Presence to Self, Recapitulation

The theme for today is "Recapitulation on Presence to Self"

Recent themes have invited inquiry into "self"
as an experience
as the interplay of reality and awareness
and the idea that this could be apprehended
by mindfulness, or alertness, or attention
at least
in part
in such a way that something new emerges
but not so much for finding "answers",
grasping things with simple concepts and formulas
or striving to fix things or change things.

But "thinking" beyond (though including) language
And perhaps a different sense of engagement.

Anything that "came up" is just right
when we went to look at these themes
and a lot of different things came up.

I'd like to try something we haven't done here before

To review things we talked about
in the previous meetings
and see what they mean today.

We might remember where these things came from
before they became figures of speech:
from experience
from moments of pause
sometimes surrounded with the allowing space of meditation

To do this effectively
I find it helps to gather myself
like I'm getting ready to go out
on an interesting outdoor walk
to see some sights

and find just the right distance
from what is being said
to be able to both observe
and also be moved by it

like the story of Goldilocks and the porridge
not too hot, not too cold,
just right.

And, it's a bit tricky sometimes
not to be hypnotized by language
into thinking the words refer to something independent
or that they always mean the same thing
or any particular thing at all.

But they meant something when we said them
(perhaps more than we can grasp even while saying them)
and they may continue to mean something
(in an interesting, or confusing, or courageous way)
or move towards meaning something different or new.

You might sense them as a collage
or a reminder of an insight
or something you'd like to get back into,

Or pick up and go with one or two highlights

Which might seem a bit sad
since they all have dignity and importance
but there's always a choice of
which few get focus and attention

the others may be happy (or not)
to live on in the subconscious
and in the minds and actions of other people
active and alive there in many ways.

That was then, this is now,
and the words speak across the greater present moment.

Here they are:
I touch the metaphorical lamp the Genie swirls out
of the many ideas and responses and things we said recently
related to experience of self:

Experience and words
    Making sense with a vehicle to share
    Sometimes dancing, or expressing through artistic means
Need for words?
    Share
    Change
    Control
Language as
    Shield
    Method
    Tools
Language
    A source of false either/or choices
Thinking lately
    that I say the same things over and over again
    and would like to be open to diversity
In-the-world mindfulness
    What is it
    Is it possible?
    What are some impediments?
Equanimity
Prayer
    in my own way
Appreciation
    Could it be
    To recognize all facets of a particular reality
    look at it unflinchingly
    seeing and accepting what IS
    rather than pushing it out of awareness
    or making a fantasy
Avoiding certain realities
    that provoke
Emotions I don't accept within myself
    Feeling sorry for myself
    Sadness, anxiety, or depression
    I have remedies for these ...
Dependency, loss of dignity, aging
    Have them, struggle with them
    I have my preferences!
    Pride?
Life is real when "I am"
Knowing / experiencing
    beyond language
    through self
    as self
Trying (or not)
    to figure things out
Theory making creatures
Boredom
    resting with it
    falling through
        into depression
Depression
    Could the sadness become a friend?
Why keep reading
    spiritual books?
Uncertainty, insecurity, vulnerability
    Groundlessness
One way of getting into it
    The "charnel house" contemplation
Social conditioning
    to not
        Trust in self
Looking plainly at self
    is scary
Imagination
    as making pictures
Self-image
    examining where it is false
    as suffering
Woodpeckers
    are beautiful
One needs a little madness
    to break the ropes

That's the end of the list.

We now put the genie back into the bottle.

The floor is open
for sharing ideas and experiences.