2009.01.29 01:00 - The Silent One

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Fael Illyar. The comments are by no-one for the moment, feel free if you have time.

     This meeting, I managed to be sleep half an hour of the meeting. Luckily, or unluckily, or both, Susi and Tarmel both were there. Nice change from the last two thursday 1AM meetings that I spent alone.

    Susi Alcott: hi Tarmel
    Tarmel Udimo: hi susi were you looking forward to a quiet night session?
    Susi Alcott: night ?
    Susi Alcott: ...AM...
    Susi Alcott: :)
    Tarmel Udimo: quiet session :-)
    Susi Alcott: lol; tried to make a joke :)
    Susi Alcott: dont use to have any expertations what's to come
    Tarmel Udimo: where are you?
    Susi Alcott: felt good to see your to come online and thought that it would be nice if you'de appear here
    Susi Alcott: here beside you atm :)*
    Tarmel Udimo: and here I am :-)
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Susi Alcott: may I guess why you asked so ?
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Tarmel Udimo: please do
    Susi Alcott: thought that because you know that I like much silence, so it can also be 'obvious' to you that I might not like so much if there's a lot of noise around
    Tarmel Udimo: yes :-)
    Tarmel Udimo: do you listen to music?
    Susi Alcott: well; in fact you are very much right, but that's not depended on how many people there's around, but more like how restless there mind is
    Susi Alcott: I usually 'walk in silence'
    Susi Alcott: rl call
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Tarmel Udimo: smiles rl noise
    Susi Alcott: back
    Tarmel Udimo: hi
    Susi Alcott: gone now
    Tarmel Udimo: so no music?
    Susi Alcott: usually not
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Susi Alcott: but love for example this bell here
    Tarmel Udimo: I'm lisetning to music right now - itunes radio station
    Susi Alcott: I love sounds
    Tarmel Udimo: yes I love the bell too
    Susi Alcott: there's so much such 'music' that I 'hear' without ears
    Tarmel Udimo: maybe we should ask storm to make it resonate for longer - the bell that is
    Tarmel Udimo: yes what kind of music?
    Susi Alcott: hearing now very good music cuz of your presence
    Susi Alcott: hm...maybe it's perfect of it's length
    Tarmel Udimo: that is very sweet susi, i always hope my presence brings gd music, sometimes i wander
    Susi Alcott: afterall; this is a meeting place ment for 'noise' of people's words
    Susi Alcott: may I ask you to stop to wonder ?
    Tarmel Udimo: true enough - well siad
    Tarmel Udimo: *said
    Tarmel Udimo: to stop to wonder ? what do you mean
    Susi Alcott: you always bring also peace, no matter if you feel which way
    Susi Alcott: no matter if you sound like rock'n roll; there's this peace within
    Tarmel Udimo: yes I can be a bit rock and rolly sometimes, thtowing cats in amoung the pigeons
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: but its all meant with good intentions, always ;-)
    Susi Alcott: and that you also bring within
    Tarmel Udimo: stop it now, you making me have tears
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: but thank you
    Tarmel Udimo: and you susi?
    Tarmel Udimo: are you always at peace?
    Susi Alcott: tears can be very good things too
    Tarmel Udimo: humm trying to allow that happen more, very rare for me, but getting better at it :-)
    Susi Alcott: I believe that each one has limits how much one can 'take' that can stay as one is oneself
    Susi Alcott: so I cannot say that there would be always peace inside me
    Tarmel Udimo: you might need to open up that sentence a bit mor for me to understand it
    Susi Alcott: but I'de say that it's my normal
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Tarmel Udimo: have you worked hard at being at peace?
    Tarmel Udimo: were you always like that?
    Susi Alcott: that there's 'all the time' noise 'circeling' in me too, but the cor/kernel is silence
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Tarmel Udimo: so noise for you is more than sound?
    Susi Alcott: I have worked hard whole my life; still do
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Tarmel Udimo: did you have to or are you drawn to be like that?
    Susi Alcott: but in I never have meditated, or worked otherwise the way I think you mean...only done my daily work the best way I can
    Tarmel Udimo: its the only way...
    Susi Alcott: I like to work...I like challenges
    Susi Alcott: would say like this; I'm not afraid of hard work; I can sleep beside it
    Tarmel Udimo: and the silence?
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Susi Alcott: :)
    Susi Alcott: that's just what I am
    Tarmel Udimo: hummm
    Susi Alcott: 'the silent one' was the 'title' I was given by several people
    Susi Alcott: many called me that way in Egypt
    Susi Alcott: and I wondered how come
    Susi Alcott: I didnt' understand there meaning, because so many people wanted me to talk much
    Susi Alcott: but finally I asked from one person that what they mean with that
    Tarmel Udimo: and?
    Susi Alcott: that way I learned to 'explane' myself better than ever before
    Susi Alcott: cuz they explaned that they mean the silence there is inside me
    Tarmel Udimo: okay so the silence became your strength
    Susi Alcott: it's been my strength whole my this incarnation too
    Susi Alcott: likewise 'few' other
    Tarmel Udimo: so you've been on the spiritual path for a long time
    Susi Alcott: since my birth
    Susi Alcott: was born to be 'odd' :)
    Tarmel Udimo: I suspect most of the people who come to PaB and stay are born a little odd :-)
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Susi Alcott: at least a little :)))
    Tarmel Udimo: they'ed have to be
    Susi Alcott: hm
    Tarmel Udimo: And so you were born in the middle east?
    Susi Alcott: no
    Susi Alcott: but please dont ask more
    Susi Alcott: but I understand why you thought so
    Susi Alcott: but that's your 'inner knowledge' 'speaking'
    Tarmel Udimo: okay, you mentioned it which is why I brought it up.... but happy to drop it
    Susi Alcott: but it's speaking about my 'past'
    Tarmel Udimo: hey there fael
    Susi Alcott: hi Fael
    Tarmel Udimo: Play as being Watch v1.1 for woman will ring next in 7 minutes 11 seconds. what's that?
    Fael Illyar: Hi Susi, Tarmel :)
    Fael Illyar: funny, sort of :)
    Susi Alcott: no prob dear Lady; I can open my mouth :)))
    Tarmel Udimo: good
    Tarmel Udimo: ;-)
    Fael Illyar: the first time this week that I sleep past 1AM slt.... and of course it's my guardian shift :)
    Tarmel Udimo: I thoiught it was susi's
    Susi Alcott: sure I honour people's rights to ask anything, but sometimes I give the answer 'before the question' :))))
    Tarmel Udimo: grins
    Susi Alcott: np Fael
    Susi Alcott: we can play that I was you for a while
    Susi Alcott: all is well
    Fael Illyar smiles 'Thank you.'
    Tarmel Udimo: wow fael what an outfit......
    Fael Illyar: Also the first time in a while that there actually is someone here other than me :)
    Tarmel Udimo: awwwwwww
    Tarmel Udimo: well we're here
    Susi Alcott: brb
    Susi Alcott: back
    Tarmel Udimo: are either of you planning on going to the retreat?
    Susi Alcott: I cannot
    Tarmel Udimo: why?
    Susi Alcott: living too far
    Fael Illyar: well, it's mostly a money issue but ... yes, that applies for me too.
    Tarmel Udimo: yes me too, but I am going to try, we all should
    Fael Illyar: Of course, if it's just 5 days, it's just enough time to get over jetlag and then another round of jetlag :)
    Tarmel Udimo: hahahahah know that well
    Fael Illyar: no thank you :)
    Tarmel Udimo: byb
    Fael Illyar: I'm rather reluctant to go for short trips to the states :)
    Tarmel Udimo: I'm back
    Susi Alcott: we can look upon the bright side; we can meet in SL
    Susi Alcott: wcb
    Tarmel Udimo: exactly
    Fael Illyar: yes :)
    Fael Illyar: no need to bother with jetlag :)
    Tarmel Udimo: well said
    Fael Illyar: There's a certain "flavors" missing from SL meetings but it's close enough that it feels like meeting :)
    Tarmel Udimo: yes its been a life line for me
    Tarmel Udimo: flavour or no flavours :-)
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Fael Illyar: Well, I guess you could sort of say the same for me :)
    Tarmel Udimo: yes?
    Fael Illyar: I've been using internet for communicating with people for ... 9 years I think and before SL, I didn't really have very close relations with anyone through it.
    Fael Illyar: now, after a year of SL, ... well, now I have.
    Fael Illyar: Would also say that overall, I'm feeling much better than around a year ago.
    Tarmel Udimo: yes?
    Fael Illyar: well, it's kind of difficult to explain :)
    Fael Illyar: but PaB has had a big part in that :)
    Fael Illyar: understanding yourself better does tend to make you feel better :)
    Tarmel Udimo: yes I feel really blessed meeting like minded souls
    Tarmel Udimo: even though we are all so different
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: and i do think Pema's brilliant
    Fael Illyar: not many here who would disagree I think :)
    Susi Alcott: thought already 'long time' that 'somebody' might needed to tell Pema that he's missed much
    Tarmel Udimo: you just did :-)
    Fael Illyar: but I have noted that he's himself less around lately.
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Fael Illyar: Yes, Pema reads all the logs, likely still :)
    Susi Alcott: and that is sad thing
    Susi Alcott: meaning that he is less around
    Susi Alcott: so much less
    Fael Illyar: He's part of what keeps things going here :)
    Tarmel Udimo: humm perhaps takes on too much
    Fael Illyar: but his presence would be most important.
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: yes we can keep the flow going but it is his presence I agree
    Tarmel Udimo: as well as his wisdom :-)
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: he's pretty much a long way down the path, pretty close to the abyss I reckon
    Fael Illyar: abyss?
    Tarmel Udimo: he's getting ready to dive in he may have already ;-)
    Tarmel Udimo: where there is no path
    Susi Alcott: or where is the most clear path to walk on
    Susi Alcott: because it's to be seen
    Susi Alcott: clearly
    Tarmel Udimo: yes that's another way to describe it
    Tarmel Udimo: but ultimately I think the path must dissapear
    Tarmel Udimo: disappear
    Fael Illyar blinks 'what path?'
    Fael Illyar has the "play dumb" expression on her face.
    Susi Alcott: one's own
    Tarmel Udimo: laughs....
    Susi Alcott: that's often very cute play :))))
    Susi Alcott: and very helpfull
    Tarmel Udimo: well just in case we don't mean the same thing, there is a saying that once the spirit begins the return jiurney home
    Tarmel Udimo: is when it first steps onto 'the path'
    Tarmel Udimo: and once on the return journey, ther is no turning back
    Susi Alcott: sadly there is
    Tarmel Udimo: there can be aimless wandering, running backwards, trying to dive off
    Tarmel Udimo: but the reality is that at some point the slow pull of return will start to have an effect
    Tarmel Udimo: and like a fishing line slowly reel us in
    Susi Alcott: when one takes oneself so far from own path, the those people one was chooced to help...that is returning back
    Tarmel Udimo: you mean other people make you leave the path
    Tarmel Udimo: not sure what you're saying?
    Susi Alcott: you named one reason why somebody takes that returning back
    Tarmel Udimo: returning back to the 'source'?
    Susi Alcott: that if one betrades one's so called heavenly mission one has choocen to do
    Susi Alcott: no; ment that there is also returning back from the home coming journey
    Fael Illyar: I might call it "returning back to dreaming or illusions"
    Tarmel Udimo: yes by returning away from?
    Susi Alcott: and that happenes when one betrades one's own promised and choocen path for other people
    Tarmel Udimo: yes I agree, however I believe that once one has taken even a tiny step back to the source, no matter how many times one wavres there is no escape
    Tarmel Udimo: wavers
    Susi Alcott: turning one's back to the truth of own choocen path so much that it creates much lag to those people one has chooced to help
    Tarmel Udimo: perhaps we are talking about two different things...
    Susi Alcott: seems so
    Tarmel Udimo: i think you are saying that you must fulfill the promises you made in the past to help people and by not doing that you are holding up their stepping onwards on the path?
    Susi Alcott: I'm trying tell causes to my saying that there is 'the returning back'
    Tarmel Udimo: is this what you mean?
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Susi Alcott: also from the path of returning home
    Fael Illyar: (I don't think there necessarily are promises invoved but could be)
    Susi Alcott: that's what I tried to say
    Susi Alcott: there's not so many people that do live only for oneself
    Tarmel Udimo: yes?
    Susi Alcott: sure there's neither many such people that do live the most for other people
    Susi Alcott: but there are many people that do live for very many other people too
    Susi Alcott: and in case such person betrades one's own choocen path
    Tarmel Udimo: in fact i wander if serving people is the only way
    Susi Alcott: so strongly that it creates essential unbalance to those people that one was supposed to help
    Susi Alcott: that is returning back from the home coming journey
    Tarmel Udimo: okay now I understand you ;-)
    Susi Alcott: to help ; that is not always to serve so that it's obviously to be seen as serving
    Susi Alcott: how to serve; that is an other question
    Tarmel Udimo: yes that is
    Susi Alcott: often to serve genuinly sure is 'not to serve'
    Susi Alcott: but human life is 'team work'
    Susi Alcott: to most of the people
    Susi Alcott: today many would say 'network'
    Tarmel Udimo: so you believe in group 'karma'
    Susi Alcott: my view of human life can be expressed like that too
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Susi Alcott: just that there is so much opinions of karma too...
    Susi Alcott: so; thinking that very openly I can agree with those words
    Tarmel Udimo: yes i don't like the word very much
    Susi Alcott: as there sure is not much musts or must nots
    Tarmel Udimo: grins
    Susi Alcott: and basicly life ---imo--is only tries
    Tarmel Udimo: imo ?
    Susi Alcott: in my opinion
    Tarmel Udimo: ty
    Susi Alcott: sry
    Susi Alcott: learned in SL
    Tarmel Udimo: yes - and I need to learn them tooo :-)
    Fael Illyar: some people use that enough that it's useful to abbreviate :)
    Tarmel Udimo: yes :-)
    Tarmel Udimo: you are both glowing its nice...
    Fael Illyar: sometimes seen in form imho (in my humble/holy opinion)
    Tarmel Udimo: fael how do I control the aura so I can limit the size?
    Tarmel Udimo: laughs at fael last comment
    Susi Alcott: ty Fael
    Susi Alcott: I've pondered that
    Tarmel Udimo: susi gave me an aura card but I only know how to tunr it on and off
    Fael Illyar: unfortunately, I don't know how to tweak the aura you have. It might be that not much more can be done.
    Susi Alcott: the size cannot be limited
    Tarmel Udimo: yes I have the list of commands but they don't make sense (to me)
    Susi Alcott: you need to start all of the commands with /7
    Tarmel Udimo: yes and also I have a cube sitting on me
    Tarmel Udimo: so what's range?
    Fael Illyar: ah, perhaps it's visible so you can move it.
    Fael Illyar: in that case there would be commands to hide/show it
    Susi Alcott: oh dont you Fael have it ?
    Fael Illyar: No :) I have my own :)
    Tarmel Udimo: smarty pants
    Tarmel Udimo: :-)
    Susi Alcott: your so much better with these things
    Fael Illyar: Susi, if possible you could try to give multiple items as folders instead of one at a time.
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Fael Illyar: I really am using my own :P
    Susi Alcott: thought that you know more
    Susi Alcott: and your so much better to advise these things than I am
    Fael Illyar: well, I can read the notecard and try to explain but ... most of these are such that you'd need to try them to really understand.
    Susi Alcott: aha
    Fael Illyar: no self-destruct button here that I can see.
    Tarmel Udimo: smiles
    Susi Alcott: so it's much like all in the world
    Susi Alcott: so much we just must to try
    Susi Alcott: before we can know
    Fael Illyar: yes, that's the primary mode of learning :)
    Susi Alcott: thankfully people are more willing to share the existing knowledge
    Susi Alcott: because so much there is always to learn new
    Fael Illyar: yes, just some knowledge is more easy to get by trying :)
    Tarmel Udimo: okay i attached it to my chest and that got rid of the little cuby thingy
    Fael Illyar: yes, chest sounds like a good attachment point for that.
    Susi Alcott: you can also 'wear' and move it with arrows
    Tarmel Udimo: yes?
    Susi Alcott: the red/white ball that was to be seen 'on your lap'
    Susi Alcott: is that aura generator
    Tarmel Udimo: see how wide the balls go?
    Tarmel Udimo: too much
    Susi Alcott: that cannot be changed either, that how much they go
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Fael Illyar: you could target them to yourself perhaps?
    Susi Alcott: but you can point them to go to some Av I take
    Tarmel Udimo: good idea
    Tarmel Udimo: let me try
    Susi Alcott: smiles
    Fael Illyar: will probably take a while to see the effect :)
    Tarmel Udimo: hummm
    Tarmel Udimo: no good
    Tarmel Udimo: there is a range but don't know how to use that
    Fael Illyar: try targeting me?
    Fael Illyar: range is for target acquisition I think.
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Fael Illyar: how far away targets it'll pick
    Fael Illyar: seems to work.
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Susi Alcott: looks very beautiful
    Tarmel Udimo: now i am targeting susi :-)
    Fael Illyar: my targeted poofer :P
    Tarmel Udimo: yep an expert now :-)
    Tarmel Udimo: I will leave you two lovely people with balls of light glwoing all around you
    Tarmel Udimo: glwoing
    Tarmel Udimo: glowing :-)
    Fael Illyar smiles 'See you later Tarmel.'
    Tarmel Udimo: time for a bath and read
    Fael Illyar waves.
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: bye
    Tarmel Udimo: waves good bye to her friends ;-)
    Susi Alcott: have good time Tarmel
    Susi Alcott: C U again
    Tarmel Udimo: healing water - yummmmmmm
    Fael Illyar: wow, long session :)
    Susi Alcott: if we look at the clock :)
    Susi Alcott: we can also forget it
    Fael Illyar: forget?
    Susi Alcott: the 'time' that the clock tells
    Susi Alcott: meaning; to me---believing also to you---it was short session
    Susi Alcott: because time did 'fly'
    Fael Illyar: Ah, yes, kind of :)
    Susi Alcott: as it usually does when it's creation of good time
    Susi Alcott: 'never time enough'
    Fael Illyar smiles.

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