2014.05.14 _ 22

Woken early by some arse ringing my doorbell, once I got over being annoyed I decided to stay up. Went to the cushion and sat. Found myself at one point wishing, not for the first time, for a device that could record the passing train(s) of thought, to be able to see and ruminate on the true stream-of-consciousness, then realized I was thinking. Sighed, cleared my mind and carried on.

Qi Gong 15 minutes... just basic standing practice as well as what has become my "greet the morning" practice. I already feel this effort has been worthwhile, even if only these two practices become staples for the time being.

Gathering my few things for a weekend work trip always focusses my mind: which jeans, which shoes, not too little (rare), not too much (often). That fear that I will be short of some vital thing usually leads me to pack way more than necessary. And yet, in these quiet moments in the early morning before the bustle of the day, it is clear how little we really need to 'pack' for the journey of everyday. Just a toothbrush, perhaps, more likely 'just' an open, receptive mind. Yet, it is often easier to pack too many T-shirts! Maybe there is a connection, maybe too many T-shirts when I have trouble securing the open, receptive mind...

And then there are the times we 'post' too many copies of the same comment (#4-7 above) out of impatience or distraction...

Gosh, so many people under the weather. I thought it was just me - though I'm slowly getting better. Get well, my friends, and take care; you are more precious than you know.

I've reached the final parts of Hesse's book. Of course I once wondered whether I'd get this far. Then I wondered whether it would be a life-changing book. Then I wondered why Hesse had written it. (There are probably more "thens", but then I forget...)

The best things to have come from this are (a) it's probably re-kindled my love of reading, and (b) I got the chance to hang out with you guys. :-)

Maxine, the database seems veeeery slow today. Slow to bring up pages, and slow even to acknowledge that you press the "add comment" button (so of course you press it at least once more). Just delete repeated comments - I did for mine - though DO copy your comment text first and temporarily paste into a text editor, just in case your comment disappears completely.

Just at the end of my 30 mins relax at 4pm - so far its been quite consistent - even if I don't manage to be as calm as I want to. 4pm relax times are great I found ... they help me find calm even in work time - which is a good exercise. Sometimes I get the feeling there is some kind of calm even in the most hectic times... or at least I remember to tell myself and explore the idea even if I totally disagree with myself :D

Oh I didn't follow that - who is under the weather? Sending healing vibes from the bottom of planet ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( another little project I have is to listen better to people I don't know ... I chose this guy who comes to ask for food about once a week )

I also met Kopano again - who came for food and money. He looked quite ok today - last time he looked much more tired. I hope that he has somewhere warm to stay in the winter nights. He asked me for peanutbutter and was happy that I had some at home. He seemed happy meet me and left with his peanutbutter :)

"He asked me for peanutbutter..." It's not often you read those words. Thank you. madam, for the Kopano update. :-)

I started this 33 days with "I don't read enough." Two years ago, at the start of a previous 99 day project, I wrote (paraphrasing), "I don't walk enough." Walking is probably the outer limit of my physical exercise! And I do need to do more. I wrote that before, but the habit withered.

So I went for a short walk, the first for months. the temperature was perfect: 41°F (5°C). If it never got any hotter than this in the mornings I'd probably walk more often - though that's just my not owning the problem! ;-)

It was delightful. There is thick snow on the mountains and a deep freshness in the Colorado-blue air. I was surrounded by birdsong and the sound of trickles of melting snow. The scent of juniper resin hung heavily in places. A set of bamboo wind chimes hung limp in the still crisp air, its dragonfly clapper seeming to be caught mid-hover. A rabbit ran by and paused next to me, as if knowing that it was quite safe from being inside a coney pie. And I saw a sign, next to a housing sales office, saying "Future resident parking", with an arrow pointing to a reserved spot. I chuckled, wondering how many people would turn away at the presumption, and how many would giggle at its kitsch cuteness.

Very encouraging to read these reports and to wade into these observations, forgetting the lists running through my mind these last few weeks: various personal appointments, kids' appointments ("kids" isn't right anymore, but "teens" or "young adults" sounds too distant or impersonal), prom, award events, graduation, pet check ups, etc.

I too love the snapshot of someone coming to ask for peanutbutter. :)
And indeed the eyedrops recommended, Eos, have worked for longer stretches than anything so far.

I'm remembering that one year Eden's resolution was to "travel light of heart." Since then I think of her, and that phrase, when packing. Good advice even when not going away and returning, but seemingly staying put.

Congratulations on returning to walking, Storm. The image you've painted is stunning.


Returned to share this poem, by Marianne Moore:

The Mind is an Enchanting Thing

is an enchanted thing
like the glaze on a
katydid-wing
subdivided by sun
till the nettings are legion.
Like Giesking playing Scarltti;

like the apteryx-awl
as a beak, or the
kiwi's rain-shawl
of haired feathers, the mind
feeling its way as though blind,
walks along with its eyes on the ground.

It has memory's ear
that can hear without
having to hear.
Like the gyroscope's fall,
truly equivocal
because trued by regnant certainty,

it is a power of strong enchantment. It
is like the dove-
neck animated by
sun; it is memory's eye;
it's conscientious inconsistency.

It tears off the veil; tears
the temptation, the
mist the heart wears,
from its eyes - if the heart
has a face; it takes apart
dejection. It's fire in the dove-neck's

iridescence; in the inconsistencies
of Scarlatti.
Unconfusion submits
its confusion to proof; it's
not a Herod's oath that cannot change. edited 00:28, 15 May 2014

"to pack too many T-shirts": love that image! Each one covering me and a logo for me, recalling a memory or projecting an image. (Can't help but think of Pema's T-shirts :-).

Well, tired sleepy mind here, both inkwell and brush, soaking overnight, dark glistening, perhaps to rise as the morning lemur.