Page last modified 22:16, 19 Jul 2014 by Bruce Mowbray
2014.07.19 13:00 - "I can use some friendly company"
Table of contents
No headersThe Guardian for this meeting was Bruce Mowbray. The comments are by Bruce Mowbray.
As will soon become clear, Wester is dealing with uncertainties regarding her eight-year-old son's health.
Bruce Mowbray: Hi, Wester!
Wester Kiranov: hi bruce
Wester Kiranov: How are you doing?
Bruce Mowbray: I am now informed that I need to create a "bridge..."
Bruce Mowbray: There!
Bruce Mowbray: just a sec, please.
Bruce Mowbray: I'm doing quite well today, thank you. And you?
Wester Kiranov: I’m ok, but i'm dealing with some very bad news about my son.
Wester Kiranov: So I can use some friendly company
--BELL--
Bruce Mowbray: It seems that SL picked the worst possible moment to kick me out of its world.. So, unfortunately, I missed everything you just typed. Please forgive me, but would you mind typing it again...?
Wester Kiranov: That's OK.
Bruce Mowbray: I'm sorry.
Wester Kiranov: I said I’m ok myself, but I got some bad news about my son's health recently
Bruce Mowbray listens very carefully.
Wester Kiranov: He very probably has a muscle disease
Wester Kiranov: It has really turned my world upside down
Bruce Mowbray: I would THINK so!
Wester Kiranov: Athough things are shifting back into a new kind of normality
Bruce Mowbray: (I apologize for the lag in my responses... Some of what I type is not in the proper order -- and takes up to 25 seconds to register in the chat window.)
Wester Kiranov: I had figured there might be some kind of lag
Bruce Mowbray: nods.
Bruce Mowbray: but, please, if I might ask,
Bruce Mowbray: How old is your son?
Wester Kiranov: just turned 8
Bruce Mowbray: oh my.
Bruce Mowbray: So, I guess my "real" question is, How is HE dealing with this ?
Wester Kiranov: We haven't told him the full story yet - he knows that something is wrong with his muscles and that the doctors are going to find out more about it
Wester Kiranov: I guess the rest will come out bit by bit
Bruce Mowbray: nods, listens.
Wester Kiranov: We are going to have a full day of examinations next Tuesday - that should also narrow down the wide possible range of seriousness of the disease
Bruce Mowbray: I'm thinking that
Bruce Mowbray: It must be rough not knowing the details....
Bruce Mowbray: (sry - I have a band-aid on one finger that seems to mess up my spellings.)
Wester Kiranov: Actually, we are really trying to not get too much information on the details until we have a better idea of what exactly it is
Bruce Mowbray understands.
Wester Kiranov: They know his muscles are breaking down way faster than they should, but they don't know what caused it or what the damage so far is
Bruce Mowbray: nods.
--BELL--
Bruce Mowbray: I hate to seem patronizing,
Bruce Mowbray: but this gentleman-speaker is amazing..
Bruce Mowbray: He writes and speaks about exceptional children...
Bruce Mowbray: and the challenges of raising them...
Bruce Mowbray: I will give you a link to peruse at your leisure:
Bruce Mowbray: https://www.google.com/#q=Andrew+Solomon+TED+talks&safe=off
Bruce Mowbray: The "Love, no matter what" talk is about the challenges of raising children with acute challenges.
Bruce Mowbray: Andrew helped ME a whole lot, actually.
Wester Kiranov: I think I have seen one of his talks already, but I don't remember much except it was a good talk - It kept going deeper in places where you wouldn’t expect it
Bruce Mowbray: Indeed.
Bruce Mowbray: Aphrodite recommended one of his talks to me,
Bruce Mowbray: (His other talks are similarly inspired.)
Bruce Mowbray: and just this morning I presented that video - that Aph recommended - to a group that I belong to in Circleville, Ohio.
Bruce Mowbray: (out of order again, alas.)
Wester Kiranov: but this problem isn't acute yet. my son is not ill at the moment, but he is never going to be as healthy as iIthought he would be
Bruce Mowbray: I am so sorry, Wester.
Wester Kiranov: The strange thing is that the base point really changes
Bruce Mowbray: nods and listens carefully.
Wester Kiranov: It would now be good news if he stays out of a wheelchair until he's 30, for instance
Bruce Mowbray: nods.
Wester Kiranov: While a month ago, it would have been really bad news if he would be in a wheelchair when he was 30
Bruce Mowbray: (My typist was fortunate enough to stay out of wheelchairs until he was about 70.)
Bruce Mowbray: nods, understands the shifting base-line.
Wester Kiranov: :)
Bruce Mowbray: So, are you wanting more information...? Or, are you dreading it....? Or, are you preparing yourself for whatever comes? Or, maybe all three?
Wester Kiranov: There is nothing we can do to change the outcome anyway. I do want to know more.
Wester Kiranov: brb. phone
Bruce Mowbray: np.
Bruce Mowbray: take your time, please.
--BELL--
Qt Core: Hi Wester, Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: Hello, Qt.
Wester Kiranov: hi qt
Bruce Mowbray: Please do continue with your phone chat, if you wish to, Wester.
Wester Kiranov: no, I’m finished
Bruce Mowbray: OK. I have briefly explained to Qt about your son's condition.
Wester Kiranov: ok. thanks
Bruce Mowbray: and that you're awaiting more tests and information,
Bruce Mowbray: But I didn't tell Qt that your son is just 8.. and will have more tests this coming Tuesday.
Wester Kiranov: The absurd thing is that nothing has really changed, and yet everything looks different
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmm.
Bruce Mowbray: So, the parameters of your "world" are different, even though the appearances are the same?
Bruce Mowbray: I might better have said "perceptual frameworks" of your world.....
Wester Kiranov ponders the parameters –
Bruce Mowbray: me too, Wester. . . . pondering the parameters.....
Wester Kiranov: 'perceptual frameworks' fits better
Bruce Mowbray: nods.
Bruce Mowbray wonders why what his typist types takes 30 secs or more to appear in chat box.
Bruce Mowbray: (Maybe SL is trying to SLOW HIM DOWN.....)
Bruce Mowbray: Well, Wester, and again, I do NOT mean to be patronizing...
Bruce Mowbray: but, prepare yourself to grow.....
Wester Kiranov: I feel free to ignore all your suggestions, so don't worry about patronizing
Bruce Mowbray: ***** APPLAUSE! *****
Bruce Mowbray: Wonderful!
Bruce Mowbray: Your dearest friend might feel helpless, you know.
Bruce Mowbray: An awkward position to be in, but you don't need to take care of him/her --- only understand that he/she wants to help but may not know how.
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps just being there and listening will be enough.....
Bruce Mowbray: (and caring, of course.)
Wester Kiranov: I do think the power of "just" being there and listening is vastly underestimated
Bruce Mowbray: nods!!! and nods and nods.
Qt Core: agreed
Bruce Mowbray: I am sorry about this, but RL is calling me very loudly right now, so I'm going to have to leave at the top of the hour.
Bruce Mowbray: I wish you and your son and your whole family the very best, good Wester.
--BELL--
Bruce Mowbray: Your son is most fortunate to have you for a parent ----.
Bruce Mowbray: Bye for now, then.
Wester Kiranov: bye Bruce, see you around
Bruce Mowbray: Bye for now, good people.
Qt Core: bye Bruce
Wester Kiranov: I think I will go get some sleep now.
Wester Kiranov: bye
Qt Core: bye Wester best wishes
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(((Wester))) Hard enough when oneself (as with the meningitis), but harder when a/your child. Wishing you well, and good news/helpful people about. edited 22:56, 19 Jul 2014