2008.08.09 01:00 - Being authentic

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Fael Illyar. The comments are Fael's. (Still more to be added)

     I had bumped into Gaya a bit before the meeting and we arrived at the pavilion at the same time.

     Gaya Ethaniel: Hi Faenik. This is Bubbly. He says 'Hello'.
    Faenik: Hello Bubbly.
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Faenik: Nice to see you again, Gaya.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Had to change my makeup to complement Bubbly
    Fael Illyar: you found a floating dish from somewhere I see :)
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
    Faenik: ah :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Lovely to see you again Faenik. Pleasure is all mine.

    Quilty pops in but, alas, cannot stay.

    Fael Illyar: Hi Quilty :)
    Quilty Bookmite: Hi Fael and Gaya.
    Quilty Bookmite: Can't stay I'm afraid. Sorry.
    Fael Illyar: no problem :)
    Fael Illyar: Lots of people pasing through morning :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: np Quilty. Good day to you.
    Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
    Gaya Ethaniel wonders why she can't see Quilty
    Fael Illyar: He left already

    Gaya starts reminiscing about how she found PaB. (triggered by someone just "passing through" whom I greeted but erased from the log since she didn't stay for long enough to ask for permission)

    Gaya Ethaniel: I thought about how I got into the pavillion first time
    Gaya Ethaniel: Think it was you who said hi and I was surprised and walked in. (Didn't know about radar back then)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Felt rude to just walk away
    Fael Illyar: :)
    Fael Illyar: useful things these radars :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Shame I didn't have records of my early days in SL
    Gaya Ethaniel: don't*
    Fael Illyar: me neither, unfortunately.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Actually I don't want radars you know...
    Fael Illyar: you don't want one or do you mean you'd prefer no-one had?
    Gaya Ethaniel: I don't want any. For others, up to them.
    Gaya Ethaniel: I want to leave things to chances as much as possible
    Gaya Ethaniel: well 'chances'
    Fael Illyar: those still happen :)
    Fael Illyar: depending on how you use the radar, perhaps more :)
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Gaya Ethaniel: Me not having a radar add more 'chances' in a way

    My radar showed Tahuti arriving in chat range.

    Fael Illyar: Hi Tahuti :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
    Gaya Ethaniel: to me and to others perhaps
    Tahuti Thor: hi
    Faenik: why not?

    I didn't feel like I quite understood what Gaya meant so I do my normal attempt at saying my best guess aloud. No matter how unlikely I think it is.

    Fael Illyar: If you would run away more if you knew who is near, perhaps, yes. Or am I missing something?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hm... rather than running away I'd say it'd be something to do with me not using radars throw in different aspects to my and others' interactions around my usual groups as most of people I know tend to have radars
    Fael Illyar: Ah, in that way :)
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Fael Illyar: myself, I use a radar because it allows me to be aware of who is close enough to hear what I say.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes seems to be main reasons for people here
    Fael Illyar: It's also useful for seeing at a glance if there are any people you know close by.
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Fael Illyar: I can see if there are people with the minimap but not who :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah
    Gaya Ethaniel: Guess I'm just not bothered whether people walking by hear what I say or not unless in IM
    Gaya Ethaniel: Ah learnt something the other day about IM
    Gaya Ethaniel: Apparently IMing is whispering?
    Fael Illyar: if you're in chat range of each other, then sort of, yes
    Faenik: indeed?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Didn't see it that way...
    Gaya Ethaniel: But then I guess it is...
    Fael Illyar: with the exception that it's completely invisible whispering.
    Fael Illyar: well, unless others around you pay attention to what you don't do :)
    Fael Illyar: which is a bit hard, really :)
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Fael Illyar: but doable
    Gaya Ethaniel: Sorry Tahuti, I've been going on about non-PaB stuff here

    It seems Tahuti wasn't quite there. Also, it was time for PaB subject so, here we go.

    Fael Illyar: Tahuti, are you there?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hm... maybe we lost him
    Fael Illyar: Could be :)
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Fael Illyar: It's interesting how there is a training period that follows realizing things to train yourself to act accordingly. Well, at least for me.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Pls say more?
    Faenik: ah :)
    Fael Illyar: Well, I realized it's perfectly fine to have attachments but I have to keep reminding myself of that every now and then. Shortly after I realized it, it was, at times, every second almost.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Every second?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Ah... this reminds me of something I discussed in PaB before
    Fael Illyar: I guess it's got to do with "old habits die hard".
    Gaya Ethaniel: 'auto pilot' - eventually it will become natural. You remember what I said about 'programming one's brain'? That's what I meant
    Fael Illyar: Yes, the same thing, more or less :)
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Fael Illyar: after some training it will be on auto pilot that won't need that much watching.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes so now you don't see what I said negatively I hope re: 'programming'
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah brb
    Fael Illyar: Did I see it negatively at the time?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Postman back
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes you said 'I don't programme myself or my brain' something like that
    Fael Illyar: hmmh, I must have understood that very differently from what you meant.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Perhaps yes
    Fael Illyar: But I can't recall how I understood it at the time anymore.
    Faenik is a hairy black ball with eyes and ears.
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you New Note.

    Unfortunately, as the note with the chat log isn't about just me and Gaya, I can't include it here.

    Gaya Ethaniel: It's ok to see and try to understand the past but best not to feel emotionally attached to it I guess
    Fael Illyar: Ah, it was about not programming myself with phrases.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Having an insight into the past helps I think
    Gaya Ethaniel: 'programming' yes like we say hello to people 'automatically' when meeting
    Gaya Ethaniel: Children learn to say hi, pls and thank you and later those things become 'natural'
    Fael Illyar: It can be a natural reaction or it can be 'forced' automatic.
    Fael Illyar: which it was for me for many years
    Fael Illyar: it still happened but not because I wanted to do it.
    Gaya Ethaniel: I believe if it's absolutely necessary it'd be ok to 'force' just to be polite. I felt at the time it was (was wrong to an extent looking back as some people wants to be authentic in dealing with others)
    Fael Illyar: It's an issue of honesty.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Though it's almost like me saying 'I'm well thank you' to 'How are you' from strangers even when I'm not really well. I'm being polite here and appreciate the other's question but it's not so much about being authentic
    Fael Illyar: for me at least
    Tahuti Thor: hmm

    Something I forgot to mention here but being non authentic is something I tend to want to avoid. But what would life be without conflicting wants? (more comments to come when I have time.)

    Gaya Ethaniel: Things can be a little blurr and grey for me... if I feel that I want to assure the other
    Gaya Ethaniel: My want to comfort the other over myself being totally honest with my feelings
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes Tahuti?
    Fael Illyar: I was taught to be honest but I was also taught to greet people which, to me, were things at direct confrontation.
    Faenik: ah :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: I can be honest with my feelings yes 'internally' and this doesn't prevent me to say things to comfort the other... somehow such situations are not a conflict to me
    Fael Illyar: Eventually, being taught to be honest won and I ended up often leaving greetings out.
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah Fael... not sure what to say to that one...
    Fael Illyar: It's an interesting dilemma ;)
    Gaya Ethaniel nudges Tahuti
    Fael Illyar: That's what happens when you are taught things as absolutes that are not. Well, at least ... in my case it wasn't.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Don't follow that one, please rephrase
    Faenik: なるほど^^
    Fael Illyar: On one hand, it wasn't acceptable to lie and on the other hand it wasn't acceptable to not greet people.
    Fael Illyar: And the way I was back then, I didn't want to greet people.
    Fael Illyar: well, most people
    Fael Illyar: Hi Wol :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... why do you see greetings when not feeling like it as a lie? They are just a social norm/code we observe as we live together
    Wol Euler: good morning!
    Fael Illyar: Greeting has a message.
    Gaya Ethaniel: In that sense, no such additional emotions to attach to them
    Gaya Ethaniel: It can be neutral also
    Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
    Fael Illyar: It conveys that you wish to exchange some words.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes simply good day and good day
    Fael Illyar: even if just the greetings
    Wol Euler thinks it conveys principally a recognition that the other is a fellow human.
    Fael Illyar: but it opens up the possibility of more.
    Gaya Ethaniel: If someone we know well and want to talk more, we can say differently
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes exactly that's why we say hello :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: That's the beauty of it
    Gaya Ethaniel: Your radar caught me and you said hello to me when I first came here
    Gaya Ethaniel: Did you mean it?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Does it matter?
    Gaya Ethaniel: You're my friend now :)
    Fael Illyar: My view on greetings is a bit different nowadays.
    Fael Illyar: Also, that hello actually did mean I'd like to talk.
    Gaya Ethaniel nods at Wol
    Gaya Ethaniel: It's like ah I see you isn't it Wol?
    Wol Euler nods.
    Gaya Ethaniel: So depends on who you are greeting yes Fael?
    Fael Illyar: Well, after yesterday, I might just be able to mean it with almost anyone.
    Wol Euler: ah :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: We can invest as much and as little in the greetings. It's our choice. But the actual saying of hello is valuable to all of us.
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah
    Gaya Ethaniel: That's great
    Fael Illyar: But I just realized I expressed something a bit wrong about my explanation
    Fael Illyar: It doesn't signify wanting to talk but it signifies you don't mind talking.
    Faenik: ah :)
    Wol Euler: In RL one handles that distinction by smiling and waving and _walking on past_
    Gaya Ethaniel: Not sure everyone has such expectations Fael. When I say hello at work for example. It's just that... brb
    Fael Illyar: the situations I was forced to say hello it was rather unacceptable to walk past :)
    Wol Euler: oh, indeed, that only works if you get in _first_ :_)
    Wol Euler: it's tricky ariving in mid-conversation, I hope I have got the thread right.
    Fael Illyar: you're on the thread allright :)
    Wol Euler: and I look forward to reading yesterday's logs!
    Fael Illyar: I was talking about how I was taught to be honest and also how I was taught to greet people.
    Fael Illyar: something from many many years ago :)
    Wol Euler: mmhmm
    Fael Illyar: I was rather much more unsocial back then.
    Fael Illyar: greeting people felt like lying because ... well, i did not want to talk to them.
    Wol Euler nods. And being required to do so surely did not help taht feeling.
    Fael Illyar: most often I didn't want to even be there but ...
    Fael Illyar: Well, it's rather complex :)
    Wol Euler: I think most children feel that much of the time. I certainly did, wishing my parents would stop draggig me around and just let me read.
    Fael Illyar: sounds familiar :)
    Wol Euler: and I still prefer a good book to a bad party!
    Faenik: ah :)
    Fael Illyar: It's been a few years since I was at a party with mostly people I don't know :P
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Fael Illyar: or even barely know
    Fael Illyar: somehow tended to be necessary for me to know someone to feel comfortable being with them.
    Wol Euler nods
    Gaya Ethaniel: back (reading...)
    Wol Euler: wb
    Fael Illyar: wb :)
    Fael Illyar: Well, now that the ego wall is dealt with (hopefully), I might be finally able to concentrate on others instead of myself :P
    Fael Illyar: it was an interesting experience in bed trying to sleep noticing what I was thinking about.
    Gaya Ethaniel: ty
    Fael Illyar: Almost entirely about others. Very little about me (except indirectly)
    Fael Illyar: sort of felt like there is no me to think about.
    Wol Euler: hmmmm
    Fael Illyar: self awareness is still there but ...
    Gaya Ethaniel: In my experience similar to yours, I was thinking about 'us'
    Gaya Ethaniel: all of us
    Gaya Ethaniel: incl me
    Fael Illyar: might sound a bit disturbing but at one point I had an imaginary scene of being killed and not feeling disturbed by it.
    Fael Illyar: overactive imagination, certainly :P
    Wol Euler chuckles
    Faenik: indeed?
    Gaya Ethaniel is thinking back
    Fael Illyar: Yes, indeed :P
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes did you read my blog on the surreal exhibition I saw?
    Fael Illyar: ah, no, I haven't read any blogs today
    Fael Illyar: yet
    Gaya Ethaniel: Let me get it. This may ring a bell for you about 'killing'
    Gaya Ethaniel: http://www.tate.org.uk/servlet/Colle...=2&roomid=4257
    Gaya Ethaniel: In this film, the girl wakes up from the dream just as one of herself is trying to kill sleeping her
    Fael Illyar: sounds ... umm, interesting, for some reason :)
    Wol Euler: very interesting.
    Gaya Ethaniel: She dreams of herself multipling in the dream, chasing this 'being' faceless figure
    Gaya Ethaniel: It repeats continuiously as she watches and repeat chasing
    Gaya Ethaniel: Eventually the house key she uses to return home after chasing changes into a knife
    Gaya Ethaniel: then she sees one of herself approaching her with the knife with intention to kill
    Gaya Ethaniel: She wakes up and see her 'lover, bf or husband or whomever' waking her up
    Fael Illyar: sounds like a symbolization of the process that goes on in our minds when we're judging ourselves.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Was 'surreal' alright but somehow that day it just made more sense and I didn't have so much bizzrre feelings I used to about 'surrealist' works
    Gaya Ethaniel: Perhaps yes
    Fael Illyar: After yesterday, I can see pretty clearly that I still had a judge in my mind.
    Gaya Ethaniel: oh?
    Fael Illyar: I had thought it gone ages ago but it was just hiding from me
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah...
    Wol Euler nods. They do taht.
    Fael Illyar: or more like integrated with me.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Did you see the victim too?
    Fael Illyar: no victim
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... that's somewhat interesting
    Gaya Ethaniel: I'm guessing you are the victim yourself.. but you somehow didn't see that
    Fael Illyar: no, I was the judge
    Gaya Ethaniel: ok
    Gaya Ethaniel: who were you judging then?
    Fael Illyar: and the victim... in an inseparable way I think
    Fael Illyar: or was there.
    Fael Illyar: I'll have to think :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: yes that's what i mean. you were both victim and judge
    Fael Illyar: I couldn't tell a difference at least.
    Fael Illyar: it didn't feel like someone else judging.
    Fael Illyar: and I never visualized it
    Gaya Ethaniel: did you manage to step back and see?
    Gaya Ethaniel: 'see'
    Fael Illyar: I can see that it was now that I'm probably finally (hopefully) rid of it.
    Faenik: ah :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: For me it's always a bit of dips here and there... never really rid of it. I'm guessing it's the nature of myself being human
    Fael Illyar: but it was a sneaky judge. It never pushed me to a corner and forced me to see it.
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... a clever one
    Fael Illyar: So, it was less agressive than my sister's
    Gaya Ethaniel: I can see that yes
    Gaya Ethaniel: So you were comfortable with it until yesterday
    Fael Illyar: That's a tricky one to answer
    Gaya Ethaniel: Identified with it?
    Fael Illyar: yes, that's probably the 'self' that was called "I".
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes I found myself siding with my victim once
    Gaya Ethaniel: once too*
    Fael Illyar: In a way, you've all met my Judge :)
    Fael Illyar: talked a lot too
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Wol Euler smles
    Gaya Ethaniel sees Fael's judge on a high horse
    Fael Illyar: but it might be gone now.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Never gone... I don't think Fael
    Gaya Ethaniel: It's like your wall
    Gaya Ethaniel: But then maybe you're enlightened now and so no judge :P
    Wol Euler: it may bow to "your" authority now, though, and know when its judgement is not required.
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Fael Illyar: Yes, could be
    Gaya Ethaniel: You have ability to invest your emotions into it or not
    Fael Illyar: learned to stand aside.
    Wol Euler nods
    Fael Illyar: strangely, willingly.
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Faenik loves wells!
    Gaya Ethaniel: I still have the image of child at times
    Gaya Ethaniel: less than before though
    Gaya Ethaniel: I'm not really worried about it appearing again and that's important to me
    Gaya Ethaniel: I accept that I can be a big 'sulk' sometimes :P
    Fael Illyar: I read the Ox hunting picture page someone linked to me a couple days back.
    Fael Illyar: It's funny how it feels my progress is somehow backwards.
    Wol Euler raises an eyebrow
    Fael Illyar: Instead of self looking for the Ox, it feels like it's the Ox who trained the self.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hm... I want to do raising eyebrow emoticon
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Fael Illyar: http://www.sanbo-zen.org/cow_e.html
    Wol Euler: if you make the animation, I'll be your first customer!
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes with a little boy playing a flute... it's an iconic image in Asia
    Fael Illyar: there's an explanation about each picture. Describing the process
    Fael Illyar: I've read 7 of them so far and when I was reading, I wasn't quite sure where to place myself.
    Fael Illyar: which stage
    Fael Illyar: every stage felt like it resonated with my experiences.
    Gaya Ethaniel: http://www.koreafilm.org/feature/100_83.asp - recommend this film
    Wol Euler looks
    Gaya Ethaniel doesn't know how to make animations yet
    Gaya Ethaniel is reading the page Fael sent
    Faenik: why not?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Think it's because we are in constant fluctuation and changes Fael
    Wol Euler: that sounds fascinating, Gaya, thank you.
    Fael Illyar: Yes, looks like it might be an interesting film to watch, thank you :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: yw :) beautiful visual-wise
    Wol Euler: and very relevant to our discussions here too
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Fael Illyar: Yes, now if I can actually find it somewhere :)
    Wol Euler: aye, that will be the rub.
    Gaya Ethaniel: So what do you think Fael about my comment above? [2:22] You: Think it's because we are in constant fluctuation and changes Fael
    Faenik loves wells!
    Fael Illyar: Well, most likely :)
    Fael Illyar: Every page resonated with me in part but each also had things that didn't.
    Fael Illyar: that was before yesterday's realization though
    Gaya Ethaniel: Of course we are slightly diff from one another with our conditioned background and experiences
    Fael Illyar: it's an interesting read though :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: It's an very old film... if I see one in Korea with English subtitle, I will probably buy it so then I can lend it to you if you want.
    Fael Illyar: Ok, thank you :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: you too Wol I will remember it :)
    Wol Euler: thank you! I was just writing down title and director,, to have a look in my local art-film place :-)
    Gaya Ethaniel: yes best bet
    Gaya Ethaniel: You will see the child monk on a ox in that :)
    Fael Illyar: hehe :)
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Fael Illyar: symbolic I guess.
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Wol Euler: (and suddenly the rain pours down! so much for going downtown today)
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah sorry to hear. Sunny with small amount of clouds here today
    Wol Euler shrugs. A change is good too. I am so bored by the perpetual blue sky of SL.
    Gaya Ethaniel wish Dakini or Storm is here to bring on rain
    Fael Illyar: Well, there's the environment editor :)
    Wol Euler: heheheh, yes, I should try it instead of just complaining.
    Faenik: why not?
    Gaya Ethaniel: I did get something hang on
    Wol Euler: ha! wonderful! thank you Gaya.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Very welcome
    Fael Illyar: Ah, rain :)
    Gaya Ethaniel better not type now... can't type and hold umbrella upright at the same time
    Wol Euler: might poke Fael.
    Fael Illyar: Quite well done :)
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Fael Illyar: why poke me? :P
    Gaya Ethaniel ah!
    Wol Euler: ith the spokes
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Wol Euler: actually, you can suppress the typing anim and sound by putting a "/ " at the start of the line.
    Gaya Ethaniel: / great
    Wol Euler smiles
    Gaya Ethaniel: / Bubbly looks happy
    Wol Euler: Bubbly the fish?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yeah he's called 'Bubbly'
    Gaya Ethaniel: Let him have some water here
    Wol Euler: I've been admiring hmi :-)
    Gaya Ethaniel: ty :)
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Orange Ragged Fish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Look how he adores me :) Cirumambulating me like that
    Gaya Ethaniel: Worshipping!
    Gaya Ethaniel: I just saw something else
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Gaya Ethaniel: nice Is this yours Fael?
    Fael Illyar: Yep :)
    Fael Illyar: I've got a whole load of them :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Nice
    Fael Illyar: different kinds
    (7S) Common Fish: Teal Ragged Fish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Show us some more then?
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Plum Frill Seahorse: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Wol Euler: ooooh
    (7S) Rare Fish: Shift Jellyfish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Blue Heart Seahorse: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    (7S) Common Fish: Yellow Flounder: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Blue Catfish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Wol Euler kicks SL to speed up hte rezzing
    (7S) Common Fish: Magenta Betta: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Purple Jellyfish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Puffer Fish: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Wol Euler: back, ty gaya
    Gaya Ethaniel: Fael I want to take one more hang on
    Wol Euler chuckles at Fael's aquarium
    (7S) Uncommon Fish: Red Betta: Your pet swims happily around you. (Click your pet for a menu of options!)
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    Gaya Ethaniel: This one better than the second one :)
    Fael Illyar: more fishies :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Wol come and sit by me pls
    Gaya Ethaniel: ok i'm going to take a final picture promise
    Wol Euler smiles
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    Gaya Ethaniel: So last two are better I think
    Fael Illyar: I took one too, I'll upload it to the wiki I think :)
    Fael Illyar: remind me if I forget
    Gaya Ethaniel smiles
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Gaya Ethaniel: k
    Wol Euler: thank yo, Gaya. those are good.
    Gaya Ethaniel: yw :)
    Fael Illyar: Strange, the snapshot doesn't look like what I see on my screen.
    Gaya Ethaniel: oh?
    Gaya Ethaniel: yours?
    Fael Illyar: mine doesn't. Yours looks different too.
    Wol Euler: well, it will be her viewer's rendition of hte scene.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Mine look same as I saw on screen
    Fael Illyar: Oh, If I take higher resolution than I have on my screen, glow effect and some others don't work.
    Gaya Ethaniel: erk technie stuff
    Fael Illyar: Well, it's noticeable difference :)
    Wol Euler: :-)
    Gaya Ethaniel: I remember changing resolution down so that I don't crash
    Gaya Ethaniel: taking down*
    Fael Illyar: look at my wings from the front, I'll play around with the glow effect.
    Gaya Ethaniel: looking
    Gaya Ethaniel: looks same
    Fael Illyar: oh, your system can't do it it seems
    Gaya Ethaniel: my setting is at lowest
    Gaya Ethaniel: Qulity and Performance under Graphics Preference is at 'Low'
    Gaya Ethaniel: Do I need to change this to see the glows?
    Fael Illyar: yes you need basic shaders
    Gaya Ethaniel: How high should I set it?
    Fael Illyar: not high, click a checkmark on the custom
    Fael Illyar: then checkmark on basic shaders
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah wow
    Gaya Ethaniel: apologies another snap
    Gaya Ethaniel: wol's looking to side
    Wol Euler: ooooooh
    Gaya Ethaniel: wol try to look front pls
    Gaya Ethaniel is being pushy
    Wol Euler: wol's trying not to.
    Wol Euler: good gods, this is killing my system. Down to 0.2 fps
    Wol Euler: I have to turn it off
    Fael Illyar: yes, it can be a bit heavy
    Gaya Ethaniel: Do you want me to turn rain off now?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Fael did you get the snap?
    Wol Euler: I shall have to leave for lunch any munite now (timer), sorry
    Gaya Ethaniel: OK have a good day Wol
    Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
    Wol Euler: bye for now, take care, see you later!
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    Fael Illyar: See you later Wol :)
    Fael Illyar: Yes I did.
    Fael Illyar: Sorry, I'm a bit distracted by RL now. My mother came over
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah that's ok :)
    Gaya Ethaniel is taking another snap lol
    Fael Illyar: Well, I need to move my attention to RL completely it seems.
    Gaya Ethaniel: last one!
    Gaya Ethaniel gave you Snapshot : The Pavilion for Play as Being, Rieul (176, 145, 75).
    Gaya Ethaniel: Sure
    Gaya Ethaniel: How do I turn rain off?
    Fael Illyar: you rezzed a rainball
    Fael Illyar: you can see it if you toggle show transparent with ctrl-alt-t
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah thanks
    Gaya Ethaniel: Fael's afk
    Gaya Ethaniel: at the moment
    Fael Illyar: I'm sorry but, I'll be afk from now on, apologies.
    Fael Illyar: RL is taking over my time now
    Gaya Ethaniel: Sure Fael no worries

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