2008.05.02 07:00 - Following the river

The guardian for this meeting was Pema Pera and the comments are his.

Maxine and I met at the tea house, at the hour, 7 am SLT sharp.

Maxine Walden: morning, Pema, busy time!
Pema Pera: Hi Maxine
Pema Pera: yes, I’m very busy indeed — you too?
Maxine Walden: probably not as busy as you are right now, but plenty busy evenso.
Pema Pera: I’ve never been as busy as I’ve been the last few weeks . . . but since I’m enjoying it so much, I just seem to keep going. Another night of four hours sleep . . . but I do look forward to catching up on sleep soon, hopefully next week when I’m in Japan.
Maxine Walden: yes, I can imagine that there has been so much coming your way…coming into the SL but RL space as well…
Maxine Walden: impinging on nearly all the waking hours…
Pema Pera: yes, but there is a bright side too ;>)
Pema Pera: In this way I am learning to be very efficient
Pema Pera: I could easily have spend three or four times more time on anything I’m doing now
Pema Pera: but circumstances just force me to be hyper-efficient
Maxine Walden: oh, I am sure, very much so…just trying to appreciate…oh, yes, efficiency, interesting how efficient we can become…and priorities can become clear as well, ie how much time for each thing
Pema Pera: It is fun to watch myself, in a bit of a detached mode, doing this
Maxine Walden: interesting to watch yourself…becoming so efficient, zooming through things
Maxine Walden: and what priority things take on when time is so precious
Pema Pera: yes indeed. And there are two sides to it.
Pema Pera: On the one hand, I feel I’m learning to become better at triage, at deciding what to do next of all the things that cry out for attention
Pema Pera: in the sense of keeping a short list of highest priorities in the forefront of my mind
Pema Pera: On the other hand, I also feel very strongly how there is a flow that is not rational
Pema Pera: a way in which there seems to be a River that has its own intelligence
Pema Pera: a River, the Universe, a form of local representative of Being I might even say
Pema Pera: and to the extent that I am in tune with that, things seem to go by themselves
Pema Pera: in what feels very much like wu-wei
Pema Pera: but hard to put into precise words
Maxine Walden: that is very interesting, and I am familiar with that River as you mention it during certain situations in which rather extraordinary
Maxine Walden: things are being asked of me
Maxine Walden: it is rather awesome and one feels rather carried along by the river as well as by one’s more efficient mind…
Maxine Walden: the flow seems to take away to some extent what decisions need to be made
Pema Pera: yes, both are important, the rational part and the non-doing part
Pema Pera: it is not a conscious planning only — and it also is not a completely letting go in the sense of closing your eyes and letting the Universe take care of it all
Maxine Walden: oh, I agree entirely
Pema Pera: It is more like trusting the flow and willing to be an instrument that is being played by the . . . Universe/River/Being . . . and my rationality is part of me-as-instrument
Maxine Walden: yes, yes, I am reminded of experiences in which the more I have been asked to do the quieter I have been able to become and then something ‘other’ seems to gather a kind of momentum and my choices seem clear and the perspective wider so that when I attend to then obvious perhaps big things all the littler things just flow…like being in partnership with the River

Our conversation reminded me of what we had started to explore earlier.

Pema Pera: This may be a good point to pick up some of the strands we have left before . . .
Pema Pera: we talked about roles we play
Pema Pera: and I mentioned that playing a role being conscious of it being a role can be more direct and engaging
Maxine Walden: yes
Pema Pera: the very fact that we know that a movie is a movie means that we can totally enjoy the emotional aspects, all of them, great ups and terrible dawns, without closing our eyes and running away . . .
Pema Pera: when we are extremely busy we can somehow fall into that kind of mode of watching our own life like a movie
Maxine Walden: and not fearing that anything catastrophic will happen, because it is after all a role/movie
Maxine Walden: but also an experience with genuine engagement
Pema Pera: how about phrasing that slightly differently, perhaps what you meant:
Pema Pera: catastrophic things WILL happen . . .
Maxine Walden: interesting how it is to become more quiet and spacious inside the more RL stuff there may be to do…that spaciousness may be like observing oneself
Maxine Walden: please, paraphrase
Pema Pera: but they don’t have to be as devastating as we normally think they are
Pema Pera: probably what you meant?
Pema Pera: yes, a sense of space is key!
Maxine Walden: right, indeed, and catastrophe goes both ways, because for me catastrophe really has to do with potential change

Sky opened the door, walked in, and sat down in between us.

Pema Pera: Hi Sky!
Maxine Walden: change for the better as well as unexpected change which at first seems jarring and negative…hi Sky
Sky Szimmer: hello pema and maxine!
Maxine Walden: good to see you
Maxine Walden: (just to mention I have to go in about 7 min)
Pema Pera: Thanks, Maxine, I appreciate the prior warnings!
Maxine Walden: yes, it feel so important as there is always so much wishing to be said and responded to
Pema Pera: both for the flow of the conversation and to give us all a chance to say goodbye in time ;>)
Maxine Walden: right
Sky Szimmer: yes! i appreciate it too.
Maxine Walden: oh, I just saw the guardian labels in our name baloons, Sky
Sky Szimmer: yes. i was wondering how that got there
Maxine Walden: I think Dakini (?), think it was she invited us into that group, think it was she
Pema Pera: let me show you how to change your labels
Pema Pera: go to the communicate window — do you both know where that is?
Sky Szimmer: yes
Maxine Walden: oh, please remind me
Maxine Walden: i’m getting short on time, and I have known about this so please don’t take the time to show me right now, I will have homework for later
Pema Pera: left bottom corner there should be a blue large button saying “communicate”
Pema Pera: okay
Pema Pera: did you buy this book I recommende a few weeks ago, Maxine?
Pema Pera: That really would help a lot
Pema Pera: Do you still have the title?
Maxine Walden: I am picking it up today, but remind me of the title
Pema Pera: just a moment, you can keep talking with Sky ;>)
Sky Szimmer: : )
Sky Szimmer: Maxine Just wanted to say I appreciate this get togethers with you
Maxine Walden: me to, Sky, and I am waiting to go and wishing for the book title, caught…I may have to go before Pema returns in which case I will look on the text
Pema Pera: Second Life: A Guide to Your Virtual World by Brian White
Maxine Walden: yes, I also do Sky…thanks Pema
Pema Pera: bye Maxine!
Maxine Walden: now got to go, see you soon
Pema Pera: see you soon again!
Sky Szimmer: bye Maxine! See you soon

Sky & I talked soon turned to the PaB practice.

Sky Szimmer: Uh Oh Pema, it’s just us.
Pema Pera: yes!
Pema Pera: and Marco too, I guess, right?
Sky Szimmer: no he’s asleep and hopefully stay that way for a bit
Pema Pera: maybe we should create a tiny avatar for him too . . . .
Sky Szimmer: i don’t get much time alone these days
Sky Szimmer: it has been a struggle
Sky Szimmer: it really is hard to get no down time to do one’s own things
Sky Szimmer: but that is my life for now.
Pema Pera: Yes, it must be difficult!
Pema Pera: Interestingly, though, this may be just the right time for you to do the 9-sec practice . . . .
Sky Szimmer: i use to call it personal down time. but given my situation, i really had to rethink what the word personal time means
Sky Szimmer: yes. the 9 sec practice!
Pema Pera: in theory at least, they should take no more than two minutes a day or so
Sky Szimmer: so pretty much I have decided there is nothing personal as it creates dichotomy. what do you think
Sky Szimmer: uh oh baby is stirring…
Pema Pera: ahah
Pema Pera: there is no such thing as personal in isolation, in opposition to other times, I agree — yet it is really nice to have time in which to reflect, or just go for a walk or whatever . . .
Sky Szimmer: yes. i miss those quiet moments but now it is filled with other joyful memories
Pema Pera: yes
Pema Pera: that is very important
Pema Pera: to be willing to shift judgement
Sky Szimmer: anyhow, can you talk about abandonment while in play
Pema Pera: yes
Sky Szimmer: but hurry!
Sky Szimmer: : )
Pema Pera: Maxine and I also talked about that just before you came
Pema Pera: so that part you can read on the blog when I put it up in a day or so
Sky Szimmer: great.
Pema Pera: but basically
Pema Pera: abandonment allows a more full engagement of all aspects of a situation
Pema Pera: and abondonment is much harder if you take a situation too seriously, too absolute . . .
Pema Pera: then there seems to be no way out of complex situations . . . .
Pema Pera: you can really seem to be stuck
Sky Szimmer: ah..!
Pema Pera: but if Maxine plays being a Queen, even if the Queen is stuck, Maxine isn’t, so Maxine can look for solutions for the Queen in a way that is still cool, calm and collected ;>)
Pema Pera: we really should get her to wear the crown I gave her, that I in turn got from Storm ;>)
Sky Szimmer: really! so one has to not get too sucked into the situation at play
Pema Pera: as for me, you can see that lately my hair stands on end ;>)
Sky Szimmer: yes! it is quite a statement!
Pema Pera: engaged in, yes, sucked in so that one gets blinders on, no
Pema Pera: haha, got this Mohawk from a neighbor who has a great hair shop
Pema Pera: but I guess as a fox you have your own natural hair already

Sky continued questioning.

Sky Szimmer: so, how do you not get so sucked in.
Pema Pera: by not identifying with your body and mind and emotions
Pema Pera: you have them
Pema Pera: it is not the case that you are them
Pema Pera: what you are cannot get sucked in
Sky Szimmer: this is much easier when there is no trouble brewing
Pema Pera: perhaps . . . .
Pema Pera: . . . . not sure
Sky Szimmer: in my situation, i have a fast temper which gets me in trouble : )
Sky Szimmer: before i know it, i am sucked in.
Pema Pera: . . . it may seem easier . . . but it may not go very deep . . .
Pema Pera: . . . when we are under great tension, and THEN let go, it may go a lot deeper, we may have no choice . . .
Pema Pera: so if you really find a way to let go when trouble is brewing, you may have turned a very important page in your life . . . and from then on everything may be so much easier that it will be hard to remember how difficult life used to be (^_^)
Sky Szimmer: i am lucky in that i am in a situation where my temper always gets in the way and signals to me, that i still have much work to do.
Pema Pera: perhaps no work
Sky Szimmer: that’d be nice. I am still waiting to turn the page
Pema Pera: perhaps a no-doing orientation, a no-work orientation may “work” better ;>)
Sky Szimmer: yes. “no” work indeed but it shows that Being is not in control
Pema Pera: working at letting go may already overshoot the mark . . . .
Pema Pera: but not doing anything undershoots . . . .
Sky Szimmer: it is matter of speech.
Pema Pera: yes, we have to use words that are limited
Sky Szimmer: i mean to way when my temper flashes up, then it shows me that Being is not in control
Sky Szimmer: but I wonder, if the elements don’t come into play.
Sky Szimmer: you know, if I am mostly fire, then it maybe I just flare more easily then others.
Sky Szimmer: others may resort to sadness or something else
Sky Szimmer: but still, one’d think that despite the elements, temperaments still can be tamed

I wanted to respond to all that Sky had said, and tried to be a bit more systematic than what usually is the case here in the tea house.

Pema Pera: you are bringing up many important things in a few sentences, Sky! May I start at the beginning?
Pema Pera: First of all, well . . . Being is not a thing and certainly not something that is either in control or not . . . .
Sky Szimmer: ok
Pema Pera: you may feel you are in control or not in control
Pema Pera: in fact, when wu-wei clicks
Pema Pera: you are in a sort-of control that is very different from normal you-based control ; it is the River that is in control, and you are the instrument, the tool, the bedding perhaps through which the River flows, or a boat on the river, or a leaf floating on it — pick your favorite metaphor
Pema Pera: As for the elements
Pema Pera: that is a very important way of talking and analyzing and looking at your situation, but not something I am trying to focus on here, not primarily at least.
Sky Szimmer: i understand
Pema Pera: I am happy to talk about it, for sure, like I am happy to talk about anything here
Pema Pera: but the PaB
Pema Pera: the Play as Being
Pema Pera: notion jumps totally over the elements
Pema Pera: goes beyond that
Pema Pera: so playing as Being liberates us in one jump from all and any concern about elements, energies, anything
Pema Pera: and then we can go back to our situation
Pema Pera: and see all that once more in the light of Being
Sky Szimmer: i understand that but wuwei in the situation of a inflamed situation, one can still be very abandoned in being angry and enjoy the anger in the situation
Pema Pera: oh yes!
Pema Pera: greet you anger, smile at it
Pema Pera: like you smile at Marco and feel one with him at the same time
Sky Szimmer: yes I do enjoy being pissed off but then I have to deal with the consequences
Sky Szimmer: which is the part I’d like to avoid
Pema Pera: we all have to be mothers for our own emotions, lovingly so
Sky Szimmer: which leads me to taming of the shrewd
Pema Pera: hahaha!
Pema Pera: yes, we have to deal with all that happens — no avoidance or denial here!
Pema Pera: that is a common mistake when people talk about wu-wei
Sky Szimmer: don’t get me wrong. I love my emotional states and I see myself going through them and even thinking, ahh, that feels good!
Pema Pera: hahaha, I know, yes
Sky Szimmer: what is a mistake?
Sky Szimmer: the mistake is to link wu wei with the consequences?
Pema Pera: the mistake is to view wu-wei as encouraging avoidance and/or denial
Sky Szimmer: ah!
Pema Pera: an easy mistake to make when first hearing about not-doing
Pema Pera: almost everyone makes that mistake at first
Sky Szimmer: the point is still living a happy life
Pema Pera: that’s the only interpretation that makes sense in our normal framework, I guess
Sky Szimmer: I guess so.
Sky Szimmer: I guess I am trying to get rid of my problems through spirituality
Sky Szimmer: hahah
Pema Pera: and avoidance and denial come from misguided attempts to become happier by turning away from unhappy aspects of lives . . . but it is no real solution
Pema Pera: I’m sorry, Sky, but I have to run now
Pema Pera: since I have to attend an astronomy talk.
Pema Pera: Feel free to join me if you like!
Sky Szimmer: thanks! but got to run!

The popular talk was great fun, and lasted about an hour. At the end I teleported home, and decided to survey some of the new land that I had bought in Magoja. I walked in that direction, passing through the largest room in the Hall of Appearance, in the direction of the majestic steps that Storm had constructed at the North side of the Hall.

And what a nice surprise, to see two visitors sitting there, on two of the cushions that I had spread out there in a semi circle, in preparation for larger meetings than we can handle in the tea room! I recognized Anan McCallen and Saron Heron as two visitors who had both joined some of our tea house meetings. It was such a joy for me, to see this new Hall actyally being used now! I understood even better how Dakini must have felt, having built the tea house and later seeing it being used.

It turned out that Saron was practicing his Japanese, in speaking with Anan.

Pema Pera: こんにちは！
Saron Heron: Hi pema
Anan McCallen: Pemaさんのあたま、すてきですね
Pema Pera: doumo doumo
Pema Pera: 本当に良かった，ここで会いました！！
Pema Pera: 来たのはドウモアリガトウ、アナンさん
Pema Pera: 今RLで友達へSLを見せたかった。
Anan McCallen: なにですか？
Pema Pera: このビルも見せたかったのできました
Anan McCallen: ざぜんどうですね！
Pema Pera: ここに友達に会うのは吃驚しました。楽しいです！！！
Anan McCallen: さろん、ちゃっとにしましょう
Pema Pera: 座禅の場っしょを見ましたか？
Pema Pera: はい！
Pema Pera: 行きましょうか？
Anan McCallen: どこにいきますか？

Since Anan had mentioned the place where Dakini led her meditation group, not far from the Hall, it seemed like a fun idea to visit there as well.

Pema Pera: 行きましょう！
Pema Pera: いいですか？
Pema Pera: どうぞ！
Pema Pera: 残念ながら、今仲間と昼食を食べなっきゃ。。。
Pema Pera: すみません
Pema Pera: 本当によかった、ここで会ったのは！
Anan McCallen: はい、うれしいです
Pema Pera: こんどもっとゆっくり話しましょう！！
Anan McCallen: はい、またのきかいに
Anan McCallen: bye
Saron Heron: itterasai