2015.07.16 13:00 - Dream Session: Graciousness of the Universe

The Guardian for this meeting was Micorod Renard...

Agatha Macbeth: Wow
Agatha Macbeth: I love that hair
Catrinamonblue Resident: oh boy oh boy
Agatha Macbeth: Need a TP Liz?
Agatha Macbeth: I just double licked in
Agatha Macbeth: Or clicked even
Agatha Macbeth: Let's check out da poses
Eliza Madrigal: I feel like I've landed in a meeting of space aliances
Eliza Madrigal: fun
Agatha Macbeth ponders a space alliance
Agatha Macbeth: 'Fighting for the Federartin!'
Bruce Mowbray thinks he's not in Kansas anymore.
Eliza Madrigal grins
Agatha Macbeth waves to Mick
Agatha Macbeth: Just TP to me
Agatha Macbeth: Via the radar

Bruce Mowbray: Eliza, Mick gave me a notecard to give to you. I will find it now.
Eliza Madrigal: Ok
Eliza Madrigal: to give to me?
Agatha Macbeth: Hello Liz & Bwucie
Bruce Mowbray: I just gave it to everyone -- but I've not read it yet.
Agatha Macbeth: Do we have Mick yet?
Eliza Madrigal: Isnt it for everyone?
Bruce Mowbray: Mick said he probably would not be able to come today.
Agatha Macbeth: I was just talking to him

Bruce Mowbray: I also have a dream, but I'll need to turn it into a note card first.
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, that's difficult... since my attention is really divided today...
Mickorod Renard: I am still lost
Eliza Madrigal: but will do best
Eliza Madrigal: Want a tp Mick?
Eliza Madrigal: I think we're supposed to be lost at first, just like when we chose to come to earth...hahah
Agatha Macbeth: Where's the recorder then?
Eliza Madrigal: around the fire
Agatha Macbeth: Hi Micko
Mickorod Renard: thanku
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Mick
Agatha Macbeth: You were right below us
Mickorod Renard: phew
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: kk, I just transferred my dream to a note card...

Eliza Madrigal: do like the coppers
Agatha Macbeth: Darren evidently wants us to do some work with this one
Eliza Madrigal: golden feeling
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Mick.
Eliza Madrigal: seems so, Agatha
Mickorod Renard: Hi Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: I have just given your gun shop dream to everybody, Mick.
Mickorod Renard: yes?
Mickorod Renard: thats cool
Mickorod Renard: ty
Eliza Madrigal: and yours, Bruce?
Mickorod Renard: yes? what about urs
Bruce Mowbray: Do you want me to share my dream, too?
Bruce Mowbray: Okay, here it comes.
Agatha Macbeth: Yay dreams
Eliza Madrigal: Oh, btw Hi Cat!
Bruce Mowbray: Does everyone have mine now?
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal grins
Mickorod Renard: cheers bruce
Bruce Mowbray: :)
Agatha Macbeth: I have both TY
Catrinamonblue Resident: oui :)
Bruce Mowbray: kk, good.
Bruce Mowbray reads Mick's gun shop dream....
Agatha Macbeth: And a Miichael Buble tribute (??)
Agatha Macbeth reads

BRUCE'S DREAM

My mother and I are in a black van that she is driving. We are being chased by a car, but I have no idea who is in the car or why they are chasing us.   There is a black metal barrier behind the drivers seat.   In that barrier there is a large rectangular hole right behind the place where my mother is sitting.   She is driving very fast.   For some reason I need to climb through that whole feet first, so I tell her not to let me bother her while I crawl from the back of the van through the rectangular hole feet first.   Then I crawl back through the hole into the rear of the van and note that whoever was pursuing us is now gone.   I ask my mother if she has ever been to the place where we are going - a resort area owned by the company that we both work for.   She answers that she has never been there before, and I answer that I have not been there either.   She then says that she has been to all of the places we have driven through so far, however.   We then come to a very hilly town with brick streets with tall residential buildings that are painted on the outside with quaint flowers and decorated with identical flower boxes.  The scene strikes me as beautiful, although somewhat artificial.   My mother then drives very fast down a steep hill with these same tall buildings on both sides - all with identical flower boxes and flower paintings.   At the bottom of that hill is a lake and the resort area, which is owned by the company we both work for.   My mother is still driving and I am still a passenger sitting beside her.   I wake just before we arrive at the bottom of the hill.

Eliza Madrigal: So shall we comment on Bruce's first (shorter)? Then Mick's, then free associate? We can read both now
Mickorod Renard: i am reading Bruces
Agatha Macbeth: Shame you woke up Brucie
Bruce Mowbray: yes, I usually wake up just before the good parts.
Mickorod Renard: wow Bruce, nice dream
Agatha Macbeth: Might have found out what it was all about
Agatha Macbeth: Yeh
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: really interesting Bruce... but I think wake points are significant usually
Eliza Madrigal: where one is 'now' psychologically sometimes
Bruce Mowbray nods, agrees, listens.
Mickorod Renard: what happened to the chasing car?
Mickorod Renard: ahh yes, it went
Agatha Macbeth: This seems have an X-files feel to it
Bruce Mowbray: ooops.. I should have written, "At the bottom of that hill is a lake.. and the resort.."
Mickorod Renard: yes it does Ags

--BELL--

Bruce Mowbray still listens.
Agatha Macbeth: Sounds like Silent Hill :p
Eliza Madrigal: I read that even if you didn't write that Bruce :)
Eliza Madrigal: I speak Dragon
Bruce Mowbray: good! that helps a lot!
Catrinamonblue Resident: :) I caught it too, and understood :)

Mickorod Renard: also it reminded me of a dream that I drove down a hill towards water , it felt very run away car sort of feelingg
Eliza Madrigal: last week I parked by a lake (dream)

Bruce Mowbray: I never got a sense of the runaway car, actually.. but I always felt that my mother was driving way too fast.
Mickorod Renard: oh yes Eliza
Mickorod Renard: sorry, typing in the dark
Agatha Macbeth: So put the light on :p
Mickorod Renard: good idea
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Agatha Macbeth throws a cushion at Mick

Agatha Macbeth: No idea who was persuing you Bruce?
Bruce Mowbray: nope.
Bruce Mowbray: and they disappeared too.
Mickorod Renard: was this related to real life encounters of the past Bruce?
Agatha Macbeth: Men in black maybe?
Bruce Mowbray: I didn't even see the car; I just knew they were pursuing us.
Eliza Madrigal: Bruce's mom is really an important figure... and I'm thinking of the sense of responsibility he feels for knowing what her experience is, what she is moving away from, and how she is driving to a more 'pleasant' place, although contrived
Mickorod Renard: ie the camp site and mother?
Agatha Macbeth nods
Bruce Mowbray: not sure it's a campsite, actually. . . just a resort area by a lake.
Mickorod Renard: ok
Bruce Mowbray: :)
Bruce Mowbray: and the resort area is owned by the company that we both work for.
Eliza Madrigal: resorts are odd places.. everything built to be like a dream
Eliza Madrigal: but a little cold because of that
Bruce Mowbray agrees with Eliza about the coldness.
Mickorod Renard: but only worked for in the dream? Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: only in the dream, yes.
Eliza Madrigal: like "relax here" rather than be a relaxed person
Mickorod Renard: ty
Eliza Madrigal: not exactly about equanimity yet the best most can do, ie take times for restoration

Mickorod Renard: the resort could still be a 'gettaway'
Eliza Madrigal: true
Eliza Madrigal: I keep coming back to the cmparison of been there before vs not yet for either
Bruce Mowbray nods, I agree that that is an important item.
Mickorod Renard: yes, a link in all directions

Bruce Mowbray: after I woke up I thought it was a dream about dying...
Bruce Mowbray: ( My mother died in 1993.)
Bruce Mowbray: I very rarely dream about her, though.
Catrinamonblue Resident: maybe not dying but change.... thoughts altered?
Bruce Mowbray: certainly change... that's for sure, Cat.
Mickorod Renard: I didnt read it as a dying dream Bruce, although its likely to be diferent for me
Catrinamonblue Resident: with my mother gone now my thoughts of her are so differnt........
Bruce Mowbray: does anyone know what to make of the tall buildings with painted flowers and flower boxes -- all identical?
Mickorod Renard: ah yes, i nearly overlooked those Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: ooops, looks like Eliza has poofed.

Agatha Macbeth: We lost Liz :(
Agatha Macbeth: Aha
Agatha Macbeth: WB
Bruce Mowbray: wb, Eliza

Mickorod Renard: very unusual visuality there, no idea what that could mean Bruce
Eliza Madrigal: apologies.... puppy actually turned off the power switch, hah
Bruce Mowbray: woof woof!
Mickorod Renard: a sort of softness and hardness
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Agatha Macbeth: Y'now I was just about to say Did George jump on the keyboard?
Agatha Macbeth: :D
Bruce Mowbray: George looks so much like my Bear Dog looked when he was a puppy!
Eliza Madrigal: he's smart. :) I gave him a small bag to play with now so let's see how much time it buys me
Eliza Madrigal: awww Bruce (( ))
Bruce Mowbray: :)
Agatha Macbeth: Usually cats who do that
Bruce Mowbray: I'll try to remember to send you some photos, Eliza.
Eliza Madrigal: thank you, would love that :))

Eliza Madrigal: okay let me find the dreams again....
Bruce Mowbray: so maybe it's time to go on to Mick's dream.
Mickorod Renard: I wouldnt want to pry too much but was your relationship with your mum a take the rough with the smooth, if you know what i mean
Eliza Madrigal: did I miss your sensibilities about your dream Bruce?
Eliza Madrigal: what you felt?

Bruce Mowbray: yes I do know what you mean and it was a rough relationship... especially in the last decade of her life.
Mickorod Renard: ahh ok, ty Bruce
Catrinamonblue Resident: hugs Bruce... me too.... with my mom
Bruce Mowbray: there were times that I felt she was quite out of control - - and I thought maybe that had something to do with racing down the steep hill...
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Mickorod Renard: I wonder if the dream was trying to reconcile the harsh and the loving,,in the flowers and buildings
Eliza Madrigal: that's natural, to feel that...guess the feeling never goes completely away?
Bruce Mowbray: and also with the importance of maintaining a " pleasant" image - - which might be represented by the tall buildings with painted flowers on them.
Mickorod Renard: yes, could be Bruce

Bruce Mowbray: and of course, if I follow that line of reasoning, the resort might imply an afterlife....
Bruce Mowbray: which I woke up before I had a chance to experience...
Eliza Madrigal: sounded like you were trying to understand her and your karma together
Bruce Mowbray: I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. Ha Ha.
Mickorod Renard: ahh yes, yes you wouldnt want to follow
Mickorod Renard: :)
Bruce Mowbray: understanding her and our karma was a lifelong project, Eliza... one that I never felt very successful with, actually.
Eliza Madrigal nods.. no closure int the dream
Mickorod Renard: I am sorry, I have a crisis and have to go

Bruce Mowbray: I felt it was somewhat significant that she was driving a black van...
Bruce Mowbray: okay Mick. be safe.
Mickorod Renard: may be abck in a while

--BELL--

Mickorod Renard: c u soon
Bruce Mowbray: , I hope so take care
Agatha Macbeth: Oh dear
Eliza Madrigal: okay Mick bfn
Agatha Macbeth: TC Mick
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye Mick
Eliza Madrigal: black van is a stark image
Bruce Mowbray: I'll bet it's the grandchildren again.
Bruce Mowbray: yes the black van is a stark image -- and also the rectangle in the metal right behind my mothers head.
Eliza Madrigal: did it feel ominous? or mysterious?
Bruce Mowbray: it felt a bit ominous, yes, but not overwhelmingly so.
Eliza Madrigal: I think of it as something that tries to conceal
Bruce Mowbray: you mean the color black, Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal: like, celebrities are carried around in black vans... or, gangsters :)
Bruce Mowbray: ahhh, I see now.

Catrinamonblue Resident: I've typed a bunch of times and backtracked.... I'm finding my view of your dream overlaid by my own emotions about my mom.....
Catrinamonblue Resident: I'm going to sit on my hands now and just listen :)
Eliza Madrigal thinks its okay to share personal associations .... sometimes they are archtypical
Bruce Mowbray: I think that's inevitable, Cat. . . .
Bruce Mowbray: I know that when others talk about their mothers -- and especially when they talk about conflicts with their mothers, that it's impossible for me not to relate to that in some way from my own experience.
Eliza Madrigal nods
Bruce Mowbray: so it's perfectly okay to do that.

Catrinamonblue Resident: when I first read about the houses I though of Newfoundland, where my mom grew up. While the houses are not identicle they are very colourful
Bruce Mowbray: ahhh!
Bruce Mowbray: I love the Maritimes!
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I felt the racing was perhaps her needing to show you something before time ran out??? not sure but that was my first impression of the speed
Eliza Madrigal: mmm
Bruce Mowbray: well, maybe I should interject something about the speed of the vehicle...
Bruce Mowbray: my father never allowed my mother to drive.
Bruce Mowbray: while he was alive.
Bruce Mowbray: he died when I was 19, so I never see my mother drive before.
Eliza Madrigal: wow
Bruce Mowbray: I don't know why it was, but I always felt that when I was a passenger with her and she was driving, she always drove too fast.
Eliza Madrigal: manic energy?
Bruce Mowbray: maybe that's just my projection, or maybe a neurotic sort of judgment of her, but that's how I felt.
Bruce Mowbray: yes a sort of manic energy.
Agatha Macbeth: Hi Wollie ♥
Agatha Macbeth: Want a TP?
Bruce Mowbray: she also picked me up after I finished my hike across America...
Eliza Madrigal: maybe her own restlessness you couldn't help but pick up on

Agatha Macbeth: Ah you're here
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Wol :)
Bruce Mowbray: Hi, Wol.
Wol Euler: evening all
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Wol :)

Bruce Mowbray: and I remember that riding in a car for the first time in three months seemed like a rocket ship to me.
Bruce Mowbray: and I specifically remember asking her to slow down because of that.
Eliza Madrigal: hmmm
Bruce Mowbray: so that might have been some part of the dream too.
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Agatha Macbeth nods too
Eliza Madrigal: and black van could be a kind of bullet feeling, or void-ish
Bruce Mowbray: void-ish, yes.
Bruce Mowbray: Wol, you have a copy of the dream?
Agatha Macbeth: : ponders void-ish
Wol Euler: not yet
Bruce Mowbray: kk, just a sec please.
Wol Euler: I do now, thanks
Agatha Macbeth: I got it Bruce
Eliza Madrigal considers how often children feel that way with parents who are absorbed in own troubles... considers my own...
Bruce Mowbray: there you go.

Eliza Madrigal: and can you say more about the rectangle? was it in the car floor? or?
Bruce Mowbray: no the rectangle was right behind my mother's head, in a metal barrier behind her
Eliza Madrigal: trying to picture :)
Eliza Madrigal: hindsight
Bruce Mowbray: for some reason or another I felt I needed to climb through that barrier feet first
Wol Euler: I imagine something like the screen barrier in NY taxis
Bruce Mowbray: yes like those to New York taxis. . . excellent image.
Bruce Mowbray: except this was a van... a black van.
Bruce Mowbray: does anyone know if Mick has returned yet?
Eliza Madrigal: he would probably say so
Agatha Macbeth: Guess he's still away
Bruce Mowbray nods.
Bruce Mowbray: kk.
Bruce Mowbray: np.
Eliza Madrigal: we can continue this dream and have the other for next time
Catrinamonblue Resident: I apologize but I'm going to have to go......
Catrinamonblue Resident: sry guys
Eliza Madrigal: OK Cat, ntsy anyway
Bruce Mowbray: kk, Cat.
Bruce Mowbray: thanks for coming today.
Wol Euler: bye Cat, take care
Agatha Macbeth: ^.^
Eliza Madrigal: (dog finally fell asleep at my feet)
Wol Euler: heheheh

Bruce Mowbray: I still feel that the "resort" has something to do with an afterlife....
Agatha Macbeth: Gently George
Agatha Macbeth: Hm
Eliza Madrigal: an idea of an afterlife escape that will be better than before
Bruce Mowbray: (lucky puppy).
Eliza Madrigal: where things are pretty
Eliza Madrigal: strange question but did your mom sort of cover troubles with decor/beauty?
Bruce Mowbray: yes, she did. she was a piece at any price type of person...
Bruce Mowbray: but she also stirred up lots and lots of mischief.
Wol Euler intuits that Bruce is being typed by the Dragon :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Bruce Mowbray: (quite manipulative with males - - -)
Bruce Mowbray: yes I'm using the Dragon today, alas.
Bruce Mowbray: peace at any price. ha ha.
Bruce Mowbray: not piece.

--BELL--

Agatha Macbeth: Piece in our time
Eliza Madrigal: sometimes when people are like that they can't face their own life or feel powerless in it
Eliza Madrigal: I saw it with both mother and MIL and SIL...
Bruce Mowbray: I do think my mother felt powerless -- especially around men.
Bruce Mowbray: my father was very autocratic and dominant...
Agatha Macbeth: Good old Mil and Sil
Eliza Madrigal: well yes, you mention your father didn't let her drive
Bruce Mowbray: when he died I remember feeling it was the best thing that could've happened for our family.
Eliza Madrigal: haha Aggers
Bruce Mowbray: it emancipated my mother.
Eliza Madrigal: sad, Bruce :(
Eliza Madrigal: but I understand that feeling
Wol Euler nods.

Bruce Mowbray: my father would not let her drive, would not let her join groups, would not let her work, and so she was effectively disabled as long as she was married to him....
Bruce Mowbray: and all along the way I thought that's just what wives and mothers did..... stay at home, cook, you know what I mean.
Wol Euler sighs.
Eliza Madrigal nods...
Bruce Mowbray: not exactly what I call women's liberation, huh?
Eliza Madrigal: it can be hard to have compassion for manipulative people, but I think you do have a life's work of having that for your mom
Bruce Mowbray: My mother was also raised by Catholic nuns in the 1920s...
Bruce Mowbray: I have a sense that she had been oppressed her entire life.
Agatha Macbeth: Ooer
Wol Euler: yes, eliza
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal: saw that with my mom too... that she really didn't believe she could ask for what she needed...

Bruce Mowbray: my mother was a major hero of mine, and I said so in the eulogy at her memorial service...
Bruce Mowbray: she was one of the most dynamic people I have ever known... after my father died.
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Wol Euler: and she was finally let free
Eliza Madrigal: he was raised to be that way too.. must remember
Wol Euler nods.
Bruce Mowbray: she traveled to Europe 24 times, around the world twice, led tours and South of France, and took many many courses at the University in her town where she lived... so quite a remarkable woman.
Eliza Madrigal: quite the arc
Bruce Mowbray: yes an incredible arc in her life.
Eliza Madrigal: wonderful, inspiring
Bruce Mowbray: she was certainly an inspiration to me -- although I couldn't stand to be around her for more than a day or two at a time.
Wol Euler smiles.
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: humans are complex :)
Eliza Madrigal: but I'm glad she gave you that example of transformation and change

Bruce Mowbray: I will not say that riding with her in the van was comfortable ( in the dream), but I am happy that I was able to dream about her again -- and in a positive sense....
Wol Euler: write that down :)
Eliza Madrigal: haha
Agatha Macbeth: She did
Bruce Mowbray: none of the old acrimony or conflict between us seem to come up in the dream.
Bruce Mowbray: and I felt good about that
Eliza Madrigal: it really does feel like you are understanding her
Agatha Macbeth: Good :)
Eliza Madrigal: even though you were hurt by her , and more than that, by her 'situation'

Bruce Mowbray: my mother died three weeks before her 80th birthday...
Bruce Mowbray: my brother and sister and I all had arranged to travel to her home in Oregon for the birthday celebration...
Bruce Mowbray: which turned out to be her memorial service instead.
Wol Euler: awww
Eliza Madrigal: ohh
Bruce Mowbray: all in all, I felt that she lived an excellent life...
Eliza Madrigal goosebumps
Bruce Mowbray: and I felt that her death was almost perfect... I am envious, in fact.
Bruce Mowbray: and maybe some of that in the comes out in the dream...
Bruce Mowbray: I mean, we were headed for a resort, after all....
Eliza Madrigal: hm... lakeside paradise
Bruce Mowbray: yes a lakeside paradise, or maybe a paradise in the lake itself...
Bruce Mowbray: good image, Eliza, again.
Eliza Madrigal: seems a very healing dream Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: very healing, indeed.
Eliza Madrigal: makes me feel encouraged about relationships and big pictures
Wol Euler nods.

Bruce Mowbray: one thing I'm very grateful for in my life is that I have had plenty of time to resolve the issues with both of my parents... after their deaths I mean.
Eliza Madrigal: not carry it onward?
Bruce Mowbray: I'm still working on resolving conflicts with my brother, though... who died three years ago.
Bruce Mowbray: I don't want to carry the hostility and the conflict forward...
Eliza Madrigal nods thoughtfully
Bruce Mowbray: I feel that the problem is my own and that it is my own work to resolve such conflict... whether those individuals are still living or not.
Bruce Mowbray: my brother and sister were not speaking at the time of his death, and she refused to go to his memorial service, even though she lived much closer to him than I.
Bruce Mowbray: but I understood her wishes perfectly and accepted them totally.
Wol Euler nods.
Eliza Madrigal: all you can do
Bruce Mowbray: I had, in fact, decided never to see him again myself.... although he and I talked rather frequently on the phone.
Eliza Madrigal: looking at the whole situation helps as a practice, but one can't really decide until the understanding blooms on its own
Bruce Mowbray: yes the understanding needs time to bloom on its own..
Bruce Mowbray: so true.
Bruce Mowbray: and it does take time.
Bruce Mowbray: when it happens, you truly know that it is a healing...
Eliza Madrigal nods.. layers
Bruce Mowbray: things that hurt, things that wound, ... get healed, eventually.... I consider that the graciousness of the universe at work.
Bruce Mowbray: Basic Goodness.
Eliza Madrigal: from the 'other side' so to speak, after letting someone go, I think there is a new openness that comes and the work begins again
Bruce Mowbray: wonderfully said, Eliza.
Wol Euler nods.

Bruce Mowbray: Thank you all for reading my dream and for such excellent interpretations of it.
Bruce Mowbray: you have given me much to ponder.
Wol Euler: thank you, bruce
Agatha Macbeth grins
Eliza Madrigal: thank you Bruce, very rich and meaningful
Bruce Mowbray: thank you, again, and I think I will be scraping up some supper now.
Agatha Macbeth: Scrape well Brucie
Bruce Mowbray: Be well, good people!
Wol Euler: you too
Eliza Madrigal waves
Eliza Madrigal would send Bruce a special PaB spatula if knew his address
Wol Euler: I should move on as well
Bruce Mowbray wonders how to get out of this Pavilion....
Wol Euler: goodnight all, take care, be happy
Eliza Madrigal: hahah
Eliza Madrigal: no escape
Wol Euler: walk off?
Bruce Mowbray: You right!
Eliza Madrigal: (((Wol))) okay
Agatha Macbeth: Bye Wollie
Eliza Madrigal: be sure to rest
Bruce Mowbray: You're*
Bruce Mowbray: ha ha.
Wol Euler: I shall try, thank you
Bruce Mowbray decides to try flying.
Eliza Madrigal: thanks too
Agatha Macbeth: Hope Mick is OK

--BELL--

Eliza Madrigal: I'm going to walk around the pavilion too
Wol Euler: elevator!
Wol Euler: doesn't work!
Eliza Madrigal: hah
Eliza Madrigal: oh no
Eliza Madrigal: you broke it
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Agatha Macbeth: I just TPed in
Eliza Madrigal: I rode it, but from up above
Eliza Madrigal: I like the little terrace that looks out over the rest of space