2009.03.02 01:00 - “Trust has less meaning if it can't be hurt.”

The Guardian for this meeting was Gaya Ethaniel. Soon after she arrived at the playgoda, Mediumflow and Fefonz arrive.

Mediumflow Difference: Hi Gaya.
Gaya Ethaniel: Hello Mediumflow.
Gaya Ethaniel: Have you been here before?
Gaya Ethaniel: If not, I can give you a short introduction of PlayasBeing [I'm hosting a discussion session at the moment].
Mediumflow Difference: I attended the session yesterday at 1pm.
Gaya Ethaniel nods. Nice to meet you. How are you today?
Mediumflow Difference: Thank you. I am fine.
Mediumflow Difference: Like to just sit. And meditate.
Gaya Ethaniel nods.
Mediumflow Difference: :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Good morning Fefonz :)
Fefonz Quan: Hi Gaya:)
Fefonz Quan: hi medium
Mediumflow Difference: Hi Fefonz.
Gaya Ethaniel: How are you today Fefonz?
Fefonz Quan: hope to be sleepy, it's the middle of the night here...
Gaya Ethaniel: Apparently I am good at making people to feel sleepy [whether a compliment or no I'm not sure].
Fefonz Quan: sounds like a compliment to me :)
Mediumflow Difference: :)
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. Thanks. If possible, I try to take all comments as compliments.
Gaya Ethaniel: Make things simpler that way.
Fefonz Quan: sure does.


---

Gaya Ethaniel: Have I mentioned a possible stalker I have?
Gaya Ethaniel: Thanks to him, I'm learning to file an abuse report.
Fefonz Quan: no, in Sl or Rl?
Gaya Ethaniel: SL but it's affecting me in both SL/RL.
Gaya Ethaniel: So I decided to do something about it.
Fefonz Quan: so you file in rl i guess :)
Gaya Ethaniel: I will file a report in SL to LL first then I'm not sure what happens. They will look into it I guess.
Fefonz Quan: i see. how can one stalk in SL?
Gaya Ethaniel: There are various ways...
Gaya Ethaniel: As with any social networking tools, one can hide one's online status as much as possible but there are other ways around it.
Fefonz Quan: i would resume teleporting makes it hard to follow someimtes
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes, it is just making me feel scared. There isn't much this person can do but...
Fefonz Quan just wonders what does 'stalking ' means in SL, but not sure it is a proper topic here
Gaya Ethaniel: It's affecting my trust in people I guess... and my interaction with all I know in SL.
Gaya Ethaniel: How do you trust someone in SL Fefonz? Is it any different to you with people in RL?
Fefonz Quan: well, i am not traveling around here so much,
Fefonz Quan: and PaB/Kira has quite limited options i guess for ineractions
Gaya Ethaniel nods...

---

Mediumflow Difference: May I enter your discussion? As being fairly a newbie round here - it seems to me that indeed the same ways of being polite and approaching tenderly apply to here as in RL.
Fefonz Quan: yes, but trust has something more
Fefonz Quan: if i can't be hurt, trust has less meaning
Mediumflow Difference: Some tend to forget that. Or their need to let their desires run wild a bit sometimes overruns all this.
Mediumflow Difference: Doesn't trust evolve out of a exchange of personal things we give each other?
Gaya Ethaniel ponders.
Mediumflow Difference: Belongings. Stories. Beliefs.
Fefonz Quan: like, here Gaya, trying to answer your questions, i trust people according to the way they talk, but mostly there is just wha i say here that is "vulnerable'
Gaya Ethaniel nods.
Fefonz Quan: and that is not much, giving that i know it is recorded and put on a public site anyway
Mediumflow Difference: :)
Gaya Ethaniel: It is so easy to lie/act up in SL... I've seen those people and that has lowered my trust level in SL quite considerably.
Fefonz Quan: also, i guess that people that i see frequently i trust a little more
Fefonz Quan: is act up a negative thing?
Gaya Ethaniel: Not a negative thing but some present that as their RL life.
Gaya Ethaniel: But overall, I think this is a good experience for me... learn to become more cautious in general.
Gaya Ethaniel: Think my view on people/world had been rather idealised.
Gaya Ethaniel: Guess I'm finding a middle way on that.
Fefonz Quan: yes, middle way is a good way to go
Gaya Ethaniel nods.
Mediumflow Difference: For me this is also fairly important. To find a floating, middle stream -
Mediumflow Difference: between the desires and the calmness.
Fefonz Quan: i tend to trust people, but that trust gains validity when building slowly
Mediumflow Difference: right. the rush can destroy sometimes.
Mediumflow Difference: one needs to acquire trust. by time.
Gaya Ethaniel: The difficulty for me is that trust is somewhat fragile.
Fefonz Quan: yes, sometimes it is broken
Mediumflow Difference: but the possibility of being broken shoes its value.
Mediumflow Difference: shows ;)
Gaya Ethaniel: And when that happens, it can affect trust in people generally as in my case with this 'stalker'.
Fefonz Quan: and the worst maybe is that it tens to close your heart when that happens
Fefonz Quan: tends*
Gaya Ethaniel nods... yes Medium... that is true.

---

Mediumflow Difference: the stalker is bothering you still?
Gaya Ethaniel: He seems to be tracking what I'm up to otherwise no direct harassment.
Fefonz Quan: can't you just mute someone here so he has no access to you?
Mediumflow Difference: Hm.
Gaya Ethaniel: He's muted but I want to find out who else is his alts.
Gaya Ethaniel: He seems to have many...
Fefonz Quan: alts?
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes you can have different accounts.
Fefonz Quan: like other avatars?
Fefonz Quan: yes, got it
Mediumflow Difference: I hear many have many avatars.
Gaya Ethaniel nods. Most of us do including myself.
Mediumflow Difference: On the one hand this gives you the freedom of trying out diverse personae and variations of yourself.
Fefonz Quan: just me alone with no multiple personality to talk to :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes that is what most of people do with alts I believe Medium.
Mediumflow Difference: On the other hand: it weakens the possible stability to develop with one persona dn all her or his volatile trains of thoughts and emotions.
Fefonz Quan: "with more freedom comes more responsibility" (or more risk)
Gaya Ethaniel nods...
Mediumflow Difference: I find it more challenging to come to terms with the inner contradictions - in 1 person. Cause such is life.
Mediumflow Difference: our inner contradictions make us who we are.
Mediumflow Difference: (bold stance, I know)
Gaya Ethaniel: How so Medium? Would you explain a bit more?
Mediumflow Difference: Well:
Mediumflow Difference: To me it seems the urge to show you to others as perfect consistent, logical and clear -
Mediumflow Difference: is a kind of narcissist urge.
Mediumflow Difference: To appear nice and round and easy to access.
Fefonz Quan: i will go to sleep soon, though it is an intriguing issue
Mediumflow Difference: But being in doubt and in search for something and unclear is most of the time the state in which we're in.
Fefonz Quan: hope it won't shake your inner balance and peace, Gaya
Mediumflow Difference: And that is not unsettling.
Gaya Ethaniel: Hope you have good rest Fefonz. Thanks for coming.
Mediumflow Difference: It is simply the fact.
Gaya Ethaniel: Thank you :)
Mediumflow Difference: Thank you Fefonz. Sleep well.
Fefonz Quan: good night, Gaya, Medium :)
Mediumflow Difference: And may you have strengthening dreams.
Fefonz Quan: _/!\_
Gaya Ethaniel reads Medium's comments.
Gaya Ethaniel: Being in doubt and in search makes one feels vunerable to some extent.
Gaya Ethaniel: Especially around people...
Mediumflow Difference: Right.
Mediumflow Difference: I try and tried to develop a way of being strong
Mediumflow Difference: in showing and playing with my opinions and thoughts in search.
Mediumflow Difference: Though obviously: It don't always work.
Mediumflow Difference: Often you're lost.
Mediumflow Difference: But:
Mediumflow Difference: Like in other trainings - you gain virtuosity over time.
Mediumflow Difference: By practicing.
Gaya Ethaniel nods.
Mediumflow Difference: :)

---

Gaya Ethaniel: Think I'm climbing out of whatever it is until next time.
Gaya Ethaniel: Things are becoming clearer again.
Mediumflow Difference: What do you mean by that?
Mediumflow Difference: 'climbing out of whatever it is'?
Gaya Ethaniel: I have been in doubt and in search as you say intensely over last month.
Gaya Ethaniel: Felt lost...
Gaya Ethaniel: It's becoming clearer again.
Mediumflow Difference: Okay. That is long.
Mediumflow Difference: Per aspera ad astra - as they say.
Gaya Ethaniel: A month is not that long...
Gaya Ethaniel: I'm glad it's coming to an end for the time being.
Mediumflow Difference: :)
Mediumflow Difference: Glad to hear that.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. Thank you.
Gaya Ethaniel: So how did you find us?
Mediumflow Difference: Via searching for meditation places.
Gaya Ethaniel: ah...
Mediumflow Difference: And yesterday the very kind Wol Euler sat here;
Mediumflow Difference: as noone was here - and pointed me to your hours.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. Yes my SL mum, she's nice.
Mediumflow Difference: And I enjoyed it.
Mediumflow Difference: Your SL-mum? :) I like that.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. Glad to hear it.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles.
Mediumflow Difference: She adopted you in a way?
Gaya Ethaniel giggles. I forced her to adopt me.
Gaya Ethaniel: So to speak.
Mediumflow Difference: Okay.
Mediumflow Difference: ;)
Gaya Ethaniel: I couldn't make Moon's session yesterday... shame.
Gaya Ethaniel: Glad you had a good first session with us.
Mediumflow Difference: I read in your preferred places
Mediumflow Difference: the name of Zen Retreat?
Mediumflow Difference: You would recommend it?
Gaya Ethaniel: We used to have our meeting place there, a smaller pavilion, until we moved here.
Mediumflow Difference: Ah.
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes they have zazen each day. If you join the group, you will receive notices for that.
Mediumflow Difference: ty will try that.
Mediumflow Difference: And the Dresden Gallery?
Gaya Ethaniel: It's led by a lay Zen monk and he's extremely knowledgeable and friendly.
Mediumflow Difference: You go there frequently?
Gaya Ethaniel: It's nice to see paintings yes so sometimes I go there.
Mediumflow Difference: I know the place in Dresden itself.
Mediumflow Difference: And I am also in search for nice art places here.
Gaya Ethaniel: There are many art groups in SL. You could search by keywords...
Mediumflow Difference: Ah, yes. You're right.
Gaya Ethaniel: I tend to discover by joining groups and meet people in SL.
Mediumflow Difference: Okay.
Gaya Ethaniel: But not sure what would work for you :)
Mediumflow Difference: I am still in the stage of wandering around...
Gaya Ethaniel: I can give you a blog link?
Mediumflow Difference: I would be thankful!
Gaya Ethaniel: http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/
Gaya Ethaniel: I read this often.
Mediumflow Difference: ty Gaya!
Gaya Ethaniel: Pleasure.
Mediumflow Difference: :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Thank you.
Mediumflow Difference: A nice morning conversation we had.
Gaya Ethaniel: I need to head back to RL now. It's been nice talking to you Medium. I hope you have a good day.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles.
Mediumflow Difference: I liked it.
Mediumflow Difference: Yes, RL's calling for me.
Mediumflow Difference: Maybe 2morrow same time...
Gaya Ethaniel smiles and waves.
Mediumflow Difference: Bye Gaya!