Self Images, Part 1

The theme for today is Self Images.

In what ways is it possible
to "know oneself"?
How do we do that
and how can we "get a handle on it"?

In general, our abilities for knowing
were designed to look outward
or rather, not designed
but evolved in response to conditions in the world.

A lot of that "world" is a social world
consisting of other people

and they have the same relationship to it
so it's a social world
that is co-created.

Who we are
is an emerging collaborative discovery.

Your environment created you
to tend to itself.
You are dreamed up
by your family, friends, associates
and by the physical world
to tend to itself.

We focus on differences
not what we have in common
like looking at the ripples
on the top of a body of water
not at the invisible depths
of the water.

The 99 percent one has in common
with others is not as significant,
does not loom as large in our perception
and our strategies
as the 1 percent differences.

Our sense organs
are used mainly for perceiving the world
and do double duty for perceiving self
but there's no distinction in them
between self and world.
It's like they see the moving surface of a bubble
a thin membrane between "inside" and "outside".

Mindsight,
or insight to self
is an indirect affair
requiring imagination

like imagining the presence of wind
when watching the waving leaves of a tree

it's a direct perception
but an indirect knowing.

Ask someone who they are,
what they know of self
and you generally don't get a report
about the actual experience
but a "self image"
which is a "free idea"
something that is on their "map".

It might be an idea
about habits,
attitudes,
values,
or competencies

and is usually  
something that could be questioned or

disbelieved
not something that is "always true".

It's interesting to look at those signs on the map:
habits, attitudes, values, and competencies
and imagine how they come to be,
how they got structured,
what is "inside" and "outside" them.

There are the "off the map" aspects of
experience
where one is blind
or has no words or concepts for what happens
or gets "blindsided" by experience
bumping into the unexpected and unknown,
looking at what one is "bad at",
IN-competencies,
things one DE-values,
what one's attitudes turn away from,
and the things one habitually never does.

This would be looking at the other side of those signs.

It's possible to do that while looking outward
at others and the world,
knowing that one is also seeing self
indirectly.

Here's a story.

There was a wandering dervish
a Sufi teacher
who would travel, giving talks
and helping people gain insight
themselves and their lives.

He came to a remote village
and met the village elder.

They told him the people were in need of instruction
and asked him to speak to them.

He was happy to oblige.
The next day they assembled
and he gave them one of his standard talks.

And it went very well!
He found them very receptive to his ideas,
very understanding

and more than that
he found himself being very eloquent
and his heart and mind seemed to flow easily
and naturally.

Afterwards they all thanked him profusely
and told him what a great talk it had been.

He was pleased too with how things had gone,
and with the quality of the talk,
and thought
my travels have been good
and I've grown as a speaker
and am finally becoming good at this!

He talked to the elder
who confirmed that
it had been a very good talk.

The next day he saw the elder again
who invited him to another gathering.
He got ready to give another talk
but this time when the meeting started
they chose a speaker at random
by drawing names out of a hat.

The man chosen to talk
was the village baker.
He also gave an excellent, eloquent talk
and everybody was excited
and illuminated
except the dervish, who was feeling a bit dull,
like he was at a distance from what was being said.

After this meeting
the wandering dervish
started questioning himself:
"I must actually be pretty mediocre
pretty average after all"
he thought.

That night he again encountered the elder,
who greeted him warmly
and told him:

"Know that everyone in this village
is open and receptive to listening
to the words of the Friend
who speaks to us in many ways
and with many voices.
Yesterday you were one of those voices.
Know that the 'you' you experienced yesterday as

excellent and full of light
and the 'you' that you felt today as ordinary and dull
are neither real, and separate,
but are different voices of the Friend
and that we listen to them all equally".

Perhaps, like the wandering dervish
we can see both ourselves
and the essence of the village baker
in the subtle qualities
baked into the loaf of bread
and in the music and rhythms of the speaker's speech.