2015.02.01 07:00 - Any Regrets?

The Guardian for this meeting was Adams Rubble. The comments are by Adams Rubble.

No regrets for me. Nice to see Raffila and Wol this morning for a whirlwind conversation.

Adams Rubble: Hello Raffia :)
Raffila Millgrove: Hi Adams.
Adams Rubble: I have not seen you in a long time
Raffila Millgrove: I read that this is your time. I can't figure out when anyone is here. these days.
Adams Rubble: well nice to see you :)
Raffila Millgrove: you too.
Raffila Millgrove: what is new by you?
Adams Rubble: mostly the same :)
Adams Rubble: how about you?
Raffila Millgrove: all different for me. I went to Japan to see granddaughter born and then.. the family came back to live in US and they have been with me.. living with me. I have been alone (with hubby in and out) for ten years, been very strange to have house full of people and baby too.
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: baby... is now 14 mos. been very thrilling and exciting.
Adams Rubble: I can imagine
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: that part has been so fun.
Adams Rubble: the Japan experience must have been exciting
Raffila Millgrove: I did a big renovation in house before they came. mostly do it myself. found out I am Not a good painter at all. I am great at caulk tho.. not much call for caulkers but i sure loved that part and really good at it.
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: caulking is very important in the cold climes
Adams Rubble: keep out the cold
Raffila Millgrove: well i have been to Tokyo.. previously.. several times over 40 plus yr.. so the Tokyo stay was more medical than fun. Daughter didn't do well. lot of upset in that bit.. I went to china on way home. Shanghai.. that was fantastic. have you been there?
Adams Rubble: no, I am not much of a traveler. We hope to go there
Raffila Millgrove: ah. wow. it's the city of the future. i just had to see it. It was more fabulous than i had even guessed. you cannot appreicate until you are really INSIDE It.. it's such a strange place. like a fantasy world.
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: they just built everything on top of everything else. when you drive thru it.. on freeway. wow it's like a disneyland ride.. you think also you might die any minute with the ... crazy traffic.
Adams Rubble: !!!
Raffila Millgrove: it's so exciting to be there. i just loved it. i would never live in it, but to be there and see it. wow i rate it very high.. for visiting.
Adams Rubble: thank you for the tip
Raffila Millgrove: amazing inexpensive also.
Adams Rubble: Did you find Tokyo expensive?
Raffila Millgrove: subway rides 20 -30 cents. cabs: 1.50.
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: that IS cheap
Raffila Millgrove: well tokyo... i know Tokyo.. so i can go on the cheap there.
Raffila Millgrove: the restaurants compared to US.. they've become rather inexpensive by comparison. It used to feel very expensive there to me.. not so much this last time.
Raffila Millgrove: the best part of Tokyo for us.. this time.. was the Shinto ceremony. the other grandma let me wear the kimono... and present baby.. it was .. oh .. i was so touched.
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: that was nice of her
Raffila Millgrove: baby goes to temple of Shinto.. on 30 days.. to be presented to communuity.. that they are safely ok.....
Raffila Millgrove: the kimono is wrapped all around baby and the paternal grandma.. it is very big honor that the granny let me take her place.
Raffila Millgrove: it is like our christening ceremony.
Adams Rubble nods
--BELL--
Raffila Millgrove: parents picked a name for baby that is both Japanese and English. the kanji.. they sound the same both langues. Ju... li.... a 3 kanji. Julia. She looks very Asian but has dark born hair instead of black.
Raffila Millgrove: so she has one name to be both japanese and American.
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: do you have grandchildren yet Adams?
Adams Rubble: will they be staying in US or going back to Japan?
Adams Rubble: I have a granddaughter
Raffila Millgrove: they are staying here. they lived there 5 yrs. now. they will stay here in US... the husband my son in law got a wonderful job too...
Raffila Millgrove: is she nearby to you?
Adams Rubble: no, on the west coast
Raffila Millgrove: oh.
Raffila Millgrove: i feel so lucky to have the baby right in house to watch her everyday. she's been so interesting. i forgot how interesting a baby can be.. day to day.
Adams Rubble: Yes, very nice
Raffila Millgrove: it made me have many memory flashback of own years with my babies. made me feel really old. haha.
Adams Rubble: well, feeling old sometimes can't be helped :)
Raffila Millgrove: but also nice to relive happy memories too.
Adams Rubble: yes
Raffila Millgrove: my son.. i wait many years for him to get a baby. finally he got one.. so i have suddenly two grand daughters only six weeks apart.
Adams Rubble: we just have to keep remembering how blessed we are to have reached a ripe old age :)
Raffila Millgrove: so i spent all year mostly just interested in them.. it was my .. last wish.. to live to see my grand children.. so now i am ok. i got everything I wanted in this life.
Adams Rubble: two is nice
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: it is kind of a relief to know.. that you got all you wanted.. a lot of people end up feeling they missed stuff. so i feel lukcy. do you think you missed stuff?
Adams Rubble: I am satisfied with the life I have had. When I think of a choice I could have made that would have made it different, then I realize I would have missed out on the things I experienced
Raffila Millgrove: ah. so you can identify.. that you made a clear cut decision that.. affected outcomes. ?
Adams Rubble: oh yes
Raffila Millgrove: do you think we sometimes make choices.. that we are not aware.. that we made one? When you made the choice Adams.. did you say to self anytihng about regret? did you think.. about regret.. like if this is wrong choice.. i am not going to regret.. or like that? what were you thinking when you made this choice?
Adams Rubble: definitely not :)
Adams Rubble: only in retrospect one realizes the choices put other things in motion
Raffila Millgrove: ah. so then.. when i ask was this a clear cut decision... it is only in retrospect that you think it was a choice??
Adams Rubble: no, I knew it then--things like where to go to school, where to live, career choices
Raffila Millgrove nods.
Adams Rubble: we affect others too in ways that is hard for us to see
Raffila Millgrove: sometimes i wonder.. i wish we could see a "do over".. like what might have happened if.. we'd chosen a different college...
Raffila Millgrove: or different job or partner. i would love to know.. how would things changed--turned out?
Adams Rubble: I was a rebel about choosing a college :)
Raffila Millgrove: me too.
Raffila Millgrove: lol
Raffila Millgrove: why for you?
--BELL--
Adams Rubble: I broke out of my cocoon
Adams Rubble: Hello Wol :)
Wol Euler: hello adams, hallo raffi
Adams Rubble: nice to see you :)
Wol Euler: likewise
Wol Euler smiles.
Adams Rubble: we were just talking about choices we make in life
Wol Euler: ah
Wol Euler listens.
Adams Rubble: and how it may affect our lives
Adams Rubble: but the conversation has been moving swiftly :)))
Raffila Millgrove: HI Wol.
Wol Euler smiles.
Raffila Millgrove: I was awaiting to hear how Adams.. in making college choice.. was a rebel.
Adams Rubble giggles
Wol Euler: ah :)
Adams Rubble: I broke out of my cocoon and did what people did not want me to do
Adams Rubble: it ended up changing my career; I sometimes wonder if I would have stayed on course had I toed the line
Adams Rubble: that decision ended up affecting so much
Wol Euler listens.
Raffila Millgrove: I asked if Rubble knew at the time.. that a decision would have far reaching consequences.. the choice. do we realize as we make them.. how big some might be?
Adams Rubble: I had no idea at the time; I just thought I was being independent :)
Adams Rubble: led to lots of struggle at the time too
Wol Euler nods.
Adams Rubble: not easy to be suddenly without one's coccoon
Adams Rubble wonders what happend to other caterpillars
Raffila Millgrove: does that mean Adams that you didn't go to high school reunions? is that why you don't know?
Adams Rubble has never been to a high school reunion
Wol Euler: Nor I, though the reason was largely geographical
Adams Rubble: they just had their 50th
Adams Rubble: partly geographical for me too
Raffila Millgrove: oh and you missed it? I am going to mine i think. i have served on the committee in some years.. my assessment: girls turned out remarkably well. not so much the guys.
Wol Euler: hmmmmm
Adams Rubble: :)
Raffila Millgrove: the guys got caught in that... women's changing... they mostly had stay at home moms.. they were thinking they'd live that 50's household style and it didn't turn out that way.
Wol Euler nods thoughtfully
Adams Rubble: men growing up in the 50s had much to unlearn
Adams Rubble: and not just that cars do not have tailfins
Raffila Millgrove: the younger men have had it easier in the sense of relationships and expectations. that generation took quite a jolt in trying to adjust to different expectations than what they'd grown up with.
--BELL--
Raffila Millgrove is thinking 1957 and 1959 Chevy tail fins. '58 was such a dramatic change. i still remember. (58 looks like a folded up z.. it's quite striking. they never did anything like it before or since.. it was very "quiet" looking.
Adams Rubble: That is interesting; I was thinking young men today had it rougher
Adams Rubble: The job situation is very difficult
Adams Rubble: especially for the uneducated
Wol Euler nods.
Raffila Millgrove: the job situation is actually a mixed bag.. if you chose right in ... your majors etc.. you are going to be good. if you go liberal arts majors. you will be in bad shape for career.
Raffila Millgrove: and true.. if you don't get any education.. you are really in bad shape.
Adams Rubble: I recently read that law school applications are down because people don;t feel they can make enough as lawyers to pay their college loans
Raffila Millgrove: english, education. masters.. fine arts. these are killer terrible for future career placement.
Wol Euler: dear god, if lawyers don't make enough money, what hope is there for anyone else?
Adams Rubble: we need liberal arts people in our society
Raffila Millgrove: it's all in tech and science/math and health care. the cost of the education is incredible.
Wol Euler: agreed
Raffila Millgrove: i think so too but they can't find a job.
Adams Rubble: it is tougher
Adams Rubble: need additional skills
Raffila Millgrove: the requirements for masers.. degrees programs.. to switch careers.. wow. they are ghastly. my daughter is trying to switch. we're stupified by length of time.. and costs.. they are demanding 3 years for masters degrees.
Adams Rubble: The graduate students who worked for me did quite well but the university took away their funding
Adams Rubble: yes, costs are dreadfully high
Raffila Millgrove: who can goto school for THree years for a masters? it's crazy. but it's true.
Raffila Millgrove: her Ph'd program was far less demanding in time.. i wish she'd finished it. it was 3 years!
Adams Rubble: so it may be easier for a 1950s educated man to learn women are people too than for a current young man to find a job
Adams Rubble: :)
Wol Euler smiles.
Adams Rubble: but admittedly some men are from the first category are having difficulties with that
Raffila Millgrove: hard to say. apples/oranges comparison. i guess all generations have their unique challenges.
Adams Rubble: yes, so maybe it comes back to being blessed to having reaches such a ripe age
Wol Euler: I agree, I doubt whether there ever was that mystical golden age when all were content and life was simple
Raffila Millgrove: but the outcome. looking at the men of my high school class.. i am sticking with the idea that the women fared better. ended up happier and looking much better physcially. The men of my class looks awful ...and i don't mean cosmetic.. i mean "healthy".. they dont' look as healthy.
Wol Euler: hmmm
Raffila Millgrove: oh the time goes so fast. thank you Adams for hosting us. I must run back to real time.. big hugs to you both!
Wol Euler: bye raffi, take care
Adams Rubble: yes it went fast. Thank you for the discussion
Adams Rubble: bye Raffi
Raffila Millgrove: it was good to see you both.
Wol Euler smiles.
Adams Rubble: you too
Wol Euler: I think I'm going to have some soup and go back to bed
Adams Rubble: oh, are you sick?
Wol Euler: indeed
Wol Euler: bronchitis I think, or something similar
Adams Rubble: ohh, sorry to hear that
Adams Rubble: oh my
Adams Rubble: well do take good care of yourself
Wol Euler: thank you, adams, I shall try
Adams Rubble: have you seen a doctor?
Wol Euler: and the same to you :)
Wol Euler: tomorrow morning
--BELL--
Adams Rubble: oh good. bronchitus is not to be ignored :)
Wol Euler: absolutely
Wol Euler: take care ♥

Adams Rubble gives Wol a bowl of SL Chicken soup

Wol Euler: aww thank you :) heheheeh
Adams Rubble: you take care too :)
Wol Euler: I have some cream of potato with sausage bits
Adams Rubble: that will be nice
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: bye for now
Adams Rubble: bye Wol get well

g.