2009.07.30 07:00 - We Are Both Mary and Martha, Smiling

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Eliza Madrigal. The comments are by Eliza Madrigal.

    This session is like a reverse mosaic. At first, there seem to be several different topics going, but looking closer perhaps just a few. 

    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey there
    Ninja Easterman: helloo
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i think the guiardian for this session will show up soon, but have you been to this place before ?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: so everything said here will be logged and posted
    Ninja Easterman: yeah.....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: ok :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: the best sessions are usually the theme sessions sometimes, but who knows where one of those regular sessions ends up :)
    Ninja Easterman: ah theme one eh...
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i am already on the guardianlist, but so far i am also just here wthout the ability to explain too much about the 9 second meditation
    Yakuzza Lethecus: so what are you up to ?
    Ninja Easterman: ah just chillin....

    Yakuzza Lethecus: where are you from ?
    Ninja Easterman: canada bc
    Yakuzza Lethecus: germany here :)
    Ninja Easterman: ah nice...
    Ninja Easterman: sl cool that way .....talk around the world
    Yakuzza Lethecus: yeah, here chat is prefered, but i usually like to hear everyones different english :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i love all those spoken dialecs :)
    Ninja Easterman: true ...
    Yakuzza Lethecus: are you a guardian ?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: :)
    Ninja Easterman: what is that....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: ok, i was wondering
    Yakuzza Lethecus: sombody who is just around here for the sessions and explaining the things for new guests
    Ninja Easterman: ah....you are?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i am also on the guardian list but i don´t have a fixed spot
    Yakuzza Lethecus: so there was supposed to be somebody else here then
    Ninja Easterman: hmmm i find the talk here interesten somewhat...
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey sophia
    Ninja Easterman: what i can understand......lol
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i think eliza is supposed to be here
    SophiaSharon Larnia: HI Yakuzza, Hi Ninja :)
    Ninja Easterman: hello....
    SophiaSharon Larnia: long time no see Yakuzza :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i like those discussions when i don´t understand anything, i like just to sit around and wiki the stuff they are talking about :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: u got the late or nightshift sophia ?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: or even worse vacation ? :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: lol its hard to say I come here any time :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus is on vacation for 2 weeks because the company does that always in the summer
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i just remembered ur a nurse
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)) yay!
    Ninja Easterman: tough job.....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: but ur not logging in from work aren´t ya ? :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: (at vacation comment Yak hehe)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: what are you doing for a living ninja ?
    Ninja Easterman: sawmill owner....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: ah, so ur not a woman :)
    Ninja Easterman: no .....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: am i a sexist now ?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: because guessing that was already inappropriate :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Eliza :)
    Ninja Easterman: i get that alot...lol
    Yakuzza Lethecus: not that woman couldn´t own a sawmill

    Haha. I arrived here. Sorry now that I missed that line.

    Eliza Madrigal: Hi SophiaSharon :), Ninja, Yakuzza
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey eliza
    Ninja Easterman: true
    SophiaSharon Larnia: sl is interesting that way
    Eliza Madrigal: Guardian here today?
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i am on the list so the rec started
    Ninja Easterman: i just up the percent.....
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, okay
    Yakuzza Lethecus: you are the guaridan i guess
    Yakuzza Lethecus: since i never took any spot :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: slot
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: This has been my regular slot for a while... recently changed.
    Eliza Madrigal: So is funny... felt drawn to come today out of habit. :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: oh, who is now on this slot ?
    Eliza Madrigal: We'll see. I'll post the log :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: ur still on the guardian timetable
    Eliza Madrigal: I was frustrated trying to build stairs anyway
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: stairs eliza??
    Eliza Madrigal: yes.... my house is on a hill, so I need steps. Everything looks too boxy to me
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oh in sl :) haha
    Eliza Madrigal: so i've been working to make things more elegant
    Eliza Madrigal: yes! :) In RL I might paint steps, but not build them
    Eliza Madrigal: hahah
    SophiaSharon Larnia: HI Adams
    Eliza Madrigal: Or, well, you never know!
    Ninja Easterman: i need to start to build.....
    Yakuzza Lethecus: lol
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Adams! :)
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hey adams
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes was seeing you witha saw *giggles*
    Yakuzza Lethecus: you got a premium account then eliza :)
    Eliza Madrigal: hahha
    Eliza Madrigal: yes you are giggly lately SophiaSharon
    SophiaSharon Larnia: a bit maybe :) I just can't worry about things anymore. It doesn't change much
    Adams Rubble: hello everyone :)
    Ninja Easterman: high...
    Eliza Madrigal smiles
    SophiaSharon Larnia: brb
    Eliza Madrigal: So what are we thinking about today?
    Adams Rubble hopes I did not interrupt
    Eliza Madrigal: Not at all. I had just gotten here and was talking about trying to build elegant steps to my house
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: for the angels to get around more easily on
    Eliza Madrigal: hahahha
    Eliza Madrigal: (not that last part)
    Adams Rubble: Angels fly :)
    Eliza Madrigal isn't sleeping
    Adams Rubble: Maybe you could borrow a ladder from John Climacus
    SophiaSharon Larnia: sorry phone :)
    Eliza Madrigal laughs at Adams, thank goodness for wikipedia
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes :) a reference to a ladder of spiritual discovery
    Ninja Easterman: ah
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Sweet Sabra: hey
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Sweet
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Sweet
    Adams Rubble: hello Sweet
    Ninja Easterman: my friend......
    Eliza Madrigal: Welcome to Play as Being Sweet, feel free to join us if you like :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ive thought of it as a series of steps, with platforms for resting built in
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah :)
    Ninja Easterman: get off my head ......lol
    SophiaSharon Larnia: lol
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Sweet Sabra: oops
    Adams Rubble: that's using Ninja's head :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: the hard part is knowing these platforms are there
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hahah
    Eliza Madrigal: Sweet, I need to let you know that we record our discussions and place them on a wiki ( http://playasbeing.wik.is/ ). Do you mind being included in that? If not I can edit, no problem :)
    Sweet Sabra: yes I know
    Eliza Madrigal: Wonderful :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I like the metaphor of stairs and ladders... and Chutes and Teleports!
    SophiaSharon Larnia: wow teleports yes
    Eliza Madrigal: Sophia, it seems like you've had a bit of a breakthrough
    Adams Rubble: PaB is a bit like a teleport :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: I feel uncomfortable with that terminology :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Adams, yes! I am seeing that more clearly lately
    Ninja Easterman: bap?
    Eliza Madrigal: with breakthrough, Sophia?
    Eliza Madrigal: Being as Play, Ninja?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes like not wanting to be noticed
    SophiaSharon Larnia: kpo
    Adams Rubble: kpo?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oops sorry that was from my cat
    SophiaSharon Larnia: on the keyboard
    Adams Rubble: Hi Cat :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: giggles
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh goodness...cats
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: (me sings)Memories...
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hahaha
    Yakuzza Lethecus: and ur keyboard survived a caterpiller running over it ? :P
    SophiaSharon Larnia: they are attached to me, I am the only show going on in the house
    Yakuzza Lethecus: sry bad joke
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :))
    SophiaSharon Larnia: so yes feel fulled with something and laugh at the perceived randomness of it all, but know that maybe it is not so random at all...
    Eliza Madrigal: :) I've a cat also SophiaSharon. Two nights ago I wanted to throw him out of the house. In the middle of the night, cold nose on mine "Mom, Mom". He was relentless. Kept me up all night, then slept all day himself. Stinker.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: haha he was bored and wanted to play
    Adams Rubble thinking about Yakuzza's caterpillar and Sophia's platforms
    SophiaSharon Larnia: or eat, or maybe a door was closed somewhere in the house
    Eliza Madrigal: My daughter was away. He is attached to her. :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ahh
    Eliza Madrigal: On the other subject though, sometimes we feel relief and don't know why yet?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: sometimes catapillar sometimes other, faster things
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: My practice has been a caterpuillar mostly lately
    Adams Rubble: seems to be a cat today :)
    Eliza Madrigal: How so Adams?
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: Things seem to be a bit clearer for me today
    Adams Rubble: I feel I am inwardly smiling
    Adams Rubble: off Sophia's platform and starting up the next flight
    SophiaSharon Larnia: haha
    Yakuzza Lethecus: i got to go, bye everyone
    Eliza Madrigal: How wonderful
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye Yakuzza, good to see you
    Adams Rubble: bye Yakuzza :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Yakuzza :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: can you say more Adama??
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Adams* even
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    Sweet Sabra: bye

    Comfort and Lovely Insight

    Adams Rubble: A week or so ago we talked about the Story fo Christ visiting the house of Mary and Martha
    SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Sweet
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye Sweet, nice to meet you
    Adams Rubble: and I have been mostly Martha lately
    Adams Rubble: and I have been a bit envious of those who are Mary knowing that i was Mary not so long ago
    Adams Rubble: and pema wrote me a message this morning in which he reminded me that we are all both Mary and martha
    Adams Rubble: and included an image of mary sitting there smiling
    Adams Rubble: and the thought of being Martha and seeing Mary there smiling and knowing we are both Mary and Martha has made me feel smiley
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: That's beautiful, yes both
    Adams Rubble: if we can always remember Mary smiling we will be OK
    Adams Rubble: and that we are mary too
    SophiaSharon Larnia: at the same time
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: I first image was of martha with mary emerging and martha emerging from mary, etc. but now what I see is a smile emerging from a smile
    SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
    Adams Rubble: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i feel like Mary and no Martha, and then Martha with no trace of Mary at all
    Eliza Madrigal: unfolding at the heart
    SophiaSharon Larnia: (compartmentalized)
    Adams Rubble: yes Sophia, that is the wy we usually feel
    Eliza Madrigal: Yes, how the topic arose. It is easy to feel that way. We are working OR we are meditating, etc.
    Eliza Madrigal: The pauses at 15 minutes are a way to bring out that pause in the work the rest of the time?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but seeing 'fullness' in the appearance of this illusion, well..... I can feel this blend here and it makes me giggle
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    Adams Rubble: yes Eliza :)
    Adams Rubble giggles with Sophia
    SophiaSharon Larnia wants to dance
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Being dancing
    SophiaSharon Larnia: brb sorry :)
    Adams Rubble: The dance of creation and the dance of death - aren't they Hindu concepts too? Shiva?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: dance of shiva, yes, i always liked the connection to the way it connects to the dance of matter
    SophiaSharon Larnia: illusion
    Eliza Madrigal: I'm not sure of the details. I wonder if that is 'lila' also
    Adams Rubble: There is passage in one of the apocraphal gospels where Christ dances with the Apostles
    Adams Rubble: Hello fael :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Fael
    SophiaSharon Larnia: HI Fael :)
    Fael Illyar: Hi Ninja, Sweet,Eliza,Adams, Sophia :)
    Eliza Madrigal: A lovely image Adams! I didn't know that
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes! the round dance!
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oh yes I love that so, it started me on this present path of exploration Adams
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: what a wonderful place to start :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: The Round Dance of the Cross
    SophiaSharon Larnia: actualy
    SophiaSharon Larnia: well, i rewrote it
    SophiaSharon Larnia: have you ever heard of the jesus seminary? I have been following them for a long time
    Eliza Madrigal listens
    Adams Rubble: not heard of that
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it seeks to find the historical jesus, the human being
    SophiaSharon Larnia: the original translations of biblical texts
    Eliza Madrigal: Interesting
    SophiaSharon Larnia: I was very fascinated on what the 'human being' really ids
    SophiaSharon Larnia: is*
    Eliza Madrigal: Can you say more about that Sophia?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i can try but am drifting into village territory
    SophiaSharon Larnia: idiot*
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ok, the human being as what jesus exemplified
    SophiaSharon Larnia: as to what we are to become
    SophiaSharon Larnia: what we are
    SophiaSharon Larnia: erase the mythology and what the church has said about the original sayings, through the centuries
    SophiaSharon Larnia: as i think jesus was an avatar
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oops that is jesus seminar, Adams, sorry
    Adams Rubble: thank you
    Eliza Madrigal: there is something wonderful about the fact that people of all faiths have an instinctive draw to the essence of things....
    SophiaSharon Larnia: the commonality, different words to say the same things
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i was on a 'find the source' kick
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, and also to 'know' when one is reading something that has been modified, in a way
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it all has
    Adams Rubble: It is a path of sorts
    Adams Rubble: seeking to find the meaning that eludes us
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, but as though essence of 'you' digs out essence there...regardless
    SophiaSharon Larnia: essence of self digs out self?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: excavating self :))
    Adams Rubble laughs at the thought we are off our ladders and now dgging
    SophiaSharon Larnia: giggles
    Adams Rubble: (not in amean way but a loving way)
    Eliza Madrigal laughs because she is sleepwriting obviously
    SophiaSharon Larnia: excavating implies removing layers and climbing, leaving something behind
    Adams Rubble: It shows the nature of our path that we can mix metaphors so freely :)
    Adams Rubble: climbing for part of it
    Adams Rubble: digging for other part
    Adams Rubble: always seeking :)
    Adams Rubble: and there it is over there...Mary is smiling :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Being discovered
    Adams Rubble: yes!
    Adams Rubble: our own Mary :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i have to go, talk you later :))
    SophiaSharon Larnia: b4n :
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye SophiaSharon :) Happy escavating
    Adams Rubble: bye Sophia. thank you for the chat. Go with Giggles!
    Fael Illyar: see you later SophiaSharon :)
    Eliza Madrigal: excavating. Sheesh
    Adams Rubble: Oh my, look at the time. I must be off 2
    Adams Rubble: should one of us send the log to gen?
    Fael Illyar: See you later Adams :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Glad you came Adams :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts this morning
    Eliza Madrigal: I claimed it Adams :)
    Adams Rubble: Great, thanks Eliza :)
    Adams Rubble: bye for now :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now :)
    Ninja Easterman: bye sorry i just listen.......friend im me to much
    Fael Illyar: See you later Ninja :)
    Eliza Madrigal: No worries Ninja, nice to see you anyway!
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now

    Fael and I have a little pattern of settling in more seriously after the official hour is over. :)

    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Fael :)
    Fael Illyar: Hello Eliza :)
    Fael Illyar: oh, have you changed your avatar. You look different :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Someone else said this to me the other day. I haven't really.
    Eliza Madrigal: People seem to like this hair a lot :)
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Fael Illyar: I'm not surprised :)
    Eliza Madrigal: It may frame the face differently :) It is my dancing hair. hah
    Eliza Madrigal: I was about to say that I was noticing how large your eyes are...taking everything in
    Eliza Madrigal: a kind intensity
    Fael Illyar: Ah, I haven't thought of it that way :)
    Fael Illyar: but closing them any more than this feels just off :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Just noticing that way this morning ... very nice
    Eliza Madrigal: How've you been?
    Fael Illyar: it's been a rough couple of weeks
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh
    Eliza Madrigal: Getting smoother now?
    Fael Illyar: Yes, I'm very hopeful after yesterday.
    Fael Illyar: but the details are a bit private.
    Eliza Madrigal smiles, no need for details. Glad that you are hopeful!!
    Fael Illyar: not just mine to share.
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, that is a boundary we constantly define :)
    Fael Illyar: Although there is a sense of being overloaded with something today :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Hmm
    Fael Illyar: but can't really tell what.
    Fael Illyar: it'll come but... well preferably sooner :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I'm a little similar, except that I can tell what... just that if I begin it may all flood out
    Fael Illyar: I don't mind listening :)
    Fael Illyar: feel free to shut off the recorder, though, if you wish.
    Eliza Madrigal: It might be better to keep working with it, carving it down to be translatable maybe. I'm not sure
    Fael Illyar: talking of something is working with it :)
    Fael Illyar: question is, is it the way of working with it right now :)

    Nothing too private here so I left it in. In a way it concerns Mary and Martha too, now that I look at it that way. 

    Eliza Madrigal: The funny thing is, it concerns PaB as a whole... my expressing here, etc
    Eliza Madrigal: So what I need to be able to do is stop editing so much
    Fael Illyar: why?
    Eliza Madrigal: When I do, I stay in a kind of shallows
    Eliza Madrigal: or at least I feel that way
    Fael Illyar: editing ... the log?
    Eliza Madrigal: editing like right now...if I were to turn off the log
    Fael Illyar: Oh, that.
    Fael Illyar: If you feel like doing that, there's a reason behind it :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I can always go back and take things out I think, but here is where I've been the last few days re: PaB and my more specifically 'buddhist' practice
    Eliza Madrigal: I can see that I don't 'need' to be more involved in temples and teachers than comes naturally...ie the structure
    Eliza Madrigal: there are aspects of that which I deeply enjoy
    Eliza Madrigal: but I don't think I realized until a few days ago that this way of PaB cuts through a lot... to the essence I was alluding to earlier
    Eliza Madrigal: BUT, this is online
    Eliza Madrigal: Much of me is not online... physical life aspects which have yet to be broken open in the way that so many other aspects have
    Eliza Madrigal: So people tell me I need 'a teacher' who will bring all that out
    Eliza Madrigal: and I respond to that idea
    Fael Illyar: anyone can be a teacher. Even when they don't know of it.
    Eliza Madrigal: but..sigh... maybe I am feeling that this window of blissful learning here is something I don't want to hold too tightly to
    Eliza Madrigal: and can't tell if I am. Normally I wouldn't get turned around by it!
    Eliza Madrigal: I'd think "drink it all in" "ride the wave"
    Fael Illyar: so... you're afraid of holding on too tightly but also doubting if you are?
    Eliza Madrigal: And yes, everyone/everything can be a teacher.... a spiritual friend
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Eliza Madrigal: I'm not sure. Hahha
    Fael Illyar: sure sounds like it :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I may just be asking something I can't frame yet
    Fael Illyar: being afraid of something, means believing it.
    Eliza Madrigal: asking to see what is already there
    Fael Illyar: believing is assuming you know.
    Fael Illyar: doubting is assuming you know you don't.
    Fael Illyar: if you do these both at once :)
    Eliza Madrigal: There are times when it seems one 'knows' but doesn't believe it enough to jump
    Fael Illyar: it's no wonder that you'd get confused.
    Eliza Madrigal smiles
    Eliza Madrigal: We hold many states at once
    Eliza Madrigal: I've come to think of some of these perspectives and paradigms as yogas
    Eliza Madrigal: You get completely into the position and stick with it until what is very uncomfortable seems normal
    Fael Illyar: I see...
    Eliza Madrigal shakes head. I'm laughing because it is nearly like having the conversation we had before
    Fael Illyar: then back to normal and getting used to that :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) yes maybe I feel I should 'always' be stretching...like it there
    Fael Illyar: getting used to getting used :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Thanks for listening :)
    Fael Illyar: You're welcome :)
    Fael Illyar: compared to yesterday, it's like a huge tension is gone. Kind of similar to how it feels lighter after a lightning storm.
    Eliza Madrigal: Wow
    Fael Illyar: a "battery" has been emptied.
    Eliza Madrigal: a restfullness?
    Fael Illyar: sort of :)
    Eliza Madrigal: So nice
    Eliza Madrigal: My shoulders softened when you said that
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Fael Illyar: then you got the message :)
    Eliza Madrigal smiles widely
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Fael Illyar smiles back.
    Eliza Madrigal: hah

    What is Red? Anger? Passion? Caution?

    Also, yogic mind. 

    Fael Illyar: I've had a red season for a while now :)
    Fael Illyar: wearing just red.
    Fael Illyar: or black
    Eliza Madrigal: I was thinking that... that we're both in red today. It jumps out strongly!
    Fael Illyar: many others have too
    Eliza Madrigal: An intense color
    Eliza Madrigal: yes?
    Fael Illyar: it's been very common lately.
    Eliza Madrigal: Funny those little waves
    Fael Illyar: at least with people I've met
    Eliza Madrigal: Once I painted a small wall in my house a dominant sort of red
    Eliza Madrigal: Even looking the other way I could feel it
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Fael Illyar: yep, it's not just the color somehow :)
    Eliza Madrigal: It is also something we don't think about until we do... how the interplay of colors and light are 'tangible' in a sense?
    Fael Illyar: red's like a warning flag. Warning! Active! Be careful!
    Eliza Madrigal smiles
    Eliza Madrigal: or anger
    Fael Illyar: that's one aspect, yes :)
    Fael Illyar: but also sexual attraction
    Eliza Madrigal: Once, after a kind of upheaval, I had been painting a lot. I looked around and noticed that all my paintings had red red red :)
    Fael Illyar: those two are strangely related
    Eliza Madrigal: anger and sexual attraction? Hm
    Eliza Madrigal: Well, both can be intense :)
    Fael Illyar: yes, if you refuse to be angry, you tend to reuse sexual arousement too.
    Fael Illyar: refuse
    Eliza Madrigal: you become a kind of flatline, in a sense?
    Fael Illyar: yep
    Eliza Madrigal: the subject of anger has come up a few times here recently... what to 'do' with it
    Eliza Madrigal: I like the idea of creatively using it, but not dwelling on it
    Eliza Madrigal: not keeping it
    Eliza Madrigal: not generating it
    Fael Illyar: anger's purpose is to enable you to do things, despite being afraid.
    Eliza Madrigal: to jump? :)
    Eliza Madrigal: one can jump from sheer joy too?
    Fael Illyar: not generating it as such is not answer to anything. But not generating it when you're not going to want to use it would be.
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, there is the thing. So often people make decisons in anger (really in this sense 'impatience')
    Fael Illyar: yes, sheer joy... :)
    Eliza Madrigal: and then they find they've not made one decision but millions
    Eliza Madrigal: heheh
    Eliza Madrigal: So can one see the anger and learn from it without doing that?
    Eliza Madrigal: Seems a subtle skill
    Fael Illyar: perhaps impatience is being angry with being angry...
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, exhausted
    Eliza Madrigal: :) And not in that delightfully empty and restful way
    Fael Illyar: anger isn't very helpful against itself :)
    Fael Illyar: just makes a bigger blast :)
    Eliza Madrigal thinks you have a very playful mind...always flipping things around
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Fael Illyar: how do you mean flipping?
    Eliza Madrigal: yogic-ly I think
    Eliza Madrigal: flexibly
    Fael Illyar: Aah :)
    Fael Illyar: I do my best to unpack things :)
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, it is helpful...maybe that's the way not to stay tangled
    Eliza Madrigal: not that you never 'get' tangled, but it doesn't stick
    Fael Illyar: there are many things for which we use a single word but that really kind of need to be said with several to easily know what else to associate it with.
    Eliza Madrigal nods, true
    Fael Illyar: I do like to avoid being tangled :)
    Fael Illyar: it's not fun :)
    Eliza Madrigal: No...fun feeling the relief afterward
    Eliza Madrigal: but good not to go after that too :))))
    Eliza Madrigal: I knew a lady, very smart, who made this wonderful game. She took popcicle sticks and wrote things on each side.. as unrelated as possible
    Eliza Madrigal: the idea was to grab two and connect the ideas
    Eliza Madrigal: from various angles
    Eliza Madrigal: Easy car game with kids :)
    Fael Illyar: heh, yes :)
    Eliza Madrigal: wow, raining again here
    Fael Illyar: cloudy and sunny here :)
    Eliza Madrigal: It is that perfect kind of rain...falling forcefully and steadily like it may go on for hours
    Eliza Madrigal: but it won't. haha. It is florida :)
    Eliza Madrigal: It will get sunny then Boom, lightning!
    Fael Illyar smiles.
    Fael Illyar: That's how things go :)
    Eliza Madrigal puts a flower in her hair
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Fael Illyar smiles 'I've had one almost all the time since I found the first one I liked.'
    Eliza Madrigal: this one positions strangely
    Eliza Madrigal: but yes, a lovely thing :)
    Fael Illyar: worth the effort to get in place :)
    Eliza Madrigal: yes I may play with it. I can be clumsy about things like this though, so I hesitate. I have hair that will never seem to sit correctly on my head again. hahah
    Fael Illyar: just, with every hair, it needs a small bit of adjustment ... perhaps I'll link the flower with some of my hair :)
    Fael Illyar: that sounds like an idea :P
    Eliza Madrigal: Good idea!!
    Eliza Madrigal: haha
    Eliza Madrigal marvels as Fael immediately implements her plan. hah
    Eliza Madrigal: think I'll turn off the log now if you have no objections?
    Fael Illyar: no objection :)


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