Self Remembering

The theme for today is Self Remembering.

Every experience has an inside and an outside,
a close, self-like aspect and a distant, object-like aspect.

The idea of "self remembering" is to re-collect the self,
the one who is having these experiences.
To become present to oneself
makes the world real, too, and vice versa.

I am closer to myself than anything
and yet this is one of the hardest things to "remember".

Why is this?
Partly this has to do with what I allow in,
what I assume is important.

A quote from  "A Cherokee Book of Days"
reflects that we may miss the value and significance
of thoughts and experiences that don't match
paradoxically,
what we think things have to be
to have value and be significant:

A softpedaling thought comes to mind and we acknowledge it only briefly, but
it comes back again and again, until we stop to think about it.
It pays to listen.

Some of the best of life comes on soft shoes and barely brushes us. If we are
alert, we may savor it for a lifetime. If we are crusty and hard to deal
with, a splendid idea may go right by us and light on someone more sensitive.

We live within a cultural value system,
a philosophy or ideology I (we all) live without realizing it.

The human brain and its native abilities have not changed much
but the cultural "operating system" that determines how we use it
has changed over time.

Consider two brief sketches of the notion of "memory"
and what they have to offer.

The classic version, which is more "internal":

Memory is the treasure house of ideas,
the guardian of what we really value
and would like to converse about.

The modern version, which is more "external":

Memory is composed of "facts" about objects,
whose purpose is a long chain of indirection:
to support logic
to structure "knowledge"
to control behavior
to manipulate matter.

We're all good at the second type of memory
and the objective, abstract thinking that goes with it: it's useful and powerful
but the "experiencer" has disappeared from awareness.

So let's investigate the first type of memory.

We can ask questions
and answer them - to ourselves -
with specific "what" or "how" observations
rather than abstract "why" type speculations.

And speak them in the form of "I" statements
from personal "this is me/here/now" experience.

This activity is not "self centered"...
it's fascinating, as well as useful
to hear about these experiences
and the self-recognizing is an essential support
for responsiveness and interrelatedness.

What idea came softly to me
that I ignored or let escape?
And is there one that keeps coming back?

Perhaps one of these questions
will open a door.

What draws my passion, interest, creativity, energy
lately?

What unmet needs am I suffering?

What's an article of faith for me?
A recurrent fantasy (positive or negative)?

Is there a habit:
...that I want to get rid of
...that I want to keep doing
...that I want to develop or cultivate?

Is there a burden I've been carrying,
something I feel stuck with?

This is the season for ... (what?)
This is NOT the season for (what?)
Is there somethng I know is important
but keep procrastinating
that is not getting the attention I know it deserves?

Is there something that I want to FORGET?

The world is infinite; awareness comprehends a small part of it.
Of that, attention reaches towards even less.
Language is a grand gesture.

I find I'm aware of the mountain
and can pay attention to the sunny slope
and speak of a pebble.

The smallest pebble
has the dignity of the mountain.

Even if I cannot speak of them,
do I have confidence or faith
that these things are worth
holding in my awareness, regard, and memory?

Or willing to entertain them, and find out?