2008.10.26 07:00 - Listening to the Quiet Mind

Adams Rubble was the guardian and responsible for the comments. There have been a few times when I have gone through a day or more of turmoil, began to se a resolution and was able to work them out in a session. Today is one of those sessions except that I also was guardian and I am doing the comments (I have a picture I will add later)

I was running a bit late and rushed online and to the pavilion arriving about one minute late due to fast connections

Geo Netizen: Good morning Abigail
Adams Rubble: pant pant. Here I am ready for duty. Hi Geo and Wol :)

I had passed Wol on the way in and thought she was already in the pavilion but she came in right after me. Geo was the first to address me with the "Abigail" on my tag; I hadn;t yet changed to my Play-as_being Guardian tag

Adams Rubble: Thank you Geo but I must change my tag :)
Geo Netizen: Hi Wol
Wol Euler: hello geo, adams
Adams Rubble: Hello Wol :)
Wol Euler: did you sleep?

Wol had spent some time with me yesterday (my afternoon, late for her) and I had reached the conclusions I originally blogged. But then those conclusions started to fall apart and I had staggered into the 1 am session where Wol and Corvi had patiently listened to me struggling to understand what was happening to me. Now I began to put together the thoughts I began to see in my blog. I was understanding as I was typing

Adams Rubble: About the same but I have had some insights
Wol Euler: am!
Wol Euler: *h
Adams Rubble: Geo, last night I couldn;t sleep and Wol and Corvi listened to me rant
Geo Netizen: I'm all ears ...
Wol Euler chuckles and makes shushing gestures.
Adams Rubble: Wol, a few weeks, months ago, as I began to see my inner self, the person that Nisargatdatta refers to as the person who was there at birth and will be there at death...

First I began to recall (somewhat imperfectly) a similar experience with my "self"...

Adams Rubble: my self offered a compromise
Wol Euler: ooh
Adams Rubble: at that time Adams was a representation of my self when I was about 16 or 17
Adams Rubble: my self wanted me to accept that person and be happy with it
Wol Euler nods
Adams Rubble: Somehow I saw through that
Adams Rubble: Don't remember how

And relating the previous experience to this...

Adams Rubble: Now my RL self and SL self are involved in a very elaborate collaboration to totally confuse things it seems
Wol Euler: heheheheheh
Geo Netizen nods
Adams Rubble: It began to happen after I had that feeling or vision of a grand space
Adams Rubble: Then I had the dream about my RL and SL selves living a parallel existence
Adams Rubble: since then I have been chasing that tail
Adams Rubble: It seems so complicated when it should be so simple
Geo Netizen nods
Wol Euler chuckles. Show me the paragraph in the fine print where it says that life should be simple.
Adams Rubble: :)
Wol Euler: (sorry)
Adams Rubble: hehe
Adams Rubble: In Nisargadattian terms :)
Wol Euler: ah.
Wol Euler: (I've ordered "I am", btw, I'd heard so much about it I felt I ought to read the thing)
Adams Rubble: :)
Wol Euler: can we back up a step though?
Adams Rubble: yes?
Wol Euler: [7:05] Adams Rubble: my self wanted me to accept that person and be happy with it
[7:06] Wol Euler nods
[7:06] Adams Rubble: Somehow I saw through that
Wol Euler: what does "saw through" mean? what did you discover it to be?
Adams Rubble: At that time I was prevented (or preventing) from seeing my basic person, my inner mind, so to say
Adams Rubble: I was seeing my identities
Wol Euler: oh, I thought you meant that *** realized that the deal was a crooked one.
Adams Rubble: *** is a term I use for my RL self
Wol Euler: mm, true, one takes so much for granted in these long-term conversations :)
Adams Rubble: sorry
Wol Euler shakes her head. I was the one who used the term without explaining it.

Moon then arrived

Wol Euler: anyway.
Adams Rubble: Hello Moon :)
Adams Rubble: anyway?
Moon Fargis: greetings!
Geo Netizen: Hi Moon
Wol Euler: hello moon, welcome.
Wol Euler: "anyway" in the sense of "ok, let's continue" ;-)
Adams Rubble: yes, I have brought you up to date in my thinking about it :)
Adams Rubble: I thank you Wol for listening to me run in circles the last two days
Wol Euler smiles and thwaps you with a cushion.
Wol Euler: that's what friends do, adams.
Adams Rubble: Yes, it is heart-warming :)
Wol Euler: :-)

I am a bit touched by wonderful it is to have the PaB group there almost 24 hours a day when one needs someone to talk to

Geo Netizen: You mentioned, Adams, that is should be so simple …
Geo Netizen: Are you referring to the idea from this quote:
Geo Netizen: There is nothing to practice. To know yourself, be yourself. To be yourself, stop imagining yourself to be this or that. Just be. Let your true nature emerge. Don't disturb your mind with seeking."
Geo Netizen: ?
Adams Rubble: That would fit it , yes
Geo Netizen: But isn't seeking a large part of what we do here?
Adams Rubble: I have been imagining levels of selves struggling against one another
Wol Euler: mmmm, I am inclined to say "no". We get rid of obstacles so that we can find.
Wol Euler: seeking is different from finding
Adams Rubble: Threedee gave a wonderful analogy of a feather at our recent Princeton meeting
Geo Netizen: Strip away layers?
Adams Rubble: One can't grab the feather but we can put out our hand and let it fall into it
Wol Euler: ah, yes.
Moon Fargis: what are you searching?
Adams Rubble: Well that is a tricky question Moon and I have been in PaB long enough to know I am not sarching unless I am struggling
Adams Rubble: :)

Corvuscorva joined us next

Wol Euler: hi corvi
Moon Fargis: hi corvi!
Adams Rubble: But I think my self (selves) are resisting my letting the feather fall into my hand
Adams Rubble: Hello Corvi :)
Wol Euler: aaah
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins wide at the crew..oh how wonderful!
Wol Euler: moon, join the circle :-)
Geo Netizen: Not sure why I couldn't grap the feather ... ?
http://flickr.com/photos/28464434@N05/2975576817/in/pool-playasbeing/
http://flickr.com/photos/28464434@N05/2975576817/in/pool-playasbeing/

By this time Moon had turned into his Teddy Bear and was eyeing Corvi. He soon ran across the room and shared her cushion appearing to sit in her lap

Moon Fargis: chocolate woman!!
Wol Euler: heheheheh
Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs...yes!
Geo Netizen: Can't wait see the image ..
Corvuscorva Nightfire: hehehehe
Geo Netizen: quite*
Wol Euler: no biting.
Adams Rubble: Well it is possible Geo but as we try to grab it the wind of our hand pushes it away
Moon Fargis licks corvis chocolate hand
Geo Netizen: I see ...
Corvuscorva Nightfire pulls out a bit of real chocolate and warms it in her hand...then opens it for Moon.
Wol Euler: :)
Moon Fargis purrzzzzzzzzz
Wol Euler: [7:20] Adams Rubble: But I think my self (selves) are resisting my letting the feather fall into my hand
Wol Euler: why?

It was here that I began to put the sequence of events into some kind of meaning for myself

Adams Rubble: I was just sitting here thinking that my sleeplessness seems to have begun the night I saw the grand space which lasted just a few seconds
Wol Euler: hmmmm
Adams Rubble: I couldn't sleep that night afterwards
Adams Rubble: And I think that began the string
Moon Fargis: a grad space you say?
Adams Rubble: Yes, Moon, all of the sudden everything opened into a great space, that was wonderfully bright, and I felt tremendous freedom
Adams Rubble: At that point, or shortly afterwardsl, I realized I have been living in ocmpartmentalized space
Adams Rubble: I haven't felt the compartments as deeply but have not seen the grand space sicne
Geo Netizen: Was this during meditation or sleep or just out of the blue?
Adams Rubble: and I have had trouble sleeping
Moon Fargis: ahhhh well buddhist call it.. enlightment or also nirvana
Adams Rubble: I don't think I was sleeping but it was in the middle of the night after a period a furious dreaming
Geo Netizen: Interesting …
Wol Euler: it sounds almost as though the space frightened you, and you were afraid to go back to sleep lest it recur.
Adams Rubble: I loved the space :)
Wol Euler: (happens to me when I wake from nightmares, I am afraid to sleep again)
Adams Rubble: If anything I might be afraid not to get back
Moon Fargis: yes.. in sleep themost of our thought layers are off
Wol Euler: ah, well, there goes that theory
Moon Fargis: like in a meditation

I first dismissed Wol's suggestion but then wondered if part of me may be frightened by the vision. Geo and Moon begin to talk about the quiet mind or voices

Adams Rubble: But maybe my selfs are threatened by it?
Wol Euler nods thoughtfully
Geo Netizen: Another quote: "A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. “ …
Geo Netizen: Perhaps in near sleep, you achieve this in a particularly effective way.
Adams Rubble: ah
Moon Fargis: just the quiet confuse layers are there.. so in sleep you are nearly in a deep meditation state you just let your quiet confuse layers take controll of your mind so yyou begin to dream
Moon Fargis: which also happens sometimes in meditation that people don't notice how the qu'et confuse layer take control unless they see pictures in front of them
Moon Fargis looks at corvi wish bright eyes and points to her empty hand
Corvuscorva Nightfire wants to hear more about Quiet Confused Layers at some point.
Corvuscorva Nightfire looks down into Moon's eyes, smiles, and digs into her satchel.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: opens her warm hand again.....
Adams Rubble's mind has not been quiet the last couple of weeks
Geo Netizen: Yes ... I would too ... interesting pharase

But first Moon licks Corvi's hand and gets some chocolate in return

Moon Fargis purrzzzzzzzzz
Moon Fargis: yummy
Moon Fargis: hmmthss mm well simple.. your mind is based on different layers of thoughts
Moon Fargis: quiet and loud ones
Wol Euler is pleased by the increasing amount of "play" in our PlayAsBeing sessions.
Moon Fargis: thanks corvi was tasty!
Wol Euler: is that like foreground and background, moon?
Wol Euler: or more like a choir?
Moon Fargis: yes something like that, your loud thoughts are used for logical thinking
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles...hey...just found this Chocolate cone...wannna share?
Moon Fargis: ad as more quiet they bacome asm ore they fade into intinctual and emotionel reactions
Moon Fargis: the quietest thoughts are the dreamlayer thoughts, babbling around the whole time
Moon Fargis: also triggering visuals when you let them go
Moon Fargis: those are dhe hardest to fade a way in meditation
Wol Euler: ooh ty
Moon Fargis gave you Chocolate Cone.
Geo Netizen: O ... good ... thanks Moon
Adams Rubble: yes, thanks :)
Moon Fargis: ^.^
Geo Netizen scratches Moon’s belly
Moon Fargis: ohh nearly all are still ghosted
Adams Rubble: oh my
Corvuscorva Nightfire: nearly all what are ghosted? avies?
Moon Fargis: maybe a hight fly solves this
Wol Euler: huh

Moon left and reappeared here

Moon Fargis: ahhhhh
Moon Fargis: there you are
Wol Euler: :)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: are we better coloured, Moon?
Adams Rubble: Your thoughts resonate with my experience Moon
Moon Fargis: corvi: yes ..chocolate woman :)
Moon Fargis: adams: well mine are also experiences so far., but i think they might differ from person to person as there might be more or less layers of thoughts
Geo Netizen: Love the skin tone
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Thank you.
Wol Euler changes her mind :)
Wol Euler floats
Geo Netizen: Wol’s thought are getting so deep, she levitating :)
Wol Euler: indeeed
Adams Rubble: Wol?
Corvuscorva Nightfire snorts.
Wol Euler: I was about to as a qestion that I decided was silly (not helpful)
Wol Euler: *ask
Adams Rubble is curious
Moon Fargis: the only silly here is me so far dont worry:)
Moon Fargis meows "Meow Meow Meow Meow"
Adams Rubble: hehe
Corvuscorva Nightfire raises her brows, puts her hands on her hips and looks put out.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: How about me, Moon?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Aren't I not silly?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: hehehehe
Wol Euler laughs.
Moon Fargis: noooo
Geo Netizen: Glad we're limited to 10 sec on the sound
Moon Fargis: you are chocolate sweet!:)
Wol Euler: onigokko
Corvuscorva Nightfire snorts at Moon as she runs.
Wol Euler: stop
Wol Euler: there, top that.
Wol Euler: well: I was going to ask whether you have grouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep?
Adams Rubble: staying asleep
Wol Euler: because they have differnt causes, apparently.
Corvuscorva Nightfire gave you onigokko.
Wol Euler: (I read up on this a few years ago when I was having frequent insomnia)
Wol Euler: trouble getting to sleep is a sign of anxiety, trouble staying asleep is a sign of depression.
Adams Rubble: and staying asleep?
Wol Euler: trouble staying asleep is a sign of depression.

At this point we had a weapon carying, Spanish speaking visitor who hung around for a while, became bored and left us without giving us permission to include him in the log

Adams Rubble: It is about time for us to repair to our next engagement
Wol Euler: I had already opened the "eject and ban" dialog when he sat down :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: oh!
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes
Moon Fargis: ^^
Wol Euler blows smoke from the barrel of her pistol.
Moon Fargis: ok lets head to the meeting area...
Corvuscorva Nightfire giggles.
Wol Euler: well, shall we?
Adams Rubble: yes
Wol Euler: geo, you are welcome to attend, but it will be less intereseting than these sessions.
Geo Netizen: meeting area?
Wol Euler: group business, as it were :)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: You came a couple of weeks ago
Wol Euler: follow me a long the stream
Adams Rubble: Geo, would you like to come to the Hall of Appearances for the Guardian meeting?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: or maybe it was just last week?
Geo Netizen: If you don't mind ... at the library?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes
Adams Rubble: At the Hall of Appearances
Wol Euler: oh, hang on, where are we meeting? the Hall, yes?
Geo Netizen accepted your inventory offer.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: oh yes the hall, sorry, not the library.
Geo Netizen: Thanks Adams .... got the tp