2009.05.13 01:00 - Appreciation & the retreat

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Tarmel Udimo. The comments are by Tarmel Udimo. Susi joined me and was quickly followed by Pema. We spoke about having to shift the Phenomenology Workshop due to Pema being in Japan (I haven't included it as it was outside PaB) and then we launched into Pema's ideas about the retreat!

    Susi Alcott: Hello Tarmel
    Tarmel Udimo: Hi Susi:)
    Tarmel Udimo: had a good day Susi?
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: Thanks Susi, what is that;)
    Susi Alcott: pls rezz and see :)
    Tarmel Udimo: that's very sweet (a beautiful card)
    Tarmel Udimo: Thank you Susi
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Tarmel Udimo: hey pema
    Pema Pera: Hi Tarmel and Susi!
    Susi Alcott: Hi Pema :)
    Pema Pera: :)
    Tarmel Udimo: How's the connection today Pema?
    Pema Pera: oh fine! I'm in my hotel room now, which has ethernet connection
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: The bottleneck has been my own time, more than anything else; I have been rather busy here in Japan
    Pema Pera: mostly astrophysics work
    Pema Pera: how is life?
    Tarmel Udimo: trucking along, getting over a cold:)
    Pema Pera: good luck!
    Pema Pera: that's always a drag
    Pema Pera: and how is "stopping, dropping, not-doing, Being, and all that", if I may ask?
    Tarmel Udimo: well its always constantly in my thoughts Pema
    Tarmel Udimo: Being I mean, or experiencing it or thinking about it:)
    Tarmel Udimo: trying to observe life from that perspective
    Pema Pera: any recent anecdote or example?
    Tarmel Udimo: more to do with seeing through things
    Tarmel Udimo: I was very impacted by one of the last workshops sessions held by Stim
    Tarmel Udimo: Pila had posted an article about truth
    Tarmel Udimo: and I was inspired to actually really try to live truthfully - as opposed to just thinking or talking about it
    Pema Pera: isn't it interesting, whenever you try to do something *really*, how you discover more and more and more subtle layers, beyond what you first saw?
    Tarmel Udimo: tell me about it:)
    Pema Pera: like an onion . . . after each layer a more subtle one
    Tarmel Udimo: its very subtle
    Tarmel Udimo: it can also be a little confronting
    Pema Pera: in what way, with yourself you mean?
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Tarmel Udimo: seeing how many shades of untruths there are:)
    Pema Pera: indeed
    Pema Pera: it can be quite shocking . . . .
    Tarmel Udimo: yes, tarmel hangs her head
    Pema Pera: As for me, recently I have noticed more and more the tendency to "lean into the future"
    Pema Pera: in more and more subtle ways
    Tarmel Udimo: yes?
    Pema Pera: it is one thing to tell myself to live in the present, and not to run after goals
    Tarmel Udimo: can you say more
    Pema Pera: to do what I can do in a non-doing way, in a wu-wei way, without expectations
    Pema Pera: leaving the results of my actions to the universe
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Tarmel Udimo: that's a good one to work on
    Pema Pera: and in many ways I have tried to cultivated that way of acting for decades now, ever since I first heard about it
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: and yet, there are many occasions where I noticed in increasingly subtle ways that I am still hooked to tiny results
    Pema Pera: to leaning into the future, to have expectations . . . .
    Tarmel Udimo: but are you noticing that you are still anticipating
    Pema Pera: really resting in the present would mean to let go of everything completely, to see that each moment is totally complete
    Pema Pera: you could die after that moment
    Pema Pera: or not, it doesn't make a difference
    Tarmel Udimo: sounds like you are close
    Pema Pera: and if there actually is another moment, you could say "thank you" to the universe, and live that completely too
    Pema Pera: and so on
    Tarmel Udimo: and since you are aware of it you are on the verge
    Pema Pera: hahaha, I feel stil far away from it
    Pema Pera: for example, when I notice that I get annoyed at having hundreds of emails in my inbox that I haven't had time to read yet
    Susi Alcott: sry I must leave
    Pema Pera: buy Susi!
    Susi Alcott: wishing you very good time
    Pema Pera: u 2 Susi!
    Susi Alcott: was nice to meet you both
    Tarmel Udimo: By Susi
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Susi left in a flurry of beautiful yellow and purple hearts that floated free form through out the Pagoda.....
    Tarmel Udimo: wow, nice
    Pema Pera: wow, quite a departure!
    Tarmel Udimo: yes;)
    Pema Pera: as for hanging your head, that is a natural reaction, and there the challenge is to appreciate everything, also the ongoing mistakes we make
    Tarmel Udimo: I think its OK to get annoyed, angry, sad, angry
    Tarmel Udimo: its the clinging that we must eliminate
    Pema Pera: appreciating the presence of *any* form of appearance
    Pema Pera: or .. . appreciate the clinging
    Pema Pera: without even trying to eliminate it
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Pema Pera: perhaps appreciation will let it evaporate
    Pema Pera: or not
    Pema Pera: that's not the central point
    Tarmel Udimo: so no trying to eliminate leaning to the future either:)
    Pema Pera: exactly
    Pema Pera: noticing it
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: "seeing is enough"
    Pema Pera: such a powerful expression
    Tarmel Udimo: seeing changes things
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Tarmel Udimo: but this not enough for some people
    Tarmel Udimo: there is still much yearning for more as i did when i first landed here
    Tarmel Udimo: at PaB
    Tarmel Udimo: I think if you are really trying to see and just that, it is enough
    Pema Pera: yes, and I think in principle anyone can do that
    Tarmel Udimo: it is a lifetime's work
    Pema Pera: and at the same time it is all over already . . . .
    Tarmel Udimo: you mean life?
    Pema Pera: we can see that there is nothing to do, and celebrate that fact
    Tarmel Udimo: or trying?
    Pema Pera: no, the work
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: it is actually possible to be *really* radical, and to refuse any further work and strive and reaching
    Pema Pera: and to celebrate that fact
    Pema Pera: by appreciating the presence of what appears
    Pema Pera: inner and outer
    Pema Pera: lock stock and barrel
    Pema Pera: totally
    Tarmel Udimo: does it work for you?
    Pema Pera: yes, when I remember
    Tarmel Udimo: hehehe
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Pema Pera: and when I don't, everything gets so much harder, that I quickly remember again :)
    Pema Pera: the 9-sec every 15 min helps a lot
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Tarmel Udimo: and yet when for instance one looks at seeing through the untruths
    Tarmel Udimo: this feels like an important activity
    Pema Pera: yes, but that is also appreciation
    Pema Pera: I'm wondering whether to focus the whole retreat on "appreciating the presence of appearance"
    Pema Pera: in August, I mean
    Tarmel Udimo: well the wonderful thing is that we are all PaBers, which means you could begin this way and see where it takes us
    Pema Pera: appreciating the way in which we feel compelled to tell untruth
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: seeing through the untruths can be done in a heavy and in a light way
    Tarmel Udimo: It has such depth that there will be a lot to explore
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: heavy way: with the intention to catch the mistakes and repair them, with an improvement orientation
    Tarmel Udimo: depth in "appreciating the presence of appearance"
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Tarmel Udimo: rather than just observe and appreciate?
    Pema Pera: light way: lovely observing how and why we feel we have to tell untruths, even in very subtle ways, appreciating the whole dynamic, and then letting it fall off like a ripe fruit, or a scab on a wound
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Tarmel Udimo: and will there be periods of meditation?
    Pema Pera: the lightest form of this light way is just appreciating the presence of appearance
    Tarmel Udimo: okay
    Pema Pera: yes, sitting/walking/being with that sentence
    Pema Pera: that would be one form
    Tarmel Udimo: not even qualifying it
    Tarmel Udimo: understand
    Tarmel Udimo: so a sentence a day?
    Pema Pera: or a sentence for a week :)
    Tarmel Udimo: ohhhhhh
    Tarmel Udimo: yikes
    Pema Pera: although different individuals could focus on a different sentence
    Pema Pera: or change them -- Play as Being is playful and free form
    Pema Pera: and if you really want to change the sentences, fine!
    Pema Pera: there is just enormous value at sticking with one approach and really exploring it
    Pema Pera: to see where it leads to, rather than darting continuously at the surface level, looking for new entertainments . . . .
    Tarmel Udimo: agreed
    Tarmel Udimo: it was more a question as to what you were wanting to do?
    Pema Pera: I'd like us all to "Play as Being" in whatever way we can find to work
    Tarmel Udimo: yes
    Pema Pera: and I think a sentence will help to focus our attention
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: Perhaps I should send an email to the PaB group right now
    Pema Pera: I've been meaning to do that, just been so busy
    Tarmel Udimo: nods
    Pema Pera: ok, will do. Great talking with you, Tarmel!
    Tarmel Udimo: why don't you take the time now
    Pema Pera: yes
    Tarmel Udimo: yes great talking with you - as always
    Tarmel Udimo: bye pema
    Pema Pera: same here :)
    Pema Pera: be well!
    Tarmel Udimo: you too
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