rhode: :)
Dakini Rhode: well you do get time to think…
Dakini Rhode: with all the delays
Pema Pera: peaceful
Pema Pera: invitation to being pithy
Dakini Rhode: :)
Pema Pera: funny thing is, don’t like sound bites, love haikus — now what’s the difference?
Pema Pera: that was a sound bit :)
Pema Pera: *bite
Dakini Rhode: i’ll bite
Dakini Rhode: what’s the difference?
Pema Pera: difference between sound bites (considered bad) and haikus (considered good)
Dakini Rhode: (by Pema)
Pema Pera: ( :) )
Dakini Rhode: ;p;
Dakini Rhode: oops typing in the dar
Pema Pera: ?
Pema Pera: ;p; looks like having a cold
stevenaia Michinaga: night
Pema Pera: dripping from eyes and nose
Dakini Rhode: lol
Dakini Rhode: it was supposed to be lol
Pema Pera: hahaha
Pema Pera: saying goodbye in SL can take a while . . . .
Pema Pera: okay, . . . goodbye!
Dakini Rhode: night
Dakini would later send me the following few lines, ending the session:
Pema Pera is Offline
Dakini Rhode: that is going to be one loooong blog
Pia Iger: yes. I am glad I am here, don’t have to read it from scratch.
