Presence to Self, Part 2

Last meeting we did a theme called Presence to Self
and today, we can continue with that
or if you like,
be present again freshly.

Our presence now includes thoughts and memories
from the last session
from two years of sessions
that have become part of what we are
and how we are
in the full present moment

We might take a moment to reflect
And see if we have a sense of ...
some aspects of the experience
of who we are and what we do.

What is the group for, for me?
Are there familiar
What is the "check-in" for?
What do I find myself doing with it,
and with my opportunities
when I speak with the Talking Stick?

We speak, even if it's not clear
what we are going to say
and discover something emerging
from that speaking
including all the abilities as well as restrictions
that come together to create the expression.

Are there questions, ideas, themes
that come up repeatedly?

We talk a lot about things
like mind, self, experience
and different perspectives
and qualities in experience.

By now we know
two main perspectives, two different experiences
are taking about something
like it is an object over there
and observing or describing an experience
from the inside

We've gotten good at each of these ways of speaking

"Talking about" is always a temptation
because it seems like "knowing something"
while direct experience has two faces
the known and the emerging
and feels a bit dangerous, but more alive.

I think we can listen to ourselves and notice
when the talk is about an actual experience
and when it is hypothetical.
For the contemplations we do here
it's favorable to speak from experience,
to go for descriptive rather than hypothetical or abstract language

Temptations include a pull to idealism
towards fantasies
(or even a legitimate faith)
in correctness and perfection.
But there is no "trick", no final answer,
No amount of cleverness
can make us immune to the risks
and suffering that may come
along with being present and engaged
with what is and what we are.

And what we're up to
is not to understand someone's theory
but to find different ways to appreciate
the full and present experience
that is already there.

This isn't an either/or choice
and we learn from others, and tradition,
but you could do worse
than to adopt a policy
of "this and only this"
to become expert
in the exact, precise event
of one's own experience,

You might discover, investigate, and name
your own states of mind
and find it opens doors
to something much more
than you thought.

Overall,
we're up to a lot of different things here.
As part of life,
we're learning things,
hopefully to engage in more conscious, effective action
including its suffering
and to avoid unnecessary suffering.

Sometimes we're learning options for change
or ways of approaching things
we might want to talk about
things that have this strong "problem" perspective:
stress,
depression,
aging...
name your own concern(s) here!

Though as we know
this can "sink" one's attention
and lead one to lose sight of the whole

So we often explore various images
or metaphors of wholeness
which are not just "talking about"
but also templates for an actual encounter
a direct experience with facets
of that wholeness.

We spoke about several qualities of mind,
called Beginner's Mind,
Abiding Mind,
No-Mind
these are like colors of the spectrum
which without a prism, appears white.

The mind can be used as that prism.
On a given day we might not notice
without it being pointed out
that everything is "red".

The Wheel, or circle
is one image of wholeness
there's a still point at the center
we can explore the spokes
which go in different directions
or the rim.

Or we could "turn" the wheel
and go through the changes it represents
or the other way around
note the position of the wheel
at a particular time.

We could also divide the circle in other ways
and practice cultivation or awareness
on that basis too, for example,
mind-of-thinking and conceptualizing
mind-of-feeling and sensing
mind-of-movement and action.

The wholeness that the Wheel represents
is a lopsided wholeness
in some degree fractured or broken

It's a matter of perspective
whether it's wholeness inside fragmentation
or the other way around.
or as complete and perfect as the wide sky
nothing missing, nothing extra.

Meditation can create a regeneration
a re-construction of new wholeness
after the deconstruction and dropping away.
This is the turning of the wheel.

The "thinking" we do here
can be a vehicle
to re-engage with the whole
and with awareness
and then it can be let go.

It's a "way", but its not necessary
maybe we have that awareness already
and more directly

If so, we keep on "thinking"
just like we keep on breathing
because that's what mind does:
it's either moving, or still.

We came up with some important insights
or rather, reminders
at the last session

You likely remember some of yours;
here are some that I recall

It takes a very relaxed state
to see the fragments within the wholeness
and a friendly attitude
a welcoming
to all that shows itself.

There's a sign or signal
of this growing fullness of awareness and presence
which is a sense of Beauty
that's not touched or reduced by suffering.

It's a bundle of many qualities
including one some have called mercy
as in "the quality of mercy is not strained".

It's possible that in the case of depression
the sadness might come to be accepted
as a friend and support
although the ideas and stories about it
the thoughts that go along with it
might be let go.

As time goes on
we can explore more ways
to enter and explore these areas of mind.

You may recall
some place you were intrigued
or wanted to go deeper
or something that was like
part of a bigger circle.

And as always
what we do here
is like plowing up the earth
of our past knowledge and experience
softening it, perhaps
or bringing new things to the surface.