Speaking, Part 1

The theme for today is Speaking

One could say the "other side" of it is Listening.
But the whole story is bigger than these two terms imagine.

What happens when we speak
is both a taken-for-granted commonplace
and a deep mystery.

Sages and scientists,
poets and philosophers
therapists and thespians
have studied, contemplated, and practiced
seeking extraordinary insight
into this most common and necessary activity:
it's the water we swim in,
a nourishing and supporting
revealing and concealing thing
about being human.

But today let's set that aside
and try to catch a fish
that swims within us and around us
in daily life.

Let's see if we can notice what happens,
what's going on

what we expect,
attempt,
try for, yearn for
in our own commonplace speaking.

To bring some focus
we can consider a conversation
that engaged our curiosity and imagination
in a recent meeting.

Here's part of that conversation
with the names removed:

Something that D. said resonated with me
about leaving things behind
and it occurred to me that I was going to recite a litany of my problems :-)
but really it's better to leave them behind and move on, isn't it?

 ;) / nods / but acknowledge them

it's like telling other people are problems means we are seeking support
in the view that it just shouldn't be like that?
There is a resistance to what is
instead of allowing whatever happens to happen and just do our best with it
but it's nice to share problems isn't it?
And what would we say if we couldn't do that?

Yikes! /  :) / it's important / sympathy feels good

Yes I am torn between the idea of it being good to share problems
but on the other hand it kind of keeps going over them
and magnifying them in the telling
in a way we add suffering to what are just the neutral events of life

nods / will it go away if we ignore it?

of which some are pleasant and some unpleasant
if you want to qualify them at all but life will just go on like that
it's not a matter of ignoring it –
we do our best to work with problems
but it's best to do that and then forget them isn't it?

How does this engage you
or draw your interest?

Let's me / you / we take the opportunity to notice
our relationship to it
or our place in it.

One thing I've noticed
is that I can talk to myself "in my head" all day
but when I speak to others
something different happens
sometimes in a way that changes things
that makes an important difference
(they seem "lighter" or more fluid)

or sometimes in a way I don't like
and it may be unpredictable
or unexpected.

Before we speak there are thoughts
Some appear like fish swimming under the surface
Let's do some fishing:

a "contemplative brainstorm" about this.
letting thoughts rise to the surface
and get through the easy layer
of what we already know
what's well-formulated
or what we have already worked out what to say:
like fishing, we stand a bit still
not to scare away the fish.

What fish are there,  and tempted
in the pool of this theme
and this group?

(discussion)

The poet William Stafford was a man of language, as a poet
and also always interested in direct experience
and its relationship to knowing and language.
Here's a part of one of his poems:

For People with Problems about How to Believe
by William Stafford

Sometimes you are walking: you begin
to know — even those things out of sight or hearing,
stones in the ground, flocks of birds
beyond the horizon. A little bit of snow
forms in the sky: you feel it furring
out there, ready; then it comes down.

A quality of attention has been given to you:
when you turn your head the whole world
leans forward. It waits there thirsting
after its names, and you speak it all out as it
comes to you; you go forward into forest leaves
holding out your hands, trusting all encounters,
telling every mile, "Take me home."