2008.04.26 07:00 - Insecurity

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    When I arrived at the tea house, and went in, I did not see anyone there. However, I noticed that Dakini was walking around in the grass just behind the tea house. Not sure whether she had other plans or not. I walked out just to say hello.

    Pema Pera: Oh, hi Dakini!
    Pema Pera: Nice to see you here out in the meadow!
    Dakini Rhode: hi, Pema!

    I waited a while, not sure whether she was lost in thought, lost in IM, or lost in RL — you never know in SL (^_^). Since there was someone else sitting nearby I switched to IM.

    IM: Pema Pera: Thanks for asking me about PaB yesterday; I hope that my answer went in the right direction
    IM: Dakini Rhode: lol i’m not sure what the right direction would be…. but I was so pleased to read your answer
    IM: Pema Pera: thank you! Glad to hear that
    IM: Dakini Rhode: you sound so secure in your grounding in being
    IM: Pema Pera: Like you, I don’t know what I’m doing lol
    IM: Pema Pera: both
    IM: Pema Pera: secure and no idea what I’m doing hahaha
    IM: Dakini Rhode: haha
    IM: Dakini Rhode: i’m insecure and still don’t know what i’m doing haha
    IM: Pema Pera: well, that may not be that different after all . . . .
    IM: Pema Pera: the second part is the important part
    IM: Dakini Rhode: lol well i got that one down
    IM: Dakini Rhode: and at least i recognize my insecurity
    IM: Pema Pera: yes, and believe me or not there are situations where I lose my security too . . . .
    IM: Dakini Rhode: :-)

    As is common in SL, while I was chatting with Dakini, during the gaps while waiting for her responses, I was involved with another IM, with Jobe, whom I had met two weeks earlier, but hadn’t seen since then. Last evening I had sent her the following

    IM: Pema Pera: Hi Jobe! How is life? Could I possibly tempt you to join us during one of our daily tea times in the tea house? It would be great to have you there as well, whenever it is convenient for you!

    But when I had sent that, Jobe was not on-line. As chance would have it, she had come online now, saw my IM and responded, just while I was talking with Dakini. Here is our parallel conversation:

    IM: Jobe Nurmi: Thank you so much! I will certainly try! I have been trying to “play at being”. but I do not have the depth yet that most of you have. I will keep at it, however, and join you when I can. Your personal invitation is very much appreciated!
    IM: Pema Pera: hey, there is no starting level needed! Why don’t you come right on over ;>)
    IM: Pema Pera: I’m here by myself with an empty tea house
    IM: Pema Pera: I’m serious
    IM: Jobe Nurmi: Pema, something you must know about me, I am a bit shy, if you haven’t figured that out! LOL! I will. Can you TP me please?

    At this moment the tea house was indeed still empty, and I was under the impression that Dakini was just passing by and was not planning to stay.
    And then, just while I clicked the tp button, Sky dropped out of the sky, followed in a split second by Jobe.

    Dakini Rhode: hello Sky!
    Pema Pera: Hi Sky!
    Pema Pera: And hi Jobe!
    Sky Szimmer: hi Pema
    Dakini Rhode: and Jobe!
    Pema Pera: Dakini, wanna join us too?
    Sky Szimmer: Hi Dakini, it is nice to meet you finally
    Pema Pera: One moment the tea house is empty
    Sky Szimmer: Hi Jobe
    Pema Pera: and the next moment everyone drops in all at once
    Pema Pera: how nice!
    Jobe Nurmi: Hello ! All of you dear people!
    Dakini Rhode: Jobe it’s so nice to see you here
    Pema Pera: yes, Jobe, I was the only one when I started talking with you on IM ;>)
    Pema Pera: let’s have some tea
    Jobe Nurmi: hehehe!
    Jobe Nurmi: Hi Sky, we haven’t met.
    Jobe Nurmi: It is nice to meet you!
    Sky Szimmer: Hi Jobe,

    Jobe had met Dakini before, but not Sky, and also Sky and Dakini had not met yet, I realized. Yet they knew quite a bit about each other, through this very blog you are reading now (^_^). Ah, I thought, Dakini is a night owl in SL and Sky comes in mostly in the morning or in the early afternoon.

    Jobe Nurmi: And Dakini, it is ALWAYS wonderful to see you!
    Sky Szimmer: it is nice to meet you. I like your SL look.
    Dakini Rhode: and vice versa
    Sky Szimmer: haha.
    Sky Szimmer: yes. I am a badly dressed fox.
    Jobe Nurmi: Oh thank you so much!
    Jobe Nurmi: wonderful!

    I had gone ahead, and sat down in the tea room, while the others strolled in one by one. There was quite a bit of lag, so there was some tumbling and stumbling going on.

    Dakini Rhode: lol i’m trying to line up to the door
    Sky Szimmer: jobe, let’s join everyone
    Pema Pera: Hi again Sky
    Pema Pera: How’s Marco?
    Pema Pera: So nice to have you here Jobe!
    Sky Szimmer: Hi Pema, Just wanted to say it was great chatting with you in RL the other day. Thank you again for the book!
    Jobe Nurmi: SO nice of you to invite me!!!
    Pema Pera: oh sure, thank you for coming here so regularly, Sky
    Pema Pera: and thank you, Jobe for coming over — I had been waiting patiently but this morning my patience ran out, hehe
    Pema Pera: And Dakini, so nice to start talking with you, just now
    Pema Pera: Dakini and I talked about insecurity
    Jobe Nurmi: Good! Because I hadn’t thought of coming until I heard from you.
    Pema Pera: and I was about to say that I have learned to feel insecure in a secure-enough way
    Sky Szimmer: please say more about that
    Pema Pera: well, Jobe, by Jove, I’m glad I IMed!!
    Pema Pera: well, Sky, what did we say, Dakini?
    Jobe Nurmi: As I mention to you, Pema, I am very shy, which really is insecurity
    Jobe Nurmi: In security in some ways is very painful
    Jobe Nurmi: Samsaric really!
    Dakini Rhode: After Pema described his houghts on Being to me yesterday…
    Dakini Rhode: I had the impression Pema is secure in his grounding in Being
    Dakini Rhode: Whereas for myself, i feel somewhat insecure in that -
    Dakini Rhode: but maybe not really now that i think about it
    Jobe Nurmi: can you tell us, Dakini?
    Sky Szimmer: i do share in your sentiment Dakini, although, then when I think about it, there is nothing to be insecure about
    Dakini Rhode: in moments of utter crisis, i think i am most in touch with Being
    Sky Szimmer: that is great.
    Sky Szimmer: I am rather the opposite
    Sky Szimmer: which is most unfortunate for me.
    Sky Szimmer: sorry jobe, i hope i didn’t interrupt your train of thought
    Jobe Nurmi: Me too, Sky. That is when I feel the most away from being!
    Dakini Rhode: when everything else is stripped away, Being is what’s left
    Jobe Nurmi: I feel shattered and scattered
    Jobe Nurmi: I see
    Jobe Nurmi: for me it has to be REALLY bad to get it all stripped away
    Jobe Nurmi: that is rock bottom for me
    Jobe Nurmi: not just the regular crisis

    Dakini continued, and talked about her experience in a very serious accident.

    Dakini Rhode: i think i may have been talking about rock bottom
    Jobe Nurmi: Oh yes, I understand more now
    Dakini Rhode: lol not just your normal crisis
    Jobe Nurmi: That is true for me as well.
    Jobe Nurmi: I then just let everything go and just be
    Dakini Rhode: I’m thinking of a time when I had an accident with my car
    Dakini Rhode: And my thought (quite calm) was, am i dead?
    Dakini Rhode: then i analyzed the situation and realized i could hear myself breathing
    Dakini Rhode: so i could not be dead
    Dakini Rhode: i felt quite calm actually
    Jobe Nurmi: OH what a profound experience!
    Dakini Rhode: well that is sort of a rock bottom situation
    Sky Szimmer: that would be a big one. : )
    Jobe Nurmi: oh my yes!
    Jobe Nurmi: I have not experienced anything like that.
    Dakini Rhode: lucky!
    Sky Szimmer: Pema wrote: have learned to feel insecure in a secure-enough way
    Sky Szimmer: do you mind saying a bit more about that? I’d like that
    Pema Pera: Well, Dakini and I were just talking about how we really don’t know what we are doing — independently we told each other that
    Pema Pera: Quite funny in itself but it really is true
    Pema Pera: we both know that and recognized it in ourselves as well as in each other
    Dakini Rhode: oh, very true
    Dakini Rhode: and yet somehow we do things anyway
    Jobe Nurmi: Do any of us really know what we are doing?
    Pema Pera: but then Dakini said something like she had the impression that I felt so secure in that
    Pema Pera: yes, Jobe
    Pema Pera: I mean no
    Pema Pera: haha
    Pema Pera: but to admit that to others is hard
    Jobe Nurmi: hahaha
    Pema Pera: and to admit that to ourselves is even harder
    Jobe Nurmi: I seemed to admit it to myself daily.
    Pema Pera: and then Dakini said that she did not feel quite so secure herself
    Pema Pera: that’s wonderful, Jobe!!!
    Jobe Nurmi: It is harder to admit it to others
    Sky Szimmer: yes indeed Jobe
    Pema Pera: oh, but knowing it for yourself is the start
    Pema Pera: the base
    Jobe Nurmi: I guess
    Pema Pera: being willing to admit, to see, to recognize
    Pema Pera: I’m so glad to hear that
    Dakini Rhode: I think that my career has been a good training — everything we do, it’s for the first time so obviously we never know what we’re doing
    Pema Pera: it took me a long time . . . .
    Dakini Rhode: and people always ask me questions, seeking guidance, and somehow i provide that
    Sky Szimmer: yes. recently i have been thinking of that too

    At this point I remembered our conversation yesterday afternoon, in which Dakini had gently rebuked me a few times for not coming out of my own turtle shell.

    Pema Pera: so, Sky, to answer your question (and to avoid Dakini telling me again that I avoid answering questions, hahaha):
    Dakini Rhode: haha
    Pema Pera: when Dakini and I agree that we both had no idea what we were doing,
    Pema Pera: and she thought I was secure and she wasn’t quite
    Dakini Rhode: :-)
    Pema Pera: I realized that the difference wasn’t so much that
    Jobe Nurmi: This is so wonderful to hear from you all!
    Pema Pera: but that we both were in the process of learning to be secure with our insecurity
    Pema Pera: like a child with a mother
    Pema Pera: the child cannot possibly know what needs to happen
    Pema Pera: or will happen
    Pema Pera: has no idea at all of the complexities of the world
    Pema Pera: yet can feel secure
    Jobe Nurmi: I have the deepest respect for you and to know you feel insecure makes me feel more secure! Funny that!
    Sky Szimmer: so faith has a lot to do with it?
    Pema Pera: well
    Dakini Rhode: good thinkg the child doesn’t know the mother is insecure too
    Pema Pera: hahahaha
    Pema Pera: yes
    Sky Szimmer: : )
    Pema Pera: true for CEOs in a startup too, by the way
    Dakini Rhode: actually i feel like a motherless child at times
    Sky Szimmer: oh?
    Sky Szimmer: please say more

    In the mean time, I had gotten involved with another brief IM, this time with stevenaia, whom I had met only once in SL more than a month ago, though we had had a few IM exchanges since then. He IMed me, and I asked him to join us:

    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: good morning Pema
    IM: Pema Pera: We’re having a nice meeting with a group of friends
    IM: Pema Pera: wanna join us?
    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: sure
    IM: Pema Pera: diverse bunch, very informal, I’ll tp you
    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: ok

    After stevenaia had began to materialize, he too noticed that there was a lot of lag today. As we all often do, he at first forgot to switch from our IM window to the local chat window — I seem to do that too, at least once a day :-).

    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: hello, one moment while I rezzz, so I don;t step on nayone
    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: good day to you all
    IM: Pema Pera: wrong window;>)
    IM: stevenaia Michinaga: thx
    IM: Pema Pera: sorry to drop you in the middle, but this is such a wonderful conversation, you’ll love it
    IM: Pema Pera: you’ll get the idea in a couple minutes

    The conversation continued.

    Pema Pera: Hi Steve, welcome!
    Pema Pera: please sit down and join us!
    Dakini Rhode: not knowing and nowhere to get answers but inside self
    Sky Szimmer: Hi Steve
    Pema Pera: We’re in the middle of a conversation about insecurity
    Dakini Rhode: Hi Steve
    Pema Pera: so if you don’t mind, let me postpone the introductions
    Sky Szimmer: ah! Dakini.
    Pema Pera: we can do that in a little while
    Jobe Nurmi: You are such a wonderful person, Dakini!
    Jobe Nurmi: I admire you so much.
    stevenaia Michinaga: good day all
    Jobe Nurmi: But I know that helps nothing really
    Jobe Nurmi: Good day!

    It seemed that Sky had interpreted Jobe’s greeting to Steve as a signal that she had to go :-), one of the fun ambiguities in SL, with less body language than in RL.

    Sky Szimmer: Oh, I am sorry you can
    Sky Szimmer: can’t stay
    Dakini Rhode: thank you so much Jobe and actually I think this is just the human condition
    Jobe Nurmi: It is, but maybe we can overcome some of it.
    Dakini Rhode: we are in a very insecure position as human bodies
    stevenaia Michinaga: so much for being done rezzing, so sorry
    stevenaia Michinaga: sky
    Pema Pera: np, Steve!
    Jobe Nurmi: We are fragile indeed.
    Dakini Rhode: lol Steve SL is very laggy
    Pema Pera: SL is slow these days
    Pema Pera: if I may come back to the image
    Pema Pera: of a mother and a child
    Pema Pera: those images are only approximations
    Pema Pera: and in real life of course a child can lose a mother . . .
    Pema Pera: or the mother may be too insecure in practice, for whatever reason to give the child what is needed . . .
    Pema Pera: there the image fails
    Pema Pera: but when we talked about security, Dakini and I, in what we are trying to do here,
    Jobe Nurmi: I lost mine to alcoholism at a very early age.
    Pema Pera: with what I like to call Being
    Pema Pera: oh, Jobe . . . .
    Pema Pera: I was refering to something you are, not have
    Pema Pera: and what you are you can’t lose
    Jobe Nurmi: I see
    Pema Pera: only what you have . . . .
    Dakini Rhode: that’s sad Jobe
    Jobe Nurmi: oh yes
    Pema Pera: that is the ultimate security
    Pema Pera: Sorry to hear that, Jobe!
    Pema Pera: that must have been so hard to deal with as a child . . . .
    Jobe Nurmi: It was my Karma
    Jobe Nurmi: I am sure
    Jobe Nurmi: I learned a great deal
    Jobe Nurmi: I am grateful for the learning
    Jobe Nurmi: We ALL have many things that are hard to deal with
    Jobe Nurmi: mine sometimes is just at little more dramatic that’s all
    Dakini Rhode: Pema can you say more about this ?
    Pema Pera: about being vs. having?
    Dakini Rhode: being…. having…. doing let’s not forget doing
    Pema Pera: yes, doing, but without me doing it, as you expressed it so wonderfully yesterday
    Pema Pera: when you said that Dakini has to step aside
    Pema Pera: and I said the same about Pema
    Pema Pera: the more we learn to see, really see, what we are doing
    Pema Pera: that we are doing
    Pema Pera: we can also learn to step aside more effectively
    Pema Pera: that’s the not-doing, in Chinese wu-wei, that we’ve talked about before here
    Dakini Rhode: the very best way that nothing can be accomplished
    Pema Pera: yes

    I then remembered that Dakini wouldn’t let me off the hook with her question, so I returned to it.

    Pema Pera: and to answer your question
    Pema Pera: (no escape from you anymore ;>)
    Pema Pera: it is a kind of logical devotion for me
    Dakini Rhode: you are making me giggle
    Pema Pera: or devotional logic
    Pema Pera: feels like pure devotion
    Pema Pera: like faith
    Pema Pera: and yet pure logic
    Pema Pera: like math
    Jobe Nurmi: I like that, Pema!
    Pema Pera: open-eyes faith, not blind faith
    Dakini Rhode: so both logically and … hmmm what would be the other dimension…. it seems correct to you
    Sky Szimmer: logical devotion
    Dakini Rhode: intuitively?
    Pema Pera: yes that too
    Pema Pera: the security is in the logic
    Dakini Rhode: logically and intuitively it seems right?

    At this point I had tp-ed Caledonia over, after she and I had also conducted a brief IM conversation. Thus we got a full house, with all six available seats filled up.

    Pema Pera: Hi Caledonia!
    Sky Szimmer: hi Cal!
    Pema Pera: last cushion left!
    Sky Szimmer: devotion to what? if I may ask
    Caledonia Heron: oops, sorry to fall on you! Hi Everyone
    Sky Szimmer: full house today!
    Pema Pera: Cal, if you don’t mind, we’re in the middle of such an interesting conversation
    Pema Pera: so let us postpone introductions
    Pema Pera: Sky,
    Pema Pera: devotion
    Caledonia Heron: it’s fine - please continue
    Dakini Rhode: Hello Cal!
    Pema Pera: is what I feel to Being
    Pema Pera: so very deeply
    Pema Pera: that I can’t begin to put it in words
    Caledonia Heron whispers hi Dakini :)
    Pema Pera: crying would seem more appropriate . . . .
    Pema Pera: . . . . or laughing, same thing
    Pema Pera: but the base
    Pema Pera: what makes me secure
    Pema Pera: and what makes me certain that it is not just an emotional or sentimental thing
    Pema Pera: has to do with that logic
    Pema Pera: of dropping all that you have
    Pema Pera: or at least to begin to see
    Pema Pera: how to drop
    Pema Pera: and to be left with what you are.
    Sky Szimmer: thank you for that description!
    Dakini Rhode is just sitting here in awe - i can feel that at my heat, Pema
    Sky Szimmer: deeply devoted to being
    Dakini Rhode: lol heart
    Pema Pera: it’s a hot adventure, Dakini, hehehe
    Dakini Rhode: HEART! HEART!
    Dakini Rhode: haha
    Pema Pera: heart sutra
    stevenaia Michinaga: we are speaking of self devotion?… needing clearity
    Dakini Rhode: you gotta have heart (or heat, whatever)
    Pema Pera: the first time I heard it I cried, in a group, felt delighted and puzzled and shy . . . .
    Pema Pera: devotion that appears naturally when you begin to drop self, Steve
    Pema Pera: is that what you meant too?
    Sky Szimmer: that answers alot for me about why Pema is secure in his grounding in Being

    Most of the time I try not to dominate the conversation, something that would be easy to do, given that I am organizing these gettogethers, but prodded by Dakini, I just continued.

    Dakini Rhode: what part is it, Pema - no self, no other than self?
    Pema Pera: beyond self and no self
    Pema Pera: the beauty of Being is
    Pema Pera: that it is beyond all polarities
    Pema Pera: that’s the Heart Sutra
    Pema Pera: the first time I heard the Heart Sutra
    Pema Pera: I was 19
    Pema Pera: as soon as I heard the words “Avalokiteshvara”
    Pema Pera: and what followed,
    Pema Pera: I started to cry
    Pema Pera: I s’pose there is karma involved
    Pema Pera: but that’s not important
    Pema Pera: nothing to worry about or analyze per se
    Dakini Rhode: this is a memory which you carried in your mindstream
    Pema Pera: what you do with it then — or really what IT does with you is what counts
    Pema Pera: what you let IT do with you
    Pema Pera: and yet there is the logic too!
    Pema Pera: very powerful logic
    Jobe Nurmi: It is important to share those personal experiences.
    Jobe Nurmi: It helps clarify
    Dakini Rhode: this helps me so to understand where you ‘re coming from, Pema
    Jobe Nurmi: and grounds it from just being in the intellect
    Dakini Rhode: to know you’re taking this PaB journey with us
    Pema Pera: so Jobe I was so happy coming here, with Dakini not knowing what she was doing and Storm communing with our good friend Av — Avalokiteshvara
    Dakini Rhode: :-)
    Sky Szimmer: logic? pema. is this the same as what you were saying earlier
    Pema Pera: Quan Yin
    Pema Pera: yes
    Dakini Rhode: ues
    Pema Pera: oui
    Pema Pera: the logic of dropping what you have
    Pema Pera: and seeing what you are
    Pema Pera: it is sooooooooooo simple
    Pema Pera: but somehow
    Jobe Nurmi: logically it is simple
    Pema Pera: we first have to learn to see through our own complexities . . . .
    Pema Pera: yes, Jobe
    Jobe Nurmi: but the heart need to be taught
    Pema Pera: and that’s why we’re here ;>)
    Pema Pera: to help each other learn
    Jobe Nurmi: yes
    Pema Pera: and to help ourselves that way
    Pema Pera: the heart already knows, Jobe, it’s the rest that tends to crowd it out and not take it seriously
    Jobe Nurmi: true!

    Sky then hit the nail on its head with her summary.

    Sky Szimmer: so devotion to being allows one to be secure in insecurity, of not knowing what “we” are doing
    Pema Pera: devotion to and devotion AS Being
    Pema Pera: not external from us
    Pema Pera: we ARE IT already
    Jobe Nurmi: Devotion helps us be comfortable with our own humanity, I think!
    Dakini Rhode: faith, devotion, surrender…
    Pema Pera: and beyond
    Pema Pera: beyond even humanity
    Pema Pera: to Being
    Pema Pera: very odd
    Sky Szimmer: how beyond?
    Pema Pera: being human
    Pema Pera: is still a particular form of Being
    Sky Szimmer: how is this known
    Pema Pera: a role we play here in this realm we find ourselves
    Pema Pera: wonderful play, sometimes
    Pema Pera: terrible play, sometimes
    Jobe Nurmi: indeed
    Pema Pera: but still what we have
    Pema Pera: not what we are . . . .
    Pema Pera: knowing that, we can be secure
    Dakini Rhode: from the heart sutra again - gone, gone beyoned, gone utterly beyond..
    Pema Pera: in living and dying
    Pema Pera: yeah, Dakini, there we go ;>)
    Pema Pera: go totally
    Sky Szimmer: yes. so it is written
    Sky Szimmer: but how to know, to really know beyond
    Sky Szimmer: for me, i am secure in the being
    Sky Szimmer: but i am not certain of beyond
    Dakini Rhode: )(sorry)
    Pema Pera: hahaha
    Pema Pera: thanks, Dakini

    I really had to chuckle at Dakini’s enthusiasm, she normally not being someone to shout :-)

    Sky Szimmer: i have faith in what is written in the heart sutra but no security
    Sky Szimmer: in saying i understand beyond
    Pema Pera: so we learn to see, Sky
    Dakini Rhode: Sky, I think that is similar to what I was saying to Pema
    Pema Pera: and then faith becomes seeing
    Dakini Rhode: And Pema seems so grounded
    Pema Pera: but even before seeing
    Pema Pera: we can already be secure
    Pema Pera: very odd
    Pema Pera: but that’s the logic of Being . . . .
    Sky Szimmer: yes i understand that part
    Sky Szimmer: but that still doesn’t explain seeing beyond
    Pema Pera: beyond humanity
    Pema Pera: beyond beings
    Pema Pera: to see Being
    Pema Pera: or feel Being
    Pema Pera: is limited
    Pema Pera: but to be Being
    Pema Pera: that’s the point
    Pema Pera: and we are that already and in a very strange way we know it already
    Pema Pera: that’s the strangest thing
    Sky Szimmer: i guess i am trying to capture beyond and that is not possible
    Dakini Rhode: I better be Being because otherwise I am sitting in my jammies with my hair sticking straight up
    Sky Szimmer: ok. i understand your point.
    Pema Pera: any great teacher of the past made that a central point, saying: how odd, I saw it all along but did not recognize it
    Pema Pera: lol, Dakini!
    Dakini Rhode: ah

    I turned to Steve and Cal who in that order had dropped in, in the middle of our conversation, and I was not sure how much sense it made without the background.

    Pema Pera: oh, Steve and Cal
    Pema Pera: please feel free to join the banter
    Pema Pera: sorry to leave you out
    Caledonia Heron: listening
    Caledonia Heron: not left out, right here
    Caledonia Heron: with you all
    Dakini Rhode: very profound teaching going on here this morning
    stevenaia Michinaga: waiting to mentally sync with the conversation
    Dakini Rhode: i just erased sorry
    Pema Pera: thanks, Cal!
    stevenaia Michinaga: it could take a number of sessions…smile
    Pema Pera: each session here is soooo different ;>)
    stevenaia Michinaga: no problem

    I then segwayed:

    Pema Pera: so
    Pema Pera: now Dakini erased sorry
    Pema Pera: and Cal erased left out
    Dakini Rhode: i forget what i typed that i erased
    Pema Pera: so in “sorry to leave you out”
    Pema Pera: we now have to leave out the “you” haha

    This harked back to me telling Steve and Cal “sorry to leave you out”, after which Cal said that she didn’t feel left out and Dakini had made a remark about her lag and probably being sorry about making typing gestures while erasing something — mentioning that in order not to let us wait in vain for her; but I turned into into a joke (sometimes my jokes are a bit too complicated ;>).

    Sky Szimmer: when you wrote beyond life and death. how is one so certain?
    Dakini Rhode: haha
    Dakini Rhode: i wonder if we need to be certain
    Jobe Nurmi: Can we be certain?
    Dakini Rhode: although i have some faith in beyond this life
    Sky Szimmer: well, if one is not certain, then it seems to me that one hasn’t fully undertood
    Pema Pera: life and death are just some of the polarities, that Being goes beyond — IS beyond, so they can’t bite . . . .
    Pema Pera: as Being there is no problem
    Jobe Nurmi: Oh, interesting, Sky.
    Jobe Nurmi: Maybe there are degrees of certainty
    Sky Szimmer: for me, i can’t grasp IS beyond, so they can’t bite . . .
    Sky Szimmer: it seems to me Pema is certain
    Dakini Rhode: I think… in one moment of certainty, I am very certain… then, i forget
    Dakini Rhode: and remember, and forget, ad infinitum
    Jobe Nurmi: me too, Dakini
    Jobe Nurmi: it fluctuates
    Dakini Rhode: although by practicing, there is more remembering
    Jobe Nurmi: yes, like going home for a while and remembering
    Pema Pera: Pema as a human being is very vulnerable and uncertain, and so is his typist ;>) But whenever he remembers that he is just a role that Being plays, both Pema and Piet smile, and know they can relax, enjoy, and then really take up the responsibility to play the role as well as they can . . . .
    Sky Szimmer: afterall the notion of death creates insecurity. so not to fully understand Being and death, there is always left insecurity
    Dakini Rhode: yes
    Pema Pera: yes
    Pema Pera: death, were is thy sting?
    Pema Pera: beautiful bible sentence
    Pema Pera: means Being
    Sky Szimmer: what means being
    Pema Pera: when you realize Being, death has no sting
    Pema Pera: movies and dreams don’t have stings
    Pema Pera: but portray stings
    Pema Pera: sometimes very very scary stings
    Pema Pera: very exciting!

    Jobe and Dakini picked up the image.

    Jobe Nurmi: many times when the ego is pierced, it stings
    Jobe Nurmi: if you are coming from the ego
    Pema Pera: yes!
    Jobe Nurmi: that is when I feel the sting most
    Jobe Nurmi: when my “ego” is shattered
    Jobe Nurmi: ick
    Dakini Rhode: like a hot plate, it stings until you let go
    Jobe Nurmi: fabulous analogy!
    Dakini Rhode: then you go, why was i holding onto that thing?
    Jobe Nurmi: absolutely!
    Jobe Nurmi: It is such a relief to let go
    Jobe Nurmi: and yet we hang on for dear life
    Jobe Nurmi: sometimes it seems crazy
    Jobe Nurmi: maybe it is!
    Dakini Rhode: definition of insanity
    Dakini Rhode: haha
    Jobe Nurmi: sure!
    Jobe Nurmi: Being is without ego, right?
    Pema Pera: Being is without anything
    Jobe Nurmi: oh
    Pema Pera: no haves only IS
    Pema Pera: but not negative
    Pema Pera: it is what allows all haves
    Pema Pera: the most positive possible
    Pema Pera: semblance of ego, yes
    Pema Pera: semblance of all kinds of things
    Pema Pera: all very paradoxical
    Pema Pera: when put in words
    Jobe Nurmi: Some of us less evolved humans think ego is everything. That “I” am everything.
    Pema Pera: so yes, Jobe, sorry: without ego too!
    Pema Pera: we all act that way . . . habitually
    Jobe Nurmi: So being without ego is to be without anything.

    Yes indeed. And without any thing we can be open to Being, and be Being. I might have added that, but the conversation continued in another direction, which was fine too.

    Sky Szimmer: Pema, thank you for your explanation. I appreciate the understanding. I feel like in today’s discussion i was given a key to become more grounded in the being…”logical devotion”
    Pema Pera: thanks, Sky, our talk in RL helped a lot, the other day
    Pema Pera: for me to see what I was trying to do (or Being was, hehe)
    Sky Szimmer: yes most definitely
    Sky Szimmer: your question “are your experiences outside of you” was very useful
    Sky Szimmer: thanks.
    Pema Pera: can you remind me?
    Sky Szimmer: may take too long.
    Sky Szimmer: we were talking about “I am”
    Pema Pera: yes?
    Sky Szimmer: You were just asking me if my experiences are apart from the “am”
    Sky Szimmer: it just gave me a reminder that was quite powerful
    Pema Pera: it was powerful for me too. I saw your anguish, that you really wanted me to tell you “what it was all about” that I was trying to do — and I couldn’t — I really wanted to — but I couldn’t — at that point more than ever before did it sink in that it is utterly impossible to define or explain Being . . . . . .
    Pema Pera: thank you, Sky!
    Sky Szimmer: oh great!
    Pema Pera: And thank you, everybody!!
    Jobe Nurmi: Thank you!
    Dakini Rhode: but you can do this, Pema - you can point out the nature of being, and you can get us to practice
    Pema Pera: not me Dakini, but thanks, that’s very kind of you
    Pema Pera: What a wonderful way to start our weekend
    Sky Szimmer: this has been a wonderful discussion this morning
    Jobe Nurmi: Thank you all!
    Sky Szimmer: thank you Dakini for making the teahouse possible
    stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for the invite, Pema
    Dakini Rhode: i feel like i’ve been sitting in a littl old teahouse taking abou thte secrets of life, the univers, and everything
    stevenaia Michinaga: and for the lovely tea house
    Caledonia Heron: yes thanks, I’ll try not to talk so much next time
    Dakini Rhode: it’s my honor
    Sky Szimmer: : ) Cal!
    Dakini Rhode: haha Cal

    That sounded really funny, given that Cal had hardly talked at all :-). Perhaps she refered to previous time, or perhaps we was just making fun.

    Pema Pera: Steve and Cal, in a few hours I will post the conversation on the web, http://playasbeing.wordpress.com/ so you can see what went before
    Jobe Nurmi: funny Cal!
    Dakini Rhode: this one HAS to go up there
    Caledonia Heron: content to listen today :) thanks
    stevenaia Michinaga: I just joined the group, looking forward to future conversations
    Pema Pera: Steve, okay to mention you by SL name on my blog?
    Pema Pera: I always ask permission first
    stevenaia Michinaga: sure
    Jobe Nurmi: Namaste all!
    Pema Pera: welcome to drop by Steve and Jobe
    Pema Pera: we’re here every 6 hours ;>)
    Pema Pera: thanks, Jobe!
    Pema Pera: Namaste
    Jobe Nurmi: Thank YOU!
    Dakini Rhode: Namaste and hugs!
    Pema Pera: indeed!
    Sky Szimmer: Good day.
    Dakini Rhode: Namaste

    One by one everybody left, and Steve and I were the last one remaining in the tea house.

    Pema Pera: Thanks for jumping into the middle of this, Steve!
    Pema Pera: Must have been a bit odd
    Pema Pera: ;>)
    stevenaia Michinaga: nice to meet you Dakini
    Pema Pera: Dakini here is the one who built this house
    Pema Pera: tea house
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, I saw
    stevenaia Michinaga: read, rather
    Pema Pera: haha

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