2008.11.11 01:00 - If You Step Off the Path, it's Right There

That night was the fourth of the second round of newly scheduled weekly guardian meetings. The night shift turned out not to be very popular, and I, Pema, was the only one present for the first half hour. Just as I was about to pack up and leave, Corvi dropped in to say hello.

Pema Pera: Hi Corvi!
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles at Pema "Hi"
Corvuscorva Nightfire: just came by to say hello before you left...
Pema Pera: What a nice idea, to throw a birthday party for Adelene, yesterday, with Gaya
Pema Pera: and thanks, yes, it's been quiet here this morning :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Thank you, the party was Gaya's idea and such a good one! It was great fun.
Pema Pera: Yes, I enjoyed being there for a while, but alas I had to be off to the Dutch evening at the Kira Cafe.
Pema Pera: How have you been?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Very well, in both sl and rl.
Pema Pera: I'm glad to hear that!
Corvuscorva Nightfire: and you?
Pema Pera: enjoying the world of appearances, in both?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: mmhmm
Pema Pera: Oh, yes, me too, very well indeed!

Somehow it felt better to add some spice, over and above "very well" :-).

Corvuscorva Nightfire: I'm glad of it.
Pema Pera: learning a lot each day . . . letting go of a lot each day . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Pema Pera: getting back what I let go, but in richer ways each day . . .
Pema Pera: setting free what I thought I owned and becoming richer that way . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire: oh!
Pema Pera: especially in friendships on all kind of levels
Pema Pera: we have so many subtle ways of "owning" our friends
Corvuscorva Nightfire: what an interesting line of thinking!
Pema Pera: each time we learn to let go of some of that, there are less expectations
Pema Pera: which means less hindrances
Pema Pera: which means more open enjoyment
Pema Pera: more trust also in deep levels
Pema Pera: expectations can become unmet, hurting trust
Pema Pera: with no expecations, trust cannot be hurt
Pema Pera: this may sound nihilistic, or cynical -- and it can be of course -- but it can also be very natural and open, a celebration of friendship rather than a mutual owning
Corvuscorva Nightfire: it doesn't sound nihilistic to me, at all!
Pema Pera: :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: tell me a specific way that one can "let go" of owning?
Pema Pera: dropping hope as such can be a form of depression, or a cynical attitude, but dropping both hope and fear simultaneously can be the ultimate form of celebration and trust of Being
Pema Pera: as for a specific way, well . . . .
Pema Pera: in any relationship, from the closest friend, to the colleague working next to you, to an acquaintance one sees again, there are subtle expectations and subtle wishes
Pema Pera: . . . we all tend to want to change the other, even in small ways:
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
Pema Pera: this person is great . . . but . . . would be even greater if . . . .
Pema Pera: . . . wouldn't it be nice if also . . . .
Pema Pera: so in that sense we "own" our idealized picture of improvement of the other
Pema Pera: really letting go of that is the greatest gift one can give the other
Pema Pera: and the more we do that, the more the other can really feel that, notice that . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: and thinks about the friends she has who are best at that....
Pema Pera: . .. and each time we fall back in the old trap, the other acts as a mirror, showing us we're throttling back our openness
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
Corvuscorva Nightfire sighs. That sounds truly lovely...for both persons.
Pema Pera: and all of us can do that, make that step
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

I fell back onto an image I like to conjure up, of stepping off the beaten track.

Pema Pera: we all walk what seems like a long and narrow path, the path of our life
Pema Pera: and yet, at each step, we can simply step aside
Pema Pera: with one step we're off the pavement onto the grass of mutual appreciation, with anyone
Pema Pera: it's at hand's reach, in the middle of a fight or an argument
Pema Pera: if we just open our eyes to see
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes
Pema Pera: sorry to go on and on . . . . . must still be sleepy at this early hour . . . forgot the brakes (^_^)
Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs. I was enjoying it.
Pema Pera laughs too :) glad to hear that!
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Pema Pera: I guess we can all think of many applications . . . . of feeling completely caught up in our struggle, our sadness, our hopelessness, our lack of confidence -- and then suddenly noticing that we have made a step off that path, from the asphalt into the grass . . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes
Pema Pera: not three miles ahead of us, but just three feet to the side
Corvuscorva Nightfire: right.
Pema Pera: if I were teaching the notionf of dimensions in high school, in math, I'd like to use that example
Pema Pera: the one-dimensional view of progress, or reaching a goal, with linear expectations
Pema Pera: versus the new dimension, at right angles, so near when you see it, seemingly so far, no, unreachable, if you don't . . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles..yes....if you look down the path..it's far away...if you step off the path, it's right there.
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: stopping the race to the end (certain death!) for just 9 sec may be enough to become disoriented briefly enough to look to the side . . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes
Pema Pera: We all live in a multi-dimensional world. Each moment, wherever we are, there are SO MANY dimensions accessible to us, in which we can step aside, zillions of "degrees of freedom" as we physicists like to call dimensions . . . . just thinking about it is mind-bogglng, heart-boggling, gut-boggling . . . . . .

Once again, I felt I had perhaps let myself get carried away a bit too much :)

Pema Pera thinking about brakes again (^_^)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: hahahh
Pema Pera: it's all so simple . . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire: you are a man of enthusiasm
Pema Pera: hahaha, yeah, that's my strength and weakness I guess . . .
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Enthusiasm is a fun thing.
Pema Pera: yeah, but it can get you into a lot of mischief!
Corvuscorva Nightfire snickers.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: true that!
Pema Pera: you can make tonnes of mistakes at the same time that your neighbor makes only two or three (^^)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: mmm
Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes..but if you aren't making mistakes...what are you doing?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: probably not much, eh?
Pema Pera: yeah, well, I'm lucky
Pema Pera: I get paid to make mistakes
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, grins.
Pema Pera: it's called "research" :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: exactly.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: It is research....
Corvuscorva Nightfire: all of life is research.
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: and celebration
Corvuscorva Nightfire: and the more experiments one tries..the more mistakes.
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Pema Pera: yes
Corvuscorva Nightfire: the mistakes are worth celebrating too
Pema Pera: yes, if you learn from them
Corvuscorva Nightfire: in science we often ignore them...but sometimes thy are our best clues.
Pema Pera: if you repeat them, it's called addiction
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
Pema Pera: definitely
Pema Pera: celebration vs. craving: the difference between learning and repeating
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods!

Back to Being!

Corvuscorva Nightfire: that leads to another question....
Corvuscorva Nightfire: what does Being get out of craving?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: what's the point of THAT?
Pema Pera: this is one reason I encourage everyone to write down notes while doing the 9 sec -- that makes it MUCH easier to see the difference between celebrating and craving
Pema Pera: Being doesn't get anything "out" of anything
Pema Pera: Being is . . . and all is Being
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, considers.
Pema Pera: no way out :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: so..though...
Corvuscorva Nightfire: craving IS....
Pema Pera: WE think we can get in and out, etc . . . . when we lose sight of Being
Corvuscorva Nightfire: we all do things, make the same mistakes over and over again...
Pema Pera: even craving can be okay, IF you see it for what it is
Pema Pera: seeing is key
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
Pema Pera: yes, we do, and finally we learn . . . sooner or later . . . when we finally SEE what we're doing
Pema Pera: a nation can learn even, when it starts to see what it was doing -- witness the latest elections
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, smiles.
Pema Pera: a real reason for celebration!
Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs. Indeed!
Pema Pera: well, it's the hour again . . . I think I'll celebrate with a little more sleep, Corvi
Pema Pera: if you don't mind
Corvuscorva Nightfire: good idea, Pema.
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles.
Pema Pera: I have to get up again in two and a half hours: Japanese evening at Kira :)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: mmm
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Sleep well!
Pema Pera: the roundess of the world . . . .
Pema Pera: thank you, you too I hope!
Corvuscorva Nightfire: thank you.
Pema Pera: how nice to be able to ramble on here with you in the wee hours :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: nice indeed for me, too!
Corvuscorva Nightfire: g'night.
Pema Pera: g'nite!
Pema Pera: sleep tight :)