2014.06.22 07:00 - a context safe for expression

The Guardian for this meeting was Bleu Oleander. The comments are by Bleu Oleander.

Bleu Oleander: 's current display-name is "Bleu".
Eliza Madrigal: 's current display-name is "Eliza".
Bleu Oleander: hey Eliza :)
Bleu Oleander: Aggers :)
Agatha Macbeth: Bleuji ♥
Agatha Macbeth: Lizji ♥
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Bleu, Aggers :)
Bleu Oleander: ♥♥
Bleu Oleander: how's your week been?
Eliza Madrigal: dramatic, heartbreaking
Agatha Macbeth: Mine has been somewhat warm
Bleu Oleander listens
Eliza Madrigal: younger daughter moved out yesterday... just harder than I thought it would be
Agatha Macbeth: Aww *hugs*
Bleu Oleander: ah yes, I can imagine!
Eliza Madrigal: she and little cat
Bleu Oleander: awww
Bleu Oleander: your son still at home?
Eliza Madrigal: I've known for a long time and thought I was prepared... but, no. :) My only consolation is that she found herself less prepared than she thought too
Eliza Madrigal: yes, and oldest daughter, who has one more semester of university left
Eliza Madrigal: things are happening out of order!
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Agatha Macbeth: No amount of preperation prepares you for something like that i think
Bleu Oleander: ah ok so still some at home :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes, but not her :( she wasn't supposed to go yet
Eliza Madrigal: she failed to consult my plan book!
Bleu Oleander: cover of NYTimes mag is boomerang kids :)
Eliza Madrigal: haha, yes I saw that headline
Bleu Oleander: so might be back lol
Eliza Madrigal: hahah
Eliza Madrigal: well, I do wish the best for her of course
Bleu Oleander: of course!
Eliza Madrigal: and thankfully still in state
Agatha Macbeth smiles
Bleu Oleander: is she still close by?
Eliza Madrigal: about an hr away, but with my new schedule and son's, it might be difficult to see very often - will have to 'plan'
Eliza Madrigal: yuk
Agatha Macbeth: Will that affect SL?
Bleu Oleander: I regret having moved so far away from my family ... hard to plan visits now
Eliza Madrigal: new schedule? yes maybe, although my SL time is pretty small now
Eliza Madrigal: you moved for school right?
Agatha Macbeth: True :(
Bleu Oleander: yes
Bleu Oleander: flipped back and forth and eventually stayed here
Eliza Madrigal: my mom moved away from me when I was about 23
Bleu Oleander: now I love it here, but no family:)
Eliza Madrigal: that's hard, Bleu... bet hard for them too
Agatha Macbeth: Relatives can be a two edged sword
Bleu Oleander: yes :)
Bleu Oleander: I keep telling them to come into sl ha ha!
Agatha Macbeth: Good idea
Eliza Madrigal: I've rarely heard of that working :) but a few times
Bleu Oleander: no takers :(
Agatha Macbeth: Trouble is SL is not for everyone I think
Eliza Madrigal: the Creations sim I've mentioned, began because family wanted to communicate across country
Eliza Madrigal: yes Aggers
Eliza Madrigal: the kids have never been interested in SL... just my son for a few weeks, helping me build things
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: well, I keep telling myself that her move is an example of the things people do, to build character... bravely try to set out on one's own, etc
Bleu Oleander: :)
Agatha Macbeth: Just growing up
Eliza Madrigal: I did it.. moved out on my 18th birthday, after a series of false starts
Bleu Oleander: I waited until after college, but being in college is kinda like moving out in a way
Bleu Oleander: especially if you go to college far away
Eliza Madrigal: yes, the irony is that I have sort of nudged my oldest daughter to have more adventures... go a bit farther, seek internships. She's perfectly content here
Bleu Oleander: be careful what you ask for ....
Eliza Madrigal: :) yes, now I know
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eliza Madrigal: anyway, thanks for letting me share about it... eyes are swollen up like grapefruits
Bleu Oleander gives Eliza a hug
Agatha Macbeth: Only to be expected
Eliza Madrigal: ((((((thank you)))))) it really does help
Bleu Oleander: it does!
Bleu Oleander: friends and family are a key component for happiness I think
Bleu Oleander: and health apparently
Eliza Madrigal: indeed... I think because my relationship with parents has been so complicated in some ways, I didn't realize
Eliza Madrigal: attachment is bittersweet
Bleu Oleander: people who need people ...
Eliza Madrigal: lol
Eliza Madrigal: thanks Barbra
Bleu Oleander: :)
Eliza Madrigal: so what is going on with you two?
Agatha Macbeth: The elephant?
Agatha Macbeth: Not a lot
Agatha Macbeth: Gardening
Bleu Oleander: good salons, sunny hot, dogs getting me up too early ....
Agatha Macbeth: Maybe you need cats instead
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Bleu Oleander: hehe
Eliza Madrigal: what salon topics? go to see the brains?
Bleu Oleander: next go around :)
Agatha Macbeth: ^.^
Bleu Oleander: we see the brains july 3
Bleu Oleander: had a great one on "spit"
Eliza Madrigal: @@
Bleu Oleander: amazing what they can tell from saliva samples
Eliza Madrigal: DNA
Agatha Macbeth: Ick
Bleu Oleander: a new research dept at ASU
Eliza Madrigal: oh, interesting
Bleu Oleander: DNA yes, but much more
Eliza Madrigal listens
Bleu Oleander: may replace blood tests for many things
Bleu Oleander: cortisol levels for stress for example
Bleu Oleander: drugs
Agatha Macbeth: Better than having needles shoved in you
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, that's really helpful
Bleu Oleander: yes
Agatha Macbeth: I feel like a pincushion sometimes
Bleu Oleander: lots of things ... research only just beginning
Eliza Madrigal: cortisol has its use, but often tied to unhehlpful inflammation...so aging too early, etc.
Bleu Oleander: yes
Bleu Oleander: so this kind of testing could be very helpful
Eliza Madrigal: yes, great
Bleu Oleander: also being done on animals in captivity
Bleu Oleander: in attempts to reduce their stress levels
Eliza Madrigal: wonderful
Bleu Oleander: so stay tuned :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Bleu Oleander: also had a salon on dating ancient artifacts
--BELL--
Agatha Macbeth: ♪ ♫
Agatha Macbeth: Oh that's always a fun one!
Bleu Oleander: major lab in Tucson involved in many well publicized stories ... "shroud of Turin" and recently "gospel of Jesus' wife" ... C14 dating and how they do it ... very interesting!
Bleu Oleander: "dead sea scrolls"
Agatha Macbeth: Think the Shroud was dated to around 14th century?
Bleu Oleander: fun stuff
Agatha Macbeth: think*
Bleu Oleander: yes, 14th C
Bleu Oleander: we have one coming up on "self, science and Buddhism" :)
Eliza Madrigal: sounds like one to podcast, Bleu :)
Agatha Macbeth: The tao of physics? :p
Bleu Oleander: so many interesting ones this summer
Bleu Oleander: keeps us out of trouble lol
Agatha Macbeth: Yep
Agatha Macbeth: Hopefully the rooms have a/c too!
Bleu Oleander: they do!
Bleu Oleander: everything in az is a/c'd
Agatha Macbeth: Doubt it would be habitable otherwise...
Bleu Oleander: wouldn't for sure!
Bleu Oleander: "but its a dry heat" lol
Agatha Macbeth: Yes, not as bad
Eliza Madrigal: better for hair :)
Bleu Oleander: yes!!
Eliza Madrigal: I was looking through meet-ups, but most of the groups that seem to be trying to do similar are college groups... have been hoping to find something or make something with similar balances to what we have here, where there is a wide range of inquiry ...
Agatha Macbeth: Think the middle east is the hottest place on the planet
Eliza Madrigal: people seem to really divide themselves across either decidedly spiritual or not spiritual lines
Bleu Oleander: yes too bad that
Agatha Macbeth: In SL or RL?
Bleu Oleander: our group doesn't do that ... a good thing
Eliza Madrigal: when I see the meetups and types of groups here I see it, and even here in SL I think it leans that way
Bleu Oleander: we are a real mix of ideas ... but we really try to keep that ... hard sometimes
Agatha Macbeth: Polytechnics
Eliza Madrigal: the UU church does OK sometimes, but then they are strongly political, so that gets sketchy too
Agatha Macbeth: Oh?
Bleu Oleander: try to present a range of topics and have a wide ranging conversation
Agatha Macbeth: What kind of politics Liz?
Eliza Madrigal: Maybe it is that here we try to get under that a bit
Eliza Madrigal: well in the UU church it is very democrat/humanist oriented
Eliza Madrigal: which is fine, but also has a particular 'flavor'
Agatha Macbeth: Ah, good
Eliza Madrigal: which doesn't lend itself to wide range really
Bleu Oleander: right
Agatha Macbeth: At least they aren't raving bigots then :p
Eliza Madrigal: well no one thinks they are :)
Bleu Oleander: need lots of diff voices to be interesting for me anyway
Agatha Macbeth: Hehe
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Agatha Macbeth: A kaleidoscope of opinion
Bleu Oleander: nice
Agatha Macbeth wonders if they still make those
Bleu Oleander: probably
Agatha Macbeth: Yay
Eliza Madrigal: it is really hard to achieve, because it isn't fun to stay neutral all the time
Eliza Madrigal: someone has to be able to safely take contrary views, even if they aren't one's own
Agatha Macbeth: Not to mention quite impossible sometimes
Eliza Madrigal: yes!
Bleu Oleander: not neutral as a whole ... lots of different voices accepting each other so definitely not neutral
Agatha Macbeth nods
Bleu Oleander: yes, a context safe for expression is what we try to do with our group
Eliza Madrigal: "safe for expression" nice
Bleu Oleander: we have some pretty strong disagreements that make for very interesting evenings!!
Eliza Madrigal: but people come back? :)
Bleu Oleander: an open space for the exchange of ideas
Bleu Oleander: yep, keep coming back!
Agatha Macbeth grins
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: oldest daughter and friends play board games all the time, and it might be very similar. there are some who are prone to stomping off and getting mad if they don't win - they know the games are not their group of friends
Eliza Madrigal: so they always come back
Agatha Macbeth: Ah, sounds familiar
Agatha Macbeth: Scrabble? monopoly?
Eliza Madrigal: all sorts of things
Eliza Madrigal: monopoly is a big one
Bleu Oleander: some very strong friendships (and marriages) have happened over the years in our group
Agatha Macbeth: Can play them all on a monitor these days
Eliza Madrigal: sweet :))
Agatha Macbeth: Bit like SL then
Eliza Madrigal: they're pretty old school about their games Aggers :)
Eliza Madrigal: host any weddings Bleu?
Bleu Oleander: that's interesting ... didn't know monopoly was still happening
Agatha Macbeth: Mm, understood
Agatha Macbeth: Yep
Bleu Oleander: no, haven't hosted any ... been to many though
Agatha Macbeth: Backgammon is a fave of mine
Bleu Oleander: people seem to get engaged on our trips :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Agatha Macbeth: Oh wow
Bleu Oleander: I used to love backgammon
Bleu Oleander: don't play much anymore though
Eliza Madrigal: shared community is really important to a relationship
Bleu Oleander: yes
Agatha Macbeth: Something like that probaly brings like minded people more together
Eliza Madrigal: seems so obvious to me now but didn't when I married so young
Bleu Oleander: so how large can we stretch our shared communities?
Eliza Madrigal: I wonder
Agatha Macbeth: Find a bigger building? :p
Bleu Oleander: :P
Eliza Madrigal: do they always pivot on particularly far reaching individuals?
Bleu Oleander: a global challenge i think
Eliza Madrigal nods
Agatha Macbeth ponders far reaching individuals
Bleu Oleander: wide minds
Eliza Madrigal: am thinking of a friend of mine, who calls herself "the glue" of her family
Eliza Madrigal: if not for her, they'd never get together, have reunions, etc
Eliza Madrigal: she bosses everyone around :)
Bleu Oleander: I function a little like that for my family :)
Agatha Macbeth: Organisation can be a good thing!
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Agatha Macbeth: Sadly I'm not much good at it
Eliza Madrigal: think not?
Bleu Oleander: it does take a mover/shaker type to keep things going over long distances and busy schedules
Agatha Macbeth: Not really
Agatha Macbeth: Yeh
Bleu Oleander: we focus too much on our work schedules these days
Eliza Madrigal nods... that seems true... it gets the priority spot
Agatha Macbeth: Can be tricky
Eliza Madrigal: understandably, and yet... without the other stuff what is work supporting?
Bleu Oleander: right
Bleu Oleander: too much emphasis on the money
Agatha Macbeth: Work to live, don't live to work
Bleu Oleander: and buying more, bigger stuff
Eliza Madrigal: yes... have been trying to address that imbalance in my own life for a few years... sometimes drastic
Eliza Madrigal: not as easy to de-tangle from years and years of a certain way of thinking
Eliza Madrigal: as just realizing it
Bleu Oleander: indeed
Agatha Macbeth: True that
Bleu Oleander: I try to stay out of the malls and watch less TV ... seems to help a lot
Eliza Madrigal: agreed, and not let catalogs stream in endlessly
Bleu Oleander: yes
Agatha Macbeth: I would think it helps a lot
Bleu Oleander: avoid slippery place hehe
Eliza Madrigal: "know thyself"
Bleu Oleander: although the internet can be very slippery
Eliza Madrigal: I'm still pretty susceptible to some things
Eliza Madrigal: yes! bingo
Agatha Macbeth: Mmm
Bleu Oleander: have to hide my mouse lol
--BELL--
Bleu Oleander: actually having dogs helps too
Eliza Madrigal: I 'window shop' online a lot, and save things to pinterest, which seems to quell the shopping urge
Eliza Madrigal: does it Bleu?
Agatha Macbeth: Woof
Bleu Oleander: yes sl shopping can take place of rl shopping urge
Bleu Oleander: yes, dogs keep you humble
Agatha Macbeth: 'Feed me'
Eliza Madrigal: I'm still on the fence about a dog... daughter has a shepherd now...so sweet but so much work
Agatha Macbeth: No sheep then?
Bleu Oleander: less emphasis on how one looks ... more on feeding playing with them
Eliza Madrigal: nice
Bleu Oleander: yes a lot of work ... that's the idea
Bleu Oleander: and can't wear designer clothes
Eliza Madrigal: I saw a bumpersticker the other day "I love my grand dogs"
Eliza Madrigal: so cute
Bleu Oleander: ha ha!
Agatha Macbeth: Oh my
Bleu Oleander: they come get me if i'm on the computer too long
Bleu Oleander: help with balance
Eliza Madrigal: now THAT is helpful
Agatha Macbeth: Maybe they think it's their turn
Eliza Madrigal: hehe
Bleu Oleander: and it is!!
Bleu Oleander: football
Bleu Oleander: our younger one loves to play ... several times a day!
Eliza Madrigal: am afraid to take in another being to attach to
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Agatha Macbeth: True Liz
Bleu Oleander: I love my attachments :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes :) as much as right now I'm in the thick of feeling the sting of attachment, that IS what life is, the beauty of feeling it all
Agatha Macbeth: Agreed

(at this point a visitor arrived who wished not to be included on the wiki so some conversation was deleted)

--BELL--
Bleu Oleander: well I have to get going ... 
Bleu Oleander: hope you'll join us again
Eliza Madrigal: okay Bleu, thanks for hosting this morning
Agatha Macbeth smiles

Bleu Oleander: and take care everyone ... have a good week
Eliza Madrigal: you too!
Agatha Macbeth hugs Liz & Bleuji
Bleu Oleander: hugs!

Agatha Macbeth: TC
Bleu Oleander: bye for now