2015.06.22 13:00 - Re-thinking the real

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    The Guardian for this meeting was Aphrodite Macbain. The comments are by Aphrodite Macbain.

    hats'n hair.jpg

    druth Vlodovic: you're shedding plants
    Aphrodite Macbain: LOL
    Aphrodite Macbain: hi
    druth Vlodovic: where did you get that getup?
    Aphrodite Macbain: I have to check out my shampoo
    Aphrodite Macbain: at the place we visited a while back
    Aphrodite Macbain: You got a few get ups too
    Aphrodite Macbain: Don't like my Mohawk?
    druth Vlodovic: it's ... interesting
    Aphrodite Macbain: should I remove it and find something less bristly?
    druth Vlodovic: nah, looks good
    Aphrodite Macbain: there
    Aphrodite Macbain: now I'm bald
    druth Vlodovic: oooohhhh
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    druth Vlodovic: nobody coming?
    Aphrodite Macbain: who knows. It's only 1:01
    Aphrodite Macbain: maybe Zen and Bleu

     

    druth Vlodovic: I didn't see if you did a theme
    Aphrodite Macbain: the theme is: "Why do different orders or types of thoughts arise with presence of different people?"
    druth Vlodovic: jazz blue, or generally depressed blue?
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    druth Vlodovic: ah
    Aphrodite Macbain: Eliza raised the question at the Guardian meeting.
    druth Vlodovic: so what orders of thought do you have?
    Aphrodite Macbain: I prefer to say "types" of thoughts. My thoughts are rarely orderly
    druth Vlodovic: genus then
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    Aphrodite Macbain: I have thoughts that make me feel or are result of a feeling: angry thoughts, happy thoughts, thoughts about things that are bothering me
    Aphrodite Macbain: It's nice when people shake my assumptions and make me think differently
    druth Vlodovic: intrusive thoughts can be a bother
    Aphrodite Macbain: what do you mean by intrusive thoughts?
    Aphrodite Macbain: Thoughts that are disturbing that come from something you try and avoid?
    Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Bruce!
    Aphrodite Macbain: You have saved us from our thoughts
    druth Vlodovic: hey Bruce
    Bruce Mowbray: Hi. So sorry to be late -- My internet connection has been unstable all afternoon.
    Bruce Mowbray: Are you SURE they were 'thoughts'?
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    Aphrodite Macbain: what else could they be?
    Bruce Mowbray: Are you talking about Vipassana today -- and thoughts, of course?
    Bruce Mowbray: They could be "impressions" but not "concepts."
    Aphrodite Macbain: Why do different orders or types of thoughts arise with presence of different people?"
    Bruce Mowbray: kk, TY!
    Bruce Mowbray: I was still hung up on the email question, I guess.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I think I connect ideas or experiences differently with each person
    Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmm.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I have expectations
    Aphrodite Macbain: of the other person
    Aphrodite Macbain: I know what angers or upsets them so I act to accommodate that
    Bruce Mowbray: Do you (as TS Eliot said in "J.Alfred Prufrock) "make a face to meet the faces that you meet?" -- or make different thoughts when you meet different folks?
    Aphrodite Macbain: nice
    Aphrodite Macbain: Perhaps we do
    Aphrodite Macbain: as we are social beings
    Bruce Mowbray: "I shall go to make a face to meet the faces that I meet." -The Lovesong of J.Alfred Prufrock
    Bruce Mowbray: so, instead of making faces, you're making thoughts?
    Aphrodite Macbain: It implies that we are never truly "ourselves" except when we're alone..
    Bleu Oleander: hiya
    Bruce Mowbray: [Did I scare off druthie?]
    Aphrodite Macbain: aww. druth poofed
    Bruce Mowbray: yeppers.
    Bruce Mowbray: I've been poofing all afternoon myself.
    Bruce Mowbray: Bleu!
    Aphrodite Macbain: why?
    Bruce Mowbray: unstable internet connection out here in the boonies.
    Aphrodite Macbain: Hi lovely Bleu. What are u wearing?
    Bruce Mowbray: (you wouldn't have such thoughts, of course).
    Bleu Oleander: i'm wearing one of Mikati's lovely hats
    Bruce Mowbray: a lovely Legos hat!?
    Bleu Oleander: she's quite an artist!
    Bruce Mowbray: I guess she is!
    Aphrodite Macbain: Bleu, we are discussing: "Why do different orders or types of thoughts arise with presence of different people?"

    Aphrodite Macbain: who is Mikati?
    Bleu Oleander: big artist
    Bruce Mowbray: Now, THERE's an interesting thought.
    Bleu Oleander: she designed the 4 sim birthday cake for the sl 12th birthday party
    Aphrodite Macbain: maybe I can get one to cover my baldness
    Bruce Mowbray: "BIG ARTIST"
    Aphrodite Macbain ponders the concept
    Bleu Oleander: big cake!
    Bruce Mowbray: BIG FAT artist? or a grand artistic person?

    Aphrodite Macbain: what is the LM for the party- maybe we can go later
    Bleu Oleander: one sec
    Aphrodite Macbain: Thanks Bleu
    Aphrodite Macbain: (received LM)
    Bleu Oleander: she's giving gift hats there too :)
     

    Bleu Oleander: ok explain the subject again?

    Aphrodite Macbain: "Why do different orders or types of thoughts arise with presence of different people?"
    Aphrodite Macbain: It was a question Eliza raised at the Guardian meeting
    Bruce Mowbray: yes, I remember now.
    Bleu Oleander: hiya druth
    Aphrodite Macbain: wb druthie
    Bruce Mowbray: wb druth
    Bleu Oleander: what does that mean "orders" or "types" of thoughts?
     

    druth Vlodovic: shhhh, we're meditating
    Aphrodite Macbain: :/
    Aphrodite Macbain: I read it to mean, "do we think differently with different people". The answer may simply be "no" but I thought it worth exploring
    druth Vlodovic: are we safe now?
    Aphrodite Macbain: I doubt it druth :-)
    druth Vlodovic: I find people change personalities depending on who is around
    Bleu Oleander: I think we are different selves with different people and in different contexts
    druth Vlodovic: primarily when young though
    Aphrodite Macbain: hmmm - I feel like a little girl still when I'm with my mother
     

    Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Korel
    Korel Laloix: Heya
    Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Kori.
    Aphrodite Macbain: Great to see you
    Bleu Oleander: hi Kori
    Korel Laloix smiles great to see you all as well.
     

    druth Vlodovic: whelp! there goes my mind
    Bleu Oleander: lol
    Bruce Mowbray: How would you know that, druth?
    druth Vlodovic: the small squeak I heard
    Aphrodite Macbain: a mouse?

    Bruce Mowbray: I mean, would that be a bit like trying to know your brain had been without blood for a while? You couldn't, right?
    Korel Laloix: This is a new gazebo for me... has it been out long?
    Aphrodite Macbain: What would be like that Bruce?
     

    Bleu Oleander: yes went up on the 15th Kori
    Bleu Oleander: by Xirana
    Korel Laloix: Oh Ok.. nice.
     

    Bruce Mowbray: Well, what I'm trying to say is that you couldn't KNOW what that would be like.
    Aphrodite Macbain: what what would be like?
    druth Vlodovic: you can be aware of yourself to an extent
    Bruce Mowbray: [13:23] Aph: What would be like that Bruce?
    Korel Laloix: I seem to do Ok without my brain sometimes... lol
    druth Vlodovic: even fish can see fishbowls
    Bleu Oleander: not sure what you guys are talking about lol
    Aphrodite Macbain: are u referring to druth saying "there goes my mind"?
    Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I am.
    Aphrodite Macbain: ohh
    Bruce Mowbray: and I responded, "How could you KNOW that?"
    druth Vlodovic: sensing different mental states due to outside human influence
    Aphrodite Macbain: If we had no mind we wouldn't be aware of not having it. True....
    Bruce Mowbray: Exactly.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I can be very aware of changing mental states
    Aphrodite Macbain: because my body changes --my palms sweat, or my heart beats faster, or I feel warm around my heart

    Bruce Mowbray: So, we were chatting about why Aph changes her personality depending on who's with her, right? Or did I just make that up?
    Korel Laloix: I think we all do that.
    Aphrodite Macbain: Bruce Mowbray listens.
    Korel Laloix: It is just polite I think.. and functional.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I don't know if our thoughts change too
    Bleu Oleander: our thoughts change all the time
    Korel Laloix: But people that expect you to change, often don't get the results they want from me.... smiles
    Aphrodite Macbain: I think they might since thoughts are prompted by external as well as internal stimuli
    Bruce Mowbray: I don't feel that in Aph's case it's a matter of her trying to manipulate people. I feel that it's more like she feels vulnerable.
    druth Vlodovic: not just thoughts but types of thought
    Aphrodite Macbain: It was just an observation Eliza made: "Why do different orders or types of thoughts arise with presence of different people?"
    druth Vlodovic: when I was a teen I noticed it quite a bit in my peers as in thoughts coming from a different personality
    Bleu Oleander: what are "types" of thoughts?
    Korel Laloix: I think people more often than not react to me vs the other way around... just my personality though.
    Bruce Mowbray: likewise, I don't think it THOUGHTS that Aph is speaking about (but help me out of this, Aph), Actually, it's more of an effect, a primary emotional, spontaneous reaction.
    Aphrodite Macbain: angry, analytical, wandering, attentive
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes- I think some of our thoughts are prompted by some form of feeling or emotion
    Bleu Oleander: my thoughts change too fast to categorize them
    druth Vlodovic: yes, less an emotion then a set of responses to an emotion

    Aphrodite Macbain: I am most aware of my types of thoughts when I meditate (planning, reviewing the past, wondering, ) they change when I am with people and sometimes are reactive and shallow and sometimes, but only occasionally, are new!
    Bleu Oleander: :)
    Bruce Mowbray: Well the reason I asked about Vipassana originally (in this session) was -- that I don't think that Vispassana is about "thoughts."
    Aphrodite Macbain: no- that was another discussion I raised based on that TED talk
    Bruce Mowbray: but I think that was the question (about Vipassana) that Aph raised in the email suggesting the TED talk.
    Bruce Mowbray: yes, that one.
    Aphrodite Macbain: that discussion was about our ability to really see reality. I enjoyed everyone's responses to that
    Bruce Mowbray: sry.
    Bruce Mowbray: yes,
    druth Vlodovic: well our paradigm
    Bruce Mowbray: So, does that connect in some way with your "reactiveness (my word, sry) to other people, Aph?
    Aphrodite Macbain: druth Vlodovic: you could say it is a similar subject:
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes
    Aphrodite Macbain: It can be linked
    Bruce Mowbray: I agree with druth that it is very closely connected to the TED talk.... as well as to Vipassana.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I sometimes get a skewed view of reality when I am influenced by love or fear or anger
    Aphrodite Macbain: and my thoughts about a subject may change
    Bruce Mowbray: That's why I called it "reactive," Aph.... but no judgment intended, just description of what you were saying about your responses to other people.
    Aphrodite Macbain: I suppose are feelings are one form of reality - yes- and many of them are reactive
    Aphrodite Macbain: rather than equanamous
    Bleu Oleander: what do you mean by "reality"?
    Bruce Mowbray: The "reality" that the TED talk guy was referring to was one that would be verifiable to the senses . . . but that doesn't matter with Vipassana.
    Aphrodite Macbain: what is real as opposed to what is imagined
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes
    Aphrodite Macbain: our senses are limited to 5 - or 6
    Bleu Oleander: well we can't know the totality of reality
    Aphrodite Macbain: No
    Bruce Mowbray: something "imagined" and mentally constructed also is "real" -- it just doesn't have referents that are observable to the 5 senses of Western thought.
    Aphrodite Macbain: but I wonder whether our limited view of reality is true
    Bruce Mowbray: Buddhism, of course, has a sixth sense that DOES recognize such things as imagination and emotional impression.
    Aphrodite Macbain: the 6th sense is the mind
    Bruce Mowbray: It's called "mind"
    Bruce Mowbray: yes.
    Bleu Oleander: I think western thought recognizes imagination and emotional impression too
    Aphrodite Macbain: [13:36] Aph: our senses are limited to 5 - or 6
    Bruce Mowbray: but even with mind, there's a difference between impressions and thoughts.
    Bleu Oleander: what do you mean by that?
    Bruce Mowbray: Vipassana meditators know about this difference.
    Bruce Mowbray: (Where's Zen when we need him?)
    Bleu Oleander: ha ha!
    Aphrodite Macbain: As I said in my email- I think all we can do is to be as open as possible- to all possible realities
    Bruce Mowbray: a "thought" is a construct.
    Bruce Mowbray: an impression is not fully a construct (as the TED guy was saying about "reality")
    Bleu Oleander: not sure I understand that
    Bruce Mowbray: we can have impressions of all sorts without constructing anything.
    Bleu Oleander: I don't think so
    druth Vlodovic: a thought comes from the current construct of the mind, like an apartment is a construct in an apartment building
    Bruce Mowbray: explain, please, Bleu.
    Bleu Oleander: what would an impression be?
    Aphrodite Macbain: are you implying that a construct is something that is logically developed?
    Bruce Mowbray: a sense of foreboding, or anxiety might be an "impression" -- but that doesn't mean it has been constructed like a thought...
    Bleu Oleander: but it has
    Bleu Oleander: the mind has created that anxiety feeling
    Bruce Mowbray: I'm referring to what (and HOW) the TED guy said we "construct" our realities.
    Bleu Oleander: I'm not sure what he said ... can you explain?
    Bruce Mowbray: he used several optical illusions.
    Bruce Mowbray: kk,
    druth Vlodovic: constructing doesn't require conscious planning, though I imagine a lot of unconscious planning and tradition goes in to it
    Aphrodite Macbain: one gets an impression from a diverse and unrelated sets of things and is shaped by emotions. It is not necessarily "real".
    Bruce Mowbray: for example, he showed a field of different colored dots that appeared to be moving in waves toward the right.
    Aphrodite Macbain: nods at druth
    Bleu Oleander: tricks the mind
    Aphrodite Macbain: nods
    Bruce Mowbray: but "in reality" he said, that the dots were simple changing colors in sequence.
    Bruce Mowbray: giving the impression of movement.
    Bleu Oleander: that's still a construct tho, just the wrong one hehe
    Aphrodite Macbain: that showed how we cannot rely simply on our senses
    Bruce Mowbray: He called that changing of color "real" -- and said that the previous impression of movement was NOT real,
    Bruce Mowbray: but I strongly disagree with him.
    druth Vlodovic: depends on how you define "real" i guess
    Bleu Oleander: it was real to you tho
    druth Vlodovic: "existing in the world without dependence upon an observer" type of real, it isn't
    Aphrodite Macbain: if a tree falls in the forest....
    Bleu Oleander: well the colored dots aren't either
    Bruce Mowbray: Bleu has just made my original point - esp. concerning Vipassana... whatever rises has the quality of "reality" for the meditator...
    Aphrodite Macbain: nods
    Bruce Mowbray: simply notice what arises.
    Bleu Oleander: for the one experiencing it
    Aphrodite Macbain: but for me the danger is to believe that your reality is not only true but universal
    Bruce Mowbray: no need to name it or to find a "real world" referent for it.
    Bleu Oleander: that's not Vipassana that's just how it is
    druth Vlodovic: "reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, it still exists."
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    Bruce Mowbray: Vipassna's goal is to show you "just how it is."
    druth Vlodovic: perhaps we need to define new words
    Bruce Mowbray: THAT would be construction, druth.
    Aphrodite Macbain: nods- it's a goal but not a completely achievable goal
    druth Vlodovic: the word, or the saying?
    Bruce Mowbray: Suppose I construct a whole new mathematical symbol... and then I say, I have this symbol, therefore it refers to something real"
    Bruce Mowbray: You'd think me crazy, right?
    druth Vlodovic: not if you tested it to see if it did accord with reality
    druth Vlodovic: of course, if you didn't then I'd just call you religious :P
    Aphrodite Macbain: are we talking about the scientific method?
    Bleu Oleander: hi Zen
    Zen Arado: Hi all
    Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Zen
    Bruce Mowbray: There it is, druth! That's what the TED talk dude said we need to do --- test it with "reality." and that is exactly what I disagree with.
    druth Vlodovic: hey zen, we were just talking about you
    Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
    Bruce Mowbray: YAYYY! Zen can help dig us out.
    druth Vlodovic: how so?
    Zen Arado: :)
    Zen Arado: dig you further in
    Aphrodite Macbain: why do you disagree Bruce?
    Bleu Oleander: what do you disagree with?
    Bruce Mowbray: I disagree because of MIND.
    Aphrodite Macbain: we are trying to figure out what reality is Zen
    druth Vlodovic: M.I.N.D.?
    Aphrodite Macbain: ?
    Bruce Mowbray: Not everything in MIND can be tested against a physical reality, so called.
    Zen Arado: don't think there is one
    Zen Arado: qed ;)
    Aphrodite Macbain: what's making you think Zen?
    Zen Arado: no idea
    Aphrodite Macbain: your mind
    Bleu Oleander: do you believe mind is something apart from the physical universe?
    Aphrodite Macbain: no
    Bruce Mowbray runs to get a glass of water to cool of his mind.... brb.
    Aphrodite Macbain: It is embodied
    druth Vlodovic: see, this is why we need a less emotionally charged word than "real"
    Zen Arado: what happens if you aren't thinking?
    Aphrodite Macbain: what would you propose druth?
    druth Vlodovic: since the opposite of real is "fake" or even "unreal" which not what we would want to refer to
    Aphrodite Macbain: thinking is always happening at some level
    Zen Arado: don't thoughts just come into your mind- whatever it is
    Aphrodite Macbain: truth? another word for real?
    Zen Arado: ?
    Bleu Oleander: I've never experienced a moment of not thinking, because if I became conscious of not thinking I'd be thinking :)
    Aphrodite Macbain: it is created by our mind- all those electrical synapses
    Zen Arado: yeh but we made these words up
    druth Vlodovic: electro chemicals generate them according to physical properties
    Aphrodite Macbain: exactly Bleu
    Bruce Mowbray: the "opposite of real" might be illusory, imagined, or other things -- that are still "real" in themselves and MUCH worth looking at (thus, Vipassana).
    Zen Arado: they only point to something
    Aphrodite Macbain wonders if my mind has fingers
    Bruce Mowbray: TOOOO reductionist, druth! :(
    druth Vlodovic: ok, but imagination is the starting point for math
    Aphrodite Macbain: why?
    Zen Arado: what makes the brain think certain thoughts
    Bruce Mowbray: OF COURSE your mind has fingers, and toes too.
    Zen Arado: where do they come from?
    Aphrodite Macbain: experience, memory, chemicals, electrical impulses Zen
    Bleu Oleander: experience and memory
    Bleu Oleander: yes
    Zen Arado: I have no idea where my thoughts come from
    Aphrodite Macbain: really?

    Bleu Oleander: reactions to context/environment
    Bruce Mowbray: Asking "where thoughts come from" makes the construction of specialness -- Is that appropriate with something like thoughts?
    Zen Arado: they seem to arrive out of the blue
    druth Vlodovic: hehe, many people are quite upset about the electrochemical model of "mind"
    Aphrodite Macbain: a course in neuroscience might be handy - perhaps too reductionist?
    druth Vlodovic: but to say "there is a paradigm of reality which exists only in the mind" seems ok
    Zen Arado: we are just adopting conventions to speak about this
    Bleu Oleander: well different levels
    Aphrodite Macbain: of course
    Zen Arado: nobody really knows what thinking is
    Aphrodite Macbain: that is the only way we can speak Zen
    Zen Arado: I know
    druth Vlodovic: adopting conventions and "speaking of this" are co-dependent
    Aphrodite Macbain: there are many scientists who say they know
    Zen Arado: are there Aph?
    Zen Arado: don't think so
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes- even Buddhist monks
     

    Zen Arado: but we think it gives us more than it does maybe?
    Aphrodite Macbain: ?
    druth Vlodovic: inventing conventions is a bit involved, but worth it
    Zen Arado: I have heard famous scientists say that consciousness is a complete mystery
    Aphrodite Macbain: Oops Bruce is cooling his mind (Bruce poofs)
    Zen Arado: heheh
    Aphrodite Macbain: wb Bruce
    Aphrodite Macbain: how's the mind?
    Zen Arado: I don't mind
    Bruce Mowbray: wobbly

    image001.jpg

    Aphrodite Macbain: protected by a hat. Very nice
    Bleu Oleander: thinking is not some independent thing ... it's a word we made up to represent a process we also call mind, another word we made up
    Aphrodite Macbain: yes
    Bruce Mowbray: Lost my connection AGAIN.
    druth Vlodovic: they say that some cultures consider dreaming to be a real place
    Bleu Oleander: some consider SL to be a real place
    druth Vlodovic: a place where real exists but is a different real than physical real
    Zen Arado: we can't see thinking
    Zen Arado: only it's effects
    Aphrodite Macbain: no - nor can we smell seeing
    Bruce Mowbray: "where real exists" -- how would you know that?
    Bleu Oleander: gtg to a mtg y'all
    Bleu Oleander: bye for now
    Zen Arado: it's purely subjective then?
    Bruce Mowbray: bye for now, Bleu.
    Zen Arado: bye Bleu
    druth Vlodovic: by experiencing it I would guess, what you were referring to earlier (I think)
    druth Vlodovic: ttfn bleu
    Aphrodite Macbain: Bye Blue- I'll be there in 5
    Zen Arado: or see seeing
    Bruce Mowbray: So if I experience something, is it "real"?
    Bruce Mowbray: I experience a dream, let's say.
    Zen Arado: depends what 'real' is
    druth Vlodovic: it is experientially real, even if a mirage by physical real standards
    Zen Arado: and we haven't decided that have we?
    Zen Arado: it is an experience yes
    Zen Arado: something happened
    Zen Arado: that's about as much as we can say?
    Bruce Mowbray: (plus a few instruments to extend those senses).
    Zen Arado: what if all of our learned concepts and labels suddenly fell away
    Zen Arado: wow scary
    druth Vlodovic: maybe use phenomenon and whatever the term is for physically there
    Aphrodite Macbain: sorry I must go-
    Bruce Mowbray: (I'm losing my connection again. ... Time to go. THANKS, Aph and everyone.
    Zen Arado: bye Aph
    Aphrodite Macbain whispers "bye"
    Zen Arado: me too then I guess
    Zen Arado: byee
    Aphrodite Macbain: Thanks everyone
    druth Vlodovic: bye all
    Korel Laloix: ciao all

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    I've been trying to think of a way to describe the question I was asking, that Aph quoted. It came from a noticing a few days before, that when in the presence of different people, especially contemplative people, it isn't just that their presence feels different but that different kinds of thoughts are evoked. Performers and teachers will attest that "audience" is crucial for what happens with a lesson, but on a day to day scale it is the same. We become different people, to greater or lesser degrees.

    And then there is a related angle, which I think Jane Austen gives a clear example of. It comes in Sense and Sensibility when, as was law and custom, the brother inherits the estate when his father dies, and has responsibility for his sisters. His promise to his father before passing is that he will care for them generously/fairly/equally, and after the father's passing he has the same gut instinct and desire. However, Austen writes a brilliant dialogue where he is talked down little by little, from his more direct interpretation. This was an outer dialogue, but in our lives as we are parented or friended or trained for work, we pick up lots of these reasonings and inclinations, thought patterns, and internalize them. Sometimes it is more noticeable than at other times.

    I think this is something we know in the background but don't pay attention to. When people advise another to listen to their heart, that's a lot of what is suggested. I've found it a pretty interesting thing to try to notice. edited 01:42, 24 Jun 2015
    Posted 01:35, 24 Jun 2015
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