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No headers During the PaB `urban retreat' in San Francisco, April 2010,
one of the topics that came up was the question of how exactly
we "play as Being"; what is it that we do in RL, when we take
our frequent short breaks, and what is it that we do while we
are logged into SL and meet each other there?
For me, the retreat was a kind of wake-up call. Even though
I have been involved deeply into the whole notion of playing
as Being, to my own surprise I came to see the enormity of the
whole notion, as if for the first time. Isn't it amazing how we
sometimes can stop to watch a flower, or a close friend, or even
an idea, in what feels like a completely fresh way?
I felt more deeply how utterly radical it is to set aside the game
of playing myself. Our whole society is geared toward fitting into
the roles that we are supposed to play, and each moment we are part
of a web of expectations. Somehow it hit me how much I still see
myself as defined through those expectations, and how much more I
can let go of all that.
And the paradox is: the more I refused to let myself be defined
by that web of expectations, the more I could actually play along
better and be a better friend for my friends, colleague for my
colleagues, family member for my family. Playing as Being playing
me in my current role felt so much more relaxed and open than just
me playing me with all my little anxieties and concerns.
This kind of increased openness and relaxation has carried on into
the PaB sessions that I have attended this last week, following the
retreat. More than before, I'm trying to avoid any multitasking,
and just be there, in the pavilion, with my PaB friends. Even if
no one writes anything for a few minutes, I don't go into my email
or other little chores, no matter how urgent they may seem. I may
watch my breath and my posture, or I may look up and enjoy the feel
of the room in which I'm sitting, sensing the integration of my RL
presence in front of the keyboard while also being present in SL.
I've always tried to be present that way, especially when PaB was
still this brand new exploration, two years ago, but I realize how
easy it is to fall into a pattern, and to let that freshness slip.
The RL retreat has been a very welcome reminder to me to return to
a beginner's mind, a kind of PaB newbie mind.