2015.09.14 07:00 - Stunted and halted parts of self

The Guardian for this meeting was Eden Haiku. The comments are by Eden Haiku. Eliza and Bleu attended this Monday morning session. 

Monday morning blues

Antlers

Eden Haiku: Good morning Eliza :-)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Eden, wow you look great
Eliza Madrigal: burberry?
Eden Haiku: Thanks Eliza. It's been raining for days here...
Eden Haiku: yep!
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Eliza Madrigal: the rain is finally getting lighter here
Eden Haiku: Lots of storms but no hurricane at least?
Eliza Madrigal: yes, thankfully!
Eden Haiku: My favorite deer came yesterday, after days of absence...
Eden Haiku: I almost didn't recognize him
Eliza Madrigal: maybe hard for them to visit when it is raining?
Eden Haiku: His fur is getting much darker
Eliza Madrigal: oh I see
Eden Haiku: And his...horns, how do you call that for a deer?
Eliza Madrigal: antlers?
Eden Haiku: Yes, antlers, thanks,
Eden Haiku: Antlers aren't velvety anymore, they were kind of red...

New antlers

Eliza Madrigal: wonder what he will look like next year
Eden Haiku: is wondering if she's going to see him with his little ones next year hehe
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Eden Haiku: He already has a mate.

Bambi

Eden Haiku: I feel like in the movie Bambi
Eden Haiku: Which I saw for the first time like last week or so, on You Tube...
Eliza Madrigal: oh, I should watch that again... have a history with that film
Eden Haiku: do tell the story
Eliza Madrigal: saw it when I was little and was devastated...so I never let the kids watch
Eliza Madrigal: when oldest grew up she finally watched, then showed her little sister...
Eliza Madrigal: and they tease me terribly about it
Eliza Madrigal: I couldn't take away anything from the film when I was little except for Bambi's mom...
Eliza Madrigal: it just stuck in my mind in a terrible way
Eden Haiku: completely understands little sweeteheart Eliza...
Eliza Madrigal: aw :) thank you
Eliza Madrigal: so I think it is about time to watch again
Eliza Madrigal: don't you? :)
Eden Haiku: Yes. But I suspect you will cry again.
Eden Haiku: Healing tears of an old wound
Eliza Madrigal: Might be okay now, yes
Eden Haiku: I wanted to watch with my 4 year old grandniece but I hesitated then decided no. I knew about Bambi's mom dying from a book I read.
Eden Haiku: A book of short stories
Eliza Madrigal: four is a little young maybe
Eden Haiku: About movies seen
Eliza Madrigal: oh
Eden Haiku: The one untitled Bambi says only something like; ¨ I never recovered from Bambi's mother death¨.
Eden Haiku: It’s called "Les vues aninmées" by Michel Tremblay, only in French I'm afraid...
Eliza Madrigal: sigh :)
Eliza Madrigal: but then I have you to share with me so its okay
Eliza Madrigal: ^^
Eden Haiku: He's a Quebec writer. I wrote my Master degree thesis on his work.
Eliza Madrigal: ah
Eliza Madrigal: which part of his work? writing about films in particular?
Eden Haiku: He's just a few years older than me.. Wrote about one of his plays.
Bleu Oleander: morning ladies
Eliza Madrigal: Morning Bleu :)

--BELL--

Eden Haiku: Morning Lady Bleu :)
Eliza Madrigal: I'm not sure how old, or rather young, I was...maybe around the time my great grandmother died, so sensations might have gotten tangled up. I worried my kids might feel similar about Lion King
Eliza Madrigal: does he write mostly serious material, Eden? Am curious what drew you

What drew me

Eden Haiku: We are talking about seeing something sad in a movie when we are a kid Bleu:)
Bleu Oleander: ah ok thanks
Eden Haiku: Ah, yes. Eliza. My choice of subject was quite personal indeed.
Eden Haiku: And we just switched to a Quebec author I studied.
Eden Haiku: And wrote a Master thesis on.
Eden Haiku: The play is called "A toi pour toujours ta Marie-OOOLou". To you forever, my Marie-Lou. [Forever Yours, Marie-Lou is the proper translation]
Eliza Madrigal: and that just resonated with you?
Eden Haiku: yes, there is a link I think, in English...
Eden Haiku: http://www.canada.com/story.html?id=d999fe63-5569-4850-8407-9b9036857b41
Eden Haiku: It’s a review
Eliza Madrigal clicks

Eliza Madrigal: "as two little sisters battle over their versions of the past..."
Eliza Madrigal: sounds interesting
Bleu Oleander: yes!
Eden Haiku: The father invites his wife for a drive. They take their younger son with them
Eden Haiku: Yes, you are seeing the link.
Bleu Oleander: yes
Eden Haiku: The story is told by two sisters, like in a Greek tragedy, they create a chorus
Eden Haiku: The father kills himself, his wife and the kid by hurting a pillar on the highway. It’s a suicide.
Eden Haiku: My father never did it but was always talking about doing that when I was growing up. My fear of cars is grounded in that memory.
Bleu Oleander: oh my
Eliza Madrigal: he talked aloud with you that way? :(
Bleu Oleander: how terrifying for a young child
Eden Haiku: But that part at least seems to be healing. I rented a car last week end and had no problem at all driving!
Eliza Madrigal: congratulations!
Bleu Oleander: that's good!!!
Eden Haiku: He didn't only talk. Everytime we went to our grandparents up North, he would pretend he was going to drive over the precipice you know?
Bleu Oleander: yikes
Eliza Madrigal: wow, Eden
Bleu Oleander: did you scream?
Eden Haiku: My father has been suicidal a lot when he was younger. He was feeling better in his older years.
Eden Haiku: The three of us were screaming like hell on the back seat!
Eden Haiku: The youngest was'nt born yet.
Eden Haiku: Strangely, I was the only one with a fear of driving.
Eden Haiku: I overcame it for good only after my father passed away.

--BELL--

Wes Anderson movies

Bleu Oleander: Eden your outfit is so cute ... just noticed the shoes too :)

Photo by Bleu

Eden Haiku: Thank you Bleu :) 
Eliza Madrigal: Sometimes it is hard to see the reason for one's life.
Eden Haiku: I have been shopping a few weeks ago :)
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eden Haiku: But the new mesh clothes give you an anorexic waist don't they?

Eliza Madrigal: One reason I love most of Wes Anderson's films is because he does such a good job of showing characters that are stunted and halted at a certain point in life. Life goes on, but in his films the characters always carry that moment, whether in clothing styles or way of speech, etc. Orients their life in some exaggerated manner. I think that's true for people generally.
Eliza Madrigal: I've never mastered mesh, still largely avoid it :)) maybe I'm stuck
Eliza Madrigal: ^^
Eden Haiku: Yes Eliza, some parts of us get frozen in time. I love Anderson movies too :)
Bleu Oleander: yes mesh has its own shape it forces on you
Eden Haiku: And then the self creates a "guardian" for that traumatized part of the self which become estranged and alone in the dark.
Eden Haiku: Only a lot of tender loving care and empathy can convince the guardian to let the frozen part come back to life and play :)
Bleu Oleander: The Royal Tenenbaums is the only film I've seen of Anderson's
Eliza Madrigal: Grand Budapest is the last one... really worthwhile, but Tenenbaums is my favorite :)
Bleu Oleander: yes, I really liked that movie
Eden Haiku: Darjeeling Express is lovely too :)
Eliza Madrigal: it is!
Eliza Madrigal: was so hard for me to find in theaters... drove a while and attended myself

Our multiple selves

Eliza Madrigal: are you still reading the book by the psychiatrist, Eden?
Eden Haiku: Yes, very slowly, as I, started another one too...
Eden Haiku: You?
Eliza Madrigal: the beginning part of the book is just wonderful
Bleu Oleander: which book?
Eden Haiku: link coming Bleu
Eliza Madrigal: but then it becomes a little flatter as she is writing from the mature psychiatrist view
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eliza Madrigal: she talks about these characters she lived with...
Eliza Madrigal: what they represented and how "they" manipulated her
Eliza Madrigal: , how she manipulated others
Eliza Madrigal: strangely beautiful
Eden Haiku: My Google search spits results only in French aargghhh
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eden Haiku: She's called Arnhild Lauveng Bleu. Was schizophrenic and wrote a book about a voyage back from schizophrenia
Bleu Oleander: ok thanks
Eliza Madrigal: I thought of that again when you mention making a guardian
Eden Haiku: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Road-Back-Schizophrenia-Memoir/dp/1616088710
Bleu Oleander: ty!
Eliza Madrigal: wonder how that relates to gurus, etc
Eden Haiku: Yes Eliza and it occurs to me how in Play as Being we use the word "guardian"
Bleu Oleander: gurus as schizophrenics?
Eliza Madrigal: gurus as in someone projected upon, trusted for a time
Bleu Oleander: ah ok
Bleu Oleander: as trusted guides?
Eden Haiku: The inner parts of ourselves who act as fierce knights protecting the entrance of the cave where the wounded part of the self lives.
Eliza Madrigal: I feel like schizophrenia is some exaggeration of natural inclinations
Eliza Madrigal nods Eden
Eden Haiku: Yes, I do too. We are many selves.

--BELL--

Bleu Oleander: yes :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: The "guardian" we are here is quite sensible.
Bleu Oleander: who comes out to play and when
Eden Haiku: But some inner guardians can be terrifying...
Bleu Oleander: some of our selves are more controlling and dominant and some have to be coaxed out ... but I find most of the time I switch back and forth in all situations ... its more of a blend of selves
Eliza Madrigal: that seems a healthy way of being, perhaps because you accept many selves?
Bleu Oleander: I think so
Eliza Madrigal: so no need to dissociate
Eden Haiku: Yes, that's true Bleu, most of the time.
Bleu Oleander: the environment switches me, language does too and of course "other people" :)

Yesterday, was the official opening of the beautiful gardens created by Santoshima at the Art Gallery level [ sadly, I took many pictures but somehow none registered on my computer. Fortunately, Eliza shared hers :)]

Photo by Eliza

Eden Haiku: the visit of the gardens yesterday was exquisite Bleu. really enjoyed myself :)
Bleu Oleander: it was great to see it being enjoyed!
Eden Haiku: And many attended, it was fun. I was overjoyed to see Zen I hadn't seen in ages :)
Bleu Oleander: guardians at play
Eliza Madrigal: at some point I was wandering around and it really felt like forest practice :)
Bleu Oleander: yes :)
Eden Haiku: Ah you mean like during RL PaB retreat Eliza?
Bleu Oleander: a feeling of discovery
Eliza Madrigal: very much so
Eliza Madrigal: was surprised
Eden Haiku: remembers pictures of the Nova Scotia retreat...
Eliza Madrigal: there were so many little details to catch parts of attention
Eden Haiku: Egrets and swans!
Bleu Oleander: yes!
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Eden Haiku: And the swing!
Eliza Madrigal: and moss... I love moss
Bleu Oleander: an aged feeling
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Eden Haiku: Sitting everywhere
Bleu Oleander: layers
Eliza Madrigal: thats the first thing I'd want to do if occulus or other tech becomes more accessible
Eliza Madrigal: play in forests
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eliza Madrigal: and Eden running around like a forest fairy
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: hehe
Eden Haiku: Saw that you added a tiny cushion here at the pavilion Bleu.
Bleu Oleander: thinks ... A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Bleu Oleander: yes for Fc
Eden Haiku: That’s sweet and inviting for our little panda :)
Eliza Madrigal: these cushions are perfect feeling, worn down but still pretty
Bleu Oleander: ty!
Eden Haiku: Played the part of one of the elves in Midsummer at drama school :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Bleu Oleander: a natural!
Bleu Oleander: making Fc's tiny cushion ... was thinking it might be nice for any of us to have a unique cushion texture perhaps?
Eliza Madrigal: good way to identify it
Eden Haiku: Yes Bleu!
Bleu Oleander: not that we would always sit on our own ... but might feel more a part of the pavilion in a way?
Eden Haiku: Unless it breaks the unity of the design...
Bleu Oleander: Fc gave me the texture for the pillow
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal: so pleasant now
Bleu Oleander: yes
Bleu Oleander: would be more like a quilt
Eden Haiku: Maybe better leave it like that, otherwise it will get visually noisy
Bleu Oleander: probably true
Eden Haiku: Went to see all the pictures of the pavilions yesterday at the art gallery.
Bleu Oleander: yes a good way to refresh memory for voting
Eden Haiku: I do prefer all the simple ones but this one is winning my vote :)

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: a few have said same
Bleu Oleander: btw, Darren will put up his first one again tomorrow
Bleu Oleander: and we will have a feedback session next sunday
Eden Haiku: Ah yes, tks for the reminder.
Eliza Madrigal: thanks for this session ladies :) must now run errands
Bleu Oleander: yes me too
Eden Haiku: Bye Eliza, thanks for coming!
Bleu Oleander: have a lovely day
Eden Haiku: Bye Bleu, have a nice day both of you!
Eliza Madrigal: you too
Eliza Madrigal: bfn <3
Bleu Oleander: hugs
Eden Haiku: Hugs