2009.06.08 01:00 - Quicksands

The Guardian for this meeting was Gaya Ethaniel. The comments are by Gaya Ethaniel.

Adams Rubble: Hello Gaya :)
Gaya Ethaniel: oh hello Adams :)
Gaya Ethaniel: How are you?
Adams Rubble: I am fine. How are you?
Gaya Ethaniel: Good thanks :) Up a bit early?
Adams Rubble: It is very quiet here
Gaya Ethaniel smiles.
Adams Rubble: I am just up temporarily I hope
Gaya Ethaniel: :)
Adams Rubble: May I ask how your avatar change affects how you see the world?
Adams Rubble: or yourself?
Gaya Ethaniel: mm ... let me think ...
Gaya Ethaniel: I'm still getting used to being non-human. Mainly what has changed is others' reactions to me than changes within myself so far.
Adams Rubble: That is interesting. It is a strong visual image
Gaya Ethaniel: Because I change my AVs so much, I am normally not so immersed in SL.
Adams Rubble: I hope you don’t meet an Elmer Fudds
Adams Rubble listens
Gaya Ethaniel googles.
Adams Rubble giggles
Gaya Ethaniel: :D
Gaya Ethaniel: I do have to sit by a wolf quite often so ... heheheh
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: Does this avatar immerse you more in SL?
Gaya Ethaniel: mm ... similar to all my other AVs ... including humans.
Adams Rubble: I get an edge when I am role playing
Adams Rubble: it puts me a little off balance
Gaya Ethaniel: ah ...
Adams Rubble: and I see myself in different ways
Adams Rubble: that has helped me go through layers
Gaya Ethaniel: I'm just not good at RP ... XD
Adams Rubble: XD?
Gaya Ethaniel: It's same as >.<
Adams Rubble: squinting eyes?
Gaya Ethaniel: hm ...
Gaya Ethaniel: xD" or "XD", an emoticon commonly used on the internet to express happiness, self-depreciation, laughter, bewilderment, or sarcasm (tilted 90 degrees clockwise, X indicates squeezed eyes and D an open laughing mouth)
Adams Rubble: ah
Gaya Ethaniel: So ... tell me a bit more about RL and effects please? It's interesting to me as I am always myself here.
Adams Rubble: Well, I am mostly myself but Rubble has been mostly one identity
Adams Rubble: so one part of me
Gaya Ethaniel listens.
Adams Rubble thinks it is the fun loving part of me (giggles)
Gaya Ethaniel: :)
Adams Rubble: the freer part
Adams Rubble: So separating it out
Adams Rubble: allows the other parts to be seen more clearly
Adams Rubble: One of my other avatars you know is much more task oriented
Adams Rubble: focuses on the job
Adams Rubble: has blinders on
Adams Rubble: you have witnessed that I think :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes there are distinctive differences in that ... but I treat both same.
Adams Rubble: yes I find most people do :)
Gaya Ethaniel: :)
Adams Rubble: I am very grateful for that :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Do you identify with a particular AV more?
Adams Rubble: well this avatar was first and it seems to be an SL thing that we tend to love our first avatar most, but beyond that...
Adams Rubble: there is a Rubble trying to emerge in the RL avatar. hehe
Gaya Ethaniel: oh? :) how?
Adams Rubble: well the RL avatar wants it to for one :)
Adams Rubble: how, is more difficult
Adams Rubble: as other layers become visible and easier to see
Adams Rubble: they can fade into the background
Gaya Ethaniel: [1:32] Adams Rubble: well the RL avatar wants it to for one :) - I don't understand this bit.
Adams Rubble: I am looking for myself :)
Adams Rubble: Going to back to childhood...
Adams Rubble: we are told what we are
Adams Rubble: and we try to please
Adams Rubble: so we conform to others peoples ideas of what we are or should be
Adams Rubble: so parts of get suppressed
Adams Rubble: parts of us
Adams Rubble: so role playing can help us find them by looking back at ourselves from a different point of view
Gaya Ethaniel: ah ... ok
Adams Rubble: In my case my ability to love freely and opening had been much suppressed
Adams Rubble: I am just beginning to see how
Adams Rubble: we put up defences
Adams Rubble: tough for even ourselves to break through them
Adams Rubble: Of course, this role playing is only one aspect of the process
Gaya Ethaniel: Perhaps tougher for oneself >.<
Adams Rubble: At times we need to drop the whole thing
Adams Rubble: to see beyond ourselves
Adams Rubble: to our connection to humanity
Adams Rubble: to see others struggling with the same process
Adams Rubble: then it becomes much easier
Adams Rubble: does that make sense?
Gaya Ethaniel nods ...
Adams Rubble: It is easily misunderstood and I used to worry about that
Adams Rubble: but I have learned now not too :)
Gaya Ethaniel: :)
Gaya Ethaniel: There was a comment about struggling last week by Stim which made sense to me ...
Adams Rubble listens
Gaya Ethaniel looks up.
Gaya Ethaniel: Well the log isn't up yet ...
Gaya Ethaniel: Think he said something along the line, struggling doesn't work.
Adams Rubble: not in itself :)
Adams Rubble: sort of like quicksand :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Becomes a part of behavioural patterns ... etc.
Adams Rubble: yes, it can
Gaya Ethaniel: RL calls I'm afraid ... nice talking to you Adams. Hope you get back to some good rest :)
Adams Rubble: OK, bye :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Have a good day too!
Adams Rubble: Thanks, you too :)