2014.05.08 _ 16

Unfortunately I was distracted by the "you have new messages" beep between bed and cushion, so I spent most of my time being alternately annoyed about my mother's workmen not showing up and by her inability to phone their boss and complain. I'll try again after work.

Woke up at an absurd hour in the morning, could be the coffee I had at dinner last night, could be all the work I need do, yet never seems to accomplish laying awake in bed. So I got up before 5 and went downstair for some reluctant meditation. I realize now that my reluctance in most cases is , on one hand I know I require setting aside 20-40 minutes that an inner voice tells me I don't have (My inner voice is lying to me, of course) and on the other I will and always do feel great when done. I begin my 100 breaths feeling the goodness seeping in, the cat doing figure 8's between my feet, the birds chirping outside before sunrise, the wonderings of a mind between focused on the external and focused on the internal... and all the good feeling that always join me when I of this, 8 minutes of eventual bliss. Followed another 8 minutes of Qi Gong, 100 stretching. By the time I was done, my stuffed up nose was clear as was my head and much calmness enveloped me. Off to tai chi. I was having a balance issue because I was doing in in my bare feet on the carpet for the first time in a while. I would usually have shoes or sandals on. I was interrupted by a text message leftover from last night's meeting so I got 2/3rds of the way through my form and decided to blog about it rather than fining.

Meant to leave a posting yesterday, but I too got distracted and then the day was gone. Good intentions in the early morning for exercise and welcoming the day may fade when the body or self feels depleted. And yet it feels more like a 'won't' rather than a 'can't'. Stubbornness is alive and well even early in the day.

"feeling the goodness seeping in, the cat doing figure 8s between my feet...." Thanks for your inspiring report, Stevie. It may be the reason that after taking my son to school at 6am, I was able to come home and begin practice before involving in other things. This time I let my feet in on the dance, but I'd forgotten to stand in the appropriate tai chi way at first and felt like I was doing ballet. Then, "aha, oops!" That corrected, I realized that even though one is standing, it rather feels like one is taking a seat. At this stage with my just going back to this practice it will take forever for me to learn (DO) lots of different movements, but I'm not worried about that.

I'm attaching a few photos of i-pad drawing today, a practice I'm calling "therapeutic doodling." It feels like "doing without remembering or thinking that you are doing." edited 17:54, 8 May 2014

Well... I read. And I flew. And I watched the NFL draft. All good. Nothing else to report other than I notice I can do the last two of those three at the same time, but the reading takes full exclusive attention. And I think I prefer it that way.

Meant to get here yesterday but didn't.
Life is a happy and joyous place
And I'm content to let time slip
Letting the wind push me
In amazing new directions

Life changes everyday
An adventure awaits

Meant to get here and didn't...:)
i love doodling:) so much inner judgement gets stirred up tho!
Good job eliza!