2013.04.09 19:00 - Change and Pain

The Guardian for this meeting was Eos Amaterasu. The comments are by Eos Amaterasu.

Korel Laloix: Heya
Eos Amaterasu: Hi Korel
Korel Laloix: Sorry.. was AFK.
Korel Laloix: How are things in your world?
Eos Amaterasu: lots of somethings, lots of nothing
Eos Amaterasu: overwhelming with ha ha on top :-)
Korel Laloix: Does not sound painful at lest.
Korel Laloix: at least
Eos Amaterasu: hmm...
Korel Laloix: My life has really been disjointed recently.. not sure if good or bad thing yet.
Eos Amaterasu: pain unignorable or rationalizable away
Eos Amaterasu: lots of nothing nonetheless
Korel Laloix: Nothing when it comes to bills is an OK thing at least...

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: :-)
Korel Laloix: People around here use the phrase "plenty of nothing" a lot.
Eos Amaterasu: they do?
Korel Laloix: And I see what it means, but never have managed to use it correctly..
Eos Amaterasu: hmm
Eos Amaterasu: the interesting thing is that even or especially in the middle of intensity there can be a sudden flash of dropping that
Eos Amaterasu: especially with emotional upheavals
Eos Amaterasu: you find that it disappears, but then you instantly try to recreate it
Eos Amaterasu: because it's more familiar and less threatening than what's on the other side of my holding on
Eos Amaterasu: kind of embarrassing
Eos Amaterasu: we can thank monkey mind, actually :-)
Eos Amaterasu: we get distracted from our big thing
Eos Amaterasu: just for a second
Korel Laloix: We like our ruts... regardless of how painful they are.
Eos Amaterasu: that's an opening
Eos Amaterasu: yes
Eos Amaterasu: that's me, I tell myself
Korel Laloix: I have to say I like change...
Korel Laloix: Which is good and bad.
Eos Amaterasu: do you feel it's time for a change?
Korel Laloix: Difficult question.
Korel Laloix: I have so much change going on in my life, that my desire for change is taken care of.
Eos Amaterasu: what do you like about change?
Korel Laloix: Change has almost always landed me in a better situation.
Korel Laloix: Maybe I am just lucky that way though.
Eos Amaterasu: Confidence in change may be different from wishful thinking?
Korel Laloix: My life is so simple in a lot of ways, that what might be very drastic change to some might be just a minor inconvenience to me.
Eos Amaterasu: change..... 90 seconds worth coming up

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: Speaking of pain, this poem by Muso Soseki from the SL retreat that just happened:

Year after year 
I dug in the earth
looking for the blue of heaven 
only to feel
the pile of dirt
choking me
until once in the dead of night
I tripped on a broken brick
and kicked it into the air
and saw that without a thought
I had smashed the bones
of the empty sky

Korel Laloix: I need to read through those.
Eos Amaterasu: maybe it's noticing the without a thought aspect of being pissed and kicking a brick and the pain of that
Eos Amaterasu: lots of nothing :-)
Eos Amaterasu: vividly
Eos Amaterasu: painfully
Korel Laloix: Very
Korel Laloix: Thanks for the chat and poem.. back to the books.
Eos Amaterasu: thanks Korel
Korel Laloix: Take care... smiles
Eos Amaterasu: will also call it a night
Eos Amaterasu: ciao!