Table of contents
No headers From: 2008/06/18/three-small-<wbr/>children
Forword: This episode features Fael and Adams, when they were only
1-2 weeks young PaB members at that time. They exchanged their learning
of meditation and gave one example of how PaB had quickly brought
changes to their mindfulness and real life behaviors.
...
Adams Rubble: Since I am new to meditation it is very helpful to hear other people's experiences
Sky Szimmer: how long have you been meditating?
Adams Rubble: me? probably about a week
Fael Illyar: 2 weeks, maybe
Sky Szimmer: you seem to have a good grasp : )
Adams Rubble: but when I discovered breath meditation
Adams Rubble: I realized I have been doing it
Adams Rubble: for years and years whithout knowing what it was
Adams Rubble: so it has made me very comfortable, I could go for a long time doing that
Fael Illyar: I think I've been doing something similar to meditation for years too.
Fael Illyar: Although, not knowing it was close to meditation and not really able to do it on a whim or at will .
Sky Szimmer: well, then, you are not so "new"
Adams mentions a site with spoken material to help with meditation.
Adams Rubble: Last night I listened to this tape on the
dharmatalk.org site
Adams Rubble: in which the person coached through a long process
Adams Rubble: focusing first on the nose, chest and stomach
Adams Rubble: and then started slowly moving around the body
Adams Rubble: I described it on my log this morning
Adams Rubble: I think it would take about an hour to do the whole process
Sky Szimmer: i have found that it is good to learn different methods of meditation
Sky Szimmer: it becomes tools that we can lean on
Adams Rubble: yes I want to know about the others
...
Fael Illyar: To return the subject to negative (?) feelings again.
I've been easily annoyed by small children making a show in shops
trying to get their way in the past.
Fael Illyar: When I was
buying groceries about a week ago, there were 3 small children all
making noise non stop. Initially I was annoyed with it but eventually
it started changing to being amused with myself.
Sky Szimmer: yes. Fael. what changed?
Sky Szimmer: were you amused with yourself being annoyed or were you amused by the children
Fael Illyar: amused with myself being annoyed.
Sky Szimmer: oh. that seems to be a good thing
Adams Rubble: mindfulness!!!
Fael Illyar: with no intention of letting that annoyance show
Stargate Tone: yea
Stargate Tone: to laugh to oneself :)***
Sky Szimmer: what do you mean by not having intention of letting that annoyance show?
Fael Illyar: Well, I wasn't about to go to silence the children :P
Sky Szimmer: you mean, you didn't want to seem annoyed? or you didn't what that annoyance to be
Sky Szimmer: you can always ask them to quiet down some
Stargate Tone: well…in Finland…oh no
Stargate Tone: You can get police to Your neck for such
Fael Illyar: Yes, try to tell random mother that their child is being too noisy and they'll be mightily annoyed.
Adams Rubble: Well the situation can be a difficult one Fael
Fael Illyar: Well, I ended up not paying any attention after a while of being amused at myself.
Stargate Tone: yea
Adams Rubble: It is good there was a positive outcome :)
I (Fael) forgot to emphasize that I told this story because I
wanted to add another thing to the list of positive changes PaB (and
meditation) has achieved.
Adams Rubble: Sky was making an interesting distinction
Fael Illyar: interesting distinction?
Adams Rubble: Yes
Adams Rubble: let me look back….
Adams Rubble: yes, she was leading you to your motive
Adams Rubble: whether you were concerned about looking annoyed…
Adams Rubble: or being annoyed
Adams Rubble: the answer can be helpful to you
Adams Rubble: for the next time
Adams Rubble: or similar situation
Adams Rubble: mindfulness!!!
Fael Illyar: Yes, mindfulness does come into pretty much every situation :)
Adams Rubble: :)
Fael
Illyar: Well, one of the reasons I didn't want to do anything was that
the children were making that much noise pretty much because they
weren't getting what they wanted.
Adams Rubble: I think the crux of the situation is
Adams Rubble: that the children's behavior is the parent's responsibilty
Adams Rubble: for the most part
Adams Rubble: and that the example is more
Adams Rubble: that it is one in which we do not have complete control
Adams Rubble: except for our own reaction
Adams Rubble: and so we focus on our response
Fael
Illyar: Yes, I've been thinking along the lines of "You can't change
the world, but you can change yourself" for a few years now.
Adams Rubble: which is why I am here :)