Don't Be Consistent, Part 2

The theme for today is continuing with "Don't be Consistent"

This is one of the Lojong Proverbs
which are a set of advanced hints
for developing self awareness and training "mind"
(which in the Buddhist world view goes well beyond intellect)

How can an eye see itself?
How can a fish learn about "water"?
How can a mind know something of itself, its shape and limits
when it is the one doing the knowing?

The psychologist Daniel Siegel
a proponent of the developing discipline
of positive psychology and mindfulness in Western thought
calls this "mindsight".

Every strength is also a weakness
and vice versa.
People complain more about suffering
but even a "good time", a pleasant experience
can be limiting
and imply that something greater is being sacrificed for it.

The idea of a "central pillar"
symbolizes aspects of the self that one is very committed to
that are important to one's sense of self
and functioning in the world
and yet, are in some sense, not truly essential.

One avenue is feedback from others, from the world.
Generally we find it very difficult to receive feedback
and to give feedback
compassionately
and more importantly, to receive it
with self-compassion.

A Spanish proverb advises
If one person says you're an ass,
feel free to disregard it completely
but if three people say you're an ass
put on a bridle
(or as I like to say, buy a bale of hay!)

Feedback, verbal or not
or "failure" - encountering one's limits
can rattle the sense of self
bringing various unpleasant experiences
(which probably depend on the nature of that "pillar")
including possibly, confusion, a sense of something missing,
a feeling of weakness, vulnerability,
a defensive hardening.

The monk Thomas Merton
famously said, that he didn't become a monk to suffer
(or to be free from suffering)
but to suffer more effectively.

Although Lojong uses adversity and challenge
as skillful means for practice
it also cautions against extreme and dramatic measures:
don't attack or undermine the heart
don't go for the throat.

Taken on another level
this is not a feature of technique
or an occasional occurrence
but a steady aspect
of a life lived fully.

The symbol of the central pillar
also relates to the spine of the body
which a fundamental aspect
of the direct experience of self
with a muscular activity
deeper than thought
with its characteristic familiar tension patterns

Sometimes in meditation
it relaxes fully
subtle efforts and strivings are are dropped
opening up a more expansive sense
of self and no-self at once

Besides meditation and contemplation
One can take up "Don't be Consistent"
as a practice
in a variety of ways.
Perhaps you know some.

A teacher / guide
once gave me a simple contemplation assignment,
an "experiment" in the school of myself:
Every day, do something "out of character"
(the nature of this act was left completely open-ended)
and then, at the end of the day
write about it briefly
and continue to do this
(for a suitable amount of time, like four months).

"What should I do with the writing" I asked.
(a question which turned out to be in character)
"Nothing, it doesn't matter, as long as you do it".

This was really interesting
because I kept doing "different" things
and then discovering
that I was still choosing
in a characteristic way.
My edges may have shifted
but the overall outline remained,
the central pillar.

But I have to admit
it was - usually - fun!

It's satisfying to go beyond oneself
but one's intent often turns back on itself.

Where do you encounter your edges and limits?
What are some ways to take this compassionately
and yet not write yourself a pass,
so that the suffering may be useful?

Its a paradox of taking things seriously
and lightly, at the same time