2015.07.21 13:00 - Noise and Quiet

The Guardian for this meeting was Darren Islar...

Qt Core: Hi Darren
Darren Islar: hey QT

--BELL--

Darren Islar: it's a bit silent today
Qt Core: yes, i even kept the car radio shut for most of my driving (i usually switch it on even before the engine)
Darren Islar: you needed some silence?
Qt Core: then and you being here alone... you know what they say about people speaking to themselves ;-)
Darren Islar: no?
Qt Core: maybe it is only the heat, hearing some dj happy in his air conditioned studio...
Qt Core: (they call them mad)
Darren Islar: I read somewhere that it is no problem you speak to yourself, answering yourself though is ... well... not good :)
Qt Core: most of the times i speak to myself is to insult myself for something stupid i just did
Darren Islar: yes I do too, or when I'm angry with someone while driving ... Ava tells me I start to talk Dutch doing that :)
Qt Core: i usually more than angry with other drivers got surprised, i can stand breaking the rules/street laws, but stupidity (and risking others lives) ...
Darren Islar: often it is just getting surprised
Darren Islar: do you handle silence well?
Qt Core: no, not really
Qt Core: that is silence where my mind isn't occopied otherwise
Darren Islar: yes, that si what I mean
Darren Islar: but I also like silence while I drive or work
Qt Core: when i bought my first car i explicitly asked for no radio in it as i just got my driving licence and thought it would distract me too much
Darren Islar: hehehe
Qt Core: but now, a couple decades later i can't think about driving in silence (as if roads were a silent place)
Darren Islar: no, it's not a silent place, but it's different than having a radio on ... after a while I notice it gets to me, even when I like the music

--BELL--

Qt Core: before starting to read a lot in english on my pc and chatting in english i used to listen to rl or online radios, now i don't as if i mix languages i end up not understanding both and getting nervous
Qt Core: (in the years that faded but then become used to me at the pc without a radio running)
Qt Core: *be
Darren Islar: yes you get used to it, using different languages, it's weird though, some words I hardly use in Dutch and when I haven't used them for a while I can only remember the English word
Qt Core: the worse my mood is the more i need a radio running not to keep brooding
Darren Islar: yes, we live in world of distractions
Darren Islar: it might be interesting though to be silent in that moment, especially that moment
Qt Core: yes, but laziness and fear of pain usually win

Darren Islar: do you meditate sometimes?
Qt Core: no
Darren Islar: ok
Darren Islar: fear if pain is I think far most number one in the list of why we like to be distracted
Darren Islar: and maybe fear for leaving routine
Qt Core: agreed
Darren Islar: getting away from routine seems like opening a space in which I start to wonder whether the routine I have is actually the right one. For instance, how can I be more aware of my body and what it needs
Darren Islar: throws a shoe at the bell
Darren Islar: to
Qt Core: if we could just see it ;-)

Qt Core: the most meditative thing i think i ever do is sometimes try not to think, sometimes just to listen to someone speaking (cough sermons cough) sometimes just to rest my mind

--BELL--

Darren Islar: Listening is important
Darren Islar: not many can do that well these days
Darren Islar: especially when emotions come to play, I only hear what they start to say, then I think I already know what they want to tell me and answer before my turn
Qt Core: i know people that don't listen, just notice you are speaking, think what is what you would probably being asking and answer that question even if it has nothing to do with what you were saying
Darren Islar: yes
Darren Islar: I had a co-worker who thought I was stupid (low IQ), but he was only answering his own questions
Qt Core: (i can excuse it from a couple of almost deaf people i know, and they usually notice your weirded out face at their answer)
Darren Islar: that's a different situation
Qt Core: sure
Darren Islar: it takes more effort to talk with the deaf ... they listen better to your body-language though than not-deaf peopel do
Qt Core: i have an almost deaf uncle, they day he retired removed his ear implant saying something like: now i have no one to listen to ;-)
Darren Islar: hehe
Darren Islar: did he have a wife or was she not worth to listen to :)
Qt Core: he had a wife (dead now) and three sons and two daughter now some son/doughter in law and greatchildren too
Qt Core: (and all of them now strangely speak very loud ;-) )
Darren Islar: hahaha
Darren Islar: I can understand the irritation of a hearing-aid though, but I would find it hard to only hear half of what somebody says
Darren Islar: though when more people are talking it seems a hearing-aid is horrible
Qt Core: even without one trying to follow multiple noise/sound sources is hard
Darren Islar: maybe it was easier to his ear
Darren Islar: and maybe he liked silence :)
Qt Core: maybe it is only that i'm getting old too, but the more years pass the less serious and less unapproachable i find him, when little i always found him far and stern

--BELL--

Darren Islar: my father was what we call East-Indisch deaf ... meaning he only listened when he chose to, or maybe in his case to concentrated on other things ... now he is becoming really deaf, but his distance to us hasn't grown ... nor got less though either :)
Qt Core: in italian is "fare l'indiano" (do [it like] an indian) ;-)
Darren Islar: those Indians :)
Qt Core: have you ever seen thge Sissi movies... the old emperor ;-)
Darren Islar: it's probably in their culture not to hear everything
Darren Islar: no, I got bored
Qt Core: they have funny part, mostly about sissi father, the old emperor and the clumsy soldier
Qt Core: (but a little slow too for modern standards... again distractions and need for speed/action/immediate gratification
Darren Islar: is there a clumsy soldier in it ... then I missed something
Darren Islar: yes, but was also bored 30 years ago, not my type of movie
Darren Islar: well, time to go
Qt Core: oh, yes, i need am early start tomorrow, better to go
Darren Islar: hope to see you next tie
Darren Islar: sleep well
Qt Core: you too, bye