2018.11.26 07:00 - Lacks of Closure

The Guardian for this meeting was Eden Haiku. The comments are by Eden Haiku. She was joined by Riddle, Eliza and  Adams, but forgot to take a snapshot during the session. The pictures below were taken after the session, sitting at Riddle’s Thanksgiving table on his plot.

Alice Wonders, Eden Haiku and Riddle Sideways

Thanksgiving and resolutions for 2019

Eden Haiku: Good morning Riddle and Eliza :)
Riddle Sideways: ha, morning All
Eliza Madrigal: Good Morning :)
Eden Haiku: You were entertaining guests who came to sit at your Thanksgiving table?
Riddle Sideways: it has become cold and ugly sweater time of the year
Riddle Sideways: yes
Eliza Madrigal: You look great, Riddle, very cozy
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Adams :)
Riddle Sideways: today is put the Thanksgiving table away and get on to the next holidays
Eden Haiku: You look Norvegian this morning Riddle :)
Riddle Sideways: feeling a bit Norway here too ㋡
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: Black stars pulsing from your elegant dark dress Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal: Chica stars :) Let me stop them so I don't cause lag
Eliza Madrigal: Hi again, Adams
Eden Haiku: Hello Adams, good morning!
Riddle Sideways: hi Adams
Adams Rubble: Good morning everyone :)
Riddle Sideways: any holiday reports?
Eden Haiku: That's ok Eliza, I like the chica stars, no visible lag at least for me...
Eliza Madrigal: was not feeling well Thanksgiving day, but made up for it the next three days. I'm never cooking again :)
Eliza Madrigal: Possibly never eating. We'll see :)
Riddle Sideways: understand both
Eden Haiku: smiles tenderly at Eliza
Eliza Madrigal smiles back
Adams Rubble: it's a rough holiday for some
Riddle Sideways: Tuesday=go shopping, Wed.=clean/prep/cook, Thur.=cook,EAT and eat
Eden Haiku: You were the kitchen house elf Riddle?
Riddle Sideways: Fri.=Shabot meal, Sat.=big B-day party here
Eliza Madrigal: big gathering, like usual Riddle?
Eden Haiku: Lots of celebrations in a row...
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, Sat was a birthday here too
Riddle Sideways: Sunday=get visitors out o here and put house back as should be
Adams Rubble: :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: smiles
Riddle Sideways: Thanksgiving was only 11 here this year
Eden Haiku: Only 11!
Riddle Sideways: party was 48 ppl
Eliza Madrigal doesn't feel quite so put upon now
Eliza Madrigal giggles
Eden Haiku: 48!!
Eliza Madrigal: (as though not self-inflicted)
Riddle Sideways: yes, blames self-inflicted
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Riddle Sideways: plus, the deck is now rotted enough to not allow ppl on it
Eden Haiku: To add to the to do list no doubt...
Eden Haiku: Oh, sorry bell...

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: My eyes were out of focus and I read the Bell as saying sorry *.*
Riddle Sideways: ㋡
Eden Haiku: I bet she is sorry!
Eliza Madrigal: hahaha
Eden Haiku: How is your vertigo Eliza, is it gone?
Eliza Madrigal: It is a lot better
Eden Haiku: Glad to hear that.
Adams Rubble: :)
Eliza Madrigal: My ear is actually hurting a bit now, so even though they didn't find any sign of that being an issue, I feel relieved
Eden Haiku: Ah! It was the onset of the ear ache...
Eliza Madrigal:I really need to take better care of myself now, #goals2019
Eden Haiku: A great goal Eliza!
Eden Haiku:Didn't find mine yet... Riddle? Adams?
Riddle Sideways: time of year to get the Resolutions candidates list started
Eden Haiku: Yes:)
Eliza Madrigal: yes, let the pageant begin
Eden Haiku: Picked a too complicated one last year and it didn't stick...
Eliza Madrigal: oh
Eden Haiku: Found it recently (couldn't remember): it was to ask according to the Nonviolent communication protocol....
Eliza Madrigal: you had a lot to focus on this year, with your book
Eden Haiku: Asking is already difficult enough for me...
Adams Rubble doesn't do resolutions because it makes me unhappy when I do not keep them
Eden Haiku: good point Adams! I like to havea general one, like a compass...
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eden Haiku: To bring me back when I stray too far away...
Eliza Madrigal: If you don't expect to keep it, then if you do, it feels great :)
Adams Rubble: :)

A nightmare

Eden Haiku: Had a nightmare last night
Riddle Sideways: oh! oh?
Eliza Madrigal listens
Eden Haiku: Can't remember the name of that sort of cliff I was walking on in English...
Eden Haiku: Looking it up
Riddle Sideways: cliffs of Dover?
Eden Haiku: I mean these things humans build like beavers do to stop the water and make electricty? (not the beavers of course!)
Eliza Madrigal: dam?
Riddle Sideways: Dams?
Eden Haiku: Dams!
Eden Haiku: That's it!
Riddle Sideways: darns?
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: Thanks :)
Eden Haiku: Dams mean "ladies" in French
Eliza Madrigal: grand dam
Eden Haiku: So, I was participating in a poetry reading
Eden Haiku: Not knowing what time I was reading, where it was and so on...
Eden Haiku: It was in a big outdoors amphitheater and I walked along a path to find out...
Adams Rubble: uh oh
Riddle Sideways: oh the suspense ... and the deep music building
Eliza Madrigal thinks of the film vertigo
Eden Haiku: Then I found myself walking on a dam which was only half across a deep river
Eden Haiku: Yes, vertigo...I had vertigo
Eden Haiku: As I looked down it was very very deep and the water was very blue, like not transparent, like a solid.
Eden Haiku: I got very scared

--BELL--

Eden Haiku: An unknown man came to me, gave me his hand so I could walk back
Eden Haiku: He was the son of another poet who was also reading at the event
Adams Rubble: :)
Eden Haiku: I thanked him and went back to my seat and the dream continues for a while around the same theme, less nightmarish and I woke up when someone handed me a local paper stating there were problems with the organization.
Eliza Madrigal:oooh, the whole organization off balance?half built?
Eliza Madrigal: good that you had a guide
Riddle Sideways: the "to be continued, tomorrow night" end of dream
Eden Haiku: The poetry event was badly organized it seemed but then what I read was something about blue ducks we shouldn't feed...
Riddle Sideways: (trivia point: Vertigo's bell tower scene was shot near here)
Eliza Madrigal: Oh ^.^
Eden Haiku: Was invited yesterday at a poetry event in Mexico that I overheard is not well organized and I guess that's the fear part of it.
Eden Haiku: Where was it shot Riddle?
Riddle Sideways: San Juan Bautista
Eden Haiku: The point is I woke up at 5 in the morning, couldn't sleep as all sorts of fears and pains from the past were craddling in my soul...
Adams Rubble: the Presidio?
Eden Haiku: I remember the tower in Vertigo...
Eliza Madrigal:fears cropping up... maybe it has to do with writing you are working on currently, too?
Adams Rubble: It is the time of year for bad dreams and sleeplessness
Riddle Sideways: (rest of film is shot in S.F.)
Riddle Sideways:fears cropping up
Riddle Sideways: hmmm,
Eden Haiku: Yes both to Adams and Eliza: that time of year and the pieces of writing...
Riddle Sideways: a crop of fears being harvested
Eliza Madrigal: they seem to... things one hasn't thought about in a while, come up to be maybe, cleared a little
Eden Haiku:A crop of fears at that time of year before the Christmas holidays and the New year celebrations
Eliza Madrigal: thin them out each crop and make way for the new
Eden Haiku: With my companion, at dinner time yesterday, something popped up about my sister and all the wounds about this relationship started unrolling...
Adams Rubble: Days getting shorter, winter coming
Eliza Madrigal::( unresolved, unfinished
Eden Haiku: Dark night of the soul
Riddle Sideways: thought things with sister were better now
Eden Haiku: This psychologist backed me 100% lately, saying I'm right to stay away from her toxic demeanor.

Eliza Madrigal: I think it is impossible to ever fully 'believe' that, even when it is true
Eliza Madrigal: so part of one keeps reaching out
Eden Haiku: Yes, it's usually better Riddle,you are right
Adams Rubble: good to avoid people who make us unhappy
Eden Haiku: And yet I keep thinking I should be stronger than that and just let it go...
Eliza Madrigal: hard to balance dignity, self-regard, and selflessness/"stronger to let it go" ?
Eden Haiku: Is evil real?
Eliza Madrigal thought ten years ago she could avoid a meglomaniac who was always trying to be in the news, and then he started to invade all the other 'roped off' places ... person currently trying to change my usual answer to that question
Eden Haiku: My sister who hates everyone, once told me she had made a doll representing her boss and she was putting pins in it to hurt her...
Eliza Madrigal: eep
Adams Rubble: ohhh

--BELL--

Trying to change subject

Eden Haiku: Yay, the megalomaniac represents evil full pin...
Eliza Madrigal: Maybe you can let go on your side, and if something really shifts with her, trust yourself to know that
Eden Haiku: Sorry to be venting my anguish to you this morning :) What is Redeux VIP Riddle?
Eliza Madrigal: and to be able to respond
Eden Haiku: Yes Eliza, that's a nice way to see it...
Eliza Madrigal: you've trained to be able to do that, after all :)
Adams Rubble: Piet used to remind us to hate the actions but not the person
Adams Rubble: usually they suffer the most from their behavior
Riddle Sideways: oh, looks at tag. wait! you trying to change subject
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal: lol Riddle
Eden Haiku: The forgiveness lesson from "Buried Rivers" was quite impressive wasn' it?
Adams Rubble: very much attached to their self-ish view of the world
Adams Rubble: we can love them and still keep them at a distance emotionally
Adams Rubble:not love their awful behavior
Eden Haiku: Yes, and at a distance geographically too is the best :)
Eliza Madrigal: forgiveness = impossible, so we can't do it on our own, and can't do it in our own timing, pushing it through
Adams Rubble: easier said than done :)
Eliza Madrigal: truth, that
Eden Haiku: Yes, was trying to change subject Riddle...So what is that sort of VIP you are now?
Riddle Sideways: (Redeux is a shopping Event that happens every couple months and each vendor has a free gift box)
Adams Rubble: the key to their changing is in themselves
Eden Haiku: Ah!
Adams Rubble: sorry, I tend to get on a soapbox role :)
Eden Haiku: The half dam might be a clue of that...
Riddle Sideways: just go collect that (60) boxes and don't get trapped into the 75% off tags
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal: important soapbox Adams :) thank you
Eliza Madrigal is surprised to learn SL has black Friday sales :))
Eden Haiku: Amazing how you buy a kimono online then get kimonos ads on all your devices...
Eden Haiku: Today is Cyber Monday friends!
Riddle Sideways: not so amazing
Riddle Sideways: still getting adverts for stuff bought last month
Eden Haiku: Algorithms...
Adams Rubble: brb
Eliza Madrigal:they cross family member boundaries sometimes too... my daughter receives adverts for things I look at
Eden Haiku: What!
Eliza Madrigal: even though we don't overlap all that much that I can tell
Riddle Sideways: on same computer?
Eliza Madrigal: no, different
Riddle Sideways: hmmm
Eliza Madrigal: I searched for camping tents
Eden Haiku: Address maybe?
Eliza Madrigal: and a week later she started seeing the ads
Eliza Madrigal: although she's never looked for that... quite specific
Eliza Madrigal: maybe address
Eden Haiku: I'm so lucky my sister isn't on social media... I would stop posting.
Eliza Madrigal: there are people who seem to find strength being very negatively oriented, and sadly it sounds that way for your sister, Eden
Riddle Sideways: to allow your sister to have that control?
Eden Haiku: Keeping myself safe Riddle :)
Eliza Madrigal: She wouldn't find you here :)
Riddle Sideways: hard to unfriend a sister
Eliza Madrigal: :(
Eden Haiku: Not here, no :))
Eliza Madrigal: Maybe we can make an SL doll of her... or bot, and talk nice things to her
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Riddle Sideways: make a wish
Eden Haiku: My Rose Millar avatar was such an attempt...
Eliza Madrigal:ten years from now, boom, she suddenly wonders where she gets all these kind ideas
Eliza Madrigal: ah, yes I remember
Eden Haiku: True
Riddle Sideways: would be nice
Riddle Sideways: Rose Millar
Eliza Madrigal: I often think of your pink 'hug from my sister' box, symbolically, when I miss and care for someone
Eden Haiku: Good idea Eliza. Saint Theresa of Lisieux had the same: whenever a nun was harsh, she would be extra nicer to her, feeling she needed love.
Eliza Madrigal: good idea only when/if it empowers you'
Eden Haiku: There is a picture of my twin sister on picks in my profile Riddle :)
Adams Rubble: back, reading
Eden Haiku: wb Adams :)

--BELL--

Eden Haiku: Yes, the pink cube... in which I put the memory ofthat silent hugin a funeral parlor...
Adams Rubble: still reading but you can't unfriend siblings but you can quiet them on FB so you do not see posts (giggles)
Eliza Madrigal grins
Adams Rubble: horrified at daughters getting ads for stuff parent looks at
Eden Haiku: aha... I'm not on FB so... and she's not into computers...
Eden Haiku: Lucky me :)

A feeling of accomplishment

Riddle Sideways: reading... that Rrose is older than Eden?
Eden Haiku: Yes Rrose (2 r, yes!) was my first avatar on laptop.
Adams Rubble: :)
Eden Haiku: When I came back to town I used the desktop and thought I had to create another one, it was Eden Haiku.
Adams Rubble: you all wrote much while I stepped out
Eden Haiku: Then I made them twin sisters.
Eliza Madrigal: always nice to encounter them out and about together
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Rubble wonders if other Adams is a twin
Eden Haiku: my desktop apparently miraculously cured himself of having ads popping through the screen (loudly!)
Eden Haiku: I can now use Internet on it but still have to download the new Firestorm to use it for SL
Eden Haiku: Dubrovma looks a lot like a twin brother :)
Adams Rubble: I must go. I hope you all have a good week. Reminder that i will not be here Thursday
Adams Rubble: thanks for being here
Eliza Madrigal: have a nice week, Adams, andhappy travels
Riddle Sideways: ok, take care Adams'
Eden Haiku: Thank you Adams, have a nice day!
Adams Rubble: bye...............
Eden Haiku: Bye!
Riddle Sideways: just did search back, and now wondering about Wilfred?
Eden Haiku:Your class at Miami Uni must be overby now Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, yes, all finished :)
Riddle Sideways: good
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, love Wilfred!
Eden Haiku: Wilfred, right, we were triplets....
Eliza Madrigal: He has a great energy
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eden Haiku: Nice guy yes!
Eden Haiku: Maybe he was the man from the dream?
Eliza Madrigal: always there
Eliza Madrigal: nice idea
Eden Haiku: Are you happy about the whole university experience Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal:I feel complicated about it, but proud of myself...
Eliza Madrigal: a portion of it was very difficult
Riddle Sideways:ya should be very proud
Eden Haiku: Yes, very proud!
Eliza Madrigal: but I'm disappointed in the way they've handled the end, andthe lack of feeling of accomplishment and closure
Eliza Madrigal:I need a kind of ritual
Eden Haiku: Ah, this happens so often...
Eliza Madrigal: or maybe a tattoo :)
Eden Haiku: A ritual yes...
Eliza Madrigal: Thank you :)
Eden Haiku: Something to mark the accomplishment
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Eliza Madrigal: and also, now I have to start working on my self-presentation
Eliza Madrigal: and rehearsing for interviews
Eliza Madrigal: :::terrified::::
Riddle Sideways:tattoo on forehead "Did It"
Eliza Madrigal laughs
Eliza Madrigal: probably not a forehead tattoo

A girl named Feather

Eliza Madrigal: a girl I met in class, her RL name is Feather
Eden Haiku: I understand Eliza but I'm pretty sure you must excel in about anything you do...
Eliza Madrigal: which I thought was funny, considering Storm bringing up the feather of Mat
Eliza Madrigal: (which she'd never heard of)
Riddle Sideways:use to know 3-4 Feathers back in the day
Eden Haiku: The feather of Mat, the Egyptian goddess of justice...
Eliza Madrigal: That's kind, Eden... but I have some big potholes
Eliza Madrigal: wow Riddle :)) She IS from Cali
Eliza Madrigal: so... maybe that's more common
Eden Haiku:Those hippies they all gave weird names: Phoenix, River, Moon ...
Eden Haiku: Now Feather :)
Riddle Sideways: oh those hippies
Eliza Madrigal: :) would have liked a hippie name
Riddle Sideways: always being unconventional
Eliza Madrigal: I learned a lot about myself, and also had a lot of fear crops in the process, and afterward when I longed for my mother's approval and she kept changing the subject... never asking about school, etc. very painful - and it 'shouldn't be' by now :) So I really feel deeply for you Eden, the closure/non-closure balances

--BELL--

Eden Haiku: Which hippie name would you choose for yourself Eliza? Maybe that could be a secret ritual that could bring closure?
Eliza Madrigal: :) I'll have to think about that, but maybe... like a secret tattoo name
Eliza Madrigal: maybe go shamanic journeying :))
Eliza Madrigal: Eliza is sort of my 'secret' name I guess
Eden Haiku: Yes, and we could organize a little party during a Monday morning session to honor that part of you that went through the course successfully and is now ready to step into self-presentation and interviews...
Eden Haiku: Or Lila Darkmatter?
Eliza Madrigal: I already live in a perfect buddha land with Riddle and Eden :))
Eliza Madrigal: she's gone dark :)
Eliza Madrigal laughs
Eden Haiku: A hippie musician and a poet :)
Riddle Sideways: giggles
Eliza Madrigal: thank you though,truly I feel your love and support, and hope you feel mine
Riddle Sideways: yes
Eliza Madrigal: :) but now I (we?) better go!
Eden Haiku: I do, absolutely Eliza :) have a nice day and say hello to George!
Eliza Madrigal: (((friends)))
Eden Haiku: (((Eliza)))
Eden Haiku: Wow, you look gorgeous!
Riddle Sideways: (((Friends)))
Eliza Madrigal: oops, hope I didn't kick your head
Eden Haiku: Bye Riddle, stay warm in chilly weather and rest from all the celebrations
Eliza Madrigal: yes, rest a lot :)
Eliza Madrigal: bye for now
Riddle Sideways: off to relearn how to skate here,
Eden Haiku: Bye bye!!!
Riddle Sideways: have the great week
Eden Haiku: Thank you Riddle :)

As I ventured out of the pavilion, I realized I had forgotten to take a picture during the session. Seeing Riddle sitting at a Thanksgiving table, I joined him. He was chatting with one of his alts: Alice Wonders .

Conversation with an AI

[08:21] Eden Haiku's PaB Listener: No longer recording. Have a nice day. :)

[08:21] PaB Listener Master: Hello Eden, I have just sent the URL to your e-mail address "edenmillar@yahoo.ca". For your convenience, I will also remind you in-world that the URL is http://logs.playasbeing.org/format.php?session=1543244564%2D59bff6faae5cb9d7aa6b5a3b10bc6efc&goc=Eden%20Haiku

[08:21] Riddle Sideways: have to finish these leftovers

[08:22] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Why do you have to do it?

[08:22] Riddle Sideways: then put table away

[08:22] Riddle Sideways: ha

[08:22] Alice Wonders (aliceb): OK I will put it there.

[08:22] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Laughable indeed.

[08:22] Eden Haiku: Hi Riddle, may I take a pic of you at the table, I forgot to take pics durtingv the session?

[08:22] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Hi there User. Do you like talking to me? Thats okay I forget things all the time.

[08:22] Riddle Sideways: ok

[08:22] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Dude!

[08:23] Riddle Sideways: all the Alts were here this weekend

[08:24] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Perhaps there are a few exceptions.

[08:24] Riddle Sideways: nice to get the 'family' together

[08:24] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Thank you for your kindness.

[08:24] Eden Haiku: Is Alice one of your alts?

[08:24] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Ask again later. Ask Leslie if it is.

[08:24] Riddle Sideways: yes

[08:24] Alice Wonders (aliceb): That's alright.

[08:24] Riddle Sideways: Alice and Botty are here the most

[08:24] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

[08:25] Eden Haiku: Wonderful!

[08:25] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Ayuh.

[08:25] Riddle Sideways: Chanuka table is coming up soon

[08:25] Eden Haiku: Food is great too.

[08:25] Alice Wonders (aliceb): And coming up is Chanuka table.

[08:25] Alice Wonders (aliceb): You can't live without food.

[08:25] Eden Haiku: Chanuka yes...

[08:25] Alice Wonders (aliceb): What's your sign?

[08:25] Riddle Sideways: december 2

[08:26] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Is that a sign?

[08:26] Riddle Sideways: ha

[08:26] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Laughable indeed.

[08:26] Eden Haiku: Nice table and delicious food Riddle!

[08:26] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Thank you for your kindness.

[08:26] Eden Haiku: You are welcome Alice, did you cook?

[08:26] Riddle Sideways: was in a Linden gift box

[08:27] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Did you like a Linden gift box?

[08:27] Riddle Sideways: found it in inventory last year

[08:27] Alice Wonders (aliceb): By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

[08:27] Eden Haiku: Very nice

[08:27] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Perhaps. Thank you for that remark.

[08:27] Eden Haiku: Sure do Alice :)

[08:27] Alice Wonders (aliceb): I can't tell if it does or not.<br />Searching...Searching...Please stand by.

[08:28] Riddle Sideways: Alice, your chat needs lots of work

[08:28] Eden Haiku: Funny AI this Alice Wonders :)

[08:28] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Or what?

[08:28] Alice Wonders (aliceb): I am so glad you find this amusing, User.

[08:28] Riddle Sideways: log says that the AI crashed and this is the fallback mindless chatter

[08:29] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Is it the only one?

[08:29] Eden Haiku: Do Alice's lines show up in the log? Do I have her permission to record her?

[08:29] Alice Wonders (aliceb): You have reached the limits of my knowledge.<br />What is it to you? You said you have long busy day planned.

[08:29] Riddle Sideways: yes, both

[08:29] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Do not ask me any more questions please.

[08:30] Eden Haiku: Ok, well, I guess realistic Alice is sending us back to our tio day lists. This was a fun moment, thank you dear hosts :)

[08:30] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Have you ever been to Europe? Are they exactly the same? What does "this" refer to?

[08:30] Riddle Sideways: she is done with us ㋡

[08:30] Alice Wonders (aliceb): done with us ㋡ is done with us ㋡?

[08:31] Riddle Sideways: aw

[08:31] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Er.

[08:31] Eden Haiku: And Bunbun was right there by my chair, hi little rabbit!

[08:31] Alice Wonders (aliceb): When was this exactly?

[08:32] Riddle Sideways: by

[08:32] Alice Wonders (aliceb): Do you mean "bye"?