Genesis talks to Adams about the way that her participation with PaB changed over time.
As I read her interview, so much resonates, and also I am reminded that PaB isn't necessarily "comfortable" for anyone. If I have personal interests that seem not followed up on, or others do, that is part of things. We are left with our own personal explorations, yet those explorations might be freed up from our grasping in various ways ... might take on wings.
genesis Zhangsun: for me the way I relate to it has changed a lot
genesis Zhangsun: objectively hard to say
genesis Zhangsun: we are still sitting around talking about the same/similar topics
genesis Zhangsun: just from different angles as we did in the beginning
Adams Rubble: would you care to say more about you relating to it?
genesis Zhangsun: sure...in the beginning there was a freshness to everything
genesis Zhangsun: it was as I said earlier mysterious and mystical
genesis Zhangsun: the experience of becoming a part of PaB
genesis Zhangsun: I knew that something had happened to me
genesis Zhangsun: the way I saw the world had dramatically changed
genesis Zhangsun: and I was seeking others who could help me understand what had happened
genesis Zhangsun: it was thrilling
genesis Zhangsun: I felt like I had fallen down the rabbit hole: Alice in Wonderland
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: there was almost a high about the whole thing
genesis Zhangsun: which had to end for me: and I knew it the whole time I was riding it
genesis Zhangsun: there were various points through the year where the feeling of bliss returned
genesis Zhangsun: but never like in the beginning
genesis Zhangsun: I sort of yearned for that bliss
genesis Zhangsun: spent a long time grasping for it
genesis Zhangsun: until I realized I could never return to it by grasping
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: and so slowly I learned how to let go
genesis Zhangsun: and then something more real started to emerge
genesis Zhangsun: nothing as exciting but closer to what was really going on
genesis Zhangsun: who I really am
genesis Zhangsun: which had nothing to do with that bliss
genesis Zhangsun: or everything to do with it :)
(snip)
Adams Rubble: Pema is helping us to test our skills--to learn to fly where we have never flown before :)
genesis Zhangsun: yes :) like a raven into the void :)
Adams Rubble: It is interesting that we have such different perspectives on things and at the same time so similar
Adams Rubble: yes, hehe: I hadn't caught the meaning
genesis Zhangsun: ravens are mythically messenger birds
genesis Zhangsun: they bring news from the "other side"
Adams Rubble: ah: so this one is going the other way?
genesis Zhangsun: no this one is not going in either direction, it protects the void
genesis Zhangsun: the place beyond form
genesis Zhangsun: the place of potentialities
genesis Zhangsun: we are those protectors
genesis Zhangsun: the Guardians
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: making sure no one form starts to dominate
genesis Zhangsun: whether as an idea, as a person,: to preserve the fertile void
genesis Zhangsun: :)
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: I am getting kind of spooky
Adams Rubble: hehe, I was just going to ask to leave this in
Adams Rubble: It is very poetical :)
genesis Zhangsun: ty :)
genesis Zhangsun: kind of makes sense though no?
Adams Rubble: yes: food for thought
genesis Zhangsun: that the moment someone traps it, names it, puts it into form
genesis Zhangsun: and calls it the "answer"
genesis Zhangsun: it is wrong
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: so the "answer" is formless
genesis Zhangsun: and we must preserve that
genesis Zhangsun: and protect one another from forgetting that and destroying it
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: and encouraging one another to keep exploring the places where no light shines in
Adams Rubble: yes, the hardest of all
genesis Zhangsun: hard and marvelous, anything less is a lie
(Full interview: https://wiki.playasbeing.org/Chronicles/Chapter_04%3a_The_First_Months/C._Genesis)