08. Play as Being

Two countries at war.  Let's call them A and B.  Hatred having built up between them, perhaps for a long time, inhabitants of A identify with country A and are convinced that country B is despicable, and similarly the other way around.  How many times has this scenario played out, on larger and smaller scales? Here A and B could be countries, or races, or religions or other forms of ideology.

In each case the A people are busy `playing as A adherents' and the B people are busy `playing as B adherents' without realizing that they have an alternative.  They could both be `playing as human beings' without identifying exclusively with their A-ness or B-ness.  They don't have to ignore or deny their respective country, creed, or race.  That's not the point.  But they have the freedom to step back and realize that the other side is equally human, and equally has its own aspirations and appreciation of life.

In short, anybody playing a one-sided role in any conflict has the freedom, in principle, to rise beyond that role, by adding other roles.  While still playing the role of one side, we can also play a unified role that embraces both sides.  While still appreciating the virtues of our country, ideology, race, or gender, in addition we can appreciate the virtues of other sides, and the virtues that various sides have in common.

8.1. What we Have

Whatever we think we are, when we look carefully, it is something we have.  "I am a believer in A!"  This means: I have a belief in A.  "I am white!"  This means: I have a racial trait, called white.  "I am male!"  In fact: I have a gender, male.  "I am a citizen of country A!"  In other words, I have citizenship in country A.  What is going on here?

In any play, the central idea is to do as if you really are what you pretend to be.  You identify with your role.  Even though the role is something you have, to play a good game you have to immerse yourself in it, and for the time being you feel you are actually embodying that role.  So this shift from having to being is quite natural.  The problem only occurs when you get stuck in it.  Roles are like clothes.  They can be fun and convenient to wear, but you don't necessarily want to go to bed while still wearing your boots and raincoat.  If you wear anything at all, it is probably something different from what you wear during the day.

If we forget this temporarily, and find ourselves in bed wearing our raincoat, we have two choices.  If we see directly that there is no need to wear anything, we can just step out of all of our clothes.  But if that is too radical, we can at least take an intermediate step.  We can notice that a raincoat is just one of many possible forms of clothes, and that a pajama is another choice, and quite likely more comfortable to wear in bed.  Either way, we have found a way out of our raincoat.

In the case of two countries at war, the more radical way to escape the cycle of hatred is to simply drop any obsession with taking one side over the other.  But if that is too hard to do, we can take an intermediate step by identifying both sides as being human.  Not yet ready to give up wearing clothes, we can at least see the universal value of different garments.  We may be stuck for a while longer with our identification with being human, risking cruelty against animals, but at least we have lessened the original problem of being A and anti-B, or B and anti-A.  The next step is then to question the need to wear the exclusive garment of humanity all the time.

8.2. What we Are

The most radical way to play is to rise above any roles whatsoever.  Whenever we become aware of playing a certain role, we can look for additional ways of playing wider roles.  Instead of only `playing taking side A' we can `play as being human'.  Again, we don't have to burn our passport, we can stay loyal citizens of country A, if we like.  But in addition, we can become more aware of our wider identity of being human.

And we don't have to stop there.  After recognizing the needless harm that humans of type A and B tend to inflict on each other, we can widen our view.  Seeing how humans can treat animals in very cruel ways, we can shift our sense of identity to wider and wider circles.  Rather than just seeing myself as a human being, I have the choice to play as mammal, to play as vertebrate, to play as animal, to play as living being.

Seeing myself as a living being, not different in principle from other living beings around me, in a network of interdependence, gives a whole different outlook on the world, and my role in it.  But why stop there?  Why not identify with the shared roles that everything in nature plays?  Living beings interact with sunshine, rain, mountains and rivers, with all that is present in nature.  Worms plow the soil, rain sustains the worms, it is all part of an intimate ecological network.

In other words, what we really are is more than our identification with being a living being.  I can say "I am male, I am human, I am a living being"; but really, in all three cases these are still what I have, not what I am.  I have a gender, I have a species designation, and I have a role in the ecology of our planet called `living being' by having a body with living cells, etc.  These are all examples of `having', not 'being', ultimately.

Let us look at this distinction carefully.  When I say I have a nationality, or a gender, or a species classification, that doesn't mean that I can easily change it.  To change citizenship is an elaborate procedure, even if I qualify for it.  It can take many years for some, and may not even be allowed for others.  And to change gender, while possible now surgically to some extent, is also a rather drastic step.  Finally, becoming a member of a different species so far is only possible in virtual reality, not in our normal world.

But it is not necessary to switch gender, or nationality, or species membership, in order to have empathy and deep appreciation for those of another gender, nationality, or species.  We all know people who seem solidly stuck in their gender role, or national fervor; and we also know people who wear those identities much more lightly, more like clothes than like skin.

8.3. What we Play

We spend our whole life playing roles.  Even before we are born, we play the role of fetus.  As soon as we are born, we play the role of a child, being fed by our mother, and we gradually acquire the ability to play all kinds of other roles, of siblings, of play mates, of students in school, and so on.

Perhaps the biggest role we learn to play, relatively soon after we are born, is to identify with our own body, in contrast to other bodies and objects around us.  We learn to be a subject, in a world of objects and other subjects.  We learn to treat all those other objects and subjects as different from us in a fundamental way.

We often fail woefully in our `play as subject'.  Whenever we really get engrossed in a fun activity, we tend to forget to implement all those feelings of separation and otherness.  We can fall into a landscape while walking or just watching scenery.  We can fall into an activity, playing sports or playing music or whatever.  But as soon as such an activity ends, we tend to reestablish our sense of separation, calling that `coming back to normal'.

Alas, our `normal' game is one of separation.  It is a game of subject-object separation: I am me, the subject, and the rest of the whole wide world is not-me, a collection of objects standing apart from me as subject, even though some of those objects play their own subject-roles for themselves.

However, we are not condemned to be stuck in what our society considers to be `normal'.  While remaining law abiding citizens, if we so choose, and while maintaining our natural sense of dignity and responsibility, we don't have to play as being isolated subjects.  We can play far more integrated games.  And ultimately, we can play as what we really Are: we can play as Being.

To play as Being means to play by viewing ourselves in a way that transcends all distinctions, all dualities.  This may sound totally abstract and useless, when presented as an idea. And as long as it remains an idea, it is indeed impotent.  We really have to go slow here in order to be thoroughly acquainted, first, with the idea, and then with the practice of playing as Being.

I hope that the more theoretical exposition above has given at least some sense of the potential of the idea itself of playing as Being.  In one sentence: all the conflicts we witness around us, as well as in ourselves, are consequences of NOT playing as Being, but rather playing on this side in opposition to that side.

Let us now try to cash in that sentence.

8.4. Entering the Play

When we wake up in the morning, the first thing we do is to fall into our roles.  Long before we put on our clothes, we put on our roles.  It can be very specific, like remembering in a flash how nasty somebody treated you the day before, thus falling into the role of resenting someone.  Or more happily, the face of a beloved one may float up in your imagination, while you fall into the role of loving someone.  But apart from those specifics, and even much more quickly, we identify with having a body, and with being an isolated human subject in a world of objects, with the whole shebang.

Let us start right there.  As soon as we wake up, let us lay still, physically and mentally.  Without resisting the process of taking on our roles, we can also try not to play along more than necessary.  We can take a neutral stance, more as an dispassionate observer, watching ourselves getting wrapped up in all of our roles, as a mummy that is prepared for burial.  Perhaps this image is a bit shocking, but really, if we get strapped into our roles without realizing what is going on, we live our life as a kind of `walking dead', until we finally die physically.  Not a pretty way to live, or die.

If we make it a habit to practice observing ourselves immediately after waking up, over time we may begin to notice some openings, brief moments of not-yet-tied-to-roles.  And the more we get familiar with those relatively role-free openings amidst the dark clouds of tight roles, the more we can recognize those at other times during the day.  We can learn to see how our role playing is not the kind of consistent ironclad activity that it seems.  In fact, all of our role playing is full of holes and that is exactly what makes it possible to begin to peel them off, or at least to begin to peel off our tight identifications with them.

Starting with the moment we wake up, we can simply rest and observe.  Better not try to do something, since any attempt at figuring out anything will immediately awaken the figuring-out role.  It's a jungle out there.  We live in a jungle of roles.  Better not to shout in the jungle, since we may not like what we attract with our shouting.  Let us just lay low, rest, relax, and watch what comes our way.

We can do this while going to sleep too.  Can you see how your roles are being dropped next to your bed, while dozing off?  This may be harder to see at the end of the day, when we are tired, compared to the waking up practice of seeing us gathering our roles.  If at all possible, it will help a great deal to spend at least eight hours in bed.  Even if you feel that you can function fine with only six or less hours of sleep, please try for at least a few days to stay in bed longer.

When allowing yourself more sleep, chances are that you will pass through the transition between waking and sleeping more slowly, in either direction.  Even better, when you stay in bed for eight hours or longer every night, for a while at least, you are likely to wake up in the middle of the night.  If that happens, try not to get up, but just stay still, perhaps lying on your back for a while, arms to your side, as relaxed as you can.  Breathe naturally and quietly and just watch how you will fall asleep again.

Quite likely, trying to fall asleep will wake you up more, as long as it involves a kind of effort.  But that's okay too.  Sooner or later you will get tired and fall asleep again.  And until that happens, you can just try to watch the roles you are playing.  Can you find some of them?  Can you see them loosening already?  Which role is being unbuttoned right now, for which roles are the sleeves being pulled up?  Then, when you drift in and out of sleep, can you see your roles washing over you like tide waters?

After gaining some familiarity with this exploration of the transition between waking and sleeping, you can extend the exploration to your day time as well, by creating little openings throughout the day.  We can try to add little breaks to our lives, a few times every hour, just a few seconds at a time.  During those tiny breaks we can mimic falling asleep and waking up again.  During each break we can let our roles fall asleep while we ourselves wake up to what we really are.  It only takes a few seconds at a time.