2008.04.09 19:00 - Foxy Lady

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    This evening is was just Sky and me.

    Pema Pera: Hi Sky!
    Sky Szimmer: hi pema
    Sky Szimmer: i am really starting to like my foxy self
    Pema Pera: yes, foxy lady !
    Sky Szimmer: i was thinking about changing form but yesterday i had a weird experience in RL that endeared me to my sl form
    Pema Pera: what was that?
    Sky Szimmer: i was in a heated exchange yesterday and i was falling into the same old trap
    Sky Szimmer: when i noticed that when the other person was talking, i had the image of my foxy self sitting on the cushion just waiting for the next text to show up. my foxy face was serene, with that smiley expression, with not a single thought going through that form, just detached…
    Pema Pera: neat!
    Sky Szimmer: i was able to feel that calmness and waiting… just waiting patiently for the other person to finishing talking “texting” to me. it was great. my foxy self took me out of my usual engagement.
    Sky Szimmer: it gave me time and space to react.
    Pema Pera: how powerful!
    Sky Szimmer: so this texting is great way of communicating.
    Pema Pera: I keep being amazed at how SL and RL interact and intermingle and influence each other.
    Pema Pera: Yes, I have a sense of serenity here too.
    Sky Szimmer: i really appreciate what you are trying to do here and the great cast of participants. i have really learned alot from everyone.

    Sky commented on her child, who was sitting next to her, watching the screen.

    Sky Szimmer: i have more time these days now that marco is almost 2
    Sky Szimmer: he can entertain himself while i do this.
    Pema Pera: how nice!
    Pema Pera: perhaps you can find a small foxy avatar for him ;>)
    Sky Szimmer: i enjoyed your conversation with Maxine.
    Sky Szimmer: i thought of that.
    Pema Pera: Yes, Maxine is pretty amazing
    Pema Pera: I like the way she combines her professional psychologist outlook with her personal quest
    Sky Szimmer: another point with being in the fox, it allows for stopping. I see my foxy self in the act of doing, but i am totally detached. when i synch into that detachment, i stop.
    Sky Szimmer: yes. maxine is very amazing. through you, i get a glimpse into a whole different world of people. i appreciate that.
    Pema Pera: and they can share your insights!
    Pema Pera: We all gain.

    Delighted to hear about Sky’s happy discoveries, I was curious to see whether it would be possible to reflect a bit more about how her `stopping’ took place. In retrospect, I realize my questions were quite clumsy, and I did not succeed to hit the right note — but that is part of the kind of laboratory approach to life: you make mistakes and you learn from them.

    Pema Pera: As for stopping,
    Pema Pera: yes, in RL we can do the same
    Pema Pera: from the point of Being, our presence in RL can be seen as a kind of avatar too.
    Pema Pera: I guess that is part of what you felt?
    Sky Szimmer: i am not sure.
    Pema Pera: Let us start with the experience
    Pema Pera: You felt serene, as if you were a fox, and that implied, I guess, that you saw the RL situation also as a kind of game, somewhat along the lines as our SL presence as avatars is a kind of game — would that be a good summary?
    Pema Pera: Or would you express that differently?
    Sky Szimmer: no. i can’t say that is correct. i don’t see this as a game.
    Pema Pera: How would you express it?
    Pema Pera: The word “game” or “play” can be used in very many different ways . . .
    Sky Szimmer: right.
    Pema Pera: Detachment can lead to more intimacy. When we step away we can sometimes fall into a situation more deeply
    Pema Pera: Was the serenity you felt something like that perhaps?
    Sky Szimmer: i don’t know if i can express this well. i guess observing myself as a fox, watching myself in action in SL, allows me to do somewhat the same in RL
    Pema Pera: So if I may offer an interpretation — and you should check whether that makes sense –
    Pema Pera: okay, let us start with a movie
    Pema Pera: If we really think someone is murdered right in front of us, it would be hard to just sit there and watch
    Pema Pera: but because we know it is not ultimately real, we can allow ourselves to really go fully into the emotions and immerse ourselves in the movie
    Pema Pera: So the detachment of knowing that it is only a movie allows a more intimate willingness of really going into all the emotions of the movie, the joy and sorrow both.
    Sky Szimmer: i become more of the observer. so in my argument, it felt like i was sitting on the cushion
    Pema Pera: Perhaps the detachment of you from the fox may be similar?
    Sky Szimmer: i don’t yet share what you are explaining.
    Pema Pera: how do you see it ?
    Sky Szimmer: theorectically i can see what you are saying but it is not yet my personal view
    Sky Szimmer: i am still stuck at believing the movie as real but yesterday, it allowed me to be in an out of body experience where I was watching it all happen from the distance
    Pema Pera: You can forget about my attempt to make a parallel, of course, if that doesn’t fit with your experience, but I’m curious about the two aspects of what you described.
    Pema Pera: On the one hand you are of course not a fox — yet by viewing yourself as a fox you can get in touch more directly with a way to be more serene.
    Pema Pera: So your foxiness helps you to be more real , at least in some sense.
    Sky Szimmer: i will be right back. rl calling. poopoo duty

    At this moment RL did clearly interfere. After taking care of her young son, Sky-the-fox broke out in a loud belly laughter. Surprized, I was about to ask what happened, but Sky was ahead of me:

    Sky Szimmer: just showing marco what i can do
    Pema Pera: I wondered why you laughed all of a sudden!
    Pema Pera: That was funny.
    Pema Pera: Hi Marco!
    Pema Pera: So you are not a fox, and yet your foxiness helps you to be more real in some sense — perhaps my movie analogy was not helpful, but what I was trying to aim at is this paradox; does that make sense or do you see it differently?
    Sky Szimmer: by being a fox, i can distance my self in RL. all become a PaB
    Pema Pera: that is wonderful to have that option!
    Pema Pera: so how do you see PaB in that case, can you say a bit more about the Play there?
    Sky Szimmer: i see some of the space in play as you were discussing this morning.
    Sky Szimmer: I see all as the being, at times
    Sky Szimmer: when i see marco, he is just unreal.
    Sky Szimmer: he is so delightful really
    Pema Pera: how nice, to see it that way!

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