2013.03.18 19:00 - Conscious Transformation

The Guardian for this meeting was Eliza Madrigal. The comments are by Eliza Madrigal.

Eliza Madrigal: Evening Catrina :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: evening :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: love the grass how do you do that?
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, it is in a list of commands... so if you are wearing your PaB host tag, you can type in "/9grass" (but without the quotes) into the main chat
Eliza Madrigal: you can also type "/9low" to lower the fountain... which I do a lot
Catrinamonblue Resident: neat :) ty
Eliza Madrigal: there are other things... "/9help" will work for
Eliza Madrigal: lots of layers to everything
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes :)

Eliza Madrigal: I really like the photo you used to make a logo for the party... played with it quite a bit
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I had fun with that one
Catrinamonblue Resident: I love photography a bit of a hobby
Eliza Madrigal: have you heard of photography as contemplative practice.... let me try to remember the word... hm
Eliza Madrigal: Miksang
Catrinamonblue Resident: what does that mean?
Eliza Madrigal: Miksang is a Tibetan word that means "good eye."

(from the site: http://www.shambhala.org/arts.php)

Catrinamonblue Resident: :)

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: so it is a little like caligraphy or flower arranging, in that I guess the photo stops you in some way... I've not practiced it very much but it is sort of the way I think of contemplation in daily life
Eliza Madrigal: catching what is going on

Catrinamonblue Resident: I think for myself taking the photo also stops me :) I pause as I press the shutter button
Catrinamonblue Resident: looking and seeing more than just what is there
Catrinamonblue Resident: a bit hard to explain
Eliza Madrigal: interesting to hear

Catrinamonblue Resident: there are so many layers in a photo, not just foreground and back ground, but colour and sharpness
Catrinamonblue Resident: movement
Catrinamonblue Resident: that stops
Catrinamonblue Resident: potential unleashed
Catrinamonblue Resident: then when I put it on the computer and into photoshop there is a whole new world of layers to see

Eliza Madrigal: do you keep the originals?
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Catrinamonblue Resident: always
Eliza Madrigal: :)

Eliza Madrigal: a few times in life I've taken a photo that afterward reveals something I didn't see at all
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes :)
Eliza Madrigal: find that amazing... it happened at our Windhorse retreat in 2011 in fact.... two frogs appeared on lilypads
Eliza Madrigal: I'd photographed only the lotuses
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: it has happened to be many times too :)
Eliza Madrigal: makes one feel they're the one who has been snapped, hah
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)

Ewan Bonham: hi folks...
Catrinamonblue Resident: I have shared this before :) some of my photos :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladyjohanna456/

Eliza Madrigal: Hi Ewan :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Ewan
Eliza Madrigal: Catrina and I have been discussing photography
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: stopping to take a look ...
Eliza Madrigal clicks
Ewan Bonham: hi folks..
Catrinamonblue Resident: one of my fav's is the puff flower down near the bottom of the page :) that was one that made me stop :)
Eliza Madrigal: these! are! BEAUTIFUL!
Catrinamonblue Resident: And the falling down house :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty Eliza :)
Eliza Madrigal: I was about to mention the puff flower :) though also the path of smooth snow... reminds me of the phrase Eos named his village spot "clearing of Being"

Catrinamonblue Resident: like that "clearing of Being"

Eliza Madrigal: would love to visit PEI some day
Catrinamonblue Resident: We go almost every summer :) I want to retire out there :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: thus the Anne of Green Gables connection
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Eliza Madrigal: Ewan do you have an art-as-spiritual-practice ?
Ewan Bonham: I do not..
Eliza Madrigal: what *stops* you as you go about the day?

(Ewan goes "away")

Eliza Madrigal: for some it is music I guess...have a friend that clears himself that way... a few pieces he plays
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods

Eliza Madrigal: Hi Kori :) How settling?

--BELL--

Korel Laloix: Mostly there. Still figuring out where to put some things and if I can get rid of some stuff. Thanks for asking. Getting the place arranged is easy though, making it feel like home is proving rather difficult.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Rosatta :)
Eliza Madrigal: imagine so.... inhabiting the place is something besides moving in 
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Rosatta, pleasure to see you again
Korel Laloix: Too much space just for me.
Eliza Madrigal: well, perhaps "potential"
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Rosatta Resident: When you put things on the walls, that helps a lot to make a place feel like home - at least it does for me
Rosatta Resident: Hi, Eliza, ty : )
Korel Laloix: I find myself craving Sl interaction as I have no one pysically here in this appartment
Eliza Madrigal: that's true... when you sell a house the first thing a realtor suggests is taking down personal pictures so that the next person can imagine their life there

Eliza Madrigal: :) any exchanges with neighbors?
Korel Laloix: Some good folks it seems.
Eliza Madrigal: sounds promising
Catrinamonblue Resident: :) that's good
Korel Laloix: Very busy people around my age. More women than men lucily
Korel Laloix: No loud people so far either.
Catrinamonblue Resident: bonus :)
Eliza Madrigal: aw ... men can make great friends
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Korel Laloix: Well... some interesting knocking at unexpected hours... lol
Korel Laloix: Yes.. but tend to be noisy.
Eliza Madrigal giggles
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)

Korel Laloix: Never lived in this sort of arrangment before.
Korel Laloix: So it is all new to me.
Eliza Madrigal: :) new perspectives
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Korel Laloix: Not as bad as I expected really.
Korel Laloix: But I do like the kitchen and the jet tub.
Catrinamonblue Resident: ooohhhhh jet tub
Catrinamonblue Resident: lucky girl
Korel Laloix: And there is a nice little balcony off of the loft that faces sounth so I will be able to grow some things.
Catrinamonblue Resident: yay
Eliza Madrigal: actually.... this is quite fitting for our APAPB theme... to appreciate the presence of appearances is perhaps to greet everything as though it is entirely new, while also appreciating its aspects including history... to make that sort of room

Eliza Madrigal: Oh, nice Korel... what can you not live without having fresh, after being so spoiled with Grandma?
Korel Laloix: Food is an issue for sure.. i am eating a lot of junk food but loosing weight... grrr
Korel Laloix: I do miss her cooking, even when forced on me.
Korel Laloix: But I am still going to help her with her garden... unless she moves in with me here.
Korel Laloix: Then i will really have to figure something out for her.
Eliza Madrigal: you can't run and live off junk food and sugar... will break you down... not to mention making her worry
Eliza Madrigal helps grandma out by shaking her finger at you :P
Korel Laloix: Have you been talking to her already?
Korel Laloix smiles
Eliza Madrigal: hahah

Korel Laloix: This is proving difficult in ways that I did not expect.
Korel Laloix: And the things i worried about the most are almost irrelivent.
Catrinamonblue Resident: somehow life always seem to do that
Eliza Madrigal: it does
Korel Laloix: I am just way out of my comfort zone.
Eliza Madrigal: it is a great growth time I'm sure, but also a vulnerable time
Korel Laloix: But moving back into it now.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: Just glad I have the next couple of days off to finish settling in.
Eliza Madrigal: getting into routines will help as well
Korel Laloix: Reeba did a lovely job of decroating the place as well. That helps a lot.
Korel Laloix: It feels almost homey, but not like home.. Hard to explain what I mean.
Eliza Madrigal: angels all around
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)

Eliza Madrigal: takes time :)

--BELL--

Korel Laloix: And everyone seems to want to help.. so thankful for that.. Or maybe they just want to see the trainwreck.... me on my own... lol
Eliza Madrigal: :) am sure its the former
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: hard to receive help sometimes...especially if all one feels they have to offer in return is "thank you"
Eliza Madrigal: but something gracious there
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Korel Laloix: I did offer to cook.. funny ... no one took my offer... hmmm... smiles
Eliza Madrigal: hahahaa.... yet ;-)
Eliza Madrigal: offer to order in? lol

Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Hana
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Hana :) see you are still hosting your dove?
Hana Furlough: Hi all
Korel Laloix: Stirfried mac and cheese with canned spinach is not that bad.
Korel Laloix smiles
Korel Laloix: Ordering in may be a good plan.
Hana Furlough: i am indeed... she's wearing me
Catrinamonblue Resident: better than the mushrrom soup and peas I used to do on toast :)

Eliza Madrigal: :) we've been talking about many things tonight Hana... photography and art-as-practice, moving and nesting, food :)
Hana Furlough: sounds nice : )
Eliza Madrigal: appreciation is the official theme :) an art perhaps

Rosatta Resident: lol it is sitting on your head
Rosatta Resident: good thing it's cyber and doesn't poop
Korel Laloix: Oh ick
Eliza Madrigal grins
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: This move has made me appreciate a lot of things that I sort of took for granted before.
Hana Furlough: i like to think she'd have better manners than that, but who knows
Catrinamonblue Resident: listens to Korel
Rosatta Resident: It's bird day at PAB : )

Rosatta Resident: Korel, share with us the insights you've had - if they are not too personal
Korel Laloix: Just.. how much people are willing to help out with things... and how much I do NEED people around me.
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: And how much I depend on things that I had not realized.
Korel Laloix: And how many smiles you can get from a cat in a day.
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Korel Laloix: And what smells you miss.. and what noises.
Korel Laloix: I have had way too much time alone in the appartment evidently.. smiles
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol :)
Korel Laloix: Coffe does not smell as good here... no idea why.
Eliza Madrigal: "too much time and space" hmmm :)

Korel Laloix: I know things are differnt here... but...
Korel Laloix: The way some things appear different sort of makes me look to see if it is me that changed.
Korel Laloix: if that makes sense.
Eliza Madrigal: it really does
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Eliza Madrigal: and "who are you" in this new and strange context?
Catrinamonblue Resident: sorry guys I'm more tired than I thought, falling asleep here :)

Rosatta Resident: There is a place in the change experience that always feels like the Twilight Zone to me
Eliza Madrigal: :) wish you pleasant sleep Catrina - ty for sharing your photos
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye all sweet dreams in whatever place you find yourself this night :)
Korel Laloix: Take care.
Eliza Madrigal: please say more Rosatta?
Hana Furlough: bye cat~
Rosatta Resident: Good night, dearest Cat
Korel Laloix: Yes please

Rosatta Resident: Eliza, what Korel said just triggered that memory for me
Rosatta Resident: I listened to a woman who was talking about change
Rosatta Resident: and she said, "You know, how you feel as if the wind could blow through you?"
Rosatta Resident: And I thought, "Yes! I've never heard it put liek that before, but that's perfect!"
Rosatta Resident: I don't know if this will have any value for you, Korel, as you face these massive changes,
Rosatta Resident: but I read a book one time that has stuck with me
Eliza Madrigal considering that... yes... as though a threshold throws one into question

--BELL--

Rosatta Resident: It said that change is like being a lobster shedding it's shell. There are 3 stages. 1. Is the shell getting too small and the need to shed it; 2. is the time of being soft and vulnerable as the new shell forms, and 3. is being comfortable in the new shell
Korel Laloix: Which book?
Eliza Madrigal: that's sweet
Rosatta Resident: I'm sorry, I had to have read that book 30 years ago
Korel Laloix: That does makes sense.
Korel Laloix: Oh OK.
Rosatta Resident: I have a head full of trivia and no idea where most of it came from
Rosatta Resident: Just odd bits that make sense to me and seem to help me make a bit of sense out of my life
Korel Laloix: I am normally not afraid of risk or change.
Eliza Madrigal: patchwork
Korel Laloix: And this one has not been bad.. it has just been... odd

Eliza Madrigal: :) Greetings stevenaia
Eliza Madrigal: you snuck in

Rosatta Resident: Korel, perhaps because so much changed at once?
Korel Laloix: Possibly.. but really, I had time to plan this, I did my homework.
stevenaia Michinaga: didn't wnat to disturb
Korel Laloix: The first time I moved I did with no notice and went to another state.
Rosatta Resident: There is the planning, and there is the actual climbing the mountain :-D
Korel Laloix: And that was easier for me than this in a lot of ways.
Eliza Madrigal: conscious change
Korel Laloix: Not more easy.. more comfortable.
Eliza Madrigal: perhaps there are shifts and then great shifts
Eliza Madrigal: and you are quite aware of the significance this time
Korel Laloix: Yes I think so at least.
Korel Laloix: New job, new apparement, never been on my own.
Korel Laloix: All things I was aware of well in advance.
Korel Laloix: Just one more mystery with my brain.
Eliza Madrigal: all the maps in the world don't prepare you for a really new adventure

stevenaia Michinaga: I re ember the first time I was literally alone (New job,, new location, no one from my past was neat) a time of great transformation
Korel Laloix: Very true.. maybe when I did my no notice move, I did not have time to make judgements first.
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, a new adventure
Korel Laloix: With this move I certainly did.
Eliza Madrigal: I've never really been on my own.... and I'm nearly 43 :)
Korel Laloix: It is different for sure.
Korel Laloix: Makes you think and worry about things that you never did before.
Eliza Madrigal: (though, I've had some adventures for sure :))

Korel Laloix: And it is odd, I have no issues jumping on my bike and takign a week long camping trip by myself.
Korel Laloix: But being in this appartment alone does sort of scare me.
stevenaia Michinaga: over time you can get to the point where everything can be an adventure
Korel Laloix: No idea what that is about.
Eliza Madrigal: maybe once you have grandma over a few times, and she sort of blesses the place... it will be a kind of rite of passage
Korel Laloix: I hope she comes to live.. but that is a bit selfish of me.
Eliza Madrigal: think those things are important, marking the moment, snapshot
Korel Laloix: I guess I do need to do a better job and embracing the memories.
Eliza Madrigal: am sure you're doing just fine :)

Rosatta Resident: You might be grieving, Korel
Eliza Madrigal: ah... Rosatta that is very good point of observation
Korel Laloix: Greiving?
Korel Laloix: I guess so.
Korel Laloix: I was soooo very comfortable and at home there.
Korel Laloix: The first time in my life.
Korel Laloix: And I was sort of forced out of it for no really just reason.
Korel Laloix: So... yes.. I guess I need to think about that.
Korel Laloix: Thanks for that idea.
Eliza Madrigal nods... allow for that
Rosatta Resident: I came in late so I didn't know it was a forced move
Rosatta Resident: I'm sorry

Eliza Madrigal: I need to be off to bed, after the bell, appreciate you all and this time together
Korel Laloix: Thank you... take care.. night.
Rosatta Resident: Ty for being here, Eliza

--BELL--

stevenaia Michinaga: night Eliza
Rosatta Resident: That is a totaly lovely dress
Rosatta Resident: You are my favorite fashion plate : )
stevenaia Michinaga: I'd say spring is here if we didn;t get so much snow today
Eliza Madrigal: night friends ... glad we can be like a group of girlfriends helping you settle into new place Kori :)

Eliza Madrigal smiles
Eliza Madrigal: thank you
Eliza Madrigal: this is a delight to wear
Korel Laloix: Ciao
Rosatta Resident: Sweet dreams

Eliza Madrigal: Cat says she is protesting the snow by dressing in green :P
Eliza Madrigal: thanks, wish you all pleasant dreams as well
Eliza Madrigal: nite
Hana Furlough: night, eliza!

Hana Furlough: i should get going as well
Hana Furlough: good luck with everything, korel
stevenaia Michinaga: night Hana, I'm off to bed as well
Hana Furlough: night, all!
Rosatta Resident: I love you head-pidgeon. Thank you for wearing her : )
Korel Laloix: Thanks.
stevenaia Michinaga: enjoy your adventure, Korel
Korel Laloix smiles
stevenaia Michinaga: night Rosatta
Korel Laloix: Back to reality for a while.
Korel Laloix: Ciao all.