2009.04.15 19:00 - Sidestepping the ego

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    The Guardian for this meeting was stevenaia Michinaga. The comments are by stevenaia Michinaga.

     aurel Miles, and Corvuscorva Nightfire arrived with her friends, Tallulah Bourjade, Peer Infinity

    stevenaia Michinaga: hello aural
    aurel Miles: hi steve
    stevenaia Michinaga: hi Lover, are you here for the meeting?
    aurel Miles: hi everyone
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Tallulah
    Tallulah Bourjade smiles
    Tallulah Bourjade: hello
    Peer Infinity: hi everyone :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Peer
    stevenaia Michinaga: have you been here before Tallulah?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Peer has been here before, and Tally is a friend of mine.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I gave her the notecards and the warning..
    stevenaia Michinaga: welcome
    stevenaia Michinaga: warning, we have warnings?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: umm..Tally..do you mind if we post your words on the wiki?

    SophiaSharon Larnia joined us

    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Sophia
    Tallulah Bourjade: not at all -smiles-
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire grins...that warning
    stevenaia Michinaga: oh, nods
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: though perhaps we ought to have others.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs.
    aurel Miles: may be
    SophiaSharon Larnia: I feel really quiet today, I don't know why I come :P
    Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles..sometimes i come here and don't say two words.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: just hi.
    stevenaia Michinaga: I feel the void of empty pockets after paying my taxes, does that count?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes it does Steve..yes Corvi lol
    aurel Miles: bearing witness is as important as speaking
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it's this Seeing being, Being seeing..... me,
    aurel Miles: maybe more important

    aural was in her bunny outfit and Peer was also in full bunny attire, feeling the need for appropriate ears, I asked for some for me...Corvi can through with floppy ears for me.

    stevenaia Michinaga: doesn't anyone have spare bunny ears, I feel underdressed
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Sophia..what about that?
    stevenaia Michinaga: thank you
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: hmm..it was all i could find
    stevenaia Michinaga: more flopsie than perkie
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods
    SophiaSharon Larnia: a pause... a stop... I can't say it in words yet
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, listening.
    stevenaia Michinaga: but it suits y moment
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but it goes away the second i step into work
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah!

    SophiaSharon Larnia asks:

    SophiaSharon Larnia: what does being see, looking through my eyes
    SophiaSharon Larnia: the world?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire tilts my head, thoughtfully.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: i don't know.
    stevenaia Michinaga: thinks for a moment
    SophiaSharon Larnia: being is me, so what do I see?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: or is that a backwards way to look at it
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: i don't' thinks so.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: shrugs
    stevenaia Michinaga: it gets crowded in here when being sees through my eyes
    SophiaSharon Larnia laughs
    stevenaia Michinaga: prefer to See Being Seeing
    stevenaia Michinaga: no eyes needed
    aurel Miles: but the third
    stevenaia Michinaga: very much so
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but that feels to me like 'stepping out of the way' so to speak, like trance channelers do
    Corvuscorva Nightfire listens...
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: we've talked alot here about getting ourselves out of the way
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i feel that it's a conscious process
    SophiaSharon Larnia: or should be
    stevenaia Michinaga: more like getting our "stuff" out of the way
    SophiaSharon Larnia: should*
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: getting ourselves out of the way?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Steve
    SophiaSharon Larnia: our egos anyway...but something doesn't feel right about that
    stevenaia Michinaga: back to "stuff" the cobwebs that get in the way of clarity
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: can you say more?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: about what doesn't feel right?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i can but know thins is recorded and hate to ramble lol
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I've learned more from other people's ramblings than from "experts"
    stevenaia Michinaga: sometime rambling is so much more than you think
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: so..i hope you'll be willing to ramble a bit.
    stevenaia Michinaga: ..listens
    SophiaSharon Larnia: sidestepping the ego seems to me to be not what we are supposed to do
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: like we are to bring being into the physical world, which means in to our conscious awareness
    stevenaia Michinaga: sidestepping? or dropping
    SophiaSharon Larnia: sidestepping in the sense that the ego is disregarded and pushed aside
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: mmm..hmm...
    SophiaSharon Larnia: collectively, it is awareness, being awake, that seems the most important to me
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: awareness! Awake!
    SophiaSharon Larnia: awake in all sense of the word
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: that makes sense to me.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: in physicality
    SophiaSharon Larnia: 3d
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but! what do i know
    Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
    stevenaia Michinaga: more and more :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: bringing something in, inviting
    SophiaSharon Larnia: joining
    stevenaia Michinaga: I see it more like making space for something else
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    SophiaSharon Larnia: dropping cultural conditioning etc that hinders the process
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: dropping the sense that "I" begins or stops "here"
    stevenaia Michinaga: dusting the cobwebs away to see the hidden corners
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: inside
    SophiaSharon Larnia: still trying to do that I have always gotten way ahead of my self
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ego rather oops
    stevenaia Michinaga: hard to see with stuff in the way, tripping over the tightly held things
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but it is ricocheting in my head again, was glad to go to work
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods
    stevenaia Michinaga: what sort of work do you do that quiets yo
    stevenaia Michinaga: you
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I feel that way sometimes, too, Sophia.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it doesn't quiet me it distracts me
    SophiaSharon Larnia: makes my mind too busy for anything else
    stevenaia Michinaga: quiet can be a nice distraction, distraction can be a nice quiet too
    SophiaSharon Larnia: so i am conflicted on what drop means too
    stevenaia Michinaga: I seem to to be able to find quiet most places, sometimes even when the yelling around me is the loudest
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes I'm anurse i do that too
    SophiaSharon Larnia: brb
    stevenaia Michinaga: oh, a nurse
    stevenaia Michinaga: must be this hat
    SophiaSharon Larnia: what must be the hat Steve?
    stevenaia Michinaga: that I thought anurse was a something I didn;t understand
    SophiaSharon Larnia: lol
    SophiaSharon Larnia: my typing gets worse the harder i try sorries
    stevenaia Michinaga: well mine never gets better
    stevenaia Michinaga: (typing)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: all that practice...and still..
    aurel Miles is falling asleep - not feeling well tonight, i think i'll be off
    stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for joining us
    SophiaSharon Larnia: night :)
    aurel Miles: goodnight all
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: g'night, Aurel!
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Sleep well.
    stevenaia Michinaga: night Aurel
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i am just so angry, at the state of the world, humanity etc etc...and sense this divine presence which for some reason makes me angrier
    SophiaSharon Larnia: what to do
    stevenaia Michinaga: to start, let go of the anger
    stevenaia Michinaga: my tai Chi teacher told us a story
    stevenaia Michinaga: she called it "kick the cat"
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ill kick something but maybe not the cat
    stevenaia Michinaga: Starts like this....

    Driving to work someone cuts you off.... so you get angry
    so you drive a bit faster , cut someone else off
    You get to work annoyed and make their staff miserable
    Miserable staff has a bad day, goes home angry, yells about dinner and the kids
    The kid run upstairs and kick the cat

    stevenaia Michinaga: the point is... not being angry has profound and far reaching benefits
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes i understand
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Sophia
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: understanding does NOT make it different
    SophiaSharon Larnia: not all of the anger in mine
    SophiaSharon Larnia: is*
    SophiaSharon Larnia: no it doesn't
    stevenaia Michinaga: and the inverse works too... smile lightens the hearts of many
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: it's not that easy for most of us, Stevie.
    stevenaia Michinaga: nods, but telling stories is just a start
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    stevenaia Michinaga: I always wonder how much gets solved through anger
    SophiaSharon Larnia: this is what happens when the walls start to thin, angry
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: nothing does
    stevenaia Michinaga: but to listen to the quiet when you are angry, take that 9 second break and see, sometimes helps
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: so..when the walls thin, you feel angry.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: do you mean..as you meditate?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: not at the time, but it does make me feel closer to my feelings
    SophiaSharon Larnia: later
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah!
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i do have to go :)) talking about this right now is difficult
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hopefully will be clearer later
    stevenaia Michinaga: thanks Sophia
    SophiaSharon Larnia: have a great night!
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye!
    stevenaia Michinaga: what did she mean about walls thinning?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: you'll have to ask her..i can tell you what I'd
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ve meant if i said it.
    stevenaia Michinaga: the separation between things.... nods
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: but not what she meant.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: letting my emotional self be.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: experiencing myself.
    Tallulah Bourjade: emotions are hard to deal with though, so it is safer at times to ... separate from them. Sometimes they are so overwhelming it is suffocating
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    Tallulah Bourjade: ^suffocating -has fingers faster than her mind-
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: 9 second meditations have been helpful to me that way.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: because three breaths isn't so long to experience tough things.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: i can stand that.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: and...eventually..i have let go of some of them.
    stevenaia Michinaga: tough things?
    Tallulah Bourjade: but it takes ... longer than 3 breaths to calm again
    Tallulah Bourjade: for me
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods...it took some practice.
    stevenaia Michinaga: calm is something that the more you se it, the easier it is to et there the next time, yes
    stevenaia Michinaga: *get
    Tallulah Bourjade: hmmm
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Tally.
    stevenaia Michinaga: of course, it took Corvi only 4 words to say the same thing
    Tallulah Bourjade grins
    Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs and hits you with a pillow.
    stevenaia Michinaga: that was a compliment
    Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles, nods.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: i know..but you were due a little pillow hitting.
    stevenaia Michinaga: Time for me to go
    stevenaia Michinaga: thank you for coming
    stevenaia Michinaga: feel free to stick around
    Tallulah Bourjade: time for me to go as well
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye, Stevie, Tally
    corvuscorva Nightfire: See ya later, Peer?
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