2009.07.24 07:00 - Identify, re-identify... un-identify?

The Guardian for this meeting was quen Oh. The comments are by quen Oh.

quen Oh: hi Eliza
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Quen :)
quen Oh: how are you?
Eliza Madrigal: I like your stretching animation :)
quen Oh: :-) lol
Eliza Madrigal: And, I'm well. You?
quen Oh: me too
quen Oh: at first I thought it displayed disinterest, as it is yawning..
quen Oh: but especially men seem to like it
Eliza Madrigal: ;-)
Eliza Madrigal: No, I love extra natural touches
Eliza Madrigal: Some mornings it would be fitting for me to be here in pajamas with tea
quen Oh: :-) hehe indeed
quen Oh: so your purple hair is not about the natural touches? ;-) winks*
Eliza Madrigal: hahah
quen Oh: well it does give an identity!
quen Oh: outstanding
Eliza Madrigal: Thanks :)
quen Oh: and it is nice
Eliza Madrigal: I like it actually, for some reason it makes me feel a litle older than Eliza with dark hair. Go figure
quen Oh: ;-) amazing you like to feel older?
Eliza Madrigal: Well, Eliza had begun to feel very young.
Eliza Madrigal: I donno :))
quen Oh: like how young?
Eliza Madrigal: So it was get rid of her, or do something. Hahah
quen Oh: lol
Eliza Madrigal: Hmm... a teen?
quen Oh: wel the mass here in SL is young, barely past teenage looking
quen Oh: hehe
Eliza Madrigal: yes, that is what SL conjurs I think
Eliza Madrigal: in some ways
Eliza Madrigal: And for a while that was fun
quen Oh: we live in the 'makeable' world, and it is apparently how our ideal looks like
quen Oh agrees
Eliza Madrigal: yes, the 'ideal'
quen Oh: wanted to look you, but more important have an ava that has some character, in a way that is difficult to explain
Eliza Madrigal: exactly!!
quen Oh: most look too much like living dolls here in my opinion
Eliza Madrigal: I don't mind the little lines next to my eyes...
Eliza Madrigal nods
quen Oh: they are nice! they mean that you actually laugh sometimes ;-)

Yidam joins us, I had never met him. And right after him, Sophia arrives too.

quen Oh: hello Yidam!
Eliza Madrigal: Yes... they've been hard won!
quen Oh: welcome
Eliza Madrigal: :D
quen Oh: lol yes, all that laughing to get the nice lines next to your eyes, hard work
Eliza Madrigal: Yidam is a very expressive friend :)
quen Oh: hello Sophia!
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Sophia :)
quen Oh: nice to meet you Yidam, don't think we have met before?
Eliza Madrigal wonders why she is looking to the sky
Yidam Nightfire: Hi all!
sophia Placebo: hi yadim
Yidam Nightfire: hi quen..no i don't think so
Eliza Madrigal really enjoys sophia's fairy look :)
sophia Placebo: ^^
quen Oh: we were talking ava-appearance in this makeable world
sophia Placebo: intersting topic
Eliza Madrigal: and actually Quen, your av is beautiful and yet not too like a doll...
Yidam Nightfire: shes still rezzing for me
quen Oh: ;-) thanks, did some work on it in the beginning
Yidam Nightfire: SL is very slow for me tody
quen Oh: oh dear
quen Oh: sorry for you Yidam
Yidam Nightfire: turning down draw distance
sophia Placebo: quen looks cute
quen Oh: what made you decide to look like this Yidam? it looks quite interesting
quen Oh: thank you sophia, you look a fairytale today with the wings
Yidam Nightfire: its a very naughty incubus av...with some mods by me...i like the blue skin and horns :)
Yidam Nightfire: its fun :)
quen Oh: it is :-)

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: yes the blue skin in particular is great I think ... conjurs a kind of intensity. For me the balance between feeling comfortable as myself and yet getting 'into' being in another world and all that offers is part of the fun :)
sophia Placebo: Eliza is a cloud for me
Eliza Madrigal: :"I pass through the pores of the oceans and shores...."
quen Oh: (will make picture, which will be more interesting log-wise)

Eliza Madrigal: (Percy Shelly's 'The Cloud')
Eliza Madrigal: Nice idea Quen :)
quen Oh: you will see in the log what Eliza 'the cloud' looked like
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: In other news, I began the APAPB excercize yesterday officially
Eliza Madrigal: I know...late start. Hah
quen Oh: funny that in SL we know that what we see is individual, dependent on pc, graphics card, your sl-viewer and so on
quen Oh: in rl it is too I think, but less evident
Eliza Madrigal: Hm, quen true. We know there are filters so we factor them
sophia Placebo: the 9 seconds one you mean ?
Eliza Madrigal: The 20 minute one.
sophia Placebo: ok
quen Oh: good to realise how we don't all see exactly the same even if we watch the same
Yidam Nightfire: our perceptions depend upon our individual sense powers
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Yidam Nightfire: and our attention
quen Oh: interesting Eliza. APAPB-exerise?
Eliza Madrigal: I was hesitant at first, but it seemed like the space opened for it now
sophia Placebo: Yadim look is so demonish with the white hair
Eliza Madrigal: yes, sitting with 'appreciating the presence of appearance as a presentation by Being" ... hehe sounded so complicated to my brain at first
sophia Placebo: sorry for jumping *
Eliza Madrigal: He's a friendly demon. Hahha
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Eliza Madrigal: brb
quen Oh: (dont' be Sophia, one of the interesting things of SL-chat that it can :-)
Yidam Nightfire: demon is such a "label" after all
Eliza Madrigal: (thanks, wanted coffee... tastes incredible this morning)
sophia Placebo: demonish look is a label yes
Yidam Nightfire: i like your fairy av
Eliza Madrigal: there are things that used to scare me as a child which after learning about became friendly
quen Oh: what kind of things Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal: or dreams that were nightmares which changed into comforting things....
quen Oh: I don't know much about demons Yidam?
Eliza Madrigal: like large dogs with big teeth..used to have recurring nightmares
sophia Placebo: ty ^^ , you look great yourself!
Yidam Nightfire: i'll detach the horns
Yidam Nightfire: less scary :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles
sophia Placebo: hehe no
sophia Placebo: it is in the eyes and the hair
quen Oh: hehe I love dogs, also large ones, but was fortunate to not meeting the scary ones
sophia Placebo: which fit your purpose which is good
Eliza Madrigal: Now I love seeing big dogs in my dreams ... much friendlier
quen Oh: hehe nice
quen Oh: what kind of dogs?
sophia Placebo: fantastic Eliza
Eliza Madrigal: and funny because we always had shepherds when I was a child, and poodles
Eliza Madrigal: so I grew up loving dogs
Eliza Madrigal: but for whatever reason rottweilers in particular were terrifying
Eliza Madrigal: Until I had a dream where they were instead friendly huskies
quen Oh: nice!
quen Oh: in front of your sleigh?
Eliza Madrigal: haha....no the dreams were far more involved than that, but is the gist

--BELL--

quen Oh: so what made you turn virtual demon Yidam? :-)
sophia Placebo: i met someone yesterday who said that being naked in sl makes her feel more free, in comparision to rl where she has to wear suits all day
quen Oh: interesting.. ;-) would perceive myself more free wearing clothing ;- (from looks of others)
sophia Placebo: intesting how magicaly vertiual look might change rl mood even if it were infront of a screen
Eliza Madrigal: yes
sophia Placebo: me too
Eliza Madrigal: they've actually had some studies where keeping a thin av helped people lose weight, for instance
Eliza Madrigal: because they saw 'themselves' as thin
quen Oh: you feel more free now you have virtual wings Sophia?
sophia Placebo: hehe
sophia Placebo: i dont mix much btw the 2 worlds
sophia Placebo: but i crave for tp in rl sometimes
Eliza Madrigal: hehe, yes definitely
Eliza Madrigal: and to look at people's profiles
sophia Placebo: yes
Eliza Madrigal: For me, SL cuts through a lot of time spent getting comfortable talking with people? Then it is easier to cut through that time offline?
Eliza Madrigal: Which sounds aggressive...not exactly what I mean
Eliza Madrigal: It just means that maybe I'm more expectant that people would like to talk/connect than I used to be
Eliza Madrigal: Then again, when we're more open, the world is too :)
quen Oh: well it is one of the main qualities in sl, we don't have to work, eat, clean... anything, we mainly meet other people here
sophia Placebo: rl settings are diffrent , we log in here when we are comfortable
sophia Placebo: at least we seem like comfortable
Eliza Madrigal: Hm, true :)
sophia Placebo: even if someone get bored from someone else , who would know
Eliza Madrigal: hehe
Yidam Nightfire: i find the sl av's a visual aid for meditation visualization :)

Unfortunately I got a phonecall, so I missed a part. (That's the nice thing of chat, you can read back what you missed).

quen Oh: (phone)
Eliza Madrigal: that's interesting Yidam.. so a tool/doorway for you?
Yidam Nightfire: definitely
Eliza Madrigal: I like that idea
Eliza Madrigal: Maybe there are many ways things can be turned around... for instance frightening things seen as not... or what might be distractions to practice as tools?
Eliza Madrigal: if we flip things the duality can break down a bit?

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: SL at first was a great enhancement to practice... had been sitting a lot but access to teachings seemed far away. Then SL and a flood of teachings to sort, but then sitting and reading dwindled. 'Balance' doesn't seem exciting goal though .. guess one can drawn a bit to the excitement of extremes.
Eliza Madrigal: :) Or balance becomes a goal which misses the point again. Sigh :)
sophia Placebo nods
Eliza Madrigal smiles... have to laugh at ourselves
sophia Placebo: :) why ?
Eliza Madrigal: for me at least, is helpful to realize even when I 'think' I'm getting 'ahold' of things, I'm actually not.
Eliza Madrigal: and rest
Eliza Madrigal: inwardly
sophia Placebo: :)
Eliza Madrigal: "there's nothing I can do" can be a liberating place?
sophia Placebo: not if you take it to the extreme
Eliza Madrigal: say more?
sophia Placebo: there is nothing i can do to get thinner for example
sophia Placebo: means there is nothing i can do to manage my life style
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, you mean in a sense of giving up responsibility
Eliza Madrigal: "I can't help it"
sophia Placebo: and anything that result from manageing my life style would be meaningless
sophia Placebo: yes
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, yes. I suppose it depends on where one is on the spectrum...?
Eliza Madrigal: Meaning, some tend to take on 'everything' as their responsibility
Eliza Madrigal: :)
sophia Placebo: ok i got your point
Eliza Madrigal: but I hear you. The 'answers' are never "out there"
sophia Placebo: too much worries
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Yidam Nightfire: Sl gives us opportunties to re-identify ourselves ...a common technique in therapy i'm told
sophia Placebo: hmm
Eliza Madrigal: hmm
sophia Placebo: to identefy something is to put the borders for it
sophia Placebo: you cant frame what you cant see though
Eliza Madrigal: So, what would the borders be for the naked friend ?
sophia Placebo: one should see onself to identefy it then to think about how to re identefy it

--BELL--

sophia Placebo: i dont know !
quen Oh: sorry, that was more complicated phonecall than expected
sophia Placebo: *:::* WELCOME BACK *:::*
Eliza Madrigal: No worries Quen :)

That was a longer phonecall than expected, it meant I had only a minute or so left, to make an appointment in time.

Too bad, because reading back I sure would have had some questions about identifying, re-identifying or the option of un-identifying..

quen Oh: gosh and only to be back to say I unfortunately have to go... sorry
Yidam Nightfire: bye quen!
Eliza Madrigal: :) Nice to see you today Quen
sophia Placebo: bye , nice to meet you ^^
quen Oh: you too! have fun!
quen Oh: looking forward to read all when putting it online
quen Oh: bye now
Eliza Madrigal: :) Bye
Eliza Madrigal is thinking about your point sophia, that we get a chance to see an identity we've created here sometimes, in a way we might not otherwise?
Eliza Madrigal: Or certainly read ourselves in logs after the fact and think "huh?"...heheh
sophia Placebo: you might see nothing here or in rl sometimes ^^ clarity moments are so precoiuse and few , sustaing them is what meditation is about i guess
Eliza Madrigal: yes! :))
sophia Placebo: most of time we are but a sleep walkers
Eliza Madrigal nods...going through motions
Eliza Madrigal: I hesitated to sign on this morning, was feeling very scattered. Thanks for the company guys :)
Yidam Nightfire: my pleasure :)
sophia Placebo: ty Eliza :)
sophia Placebo: tc
Eliza Madrigal smiles
sophia Placebo: you were not leaving ?
Eliza Madrigal: Not yet... you?
Eliza Madrigal: This is a nice place to inwind when feeling wound :)
sophia Placebo: i guess i was leaving and though you just was leaving ^^
Eliza Madrigal: *unwind
Eliza Madrigal: ^^
sophia Placebo: yes many nice poeple come here
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, nice sophia, you twirl!
sophia Placebo: makes it really comfy
sophia Placebo: hehe yes
sophia Placebo: well see you later !
Eliza Madrigal: You know, I still haven't played much with AOs ...only have the one free one someone helped me to find when I first signed on...hehe
Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now Sophia :)
sophia Placebo: Aos are expensive !

And Sophia has to go too. Now the 'official' PaB session is over, as Eliza concludes at the end of the unofficial afterparty ;-)

(for very curious readers:)

Yidam Nightfire: ao are difficult
Eliza Madrigal: yes, a little complicated and pricey
Yidam Nightfire: i just built one for anotehr av...took a while
Yidam Nightfire: but cute
Eliza Madrigal: built one... put several together?
Yidam Nightfire: ?
Yidam Nightfire: loaded animations into a AO HUD
Yidam Nightfire: :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes that is what I was asking... Oh
Yidam Nightfire: have to find a good AO
Yidam Nightfire: learn how to edit it
Yidam Nightfire: then select good animations to load
Yidam Nightfire: or buy one already done haha
Yidam Nightfire: usually about 4000 L or so
Eliza Madrigal: ouch
Eliza Madrigal looks at the SL 'to do/learn' list and thinks it can sit a while :)
Yidam Nightfire: or select one AO and Play it when you want to
Yidam Nightfire: best thing to start with
Yidam Nightfire: a stand animation
Yidam Nightfire: so lets see those shoes! :)
Eliza Madrigal: I have the one freebie one... if I add to that then it will do it itself right :)
Eliza Madrigal: Cute huh? :)
Yidam Nightfire: have to stand to really see
Eliza Madrigal: I think, btw, that I'm nervous about going to this temple which is why I'm feeling tangled today
Yidam Nightfire: checking you out :)
Yidam Nightfire: haha...why nervous?
Eliza Madrigal: hehehe

--BELL--

Yidam Nightfire: cute!
Eliza Madrigal remembers the log and here asks Quen to edit back to a more PaB ending ?! hahh