C. Genesis

At the suggestion of Genesis Zhangsun, we met at the teahouse, an appropriate place to discuss the beginnings of Play as Being.

I started by asking Gen how she met Pema and got into PaB

genesis Zhangsun: coffee shop in Berkeley
genesis Zhangsun: he was sitting with Steven Tainer (Stim Morane) talking about Second Life
genesis Zhangsun: I got curious
genesis Zhangsun: I was working for a law firm doing some pretty boring trust case and I think I was looking for a distraction
Adams Rubble: when was that?
genesis Zhangsun: that was 4/8/2008
genesis Zhangsun: Buddha's bday
Adams Rubble: Oh wow,  after it started. hehe
genesis Zhangsun: one week after it started
Adams Rubble: That's quite a connection
Adams Rubble: quite portentous
Adams Rubble: What were your first impressions when you came into PaB?
genesis Zhangsun: sure
genesis Zhangsun: well I think the whole thing was very mysterious to me
genesis Zhangsun: I immediately had some very powerful experiences with explorations
genesis Zhangsun: and being around Pema in real life and talking
genesis Zhangsun: so when I joined PaB it was an extension of that
Adams Rubble: So you were meeting Pema in RL while you were starting PaB?
genesis Zhangsun: well not exactly
genesis Zhangsun: I think I was meeting him and talking about PaB before I actually joined in
genesis Zhangsun: I joined in I believe it was the third week of april or so
genesis Zhangsun: so a couple of weeks of talking about PaB topics then joining in
Adams Rubble: That is interesting. I wonder if your experience is unique ;)
genesis Zhangsun: :)
genesis Zhangsun: kind of like Rl training before the actual thing
genesis Zhangsun: I did feel pretty well prepared to dive in at that stage
Adams Rubble: It seemed that many of the orignal guardians did not actually meet until the first guardian meeting
genesis Zhangsun: no and still have yet to meet some like Solobill
Adams Rubble looks amazed
Adams Rubble: wow
genesis Zhangsun: yup never met Solobill
genesis Zhangsun: looking forward to the day
Adams Rubble: Well you have something to look forward to. yes hehe

I asked Gen whether she was surprised when the guardian idea was proposed

genesis Zhangsun: no
genesis Zhangsun: were you?
Adams Rubble: I wasn't there yet
genesis Zhangsun: ah okay
Adams Rubble: I came in early June
Adams Rubble: When I came you originals seemed likes gods and goddess :)
genesis Zhangsun: :)
genesis Zhangsun: that is hilarious
Adams Rubble: It felt a bit awed by everything :)
genesis Zhangsun: I can tell you what I think was the inspiration behind the Guardian name
genesis Zhangsun: is that what you are asking?
Adams Rubble: That would be great
genesis Zhangsun: Well the person who made the introduction to Pema possible was a girl who worked at the Cafe, who is a friend of mine
genesis Zhangsun: in RL
genesis Zhangsun: she is an artist
genesis Zhangsun: before Pema left Berkeley
genesis Zhangsun: I asked her
genesis Zhangsun: to draw something for Pema as a gift
genesis Zhangsun: that drawing was of a raven
genesis Zhangsun: she called it "Guardian of the Void"
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: this was around the same time Guardian emerged
Adams Rubble: That is a nice addition to the story, thanks
genesis Zhangsun: sure

I then ask about how PaB has changed other than in size and Gen explains too how she has changed

genesis Zhangsun: for me the way I relate to it has changed a lot
genesis Zhangsun: objectively hard to say
genesis Zhangsun: we are still sitting around talking about the same/similar topics
genesis Zhangsun: just from different angles as we did in the beginning
Adams Rubble: would you care to say more about you relating to it?
genesis Zhangsun: sure...in the beginning there was a freshness to everything
genesis Zhangsun: it was as I said earlier mysterious and mystical
genesis Zhangsun: the experience of becoming a part of PaB
genesis Zhangsun: I knew that something had happened to me
genesis Zhangsun: the way I saw the world had dramatically changed
genesis Zhangsun: and I was seeking others who could help me understand what had happened
genesis Zhangsun: it was thrilling
genesis Zhangsun: I felt like I had fallen down the rabbit hole
genesis Zhangsun: Alice in Wonderland
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: there was almost a high about the whole thing
genesis Zhangsun: which had to end for me
genesis Zhangsun: and I knew it the whole time I was riding it
genesis Zhangsun: there were various points through the year where the feeling of bliss returned
genesis Zhangsun: but never like in the beginning
genesis Zhangsun: I sort of yearned for that bliss
genesis Zhangsun: spent a long time grasping for it
genesis Zhangsun: until I realized I could never return to it by grasping
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: and so slowly I learned how to let go
genesis Zhangsun: and then something more real started to emerge
genesis Zhangsun: nothing as exciting but closer to what was really going on
genesis Zhangsun: who I really am
genesis Zhangsun: which had nothing to do with that bliss
genesis Zhangsun: or everything to do with it :)
Adams Rubble: This is wonderful. It will be so helpful to someone feeling the same thing
Adams Rubble: and I am experiencing something similar too
genesis Zhangsun: yes, there are a lot of distractions along the path
genesis Zhangsun: some of them are too tempting to turn away from
genesis Zhangsun: though you may identify them as distractions right away
genesis Zhangsun: so you spend time with those side trips and thats part of it
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: to make you remember where the real path lies
Adams Rubble: You answered much of it already, but I wonder you would want to talk about any other ways PaB affected your life?
genesis Zhangsun: I just appreciate my life more...the most mundane aspects of it

Being

Adams Rubble: Would you like to say anything about your understanding of Being over the year?
genesis Zhangsun: Sure
genesis Zhangsun: In the beginning I think Being to me was something quite full of life, alive almost like "god" in everything
genesis Zhangsun: everything sort of glowed with Being
genesis Zhangsun: the way I connected it was on a sort of energy level I could feel its presence energetically like an entity when I was really still
genesis Zhangsun: later this refined a bit
genesis Zhangsun: and I began to see a more empty aspect to it
genesis Zhangsun: and I went almost too hard of a swing the other way and felt the impermanence in everthing
genesis Zhangsun: which made me feel more distant/cool
genesis Zhangsun: calm
genesis Zhangsun: less "alive"
genesis Zhangsun: and "overflowing" as in the beginning
genesis Zhangsun: then somehow I began to see this approach as "too" empty
genesis Zhangsun: and a balance emerged
genesis Zhangsun: but it is still evolving this balance
genesis Zhangsun: probably always will
genesis Zhangsun: I am cultivating more patience though to be okay with that
Adams Rubble: Thank you, your experience is interesting to me :)

Zeroith Time. I ask Gen whether that concept too has changed for her

genesis Zhangsun: this remains still quite mysterious to me...I had one of my strongest experiences in PaB related to this and it probably changed the course of my entire life and yet it alludes me still
genesis Zhangsun: I am definitely more aware of its presence
genesis Zhangsun: since I had my most signficant experience with it
genesis Zhangsun: and I think that is making small differences in my life
genesis Zhangsun: the signficiant experience I am referring to is walking out on the Bar
Adams Rubble: I hadn't realized it was connected to zeroith time
genesis Zhangsun: yes the day before I walked out
genesis Zhangsun: I was again with Pema in RL
genesis Zhangsun: I had an experiences of "time"
genesis Zhangsun: somehow I just "got" that it wasn't real in the way I thought it was before
genesis Zhangsun: my whole presence with my life changed in that moment
genesis Zhangsun: and when I walked into the Bar
genesis Zhangsun: I knew I wasn't supposed to be there
genesis Zhangsun: that I was traveling a stream of time which didn't belong to me
Adams Rubble: That is a powerful experience. Thank you for sharing
Adams Rubble: Last question...most important of all...
Adams Rubble: What have I not asked that i should have asked?
genesis Zhangsun: that is a wise question Adams
genesis Zhangsun: :)
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: I think you asked great questions
Adams Rubble: Thank you :)
genesis Zhangsun: I might ask myself
genesis Zhangsun: why I am still here
genesis Zhangsun: why do I think this matters?
Adams Rubble: great question..most important of all :)
Adams Rubble listens
genesis Zhangsun: I could say that it is because I know now that nothing matters and everything matters
genesis Zhangsun: that I am here for some reason doing this so I know I can do it well
genesis Zhangsun: with care not knowing how it will make any difference
genesis Zhangsun: but that it does
genesis Zhangsun: and most importantly not caring whether it will all the while acting those I do
genesis Zhangsun: *as though I do
genesis Zhangsun: not acting like faking
genesis Zhangsun: acting as in taking action attentively but with humor
genesis Zhangsun: knowing that starting at the end is possible
genesis Zhangsun: and no beings are enlightened
genesis Zhangsun: that this is play and I am part of that play
genesis Zhangsun: one avatar on the world's stage :)
Adams Rubble: :)

The interview ended here but then we kept talking...

Adams Rubble: Thank you very much. This is going to be a helpful addition to the Chronicles
genesis Zhangsun: thank you Adams for undertaking this project
genesis Zhangsun: I really appreciate that you are doing this
Adams Rubble: thank you
genesis Zhangsun: it will be nice to look back upon :)
genesis Zhangsun: for myself
Adams Rubble: Pema is helping us to test our skills--to learn to fly where we have never flown before :)
genesis Zhangsun: yes :)
genesis Zhangsun: like a raven into the void :)
Adams Rubble: It is interesting that we have such different perspectives on things and at the same time so similar
Adams Rubble: yes, hehe
Adams Rubble: I hadn't caught the meaning
genesis Zhangsun: ravens are mythically messenger birds
genesis Zhangsun: they bring news from the "other side"
Adams Rubble: ah
Adams Rubble: so this one is going the other way?
genesis Zhangsun: no this one is not going in either direction, it protect the void
genesis Zhangsun: the place beyond form
genesis Zhangsun: the place of potentialities
genesis Zhangsun: we are those protectors
genesis Zhangsun: the Guardians
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: making sure no one form starts to dominate
genesis Zhangsun: whether as an idea, as a person,
genesis Zhangsun: to preserve the fertile void
genesis Zhangsun: :)
Adams Rubble: :)
genesis Zhangsun: I am getting kind of spooky
Adams Rubble: hehe, I was just going to ask to leave this in
Adams Rubble: It is very poetical :)
genesis Zhangsun: ty :)
genesis Zhangsun: kind of makes sense though no?
Adams Rubble: yes
Adams Rubble: food for thought
genesis Zhangsun: that the moment someone traps it, names it, puts it into form
genesis Zhangsun: and calls it the "answer"
genesis Zhangsun: it is wrong
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: so the "answer" is formless
genesis Zhangsun: and we must preserve that
genesis Zhangsun: and protect one another from forgetting that and destroying it
Adams Rubble nods
genesis Zhangsun: and encouraging one another to keep exploring the places where no light shines in
Adams Rubble: yes, the hardest of all
genesis Zhangsun: hard and marvelous, anything less is a lie