2009.09.23 13:00 - Neighbours

Wol Euler recovered this session from the autologging database.

 

Qt Core: Hi Fefonz

--BELL--

Fefonz Quan: Hi Qt

sophia Placebo: hi

Qt Core: Hi Sophia

Fefonz Quan: Hi Sophia!

Fefonz Quan: impressive new look Sophia :)

sophia Placebo: ty ^^ , i thought i crashed due to the silance

Qt Core: ;-)

Fefonz Quan: Hey Bert

sophia Placebo: hello bert

Bertram Jacobus: hy fef qt and sophia :-)

Qt Core: hi Bert

sophia Placebo: thanks bert for taking over 7am sat session ^^

Bertram Jacobus: ups - that was from you sophia ? ... *blush*

sophia Placebo: ^^

Bertram Jacobus: my first life at the moment makes so much trouble that i have to ask others nearly every wek ... :-/

Fefonz Quan: Yes, these first life is a drag... :)

Bertram Jacobus: i have no idea, what it's good for ...

Fefonz Quan: a portal to the second?

sophia Placebo: real swiming in real sea

Bertram Jacobus: hey wol ! :-))

sophia Placebo: hello wol !

Fefonz Quan: Heya Wol!

Wol Euler: hello sophia, fef, bertram, qt

Qt Core: hi Wol

Bertram Jacobus: today, for example, my boss had called me for a meeting, because i would make the atmosphere worse ... because i would be angry to often because of to much work and sillyness and such ...

Wol Euler raises an eyebrow

Bertram Jacobus: as i can tell since weeks and nearly months and years : i have so much trouble !

Fefonz Quan: Hey, Storm!

Wol Euler: hello storm

sophia Placebo: hi storm

Storm Nordwind: Hi guys

Bertram Jacobus: hello storm ... :-)

Bertram Jacobus: and hello mick ! :-)

Wol Euler: hey mick

sophia Placebo: hello mick

Qt Core: hi storm, mick

Fefonz Quan: Hi Mick

Mickorod Renard: Hiya

Qt Core: he wanted a worse atmosphere ? why ? (if i may ask)

Bertram Jacobus: and just now the neighbour opend his door to the floor again - may be the sign that my writing is too loud again ... :-/

--BELL--

Bertram Jacobus: no no . sorry . i wrote that wrong (?) - he wants me not to make the atmosphere longer worse

sophia Placebo: sounds like load of stress

Bertram Jacobus: thats right

Wol Euler nods sympathetically

Bertram Jacobus: ty for feeling with me

Mickorod Renard: and you say its got nothing to do with all the crazy parties and load music?

Mickorod Renard: loud*

Storm Nordwind: I presume "load" music is heavy metal ?;)

Fefonz Quan: hehe

Mickorod Renard: yea,,loaded

Wol Euler: :)

Bertram Jacobus: if it wasn't so sad it would be funny

Fefonz Quan: /nods. it can be both

Bertram Jacobus: it's a very embattled life since some time. and i have no idea why

sophia Placebo: Hi Ara

Bertram Jacobus: hello ara :-)

Fefonz Quan: Hi Ara

Mickorod Renard: Hi Ara

Wol Euler: hello ara

Qt Core: hi ara

arabella Ella: Hiya

arabella Ella: Hey Sophia wb!

sophia Placebo: ty ^^

arabella Ella: so glad we did not lose you sophia!

Mickorod Renard: have you thought about asking him outwardly,,whats the isue.....Bert?

Fefonz Quan: i hate to leave, but it's my first week at work and i'm very tired. I claimed the session, so guess it'll send me the log link

Mickorod Renard: issue?*

Wol Euler: awww :)

sophia Placebo blushes , thanks for your kind feelings

Wol Euler: bye fef, sleep well

Mickorod Renard: bye Fef,,nice 2 see u

sophia Placebo: bye fef

Wol Euler: yes, welcome back Sophia. It seems a very long time.

Fefonz Quan: Bye all, see you soon and have a great new year

arabella Ella: nite Fef

Bertram Jacobus: it's a woman mick and she denies to talk with me :-(

Mickorod Renard: young or old?

Storm Nordwind waves

Bertram Jacobus: bye fefe

Fefonz Quan: _/!\_

Qt Core: bye fef

Bertram Jacobus: - e

arabella Ella: RL or SL Bert?

sophia Placebo: ty wol ^^

Bertram Jacobus: FL - first life

Mickorod Renard: if its a woman you may never find out Bert

Bertram Jacobus: 45 - 50 and woodstock clothes

arabella Ella: :)

Mickorod Renard: ;)

arabella Ella: i dont know what you are talking about but ... try to surprise her Bert, do something very different

sophia Placebo: just forget it then , if she is not willing to clarefy

arabella Ella: to make her notice

arabella Ella: otherwise yes, forget her, as the brits say, many fish in the sea :)

Bertram Jacobus: it's heavy when it's a neighbour. not easy to forget

Wol Euler: what you are "doing wrong" is probably only existing.

Wol Euler: that's crime enough.

Bertram Jacobus: yes wol. it seems so

sophia Placebo: hi yak

Yakuzza Lethecus: hey everyone

Bertram Jacobus: hey yaku ! ... :-)

Mickorod Renard: maybe if yu play your music louder she wont hear your tapping keyboard?

arabella Ella: Hiya Yaku!

Wol Euler: hello yakuzza

Mickorod Renard: Hiya Yaku

Qt Core: hi Yakuzza

Bertram Jacobus: i don't play any music at all ... hm -

Mickorod Renard: think about Yaku's nieghbour..they have to put up with Stims audio lessons

sophia Placebo: i had a friend who if she is not happy with me or other friend she wouldnt tell and would leave it to us to figure out why

Bertram Jacobus: i would like to hear them too ... somewhen ... :-/

arabella Ella: use earphones :)

Storm Nordwind: /How about a microphone to pick up her noises, a delay loop, and an amplifier and speaker stack to play back her own noise half a second later? >;^>

Bertram Jacobus: it's a "home" with very close boundries ...

arabella Ella: yes sounds like walls made out of paper as in Japan

Bertram Jacobus: i don't hear anything from her

Bertram Jacobus: yes. exactly ara

Wol Euler: that is probably what *really* upsets her :)

--BELL--

Mickorod Renard: she is proberbly trying to be quiet while she presses her ear to your wall, listening

arabella Ella: could you use another room Bert?

Bertram Jacobus: i have no idea - it's so strange

Bertram Jacobus: no. i only have one

sophia Placebo: but you dont know if it was you or something else bert no ?

Bertram Jacobus: i have the impression, she hears really the typing

Mickorod Renard: she may just be mad

sophia Placebo: you are over stressed to have any of those impressions

Bertram Jacobus: thats one thing i consoder mick

Mickorod Renard: there is often something in life that upsets the peace

Mickorod Renard: maybe they are tests?

Bertram Jacobus: yes mick, i try to take that as tasks ...

Bertram Jacobus: to learn

Bertram Jacobus: to love "enemies"

Bertram Jacobus: to learn to stay calm in heavy situations

Bertram Jacobus: and such

Wol Euler nods

Mickorod Renard: yes, I do that too,,and sometimes I can get quite compassionate for them

Mickorod Renard: note 'sometimes'

Mickorod Renard: he he

Bertram Jacobus: but that's very nice !already" ! ... :-)

Bertram Jacobus: and i think too - what must this woman feel like ? not good obviously ... :-/

Wol Euler: mmhmm

arabella Ella: did you notice Bert, if she complains about your typing seems like we are making you type even more tonight :)

Mickorod Renard: true,,maybe she has something that is really upsetting her,,and nothing to do with you

arabella Ella: drive her round the bend

Wol Euler: very likely, ara.

Wol Euler: IMHO.

arabella Ella: :)

Wol Euler: sorry, I meant that to Mick, misread the lines

Qt Core: could a quieter, rubbery keyboard help ?

Mickorod Renard: maybe voice activated keyboard?

sophia Placebo: :) mick

Qt Core: hammer on anvil activated ;-)

Bertram Jacobus: i took already a quieter keybord and some under it to make it quieter. the neighbours under me say they wouldn't hear something anymore now ...

Mickorod Renard: a brail keyboard?

Wol Euler: perhaps showing her that her life is not over, that the best years are not behind her, that things might still work out well...

arabella Ella: send her flowers

arabella Ella: or a potted plant

sophia Placebo: send her pie

Wol Euler: hello ari

arabella Ella: Hiya Ari!

Arisia Vita: hi all, may I join you?

Mickorod Renard: HI Ari

sophia Placebo: hi ari

Wol Euler: of course, silly.

arabella Ella: of course you may :)

Mickorod Renard: as long as you type quietly

Bertram Jacobus: it seems that every action from me makes her only more upset. she says i would be lying when i try to be friendly and such ...

Mickorod Renard: we dont want to upset Berts nieghbour

Bertram Jacobus: (lol)

Bertram Jacobus: hi ari :-)

Arisia Vita: no one types more quietly than I...

arabella Ella: I always stomp when i type

Wol Euler: "seldom" and "quietly" are not synonyms :)

arabella Ella: :)

arabella Ella: perhaps she is just an attention seeker Bert?

arabella Ella: a prima donna

Bertram Jacobus: may be. and to be respected ara ...

arabella Ella: or a control freak

Bertram Jacobus: yes

arabella Ella: yes i know what you mean

--BELL--

Bertram Jacobus: you meet my impressions ara

arabella Ella: it seems to me that one of the issues is ... can one be 'authentic' with a person such as the one described?

Bertram Jacobus: who ? me or her ?

Mickorod Renard: I pressume you mean something else Ara??

arabella Ella: can Bert be 'authentic' with her or should he consider just 'humouring' her by saying she is right all the time just to keep her quiet if possible?

Storm Nordwind: I would have thought you are either authentic or you are not. In other words, regardless of who you are with.

arabella Ella: because what he seems to wish to tell her is

arabella Ella: i respect you, i dont wish to have any conflicts with you but please leave me in peace

Wol Euler: quite reasonable...

arabella Ella: and it is likely she would not be receptive to such a statement

Mickorod Renard: yes, it goes two ways

Mickorod Renard: I guess Bert is too kind and also playing damage limitation too

Storm Nordwind: That maybe 'authentic Bert'

Wol Euler: :)

Mickorod Renard: ;)

Bertram Jacobus: ara. you write it so good. but she has no peace as long as i am here is my fear ...

arabella Ella: yes

Wol Euler: her lack of peace is not because of you.

Bertram Jacobus: may be i have to move to get peace for both of us ...

Wol Euler: I bet any sum of money or obligation you care to mention on that.

arabella Ella: how long has this gone on for Bert?

Wol Euler: she is unhappy with her life and looks for a scapegoat outside of herself to blame

arabella Ella nods

sophia Placebo nods

Bertram Jacobus: i'm here since april and about two month later it began ...

arabella Ella: oh poor Bert ... three months of lots of patience ... ouch

sophia Placebo: is she harmfull?

Bertram Jacobus: ty again for your feeling with me ...

arabella Ella: hey thats what friends are for

Storm Nordwind: There may be lots of reasons for the behaviour. She may even be jealous of your place over her own. You can't control her behaviour; you can only control your response to it.

arabella Ella: but if you are happy living where you are i dont think you should consider moving

Wol Euler nods to storm

sophia Placebo nods to storm

Mickorod Renard: me too, to Strorm

Bertram Jacobus: yes. she showed me a swastika made on my letterbox . that was very heavy . and asked me how that could have come ...

arabella Ella: ouch

Mickorod Renard: ahhh..so maybe thats a link?

Wol Euler: "because you scratched it htere yourself?"

Bertram Jacobus: and the landlord wrote i should make that away (!)

arabella Ella: then of course she did not believe your answer

Bertram Jacobus: nobody said it directly or wrote it but they said as i wrote here now ...

arabella Ella nods

arabella Ella: and you mean ... the landlord said you should remove it ... right?

Bertram Jacobus: i HAD to go to the police and make a complaint against unknown -

Bertram Jacobus: and the police, seeing the landlord's letter said he was crazy

Mickorod Renard: wow

arabella Ella: yes ... to protect your integrity of course

Bertram Jacobus: i could complain him because of that - all very terrible ... :-/

Bertram Jacobus: did not do that ("for sure") ? ...

Bertram Jacobus: yes ara. right

arabella Ella: but Bert ... as Storm said ... your present response to what is happening is to get angry and frustrated ... but

arabella Ella: could you consider reacting in different ways?

Bertram Jacobus: yes

Bertram Jacobus: i even do that day for day

arabella Ella: and what different ways could you react?

Bertram Jacobus: hello agatha ! ... :-)

sophia Placebo: thats load of headach to observe what your nighbour might say or do towrds you

Mickorod Renard: I think Bert is doing very well , but I guess the problem is in his inner peace over it all?

Bertram Jacobus: fight for example. or acting compassionate -

Wol Euler excuses herself quietly and slips away. Goodnight all, take care.

Mickorod Renard: nite Wol

sophia Placebo: night wol

Bertram Jacobus: have a very nice nite wol !

arabella Ella: nite Wol

Qt Core: time to go for me too, night all

arabella Ella: nite Qt

Mickorod Renard: nite Qt

Bertram Jacobus: good night qt

sophia Placebo: night Qt

Storm Nordwind: Perhaps if you have Buddhist sympathies, Bert, you could see that she, her complaints, and even youreself are empty of inherent existence. Then there can be no harm, and no fear. No discomfort.

--BELL--

Mickorod Renard: I find that dificult to comprehend Storm..how is that done?

arabella Ella: you could also act like you have a thick skin, Bert, like a duck for who water just brushes off its feathers

Bertram Jacobus: in theory that is ok and easy storm and i know all these ideas very well. but in (heavy) everey day life thats again a total other stage (!)

Bertram Jacobus: nice said ara :-)

Storm Nordwind: Sure Bert. That is why Buddhism is called "practice" :)

Bertram Jacobus: even the teachers i know don't have such practise , at least many of them as i must guess for sake storm

Bertram Jacobus: if you really are attacked for years from many sides storm ... that is really heavy and hard to stand and to handle

Storm Nordwind: Well this is not really a Buddhist forum, and I do not claim to be a teacher. I am just pointing out that your problem, when generalised, is not unusual, and I have found that Buddhist practice is very helpful, when one can find the right teacher. But - like I say - this is probably not the forum for that

Bertram Jacobus: i think this situation IS unusual

Bertram Jacobus: because more intense then everything i knew before

Bertram Jacobus: in my and others life

arabella Ella: sounds to me a bit like bullying too

Bertram Jacobus: ok - may be in afrika, where mothers loose all their childs ...

sophia Placebo: true ara

Mickorod Renard: I dont think I could have coped as well as you have Bert, I think you have done wonderful, I wish I could give an answer to resolve it

Storm Nordwind: perhaps so bert in the details of events. but your responses are not unusual and I believe it is possible for you to find peace from those feelings.

Bertram Jacobus: and similar. but in my life and with all people i know and knew never such intense situations or phases came to my knowledge

sophia Placebo: ^^ laugh at it

arabella Ella: a deeper understanding may help sometimes

arabella Ella: could it be a type of psychological battering as a result of some form of lack of self esteem plus jealousy Bert?

arabella Ella: (on her part of course)

Bertram Jacobus: ty mick ...

Bertram Jacobus: i think ofte at tibets famous yogi, milarepa. he had also to bare extremly heavy situations. to get rid of his bad karma. and even this big human wanted to commit suicide once (!) - so in this relations : it's normal ... ;-)

Bertram Jacobus: and ara : i don't take it so much psycological. not at first . more practical. because i must handle it. very simple. have to act. as i said : may be, i must move ...

Mickorod Renard: yes?

Bertram Jacobus: may be. i'll or / and we'll see ...

arabella Ella: Bert ... i meant psychological mainly on her part ... she uses psychological tactics to annoy you

Mickorod Renard: maybe that is your destiny,,maybe a reward waits you

Mickorod Renard: in a new place

Bertram Jacobus: i have the impression, all taht happens very spontaneous with her ara ...

arabella Ella: ah

Mickorod Renard: and I doubt she will find a new nieghbour as tolerant as you have been Bert

Bertram Jacobus: it would be reward enough to get a bit more peace again mick. and may be even this exspectation is already too much ...

sophia Placebo: night all , hope you find the way to peace soon Bert

Bertram Jacobus: you know ? : dropping and such ... ;-)

arabella Ella: nite sophia

Storm Nordwind needs to go check on a new build, so bows and slips out quietly :)

Bertram Jacobus: good nite to you too sophia

arabella Ella: bye Storm

Mickorod Renard: having a nieghbour is as intense as having a live in partner sometimes

Mickorod Renard: bye Storm

Yakuzza Lethecus: bye and night everyone

--BELL--

Mickorod Renard: nite Yaku

arabella Ella: nite Yaku

Mickorod Renard: I must go too..nite Bert, Ara

arabella Ella: nite Mick

Arisia Vita: I've said enough too....see you all later

arabella Ella: :)

arabella Ella: bye Ari

arabella Ella: good luck Bert but my advice is just to let what you can flow over you without if possible touching you too much

Bertram Jacobus: and sorry that i dominated the session so heavy today. was not my wanting ... (and bye all) ...

arabella Ella: hey no worries

Bertram Jacobus: ty :-)

arabella Ella: just try to keep calm and count up to 10 each time an incident happens

arabella Ella: let them wait a few seconds for a reaction and it will give you time to reflect too

arabella Ella: i must go now

Bertram Jacobus: bye ara

arabella Ella: guten nacht schlaf gut!

Bertram Jacobus: many nice words from you today

Bertram Jacobus: thanks again

arabella Ella: :)

arabella Ella: yw