2015.07.29 _ 7

Yesterday's emotional storm has left me with physical symptoms today and I'm stuck at home feeling rather ill. I'm forced to be still this morning giving time to think and I'm realizing that I have closed myself off over the past little while. I have been reacting in old ways not good ways I have not been taking my own advice that I so freely give out to others in a rather arrogant way. I have been hurtful to others in action and words I feel rather ashamed of myself for such behaviour.
I feel uncertain right now as to what to do.

I do want to say thank you to Bruce and everyone for your kindness yesterday it's very much appreciated edited 13:11, 29 Jul 2015

Cat's courageous offerings have motivated me to be more mindful of my own negative mental feedback loops. Who WANTS to go there? Not me!

Just this morning I found "Tiny Habits" -- a free, on-line, 5-day program directed by a Stanford University professor who says, "Over 32,000 people have reported that Tiny Habits worked for them. They say my method is surprisingly simple and fun..." "This method is a breakthrough because now you can succeed without relying on willpower or motivation."

Dr. BJ Fogg's "persuasive technology" project seems very similar to Wol's original idea that eventually became our "99-Days" practice . . . (a la Nova Scotia PaB retreat, 2011.)

Without further ado, here's the "Tiny Habits" website and registration page for next week: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tiny-habits-august-3-to-7-with-dr-bj-fogg-registration-17913171779 edited 16:43, 29 Jul 2015

Extra tuned into a friend going through serious difficulties, I've found myself spontaneously doing things she is doing. Perhaps it helps me to feel a little closer to her - I'm not sure.

In any event, I've been tidying up already tidy spaces using a trend of the moment, the "konmari" method, which is the work of a Japanese woman who is a ruthless minimalist. I think this is her way to help people reach deep spiritual/emotional work.

The core of herphilosophy is handling everything with great attention and care by asking questions like, "does this spark joy?"
And letting go, however, not just letting go but taking time to speak to the items, to sincerely thank them... to sometimes hold them in your arms and appreciate what they've offered... to take time to mend things before giving them away, that kind of thing.

This is a wonderful "charging" practice. It has always felt empowering to keep up a rather organized space. However, this is really different. It isn't much different in the effects, although she has some neat tricks, but in the quality of love and care. It feels sneaky... like an outward practical thing that reaches deep emotional places in a refreshing and joyful way. I think of it as karma work.

Maybe Bruce and I are on similar wavelengths today. :)

And @Cat - You've got this! edited 19:21, 29 Jul 2015

Another intense full alert day. Some suggestion that dropping resistance to that goes toward flow. But usually deep in the trenches of the waves.

Summer sun sparks joy.

Simply gorgeous flowers, Aph.
Thank you for sharing their beauty and joy with us. edited 22:54, 30 Jul 2015

thank you Bruce and Eliza. Those notions are truely inspiring.

in the meantime my continuity is almost breaking, my body responding in ways I know, but not in this severe manner. hartrates over 120 in rest completely exhausting my already exhausted body. Trying to keep my mental capacity sane, letting the emotional responses slide of me (though acknowledging them). Not an easy task but seems to work to some degree. Enjoying the mornings and the nights where my phisical responses seem to be less