2010.02.01 07:00 - Rubble Without Cause

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Adams Rubble. The comments are by Adams Rubble.

    I was alone in the pavilion for awhile thinking how odd that i was here sitting by myself on a Monday morning in PaB when Eliza arrived. The two of us chatted for the entire session.

    Eliza Madrigal: !
    Adams Rubble: Yes Eliza, how odd :)
    Eliza Madrigal smiles
    Adams Rubble: Good morning :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Good Morning :))
    Eliza Madrigal: So nice to see you this morning, though I can't stay long...

    I was in the same predicament with pressures of time but oddly we both stayed almost the entire session. I

    Adams Rubble: I thought I sensed some camaraderie developing among the people left behind during the Malta retreat
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: yes we've been bonding I suppose :)
    Adams Rubble: I was thinking that maybe the fact that working group members were left behind had a little to do with it
    Adams Rubble: but also a tribute to the many new guardians who are creating their own energy
    Eliza Madrigal: Hm, not sure. I definitely think that nergy has been stirring...
    Adams Rubble: I felt a very warm feeling about it
    Eliza Madrigal: *energy ... I'm glad :)

    Beginning Anew

    Eliza Madrigal: I feel like a new guardian somehow lately ... looking again at our group/practices, etc...
    Eliza Madrigal: maybe seeing through the eyes of others
    Adams Rubble: I am looking through the eyes of a newcomer
    Eliza Madrigal smiles... a practice in itself
    Adams Rubble: I really am begiining anew myself...have begin to blog privately this time
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, how is that different for you?
    Adams Rubble: Hmmm
    Adams Rubble: when I am blogging no different
    Adams Rubble: I did get feedback from people before
    Eliza Madrigal: yes... that's what I wondered...
    Adams Rubble: that was important
    Adams Rubble: but there is a narcissitic quality to that too and to PaB too
    Adams Rubble: That is something I have been noticing looking more as an outsider
    Eliza Madrigal: an element of needing constant recognition/imput?
    Adams Rubble: lots of group back slapping
    Adams Rubble: I was very much caught up in that myself
    Eliza Madrigal: Hm
    Eliza Madrigal: Sometimes when people put a lot into things it is good to step back also and evaluate... as the process goes....
    Eliza Madrigal: I suppose like with anything it can be a double-edged sword...
    Adams Rubble: yes. I am not dumping on anyone
    Adams Rubble: just seeing things differently now
    Eliza Madrigal nods
    Adams Rubble: and wondering
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, am listening... is valuable to have fresh eyes, so to speak :)

    Looking back...

    Adams Rubble: PaB has been a valuable experience for me
    Adams Rubble: The SL approach has served me well
    Eliza Madrigal: And you've been wonderful for PaB
    Adams Rubble: If this is really going to be for busy people then the SL prctice seems to me to be equally important
    Eliza Madrigal: And for me. Sometimes when I'm helping people with the wiki I often remember how much time you took to show me things...
    Adams Rubble: we all learn from someone :)
    Adams Rubble: I had good mentoring when I was first in SL and then first in PaB
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, I do agree with the SL practice being vital....
    Eliza Madrigal: Would really like to work with in-world retreats, for instance...
    Adams Rubble: SL retreats are a bit tricky as we found out last summer
    Adams Rubble: one issue is the possibility of strangers popping in asking relevant and irrelevant questions
    Adams Rubble: as we had one night
    Eliza Madrigal: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: but just one night :)
    Adams Rubble: the other is the time commitment in SL
    Eliza Madrigal: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: that's the biggie
    Adams Rubble: somehow each person would have to find their own individual retreat space in RL

    The local pub

    Eliza Madrigal: I think with the new pub we've begun to feel a bit of another dimension to things... that's been nice...
    Adams Rubble: I had a wonderful conversation with Riddle a week ago at the pub
    Adams Rubble: He helped me to relax and accept my present struggle
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: for me that was as important as what I could have received in a retreat I think
    Eliza Madrigal nods
    Adams Rubble: It is good to see a little life in the village
    Eliza Madrigal: yes... I have found the same actually....
    Eliza Madrigal: but there is still a place I think for setting aside time to dwell on topics...

    Rubble keeps walking into the deep end

    Adams Rubble: yes, I do not question the value of setting aside time to explore more deeply
    Adams Rubble: I just wonder about the appearance that somehow there was not important movement in those remaining behind
    Eliza Madrigal: It may give a chance for people to get to know one another on many levels ... as we tend to talk to the same people sometimes in depth... ones whose sessions we regularly attend, etc
    Eliza Madrigal: Hm, what do you mean? Say more?
    Adams Rubble nods
    Adams Rubble: Those remaining behind do not enter a vacuum and cease their own practices
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, of course not

    I keep trying 

    Adams Rubble: Let's try it a different way
    Eliza Madrigal listens
    Adams Rubble: I am extremely happy that the ten people shared this valuable experience for them
    Eliza Madrigal: yes :)
    Adams Rubble: I feel the same way about PaB in general
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: It just seems to me that those of left behind might feel more involved if their experience filetered back into the group in a less bombastic manner
    Adams Rubble: It is at this point that Adams Rubble stops making sense
    Eliza Madrigal smiles....
    Eliza Madrigal: I was going to ask for clarity on 'bombastic'....
    Adams Rubble giggles

    Eliza looks at it differently

    Eliza Madrigal: I'm trying to see this in three ways....
    Adams Rubble listens
    Eliza Madrigal: There is Eliza in PaB... plugging along, stopping to enjoy good company and mindful focus/conversation a few times a day....
    Eliza Madrigal: There is the larger overview of ::;que music::: PAB
    Eliza Madrigal: which I care about like a hovering parent....
    Eliza Madrigal: even though I'm not a parent...
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: hah.... maybe due to my children getting older...
    Adams Rubble: parenting is a life long pursuit
    Eliza Madrigal: I like keeping up with the house aspect, I guess...
    Adams Rubble: when we are 90 we will be worrying about the 60 year old kids
    Eliza Madrigal: THEN, there is the part that plays itself out that has nothing to do with me
    Eliza Madrigal giggles and gasps at the thought
    Eliza Madrigal plans to be living on a mountaintop at 90
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: That is a nice view. Sometimes the music can be a little loud
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, and that matters
    Eliza Madrigal: Might you still be hearing echoes from beginning shiftings I wonder...
    Eliza Madrigal: in some small way?
    Adams Rubble shrugs
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Adams Rubble: I don't know
    Eliza Madrigal shrugs too, and doesn't know either :)
    Adams Rubble: yes, it is cumulative
    Adams Rubble: we need room to grow and shift
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, and a sense of time delay. I notice that at home sometimes too... that I make a decision but it is months later people react, etc
    Eliza Madrigal: or feel it... I guess I should say... so then I can respond like "what are you talking about... that's over months ago..."
    Adams Rubble: Yes, that too
    Adams Rubble: I had an experience along those lines yesterday
    Adams Rubble: in PaB
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh?
    Eliza Madrigal listens
    Adams Rubble: I was silent when people talked about where I sat at yesrday's morning session
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, yes
    Adams Rubble: It was only last night that i realized that my silence may have carried a meaning I did not intend
    Adams Rubble: I was only trying not to be a distraction. It would have been easy to make a deflecting remark had I thought of one.
    Eliza Madrigal: :) think everyone was happy to see you there
    Adams Rubble: but I learned something from it
    Adams Rubble: I am not very quick thinking; I am a slow thinker.
    Adams Rubble: that is relevant to some of the exercises :)
    Eliza Madrigal: me too... though I pretend not to be
    Eliza Madrigal: hah... I get it(whatever it is)... but then it takes a long time to process
    Adams Rubble: I do have to run. I stayed much longer than I planned to as I expect you did too
    Eliza Madrigal: yes I did...
    Adams Rubble: It was a helpful conversation to me
    Eliza Madrigal: but nice to talk to you... important, these chats :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Thank you, me too
    Adams Rubble: I will post the log
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now Adams . Thanks for grabbing the log
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye
    Adams Rubble: bye Eliza :)

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    Originally written on 18:03, 01 Feb 2010
    I was really sparked by this session... enough to to write the following:http://playasbeing.wik.is/index.php?title=Guardians%27_Contributions/Eliza/Mothering
    Posted 14:08, 9 Apr 2010
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